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"What antivirus do you run?" "I don't know. Am I supposed to know?" Arrrggh, god forbid you take a passing interest in the machine you spent $800 on and spend hours every day using.
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| # ¿ Feb 17, 2011 22:30 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 07:06 |
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Lareous posted:But GODDAMN at least know what size windshield wipers to buy and how to fill up the wiper fluid. My experience is more like "at least know what make and model you own".
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| # ¿ Feb 17, 2011 22:40 |
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Honestly, OS/manufacturer means nothing if the user is dumb. I do walk-up support and I see roughly equal amounts of Dell, HP, Apple, Toshiba, and Lenovo. (None of them can manage to connect to a WPA2 Enterprise network for some reason.)
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| # ¿ Feb 18, 2011 17:54 |
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Yeah, it doesn't matter what OS you use if "run the network setup wizard we provide you, then connect to the network and type in your credentials" is too difficult. That probably 90% of the wifi troubleshooting I do is fixed by that just makes it all the more  .
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| # ¿ Feb 18, 2011 19:44 |
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The Reaganomicon posted:Try and sniff the URL the downloader is using. What would you do that with, Wireshark?
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| # ¿ Feb 20, 2011 17:55 |
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Yeah, our President sent out a letter announcing how proud he was to have saved money by eliminating raises and a couple of days later accepted a $60,000 bonus, the smug gently caress.
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| # ¿ Feb 21, 2011 13:38 |
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SynMoo posted:The owner of my company wisely decided to hold off purchasing a new Escalade after laying off 80% of the staff here for two weeks in December. "I can keep living my extravagant lifestyle for a short while longer! I just have to destroy my company's ability to make money!"
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| # ¿ Feb 21, 2011 15:03 |
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Crowley posted:Except for C-levels, who must be It's always fascinating to me how the skills that actually involve the functions of the company are so much less valuable than the skills used to run the company (into the ground).
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| # ¿ Feb 21, 2011 16:19 |
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boo_radley posted:welcome to the future of the data center. Deeeeply skeptical. VVVVV Well, I worked hard at it. Pope Guilty fucked around with this message at Feb 26, 2011 around 04:32 |
| # ¿ Feb 26, 2011 04:26 |
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rolleyes posted:I'll be honest, I genuinely didn't realise Wordperfect still existed. People actually still use it? The school I'm at gives away Office, and also Wordperfect. I have never once taken a contact or seen a ticket relating to Wordperfect.
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| # ¿ Feb 26, 2011 05:58 |
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My standard response is "as much power as you can comfortably afford". Seems to make people happy.
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| # ¿ Feb 28, 2011 14:24 |
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Starbucks posted:I just tell people to buy a mac nowadays it is a lot easier, if they buy one they normally will not have a problem with it I see as many Macs as PCs doing tech support despite there being fewer Macs on campus. The common thread is stupidity, not OS.
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| # ¿ Mar 1, 2011 05:08 |
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"How do I upload these files from the server to my laptop?"
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| # ¿ Mar 1, 2011 07:57 |
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rolleyes posted:I'd prefer it if you left them in ignorance - presence of video is a litmus test for terrible presentations. The best thing is when they can't be bothered to edit or cue the video, so they have to load the powerpoint slide, start the video, move it to the starting point, and stop it manually, usually five to fifteen seconds after the point they wanted to end on. VVVVV The very basics of how GUI interface elements are designed would improve people's lives a hundred times as much as "click this button to open your email". Pope Guilty fucked around with this message at Mar 3, 2011 around 11:31 |
| # ¿ Mar 3, 2011 11:27 |
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Janin posted:If you get a job as a programmer, especially one tasked with writing style guidelines, please do not write code like this: I'm not a coder, what's wrong with this?
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| # ¿ Mar 5, 2011 04:27 |
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TheGopher posted:He's been here so long that his own lovely code perpetuates his job security, though my boss doesn't yet realize that. I need to get the gently caress out of here. All I can think of is that Dilbert where Dilbert and Wally discover that the reason one of their coworkers never seems to do any work is that he wrote the payroll system back in the 80's: 2 million lines of spaghetti code.
