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g3k posted:It's like arguing with a rock, I gave up 6 months into this job trying to explain why it's a terrible idea. Also, users hate passwords for some reason and any upset in their workflow because of a password change is like a nuclear meltdown. Just wait till we're 100% compliant with FDLE and we have to make they carry keyfobs and change their password every 60 days instead of 90, no common words, AD remembering the last 20 passwords you used and not being able to use something similar to any of your other passwords. I can't wait for that. Print out that part of the regulations and carry it around with you at all times. When they complain, start reading it out loud.
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| # ? Jan 20, 2010 23:36 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 19:25 |
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Filling out all these 'skillsheets' at various company websites (Looking for new work yaaay). Damned if they dont always go after trivial info and take forever (And some also do that lovely session timeout if you dont finish sections fast enough! Woo!). This one though.. is it a joke by whoever wrote this page, or a sign that I should run away from this company very very fast?  e: What the christ, they list Netscape and 'Intel Processors' in there later on. This is starting to look more like a trap. AutoArgus fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2010 around 00:39 |
| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:34 |
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AutoArgus posted:The fact that the only "programming language" listed was SQL (not even PL/SQL) troubles me ever so slightly. I mean, they didn't even include HTML!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:39 |
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AutoArgus posted:This one though.. is it a joke by whoever wrote this page, or a sign that I should run away from this company very very fast? I don't think they will hire you. You put zero for every answer!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:41 |
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d3rt posted:I don't think they will hire you. You put zero for every answer! I am an -expert- at MS Paint thank you very much  . Where do you think the red box came from, huh? That whole thing was a tremendous clusterfuck though. Im pretty certain someone from HR with no clue about any of these things at all got in there and just did something horrifying.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:44 |
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AutoArgus posted:I am an -expert- at MS Paint thank you very much Photoshop?
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:45 |
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Phuzion posted:Photoshop? Greenshot?
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 00:47 |
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AutoArgus posted:I am an -expert- at MS Paint thank you very much A true MS Paint Expert would save as PNG to avoid artifacting
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 01:47 |
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AutoArgus posted:Filling out all these 'skillsheets' at various company websites (Looking for new work yaaay). Damned if they dont always go after trivial info and take forever (And some also do that lovely session timeout if you dont finish sections fast enough! Woo!). I found a job so it doesn't piss me off anymore, but gently caress Taleo. I wasted so much time of my life putting the same poo poo into Taleo because it couldn't read my resume. I wish they just had some master guide where I could put in my poo poo and would spit out a resume that would import well into Taleo, or just stop having every loving lovely company make me register and apply through their own individual Taleo site. gently caress Taleo.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 03:13 |
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FISHMANPET posted:I found a job so it doesn't piss me off anymore, but gently caress Taleo. I wasted so much time of my life putting the same poo poo into Taleo because it couldn't read my resume. I wish they just had some master guide where I could put in my poo poo and would spit out a resume that would import well into Taleo, or just stop having every loving lovely company make me register and apply through their own individual Taleo site. gently caress Taleo. gently caress every manager who thinks Taleo's RED/YELLOW/GREEN summary of an entire worthless ambiguously-worded "skills and ethics test" is a worthwhile way to screen applicants. Oh, you got a YELLOW under longevity because you didn't put "10+ YEARS" under the amount of time you expect to work at this retail store as a cashier? Next applicant!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 03:17 |
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Midelne posted:gently caress every manager who thinks Taleo's RED/YELLOW/GREEN summary of an entire worthless ambiguously-worded "skills and ethics test" is a worthwhile way to screen applicants. Oh, you got a YELLOW under longevity because you didn't put "10+ YEARS" under the amount of time you expect to work at this retail store as a cashier? Next applicant! gently caress that poo poo even more, I'd never heard what it was like on the other side. That must be why I couldn't find a loving job. gently caress finding a job.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 03:44 |
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Midelne posted:gently caress every manager who thinks Taleo's RED/YELLOW/GREEN summary of an entire worthless ambiguously-worded "skills and ethics test" is a worthwhile way to screen applicants. Oh, you got a YELLOW under longevity because you didn't put "10+ YEARS" under the amount of time you expect to work at this retail store as a cashier? Next applicant! I suppose this would only apply to retail cashier type jobs though? Why not just fill it out with all the "right" answers its not like they expect anyone to stay long term at that level anyway..
