What is Venison? - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Gas Chamber > What is Venison?

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

So my roommate went to china and left a bag of ground deer meat in the freezer...

so my question is, what is something good to make out of it. I tried to make some venison burgers, but they were amazingly disgusting.

ideas
go

qwertytrewq

# ? Jun 6, 2008 18:41

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# ? May 23, 2013 18:37

Dr. Fishopolis: Aug 31, 2004; ROBOT

disgusting how? what was wrong with them?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 18:44

Superhaus: Jun 9, 2003; I'm probably wasting time right now.

Venison burger usually taste a lot better if there is some beef fat mixed in with the deer meat. Deer meat is just too lean to eat like that, and deer fat is gross.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 18:46

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

Superhaus posted:

Venison burger usually taste a lot better if there is some beef fat mixed in with the deer meat. Deer meat is just too lean to eat like that, and deer fat is gross.

hmm, beef fat? well, lets for the sake of argument say i had no money to buy anything else, what could you do with straight up (ground) deer meat?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 18:57

TheLizard: Oct 27, 2004; I am the Lizard Queen!

ex.hav0k posted:

hmm, beef fat? well, lets for the sake of argument say i had no money to buy anything else, what could you do with straight up (ground) deer meat?

Brown it and eat it....seriously, NOTHING else? Throw us some bones here; we can't make something out of nothing.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 19:03

Meaty Potato: Jun 3, 2006; Come Down on Me

Feed it to a deer and confirm your ticket to hell?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 19:06

Croatoan: Jun 24, 2005; Sometimes I get a
bad case of "stupid"

ex.hav0k posted:

hmm, beef fat? well, lets for the sake of argument say i had no money to buy anything else, what could you do with straight up (ground) deer meat?

What the hell?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 19:10

Gourd of Taste: Sep 11, 2006; It's a formal title.

this thread has promise!

are you saying that you have no other ingredients whatsoever?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 19:28

tycho_atreides: Oct 25, 2006; Here be dargonz

Hmmm, ONLY ground venison? not sure what you could do with that.

But you could use it to make some interesting things if you had other stuff. Like a venison bolgnese on pasta. Or a venison meatloaf. Or venison sausages. The thing is, as others have said, ground venison by itself is so lean, it'll end up dry unless you add some kind of other fat into the mix, like fatback, bacon, salt pork, etc.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 19:52

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

i just meant i couldn't buy any beef... but i do have bacon! i didn't think of that. i mean, i have flour, bacon, sugar, some seasonings (salt pepper cayanne basil garlic etc) so i was looking for something to make with basic things i may already have.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:08

7744: Mar 27, 2003; It had no choice. Their defense grid was smashed. We'd won. Taking out Carr then would make no difference. Skynet had to wipe out his entire existence!

Mix in a bunch of bacon and sugar, shape it like the twin towers and then grill it.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:11

Croatoan: Jun 24, 2005; Sometimes I get a
bad case of "stupid"

Tie it to your bike and ride around the neighborhood for meat tenderizer. Then pee on it.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:13

for sale: Nov 25, 2007

make a venison pate

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:18

Locutus of Burg: Aug 1, 2003; o<:O

For the sake of argument let's say I have no arms and legs. I've been blind since second grade and I'm legally deaf. I have poor motor control and my cognitive abilities are just about non existent. I have no edible ingredients and live in a well in the garden.

What should I make for breakfast?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:21

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

7744 posted:

Mix in a bunch of bacon and sugar, shape it like the twin towers and then grill it.

so what i think i may do is, cook up like 6 things of bacon, but im going to cut them up into bacon bits when i fry them up. then im going to take those fried bacon bits, mix them in with the venison, add half a cup of sugar and spread it out like a big patty in my cast iron skillet. then im going to chop up a green pepper and put it on top of it and cover the whole thing with cream cheese. i was considering mixing the cream cheese with cayenne pepper and texas pete to give it a little kick. so my only real question is, how long should i cook this delicious pie for? and at what temperature...

20minutes at 350? ( i really am clueless when it comes to cooking things and how long)

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:26

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

ex.hav0k posted:

so what i think i may do is, cook up like 6 things of bacon, but im going to cut them up into bacon bits when i fry them up. then im going to take those fried bacon bits, mix them in with the venison, add half a cup of sugar and spread it out like a big patty in my cast iron skillet. then im going to chop up a green pepper and put it on top of it and cover the whole thing with cream cheese. i was considering mixing the cream cheese with cayenne pepper and texas pete to give it a little kick. so my only real question is, how long should i cook this delicious pie for? and at what temperature...

20minutes at 350? ( i really am clueless when it comes to cooking things and how long)

20 minutes won't be enough to caramelize it all the way through. I suggest 60 minutes at 500. If you get flames, remember that's okay since that's what all the fancy chefs use to make things taste better. DO NOT PUT OUT THE FLAMES BECAUSE THEY ARE FULL OF FLAVOUR.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:36

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

Mr. Wiggles posted:

20 minutes won't be enough to caramelize it all the way through. I suggest 60 minutes at 500. If you get flames, remember that's okay since that's what all the fancy chefs use to make things taste better. DO NOT PUT OUT THE FLAMES BECAUSE THEY ARE FULL OF FLAVOUR.

my oven goes from 400 to broil... so should i just go for the broil? or will i have to cook it longer too?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:47

The Jizzer: Mar 19, 2003; ...a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

Oh see you didn't mention you had green pepper.

Fry up the bacon. Remove bacon, reserve fat.

Throw in sugar and chopped green pepper, cook until caramelized.

