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I just found one just before posting and getting sidetracked because of a computer crash. I'm using Windows Vista Business x64 (dual booted with XP). For some reason when I'm in Vista (either the x86 or x64), if I turn away from the computer, the drat thing crashes. If my computer goes to sleep/hibernates, I get a BSOD. It's been doing this ever since Vista came out and hasn't been addressed yet (I make sure to keep my computers up to date). It's really annoying when you're doing something important (Updates, Leaving a document open, listening to music, what-not) and when you return, you see blue. I know I'm not the only one who experiences this. Second, this is a problem I've experienced today and the last few days now. We got viruses on some machines (mine included) and my admin's solution is to DoD wipe the computers (super long formatting that takes all night) because of a little virus/trojan. Seriously, delete a file and possibly a registry entry. "The system's been compromised" I've been fixing/deporning computers for years, I know how to fix these things (95% of the time). Never mind our super McCrappy (McAfee) Enterprise software.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2008 02:25 |
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| # ¿ May 20, 2013 17:35 |
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...with how locked down these machines are, you can't even install thumb drives on many of them. Hell, our "administrator" account won't allow me to delete printers from "Printers and Faxes."
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| # ¿ May 22, 2008 02:35 |
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"Must go faster, must go faster" Every day with my laptop. It was "Designed for ME/2000" and every time I put my thumb drive in, I hear :pop: and get that oh-so-helpful balloon.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2008 02:42 |
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I'm so sorry.
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| # ¿ May 22, 2008 03:32 |
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On a lot of those sites that don't allow you to copy copyrighted stuffs, you can almost always use Ctrl-C. I usually do that out of spite. Assholes.
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| # ¿ Jun 30, 2008 14:12 |
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Something that I just experienced while de-porning a user's computer: drat was this person's pooter infected. They had the hijacked "Your computer is infected with spyware" desktop wallpaper, little "bugs" were crawling all over the screen, and countless spyware entries. But the thing that was really interesting was this little thing: There was a screen saver on there that after 1 minute or so of inactivity, the screen would show a mock BSOD of random nature. I was scanning the thing for a while, and left it alone. I came back and went, WTF. I hit ctrl-alt-del, only to get right back to the desktop. Odd.
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| # ¿ Jul 18, 2008 01:03 |
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Oh yeah: File downloading......5...4...3...2...1... 3 hours, 22 minutes, 45 seconds. This happens a lot when you download torrents, or other distributed files.
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| # ¿ Aug 12, 2008 18:58 |
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quote:And I swear to god, every single time, by the time they actually remember their user name, they've forgotten their goddamn password. And then they've locked out their account. I get this one a lot: "What is my login name?" Seriously? It's located all over the desk area. "What's the administrator's password? I can't log in!" Just login with your regular login info. "I don't know what it is!" You've been working here for how many months/years, and you don't know what your user name is? Like you said, it's 99% "first-letter-of-first-name-then-last-name" I feel you. As we speak I'm doing various critical updates and I have to call the various departments/desks to LOG OFF, not shut down or lock their computers. Then I'll try to remote desktop into the computers and get "Could not communicate with client" "Or XXX user is logged into machine, log off?" God damnit, I very clearly said to LOG OFF (emphasize the LOG OFF part) the machine, not turn it off or lock it! How we fix the domain issue, we have all staff enter their user names as UserName@DepartmentName
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| # ¿ Oct 16, 2008 20:30 |
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I also like the NOSSO installer for that POS software. We have old-rear end P-III computers and just getting past that stupid unpacking step (look! I'm counting to 100% with 2 whole decimal places, I'm so cool!). Seriously, that loving process takes between 5-10 minutes on these machines, only for the rest of the process to take less than one. All that for 24MB of bullshit and registry entries? gently caress you with a sharp, rusty, cumbersome object. I hate you, hate you. I got more that I'll divulge later.