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 06:40 |
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Sniep posted:I suppose this would only apply to retail cashier type jobs though? Why not just fill it out with all the "right" answers its not like they expect anyone to stay long term at that level anyway.. It's pretty sad that you have to lie through your teeth to even get considered for a job while every intelligent person would see right through such a silly system.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 07:25 |
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Crowley posted:It's pretty sad that you have to lie through your teeth to even get considered for a job while every intelligent person would see right through such a silly system. 2 years ago some research in the Netherlands came to the shocking conclusion that about 40% of the applicants lied on their resumé. The companies didn't like this at all and started making noise. The Unions basically told them to stop making the most ridiculous job ads ever if they wanted to stop this practice, since people were now trying to beat the system and not actually applying for the job.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 07:31 |
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"Applicants must have a minimum of 5 years experience with Windows 7, and speak fluent Hungarian and Navajo"
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 11:06 |
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"Are you a good team player?" No... I mean yes!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 11:41 |
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AutoArgus posted:This one though.. is it a joke by whoever wrote this page, or a sign that I should run away from this company very very fast? Look at it positively, your future boss could've had them add that because you'll be spending the entire day sitting around in an online whiteboard sharing application doodling poo poo like "Here by dragons."
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 12:11 |
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Sweevo posted:"Applicants must have a minimum of 5 years experience with Windows 7, and speak fluent Hungarian and Navajo" So, they're hiring the team that began writing the kernel for 7?
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 12:55 |
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Phuzion posted:So, they're hiring the team that began writing the kernel for 7? I've seen a "10 years Java experience" help wanted ad, in 1998. And "10 years in Internet marketing" in 1996. Both ads appeared in print, so somebody paid money to post that poo poo.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 15:50 |
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IndustrialPope posted:2 years ago some research in the Netherlands came to the shocking conclusion that about 40% of the applicants lied on their resumé. The funny thing with statistics like this, is that they dont make the logical next step of looking to see if theres any similar number for people being fired for being unqualified.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 16:17 |
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Spatial posted:I've worked in a few places where the IT guys literally walked around with a clipboard containing a list of usernames and passwords. I was handed that clipboard on my first day on a job once. IT Guy posted:Anyone else have to deal with Goldmine everyday? I liked Goldmine. What's your beef? gently caress ACT!
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 16:27 |
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Dear people who write those fake antivirus/antimalware viruses that tell you to disinfect, and then infect the machine: gently caress you. Dear people who are stupid enough to click on them despite the fact that it's painfully obvious that the software we use is "F-Prot", not "Super Antivirus": yeah, gently caress you too.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 16:35 |
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Sniep posted:I suppose this would only apply to retail cashier type jobs though? Why not just fill it out with all the "right" answers its not like they expect anyone to stay long term at that level anyway.. I actually had a lot of trouble managing this because many of the "right" answers are written in grammatically incorrect sentences with ambiguous meanings and several right answers depending on which of several interpretations of any given word you pick. Also, at least some organizations use this crap for management-level applicants as well as cashier-level, and my objection is that you have to lie about something everyone knows is a goddamn lie to pass their screening system. If you walked in on your first day and told your supervisor to their face that you were just so pumped about cashiering and you wanted to do it for the next ten years they'd be telling the other managers that you were downright creepy or a smart-rear end five minutes after your orientation session was finished. Actually, without singling out Taleo, gently caress every pre-employment test that requires you to either lie or be Saint Francis to get a job. I had a roommate once who blew a job prospect because he was honest as the day was long and answered truthfully when asked something to the effect of what he would do if the soda machine dispensed two sodas instead of one. He answered that (like everyone else) he would be happy for the rest of the day because he got two sodas, when the ethical employee, not a thief answer is to turn in the second soda to your manager, who would totally not drink it as soon as you leave the room. Teaching your applicants that lies are essential to employment is not how you find good employees.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 16:50 |
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Midelne posted:Teaching your applicants that lies are essential to employment is not how you find good employees. Do we have honest employees? Sure! (They're the best liars in the buisness). Heres a fun one: Phone rings, pick it up to this: "Yeah, uhm, Hi, I'm outside your office and the door is closed, can someone help me?" Yeah sure pal, I close my door because I'm in here not working on something important.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 18:00 |
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LakesGuzzler posted:Dear people who write those fake antivirus/antimalware viruses that tell you to disinfect, and then infect the machine: gently caress you. At first I really hated that, considering many times it's just better to reinstall Windows. Now, I kinda like it. Then I realized, I'm getting paid to install windows. I've made quite a bit of money doing that now. I can say, "Thanks, Super Antivirus XP/360/2009/2010/Pcenter/PCtuneup/whatever!"