Add venison. Broil.

Crumble bacon into cream cheese, heat until soft. Pour over cooked venison. AWESOME.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:51

Gourd of Taste: Sep 11, 2006; It's a formal title.

ex.hav0k posted:

my oven goes from 400 to broil... so should i just go for the broil? or will i have to cook it longer too?

Honestly in order to cook it properly you're going to need a new oven.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:53

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

so is this still kind of like my meat pie i suggested? or are you talking about mixing the green peppers in with the venison/baconfat? i also like the bacon and cream cheese idea.

the venison is thawing out now, so i've got to have a solid idea of what to do with it in the next few hours.

but this is good, very good. i mean, i can't screw up venison... it already tastes horrid as it is.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:55

Croatoan: Jun 24, 2005; Sometimes I get a
bad case of "stupid"

DEEP FRY THAT BITCH! Use the cream cheese as a filler and make deer rangoons.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 20:56

The Jizzer: Mar 19, 2003; ...a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

ex.hav0k posted:

so is this still kind of like my meat pie i suggested? or are you talking about mixing the green peppers in with the venison/baconfat? i also like the bacon and cream cheese idea.

the venison is thawing out now, so i've got to have a solid idea of what to do with it in the next few hours.

but this is good, very good. i mean, i can't screw up venison... it already tastes horrid as it is.

You want to caramelize the peppers with the sugar IN the bacon fat, then cook the venison in the bacon fat too. Don't waste a drop of the bacon fat.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 21:04

Bnot: Oct 29, 2005

Locutus of Burg posted:

For the sake of argument let's say I have no arms and legs. I've been blind since second grade and I'm legally deaf. I have poor motor control and my cognitive abilities are just about non existent. I have no edible ingredients and live in a well in the garden.

What should I make for breakfast?

Water!

# ? Jun 6, 2008 21:26

Bnot: Oct 29, 2005

ex.hav0k posted:

my oven goes from 400 to broil... so should i just go for the broil? or will i have to cook it longer too?

I take no resposiblity for this mans demise.

Take some cream cheese in a pan, heat it to 800C (be sure to check the temp with your finger). Make a giant deer ball (frozen is better) then drop it in the hot cheese. I would call it "Cheesy Deer Balls".

# ? Jun 6, 2008 21:29

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

Bnot posted:

I take no resposiblity for this mans demise.

Take some cream cheese in a pan, heat it to 800C (be sure to check the temp with your finger). Make a giant deer ball (frozen is better) then drop it in the hot cheese. I would call it "Cheesy Deer Balls".

your idea isn't practical or funny... please stay out.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:08

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004

I have an idea that's impractical but somewhat funny. Can I come in?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:20

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

Demagogue posted:

I have an idea that's impractical but somewhat funny. Can I come in?

somewhat works

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:25

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004

The moment has passed.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:29

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

Demagogue posted:

The moment has passed.

The moment never passes when you have venison unitl you pass the venison at which point the moment is way past for passing on it.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:35

TheLizard: Oct 27, 2004; I am the Lizard Queen!

Mr. Wiggles posted:

The moment never passes when you have venison unitl you pass the venison at which point the moment is way past for passing on it.

That's like....meta.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 22:42

Gourd of Taste: Sep 11, 2006; It's a formal title.

Mr. Wiggles posted:

The moment never passes when you have venison unitl you pass the venison at which point the moment is way past for passing on it.

Mr. Wiggles could you only talk in koans from now on because that's when I like you best.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 23:04

h_double: Jul 27, 2001

Venison chili is delicious; I'll bet it would also work well in a nice slow cooked stew.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 23:09

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; I would never shop at Costco. The paper towels won't fit into my sports car!

Lord of Space posted:

Mr. Wiggles could you only talk in koans from now on because that's when I like you best.

Unask the question.

Would you like some venison?

# ? Jun 6, 2008 23:16

Dr. Fishopolis: Aug 31, 2004; ROBOT

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Unask the question.

Would you like some venison?

no don't take it it's a trick

everyone knows venison tastes HORRIBLE

# ? Jun 6, 2008 23:35

The Fear: Dec 10, 2003

Penison.

# ? Jun 6, 2008 23:36

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

anyways, im carmalin the green pepper now... this thing is go!

# ? Jun 7, 2008 00:13

DiscoKid: May 25, 2004; by Fistgrrl

WAIT STOP!!

# ? Jun 7, 2008 00:19

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004

ex.hav0k posted:

carmalin

New, from the makers of Advil and Pedialyte.

# ? Jun 7, 2008 00:28

giacomo: Mar 11, 2008

ok, well i put it in the oven... but now im just thinking about how gross it's going to be.... i put those carmalized peppers on top of the huge venison patty i made, and then put some of the cream cheese sauce on top of it... and stuck it in the oven at some temperature.... i guess ill check on it in a minute...

this isn't going to turn out well

giacomo fucked around with this message at Jun 7, 2008 around 00:47

# ? Jun 7, 2008 00:38

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# ? May 23, 2013 18:37

SubG: Aug 19, 2004; Let me tell you a little story about HURF and DURF

ex.hav0k posted:

ok, well i put it in the oven... but now im just thinking about how gross it's going to be.... i put those carmalized peppers on top of the huge venison patty i made, and then put some of the cream cheese sauce on top of it... and stuck it in the oven at some temperature.... i guess ill check on it in a minute...
this isn't going to turn out well

I think this is going to turn out wonderfully.

Be sure to cook it until the inside reaches some temperature.

# ? Jun 7, 2008 00:48

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