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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > (NWS) Images from the Road: A Dollfucker's Travellogue

Debbie Metallica: Jun 7, 2001

Bitch if I'm not on the clock that diaper is staying soiled

# ? Nov 23, 2008 08:08

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:32

Apology: Nov 12, 2005; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Ozma posted:

Bitch if I'm not on the clock that diaper is staying soiled

:lol:

No poo poo, it's insane. "My hours are 8 am to 5 pm, so you'd best get your crapping done before I clock out."

I feel sorry for her. She deserves a better caretaker than a spoiled brat who bitches about the quality of his presents and makes out with his doll when his family is around.

I notice that he didn't mention what Kat got for Christmas. I can tell you what she didn't get though: a change of clothes and a clean diaper.

Also, seeya, Goonobyl, wouldn't want to be ya.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 08:20

Chronicler of Dongs: Apr 22, 2003; ~*~ Magic Mittens ~*~

Surfingelectrode posted:

Oh, god this is too much.

I never thought I would enjoy a giant wall of text that started off ranting about how a botched cron job ruined christmas, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Anything that has the phrase "part-time Juggalo" is pretty much guaranted to be amusing.

It's almost too depressing to be funny.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 08:26

Surfingelectrode: Jan 17, 2006; Yeah, I know it's a drag...
but wastin' pigs is still radical.

Apology posted:

No poo poo, it's insane. "My hours are 8 am to 5 pm, so you'd best get your crapping done before I clock out."

I feel sorry for her. She deserves a better caretaker than a spoiled brat who bitches about the quality of his presents and makes out with his doll when his family is around.

I notice that he didn't mention what Kat got for Christmas. I can tell you what she didn't get though: a change of clothes and a clean diaper.

Also, seeya, Goonobyl, wouldn't want to be ya.

From another thread on there:

The generous Kevin Havens posted:

I got my mother a Betty Boop pajama set.

I got my brother Will a pair of jeans and a pack of socks. He needed them more than a video game.

I got my sister Justina a pair of jeans and a sweater.

I got my fianc�e Kathryn four camisoles in different colors and a Washington Redskins t-shirt.

And, last but definitely not least, I got Daphne a Joe Boxer pajama set. This one is from both me and Kat.

So, I mostly got clothes for everyone this Xmas. It was better than trying to guess which video game for Will for either Xbox360 or PlayStation3 to get, and if he doesn't want it, I would be utterly upset, because if it's not the one he wanted, he loudly explains this disappointment.

On the other hand, Kat got my mother a new coffee pot (the Hamilton Beach BrewStation 10-cup self-serve coffee pot), but the rest was clothes from her.

Will stated that his gifts are going under the tree tomorrow night or sometime around that time tomorrow.

Mom ordered a bit late online, so her gifts are arriving the DAY AFTER Xmas... she should have selected Overnight shipping, but since there's free shipping at Barnes and Noble.com for orders over $25, she selected that shipping speed, which is Standard shipping. (And also one gift [mine] was the only one that would arrive in 2-3 days, while everyone else's was 24-hour shipping. It was a Squeeze combo CD/DVD album. And an import at that.)

Oh, if some of you had read the post about my decision to have Daphne out on Christmas morning with the rest of the family, but Mom shot down that quick, saying that Daphne doesn't need to be with the family on Christmas morning, so Kat and I are going to present Daphne her gift when everyone settles down and are upstairs on Christmas Eve night before giving Daphne her gift. Photos would be posted on my Doll Album.

/dev/merryxmas25

And in another, he describes how his mannequin Andrea is into ICP... It all makes sense now!

# ? Nov 23, 2008 08:34

TigerMoJo: Mar 11, 2008

Surfingelectrode posted:

Oh, god this is too much.

He sounds like a 10 yr old brat or something. Jeez.

This monster of a post is exactly why I despise Kevin. He is such a selfish little weasel.

He's actually whining about having to take care of Kat. I can't imagine how embarrassing that must have been for her. First of all, it's bad enough she has to have someone's help for that, but then the person who is supposed to love her is throwing a fit about it and saying he doesn't have to because he's not getting paid!

Then, instead of being an adult and enjoying Christmas as a time with family, he's crying about not getting gifts and sneaking onto his mother's account to see if she even got him anything. That is not what Christmas is about in any way. He then goes to his room and cries like a little girl and makes out with a loving plastic object.

Kevin's brother is dead on in all of this. Kevin should be locked up in a loony bin already.

TigerMoJo fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 09:16

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

"Kevin "Ladies man" Havens posted:

He also told me that he would turn around if he found a doll in some guy's living room and get back in his car and go home, and that is the reason why he said that no one would visit anymore. (Well, mostly him, because all his friends are alpha males with lost and forgotten imaginations.)

This is the best part right here, "No, the reason no one comes over is because they dont have any imagination to see the yellow plastic thing COULD be real! HAVE YOU READ MY BOOK YET!?". Hey Vips, I know you'll still be reading this, desperate to post, fuming and sputtering so could you ask Kevin if he wants his Audiobook published too? Thanks man.

And thanks Ozma, "I'LL BE TROLLING YA'LL IN A MONTH HAHA" was getting mighty old. Just saying "I am trolling you" isnt trolling Vips.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 11:52

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Nemesis Of Moles posted:

And thanks Ozma, "I'LL BE TROLLING YA'LL IN A MONTH HAHA" was getting mighty old. Just saying "I am trolling you" isnt trolling Vips.

The worst thing is that I think he'll see the ban as some kind of victory instead of a sign that he's basically a worthless human being.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 14:12

duffath: May 9, 2007; My name is Legion for we are many.