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| # ¿ Mar 17, 2011 23:22 |
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Moey posted:poo poo that pisses me off: People who don't know how to install/setup their own software! Worse yet are people who have very clearly managed to install software, but freak out when asked to do so! I had a call from a user who'd got a fake antivirus, but not one that installed itself as a drive-by- oh no, he went looking for an antivirus platform and instead of going to our heavily-publicised university site for downloading software to download SEP, he just did a Google search and somehow managed to wind up with System Tool or something like that. I gave instructions on booting to safe mode and explained how to locate and download Malwarebytes when I told him to install it and let it automatically run after installation when he stopped me to ask how to install the program I'd just explained how to download the installer for. gently caress.
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| # ¿ Mar 24, 2011 09:21 |
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Ephphatha posted:We have some idiot-proof setup wizards for a few software packages and services on campus. Fuuuuuuck, we have something extremely similar and a lot of people still can't figure it out. The best thing is the number of people who will, when they see the message saying they have to register their MAC address and to click here to do so, will bring the machine up to the support desk or call the support number saying that their wifi is broken or that they have a virus because they keep getting redirected to this page and they don't know what to do. It's funny, but apparently basic loving literacy is no longer a requirement for college.
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| # ¿ Mar 24, 2011 10:54 |
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The Reaganomicon posted:I stepped away from my computer for a second, and a fellow coworker sent the goatse to our boss. This is probably the best reversal of fortune story I've heard in ages.
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| # ¿ Mar 25, 2011 21:09 |
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Speaking of Macs, I was asked yesterday by somebody who regularly joins computers to our AD domain what a particular error message meant while trying to do just that. The first three Google results were "your computer's time doesn't match the AD server", which would've been fine except her immediate response was "Oh, I thought it was weird that the clock was off!" *sigh*
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| # ¿ Mar 25, 2011 22:04 |
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boo_radley posted:What's this, some good news? Our MSDN licenses are going to cost $250 because we're academic. People never checked just because they assumed the price would be near retail ($11,899). I assume you're budgeted for $11,899 and will now have to find something to spend that on?
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| # ¿ Mar 28, 2011 21:56 |
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teethgrinder posted:They only work a couple days a week, but I'm so tired of working with seniors (75+) who just don't 'get' computers and blame them for everything. PLEASE STOP WORKING. PLEASE FORCE THEM TO RETIRE. If your job requires you to use a computer, and you are not good with computers, you are, ipso facto, bad at your job and should either learn to use a computer or get shitcanned.
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| # ¿ Mar 31, 2011 19:24 |
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balakadaka posted:I routinely meet people under 21 who qualify for this, and make the same excuses as, a 75 year-old near-retiree My job is basically to help exactly this population to have working computers. I have wet dreams of a workplace with managed computers, where users do not all have local admin.
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| # ¿ Mar 31, 2011 19:58 |
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Drighton posted:What was said: "What does the error message say?" This one absolutely kills me. "It says, uh, something about an error." It's right the gently caress in front of you, you loving illiterate pieces of poo poo.
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| # ¿ Apr 1, 2011 14:57 |
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The best people to hear from in phone support are ex-military. They know the NATO alphabet like it's second nature.
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| # ¿ Apr 1, 2011 16:12 |
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Scaramouche posted:E as in Eidelweiss You had me at Frangelico.
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| # ¿ Apr 1, 2011 22:31 |
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madmaan posted:EDIT** Wait, am I arguing with the guy who says you should feel bad about using your own vacation? No wonder I can't figure out his logic. I still want to know what the justification for this is.
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| # ¿ Apr 10, 2011 23:33 |
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I have this mental image of the average user standing by the side of the road next to a totaled car, shrugging and saying to a cop "I don't know what happened, I'm not a car genius!" I'm starting to suspect that they're not human. After all, human beings who do something over and over again, or who use the same tool all day every day, learn something. Even animals learn. Even viruses mutate and adapt. gently caress it, the guy who wrote the Computer literacy article on Wikipedia is 100% right.
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| # ¿ Apr 11, 2011 20:20 |
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Bardlebee posted:I don't expect users to know how to change their paper sizing when they print, but I expect people to at least Google poo poo before asking. My favorite subtle "gently caress users" move is responding to a question by Googling it. On a screen the user can see.