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 18:40 |
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LakesGuzzler posted:Dear people who write those fake antivirus/antimalware viruses that tell you to disinfect, and then infect the machine: gently caress you. If only F-secure could somehow keep those malware programs out like a good antivirus suite should... We use F-secure too and can't justify switching to anything else because we get it seriously cheap through government pricing. Cheap being $500 for several-thousand machines and 60 servers. Crowley fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2010 around 19:10 |
| # ? Jan 21, 2010 18:41 |
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My bosses domain administrator at all of our sites is 4 characters, 1 numerical. 
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 18:57 |
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Sweevo posted:"Applicants must have a minimum of 5 years experience with Windows 7, and speak fluent Hungarian and Navajo" "I have been using Windows 7 since the beta release in 2006"
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 20:11 |
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Lum posted:"I have been using Windows 7 since the beta release in 2006" Ah, but beszél magyarul?
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 20:57 |
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Spooky Man G posted:At first I really hated that, considering many times it's just better to reinstall Windows. Now, I kinda like it. Then I realized, I'm getting paid to install windows. I've made quite a bit of money doing that now. I can say, "Thanks, Super Antivirus XP/360/2009/2010/Pcenter/PCtuneup/whatever!" I actually get some kind of satisfaction from reinstalling Windows myself. There's nothing quite like getting everything installed, up to date, and nice and clean and then handing it back and the user says "wow, it's so fast now!" (for a little while). Unfortunately I'm the mere underling (when I changed jobs I took a decent step up in salary but a step down the career ladder). The boss/IT manager hates me doing reinstalls as he views it as time wasting, "you'll be at it for 3 days" he says. 1.5 max. with interruptions is closer to reality and we'll no doubt be faffing around trying to untangle the mess for a whole week instead, or he'll force me to do half a job and we'll end up coming back to it when it resurfaces a few days later. But hey ho, it's all opinions I guess. And as you allude to, it keeps me in a job anyway. Macs must already be eating into the home repair business.. if they or Linux take over the business desktop one day I'm screwed :P Crowley posted:If only F-secure could somehow keep those malware programs out like a good antivirus suite should... Haha I hear ya. It's a rubbish piece of.. software, can't even be updated centrally (virus database can, the app itself can't) and is only updated once a year anyway. (Late edit: The app I mean, not the defs) But same kind of story, not through the government but it's a very cheap antivirus solution so the powers that be (the same powers) can get the purchase order signed much more easily. GargleBlaster fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2010 around 22:23 |
| # ? Jan 21, 2010 21:47 |
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LakesGuzzler posted:I actually get some kind of satisfaction from reinstalling Windows myself. There's nothing quite like getting everything installed, up to date, and nice and clean and then handing it back and the user says "wow, it's so fast now!" (for a little while). I normally try not to get involved with PC repair but I was over at one of my friend's parents house helping out and noticed his Dad sitting fuming at the computer, which was taking around 2 minutes just to load some fairly standard web pages so I took a look. It was a 4 year old Celeron-based Dell running XP SP3 with 256MB RAM. I ordered the maximum it would support (2GB), installed it in 5 minutes and then had to run away because I thought I might be bear-hugged to death. This guy had been putting up with that for the best part of 3 years and in 5 minutes I'd brought it back into some kind of acceptable timeframe - still not what you or I would consider to be quick but certainly something you could live with. I really don't understand why people put up with that kind of thing with computers. It's not that he didn't know any better, because he was the one telling me how slow it was. If any other appliance in his house had degraded in that way you can bet he'd have been on the phone to the manufacturer straight away.