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| # ¿ Nov 12, 2008 00:19 |
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Oh yes, this is a fun one that I got to experience as my first week of being a network admin substitute: Our University/department thought it would be a great idea to hire some 3rd party to create some special imaging software for the computers on our network (expensive, no less). All you have to do is go in the BIOS and have your computer boot from network, hit F10, enter in your credentials, and you're good to go. Except: This software only installs a basic install of Windows XP. Nothing more, nothing less. Important things, like drivers. There was no QA done on this software and the computers were blindly imaged and sent out. Awesome. Right after that, we get dozens of calls from people complaining that "their speakers are broken" (The sound card drivers were not installed) and that "the computer looks funny" (Video card drivers were not installed, so it was running at 800x600 resolution), and all that fun stuff for different devices. So we got to run around and go to each of these computers and "fix their speakers". Which brings me to the next part: In a normal, healthy network setting, you have a user account with its own password and a master admin account/password that only certain people know. Not this case. As part of this fun imaging software, the computer generates a password based on an algorithm comprised of the computer's service tag, the computer manufacturer, and a math function comprised of the month/year. That's right, each computer has its own UNIQUE ADMIN PASSWORD and at that time the only way to type in the password was to be at that computer, crawl underneath the desk and have at it. Problem was that depending on when that computer was imaged, there could be a different login name, as well as password algorithm, creating possibly 9 different outcomes as to what it was. It also updated accounts after each restart, and most computers are left on 24/7, so who knows when the last restart was. Normally, the department had its own master account that it would use. This imaging software deleted that account and would only accept the new ones. Problem was, the people who created this software didn't inform us of these changes, nor of the new passwords. So for the first 2 days, we were locked out of our own system. So we were unable to do anything at all besides walk around and say, "Sorry, can't help you." Install a printer, your "speakers", sorry. Need Flash installed, no can do. Configure e-mail, get out.
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| # ¿ Nov 12, 2008 03:18 |
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5 for $5.95! Sonovabitch! Now I'm getting all angry-face! I. I don't even know how to use the emoticon I am feeling right now (red, angry fist shake)!
Ted Stevens fucked around with this message at Nov 14, 2008 around 21:49 |
| # ¿ Nov 14, 2008 21:47 |
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quote:Fault reported: X On that note, I got nearly this exact message. Subject: "Computer Problem" Message: Computer problem. Server is down. Come help. Actual problem: User forgot/entered their password wrong 3 times and locked out account. A quick trip to Active Directory to unlock account and all is well.
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| # ¿ Nov 19, 2008 20:26 |
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I just saw this little gem: We are installing this new ticketing system to help deal with our computer problems. It requires .NET framework v2 to install. I click on the link to install this program, run through ~60% of the install, it stops and tells me "This version of .NET Framework (v2) is incompatible with the required version (v2)." WTF? I ran the install again, and it worked. I can't think of much else that is more annoying than running an installer, having to wait almost 5 minutes to unzip the installer package, only for it to install partway and then cancel on you. Bonus points if you have the version that it requires.
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| # ¿ Dec 4, 2008 15:16 |
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You gotta be careful that you do THOROUGHLY read and REREAD each and every confirmation dialog box that pops up in a malware installation/uninstallation. They get really nasty sometimes, such as: "Are you not sure that you do not want to not uninstall this product and lose out on THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF HUGE SAVINGS $$$$$$$ ON ALL THE LATEST AWESOME GADGETS !!!!!!!! ? Hit yes or no. Then it pops up again with a similar window and if you get that one wrong, the process cancels.
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| # ¿ Dec 15, 2008 15:16 |
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To a different extent, something that kinda bugs me is after using msconfig and you restart the computer, you get that "You have used the system configuration utility..." The last sentence with the checkbox (that does jack poo poo anyway) says: "Don't show this message or launch the system configuration utility when Windows start
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| # ¿ Jan 13, 2009 15:33 |
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Well, it was the combo of that little check box doing absolutely nothing and the "start" issue, but mostly the latter. If you use msconfig again later, that same god damned window pops up again. And that grammar issue. I use msconfig a lot and it annoys me seeing it appear so many times. It's "starts," damnit!