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| # ¿ Apr 11, 2011 20:30 |
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Yesterday somebody came to the desk I was working at and asked me how to use iMovie. Like, she didn't know how to use it, and, it turned out, thought I could just explain to her how the software works in a minute or two while they stood there. We offer free access to Lynda.com and free xlasses on all kinds of technology subjects you lazy shits. Almost as great was the guy walking up to the other desk I work at and asking how to pull clips off a DVD to use in a presentation. When I told him to download Premiere (which we offer for free to students, faculty, etc) and use that, he gave me an incredulous look and said "you mean this'll take time?"
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| # ¿ Apr 12, 2011 21:58 |
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Biowarfare posted:User uses critical thinking! Not in a million loving years.
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| # ¿ Apr 14, 2011 01:48 |
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GargleBlaster posted:He ended up using the CAPTCHA for his username as he thought it sounded cool This is my move next time I need a random username.
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| # ¿ Apr 20, 2011 08:57 |
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Can you pull the MAC address? Check it against this site?
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| # ¿ Apr 21, 2011 16:04 |
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Why, why, why, loving why do people get the impression that by having gone to this school at some point in their useless lives they have purchased a lifetime supply of home tech support?
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| # ¿ May 15, 2011 03:23 |
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Jedi425 posted:I'll usually offer to transfer them to the campus operator if they call me. Once, though, I got a call from some confused Indian woman who apparently forgot all about timezones and somehow got in on the NOC Console's unlisted number at 4am, looking for Undergraduate Admissions. For her, I looked up the right number (and told her she'd have to wait a good 5 hours to call). Every Friday night, like clockwork, come the calls from people who don't understand that the office of admissions and the office of the bursar aren't open at 9pm, let alone at 9pm on a Friday, and for some reason think tech support is the right number to call to talk about their billing or why they're not showing up in a particular class. Nearly all of them go "Oh, right" when you point that out, but once in awhile you get the crazy motherfuckers who are personally offended that offices keep office hours.
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| # ¿ May 18, 2011 12:12 |
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Speaking of high school tech guys, back around 1998 (I was class of 2000) the IT guy- the only IT guy- at my highschool argued against more money for computing resources and education at a school board meeting, insisting that computers and computing skills weren't important going forward. This would be why the only computer-related classes at my high school (again, class of 2000) were BASIC and Pascal. Meanwhile, at a middle school a hundred miles north, my 7th grade stepsister was learning to write HTML. Argh.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2011 14:18 |
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Pham Nuwen posted:Your stepsister got screwed. You learned two real programming languages, although they are admittedly rarely used these days. Still you should have come out of it with a basic understanding of functions, data structures, pointers, looping, logic, etc. If you want to learn HTML, spend an afternoon on Google, it's just a markup language. You have an unwarrantedly high opinion of what went on in those high-school programming classes.
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| # ¿ May 23, 2011 00:08 |
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You know what, gently caress every tunnel-visioning piece of poo poo that calls me for help. You can't see the Tools menu that is right in front of your face? gently caress you. You can't see "All Programs" in your Start Menu? gently caress you. You can't read the items in a menu, line by line, until you get to the one I told you to look for? gently caress you.
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| # ¿ May 27, 2011 02:09 |
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Dude's SD card isn't working, so I have him uninstall his driver and reboot. Standard, right? "So are we getting anywhere with this or are we just wasting time?"gently caress off, rear end in a top hat, I have better things to do with my time.
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| # ¿ May 27, 2011 03:51 |
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| # ¿ May 21, 2013 07:06 |
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Holy goddamn, do I loathe people who call in for help with their home wireless networks. I AM UNIVERSITY SUPPORT. I AM NOT LINKSYS OR NETGEAR. I AM NOT THE RIGHT PERSON TO CONTACT FOR HELP. But of course since my bosses don't comprehend the concept of support boundaries, we have to try and help them. Tonight's horror story: some dick who called in all upset that Windows saved his WPA key, which he was worried meant that every other copy of Windows would have his WPA key. Took ten minutes to convince him that this is expected behavior and not evidence that his network is wide open. Fake Edit: "I've got you on speakerphone" 
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| # ¿ May 28, 2011 01:37 |
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