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| # ? Jan 21, 2010 22:58 |
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Sweevo posted:"Applicants must have a minimum of 5 years experience with Windows 7, and speak fluent Hungarian and Navajo" Urgh - I'm not currently applying for jobs actively, but I am keeping an eye on the boards because when I get my Cisco stuff out the way I'll start. It's scaring me how many £16k (That's entry level, I'm hoping for double that) jobs are asking for 5 years experience, CCNA/CCNP, MCSE, Linux experience, Exchange 2003 experience and so and so forth. One job I looked at quite literally had a paragraph of required skills and experience despite barely topping the McDonalds wage. In one sense, at least it's easy to avoid the companies who don't have a grip of the real world. When someone can earn more money at another company despite just checking one or two of your million boxes, then you're doing something very very very wrong. I sometimes wonder if they DO want to hire anybody. Either that or they don't care and they're doing the ebay tactic: Help Desk Operator required NOT programmer developer manager system admin linux cisco It doesn't help that I have a real paranoia about getting a job I can't do. I couldn't handle it - the idea of starting my job and someone coming over and saying the equiveleant: "Ah, HermanD, would you mind reconfiguring the flux capacitor and venting the quantum particles" Scares the poo poo out of me. Seriously! hermand fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2010 around 23:39 |
| # ? Jan 21, 2010 23:36 |
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hermand posted:It doesn't help that I have a real paranoia about getting a job I can't do. I couldn't handle it - the idea of starting my job and someone coming over and saying the equiveleant: This is me on a regular basis. We get stuff like. "Computer won't turn on." Then I frantically grab my thumb drive, XP/Vista disc, Power cord/power strip/power supply, and just about everything that would in some way, shape, or form be involved with turning on a computer. Most of the time, it's BS like an unplugged something-or-other. But one time I did have a legitimate "won't turn on." A power surge fried the PSU and I had one on me to test it. Sometimes I still have a little uneasiness with some things that I do on a regular basis. I think it's mostly a case of me experiencing a kind of "stranger in a strange land" situation.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 00:09 |
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Is it common to write an estimated salary in job ads in your countries? Here in Denmark I have never seen a figure mentioned in an ad. At the first interview you're asked how much you would like and then they will either negotiate with you right off the bat or save the negotiations for a later interview round. It's a bit annoying to have to put an exact figure on your own worth, but it gives the hiring company an excellent option of selecting between people with little experience and hardcore greybeards. It's also a nice way to discuss extras like free phone, paid internet, company car and retirement packages.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 00:17 |
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Crowley posted:Is it common to write an estimated salary in job ads in your countries? Here in Denmark I have never seen a figure mentioned in an ad. At the first interview you're asked how much you would like and then they will either negotiate with you right off the bat or save the negotiations for a later interview round. I noticed that moving from Australia to California, a lot of jobs in CA wanted you to submit a resume with the salary for each job listed. This was new to me. I don't think it was very useful either, given the conversion rates, cost of living, no benefits in Australia except for legislated Superannuation... pretty annoying really.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 00:29 |
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In the US it's pretty common in IT, especially if you're browsing job sites like Dice or Monster. If a salary figure isn't listed, that makes me a little suspicious that the listing is an undisclosed contract job (which matters a lot in the US because you'll be on your own for healthcare expenses and other benefits, plus after 6 months or a year you'll be out looking for another job) or they're going to try to massively lowball you on the salary.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 00:30 |
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Spooky Man G posted:But one time I did have a legitimate "won't turn on." A power surge fried the PSU and I had one on me to test it. Once, my computer would randomly die, wouldn't turn on for a bit, and then randomly start working again. It took me a long time to figure out it was a bad power cable, and even then I only really found out by accident. Tip for PSU testing: Ground the green wire on the 20/24 pin motherboard connector, and it'll turn on if it's working.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 02:44 |
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AutoArgus posted:The funny thing with statistics like this, is that they dont make the logical next step of looking to see if theres any similar number for people being fired for being unqualified. well, you have 3 months to prove yourself. If you function properly you're still hired, if you're not: the big lever gets pulled and you fall down the shaft into the trash.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 05:58 |
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It sure is fun looking for an IT job again. I've decided once I get my landscaping gig or IT gig to call up these bullshit IT listings to gently caress with people. I would do it now but it's kind of depressing when you are looking for work.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 12:37 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 19:25 |
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hermand posted:Urgh - I'm not currently applying for jobs actively, but I am keeping an eye on the boards because when I get my Cisco stuff out the way I'll start. This sounds exactly like me when I finished school. I was terrified for starting a job and being tasked to do something I've never even heard of before. This just isn't the case in the real world I soon learned after starting my current position. It really has a lot to do with the ads that companies are putting out requiring every skill of every thinkable position. The ad that I applied for had things like Coldfusion and expert Dreamweaver required. I am familiar with Dreamweaver, although, I program entirely in notepad++. Guess what? They don't even have a Coldfusion server or Dreamweaver on any machine. Also, if the companies you're applying for aren't multi-million dollar, chances are they aren't using Cisco equipment either. I now apply to any ad posted and don't give a poo poo what skills they post because of this. They can loving judge me in the interview, not some bullshit screening ad.
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| # ? Jan 22, 2010 12:55 |
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