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| # ¿ Jan 14, 2009 03:46 |
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haljordan posted:I think there's an actual chip in the cartridge that enables the printer to recognize it as a "genuine HP part." There goes my bootleg Mexican ink business. Fuckers. On some printers it was as easy as putting strips of tape over strategically places spots on the connectors, put them into the printer, wait a few seconds, take them out, remove the tape and you're golden. I did it with an old HP of mine. Also, antivirus programs that automatically delete files rather than ask you what to do. Downloading No-CD crack, done. VIRUS DETECTED AND DELETED!! God damnit. It's not a virus, I've used it before with no problems.
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| # ¿ Jan 22, 2009 02:04 |
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ooo, ooo, did it automatically quarantine/delete the affected files, thus rendering your AV useless and crash-tastic?
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| # ¿ Jan 23, 2009 19:58 |
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potato of destiny posted:How much you wanna bet they had some kind of cumbersome "no updates ever unless they're approved by the red tape committee because we did an update to something 15 years ago and everything broke" policy? No, they have McAfee 7.0 and no updates. But hey, it has antivirus! In our department, we have to have a big meeting with the department head and one of the accountants to justify replacing our old Dell GX-1s. Then it has to be approved by a committee that involves my boss, Dr. So-and-So, and a few other people to get it. We're talking about replacing 10+ year old computers and servers. God damnit, a P-II is not a viable server box! At least it gets approved most of the time 
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| # ¿ Feb 3, 2009 15:25 |
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ThinkFear posted:Couple this with the progress bars that continually fill and start over, providing no actual indication of progress, and we have a winner for insanity. Java installer. I think Adobe Reader has already been said. I got this error a couple days ago when installing an older game: "You need Windows 95 or newer to install this software" On an XP machine. I remember a while back when I got into the warez thing "Oh poo poo! It's registering Windows! I have an illegal copy!
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| # ¿ Feb 4, 2009 03:33 |
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Or the fuckers pull a Windows-L. God damnit, don't you understand the difference between log off and lock?
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| # ¿ Feb 5, 2009 19:50 |
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...and if you need to logout/pull up taskmanager in a Remote Desktop situation, it's ctrl-alt-end
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| # ¿ Feb 8, 2009 18:17 |
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Ah! You download a 120MB HP driver only for it to create a directory called c:\923eu2e90823ue32923823r98237e..... which contains 200+ MB of data! That data will never be used again. At. All. Ever. Damnit, HP, why can't you delete that poo poo? Yes, I know it's where the drivers are located. But when will it ever be used again?
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| # ¿ Feb 12, 2009 20:59 |
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Social engineering, all the way. I've done similar things. Since I'm IT, I just say I'm here to fix Dr./Mr./Mrs so-and-so's computer/copier/printer. They just pass you along, no problem. No badge required. No one around here gives two shits. I could walk out with a computer no problems. Not that I would.
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| # ¿ Feb 15, 2009 04:10 |
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rolleyes posted:This has probably been said before, but password policies that go beyond being helpful and into the password-nazi zone. My company used to have a fairly standard policy - minimum length of 8, got to have a number and some punctuation in there, 40 day expiration and you couldn't use any of your 5 most recently used passwords when changing it. My way around this is Thisismypa$$word1, then Thisismypa$$word11, Thisismypa$$word111... etc. Of course that's not my actual password, but you get it. I understand how hard it is to remember passwords like that. Ours is something like "Can't use last 8 passwords"
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| # ¿ Feb 16, 2009 21:29 |
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Troubleshooting a computer for Dr. So-and-So. Him: My computer screen is blank! Me: OK, is the screen on? Do you see a light on it? Him: Yes, it's orange. Me: OK, is the computer on? Him: I don't know, how would I know? (seriously, WTF) Me: Uh, well, are the fans on the computer working? Him: No. Me: Push the power button. Him: What's that? Seriously? Seriously? Have you never heard of a power button before? Anyone born in the 20th century (read EVERYONE) understands the concept of a power button. You're not that old, either! It's a shiny, silver colored large button with the universal power icon on it that clicks when you push it, turns on the computer, and glows when the computer is on. You could not be any older than your 40s and you don't understand that? I'd hate to see you function in everyday society. I wonder how they grasp complex tasks like driving.
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| # ¿ Feb 23, 2009 22:02 |
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...and seriously, how many computers are on this network to even bring up these home networking issues? There are 3 devices at my family's house and all I do is share a printer and keep the tubes flowing.
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| # ¿ Mar 11, 2009 19:59 |
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Chris Knight posted:Well it IS a hardware issue. I really want to make a programmer joke here, but I can't quite put the words together.
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| # ¿ Mar 23, 2009 03:07 |
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But you're paying for convenience. CONVENIENCE, MAN! You're paying that $3.50 so you don't have to get out of the house to buy a $.42 stamp and go through the hassle of filling out the check and paying the bill!
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| # ¿ Mar 25, 2009 20:00 |
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Hey, I got a call on my BlackBerry from some number! Hello? Hello. It has come to our attention that the warranty on your car may be soon expiring. No loving poo poo, my car is (was) from 1992! :click: Or: Hello? Are you paying too much for your health insurance, blah blah...
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| # ¿ Mar 26, 2009 21:00 |
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It's good to know many of us experience the same thing with our phones. At least it's gone down A LOT from what it used to be.quote:Part of our closing script is "Thank you for calling <department>".. I've caught myself doing that many times myself. I'm the "You too!" guy.
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| # ¿ Mar 27, 2009 19:01 |
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Casao posted:You also don't cause yourself physical damage from a laptop, so it's a bad basis to begin with. You'd be surprised what some users can do. Hell, my roommate fell asleep with the power supply to his laptop resting on his arm and got burns all over him. He is going to get a settlement from Acer, at least.
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| # ¿ Mar 27, 2009 23:33 |
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quote:I bet they pitch a fit if you turn in an assignment via email in .docx format, because the professors' machines are all running Office 2003. There is a compatibility so pre-Office 2007 flavors can read .docx files. It's been around for a LONG time and there have been service packs made for it already. There's no excuse. What I hated about my programming classes was the one (and at the time only) professor who taught Java. Aside from lecturing for over 3 hours about absolutely nothing that in any way was tied to our coursework, chapters we were reading, or coming assignments, he had us label every line in our programs. It would go like this: //This is the header.... //this is a variable declaration...//this is the function to start the random number generator. In the end, there would be more comments than actual program. We used C#, whether that's better than the other Cs or not, who knows?
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| # ¿ Mar 31, 2009 14:47 |
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Instant Bacon posted:People that use MS Paint and save as JPegs. Wait, I do that a lot. What is wrong with that? It's fast, simple, and creates small files. What method do you use?
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| # ¿ Mar 31, 2009 16:13 |
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Here's one: We have an HP Color LaserJet 2600n printer connected to the network. But every so often without any provocation, the drat thing just forgets its IP address. Everything looks fine, the thing is constantly on, I couldn't find a battery that keeps those settings, so I'm not sure what the problem is. We'll just get a call "OMG IT, I can't like print to the color printer!"- That was an exact call. We just go over there and check the settings. Sometimes, the printer still has the IP stored in the printer, too. I don't get it. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this one: Cock suckers who unravel half a god damned roll of toilet paper (the giant industrial sized rolls) and wad it all in the toilets. This is usually mixed with a freshly dropped poo poo inside. Please die.
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| # ¿ Apr 7, 2009 19:09 |
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royallthefourth posted:What is that about? Where do you work, a middle school? A university, close though. Honestly, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. And no, Panthrax, this is deliberate. Think half of one of these rolls all wadded inside a toilet bowl: http://www.anisafety.com/index.aspx...o&GroupID=15158 I feel so bad for the janitors.
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| # ¿ Apr 8, 2009 00:25 |
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...and even on a fast computer, takes quite some time to load up. IE/FF freezes up for a bit, then you see the loading ring of Java. Pray to Jebus that you didn't accidentally click on the link and have to go back because you have to wait for the drat applet to load up first.
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| # ¿ Apr 8, 2009 14:26 |
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I think I already said this one, but MF Administrator passwords. At the university, we are doing a server/domain migration. Instead of a whole bunch of essentially "independent islands", we're all moving EVERYTHING onto one giant domain. The last few weeks have been tons of fun. Aside from the step-by-step instruction guide we gave everyone who in any way, shape, or form used a computer, we still had problems. From the user standpoint, the change was no more than going from username@olddomain.edu to username@newdomain.edu. Nevermind that part. Those problems were solved with no more than a 5-10 minute phone call and some head banging on the desk. No, the problem is this: Since we moved all the domains onto one big one, that new one completely overrode all of our computer settings, user controls, everything. One REALLY stupid change was giving EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMNED ACCOUNT full administrator access not only as local admin, but network rights, too. We get constant "oops, I deleted an important file from the server." "Super XP Antivirus 360 is saying I have a virus!", "What is Vundo?" Pain in the rear end. Now we're in charge of three domains worth of these people constantly calling us about this. The people in charge's reasoning behind this is that once they mess up the computer enough, we'll just reimage them. Another great thing about this is the fact that since we moved, it deleted our administrator account and changed it to a different one. Which one? Well, that's for us to figure out. We're IT, after all, we should know this! It boils down to this: There are possibly 3 admin accounts depending on the last time the computer was reimaged, or even restarted. It could be accountA, accountB, or accountC, possibly D, but that is a rare exception. Not only that, but there is passwordX, passwordY, passwordZ potentially for each account. Passwords X and Y are static passwords, they always are what they are. But, PasswordZ is a special case. It takes information from the computer's service tag, computer name, and an algorithm comprised of the date. It could involve this month, last month, the month before, or even last year. EACH COMPUTER'S ADMIN PASSWORD IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER COMPUTER! We can spend 15-20 minutes just trying out password combinations to login before we do our jobs. We've noted and complained about this, but nothing is being done. Finally, we were all admins on our old domain, we could freely add/delete computers on our domain no problem. Since the consolidation, only Central IT can do that now. Well, I had a fairly important person's computer crash this week and had to reinstall it. Everything is done and I call CIT to join the computer to the new domain, but all of the admins there are on vacation all week! Hey, at least that person basically got paid to do nothing all week. Don't get me started with another department we inherited. Ted Stevens fucked around with this message at Apr 11, 2009 around 03:32 |
| # ¿ Apr 11, 2009 03:29 |
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No problem. Oh, and one more thing: A custodial staff was fired this week for viewing objectionable material (potential child porn)from a computer lab computer. Instead of doing that at a corner computer (you know, away from sight and all), the screen was facing the building director, and to a greater extent the main hallway that everyone on that floor walks by.
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| # ¿ Apr 11, 2009 04:34 |
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| # ¿ May 20, 2013 17:35 |
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Here's another that I gave the solution to that was ignored: That Sorta Important Person's computer issue has been resolved. We could not get it to join to the new domain. My first thought was that the computer name is still listed on the domain controller and needs to be taken off before I can put it back on. We get the admin, the network engineer-type person, the head admin at CIT to take a look at it. Still wouldn't join. All we got was "Access is Denied." Today, our admin went on the domain server and saw that the computer name was listed on the OU. Delete. Join to new domain, success! I could have done that almost a week ago.
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| # ¿ Apr 15, 2009 14:31 |
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