Let the baby have his gently caress-doll.

At least don't have to deal with him for an undisclosed period of time.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 14:16

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

Robotic T-Rex posted:

The worst thing is that I think he'll see the ban as some kind of victory instead of a sign that he's basically a worthless human being.

Well thats what I said a while ago, but point is, this thread is just for our shits and giggles, if Shit_vips makes a long post about how he "Destoryed the goons so bad they had to ban me!" then we'll get a few laughs out of it, and we wont have to sit and read "I AM TROLLING HAHA TROLL STRIKE BITCHS" every few days.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 14:29

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Nemesis Of Moles posted:

Well thats what I said a while ago, but point is, this thread is just for our shits and giggles, if Shit_vips makes a long post about how he "Destoryed the goons so bad they had to ban me!" then we'll get a few laughs out of it, and we wont have to sit and read "I AM TROLLING HAHA TROLL STRIKE BITCHS" every few days.

Oh no, I completely agree with the ban on the grounds that he's just not funny any more. It just makes me a bit sad to think that he hasn't learned anything at all here.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 15:51

Surfingelectrode: Jan 17, 2006; Yeah, I know it's a drag...
but wastin' pigs is still radical.

TigerMoJo posted:

This monster of a post is exactly why I despise Kevin. He is such a selfish little weasel.

He's actually whining about having to take care of Kat. I can't imagine how embarrassing that must have been for her. First of all, it's bad enough she has to have someone's help for that, but then the person who is supposed to love her is throwing a fit about it and saying he doesn't have to because he's not getting paid!

Then, instead of being an adult and enjoying Christmas as a time with family, he's crying about not getting gifts and sneaking onto his mother's account to see if she even got him anything. That is not what Christmas is about in any way. He then goes to his room and cries like a little girl and makes out with a loving plastic object.

Kevin's brother is dead on in all of this. Kevin should be locked up in a loony bin already.

This is my favorite part:

CasperGhostMAN posted:

I went back into the living room and tried to silently cry. I tried to call Kat into the living room to talk to me, but Will told her bluntly not to fall for my "little tricks." He then offered Kat to go outside to "cool off" (and yes, she was hot), but I believe that he took that opportunity to yell at me some more. After he felt that he had enough of making me miserable for the next few days, he proclaimed that he was going upstairs. But then he came down about ten or fifteen minutes later after Mom tried to tell him to drop the subject.

I just cannot imagine a 28 year old beetfaced man with asperger's crying because his brother insulted his dolly. I really can't... it's just so ridiculous.

And I like how Kevin states that his brother is trying to insult him by asking Kat if she wants to go outside because she's hot. :argh:

:argh:

Someone should send his brother a message on myspace...

# ? Nov 23, 2008 17:48

Zappatista: Oct 28, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

This may be a stupid question, but does Kevin really have Aspergers? Or is he 'self-diagnosed'??

# ? Nov 23, 2008 17:55

Gene Hackman Fan: Dec 27, 2002; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Zappatista posted:

This may be a stupid question, but does Kevin really have Aspergers? Or is he 'self-diagnosed'??

Self-diagnosed. From the first thread:

quote:

And finally, when I was �high� on something I smoked back when I wrote the thing on brain disorders well, I was lucky to find something on Asperger�s Syndrome� on my birthday when I got a Sunday newspaper. When I saw the �symptoms,� I instantly related to each and every one of them that was listed, when I was a child and when I am an adult now. I told Mr. Huddle this afternoon when I saw him.

Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 18:21

Apology: Nov 12, 2005; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Surfingelectrode posted:

From another thread on there:

And in another, he describes how his mannequin Andrea is into ICP... It all makes sense now!

I feel better knowing that Kat got more gifts from her boyfriend than the doll did... :unsmith:

:unsmith:

# ? Nov 23, 2008 18:51

Surfingelectrode: Jan 17, 2006; Yeah, I know it's a drag...
but wastin' pigs is still radical.

Not nearly as good as the Christmas story, but...

Kevin Havens, lover, polygamist posted:

Like with Daphne, and Alexa before her, I had tried to create a personality of a doll that I am getting, and Andrea is no exception.

However, since I am relying on my Squeeze band member naming convention, like Alexa's last name was Tilbrook from Glenn Tilbrook, Daphne's is Holland from Jools Holland, and now Andrea's is Difford from Chris Difford, so that instant qualifies as cousins in my way of thinking. Just Alexa died before I knew about both Daphne and Andrea.

So, Andrea may be the usual computer geek, and she is also a Linux user, but she's been with the Ubuntu project since Edgy Eft (6.10). She got tired of constant Blue Screens of Death in her Windows installation, so a quick nuke of the NTFS partition (and the recovery partition, because she bought an HP Pavilion that had Windows XP preinstalled, which was FAT32), combined both partitions into one singular partition as a FAT32 drive, then inserted her Ubuntu Edgy Eft LiveCD/Install CD into her drive, then turned it into a ext3fs hard drive, a 120 gigabyte one at that... with Ubuntu. She pays some attention toward the Debian Project, because when she realized that Ubuntu was basically Debian in a better form, and any doll that likes Debian, I like also. She now uses Ubuntu Gutsy Gibbon (7.10, the same version I'm using on my Dell Inspiron notebook).

Even though that she shares the same surname as one of the frontmen of Squeeze, but that doesn't mean that she exclusively listens to Squeeze. She mostly likes Insane Clown Posse and tries to claim that she's a Juggalette. Even though that she doesn't dress like a Juggalo. But she secretly likes "Weird Al" Yankovic and listens to some country, which her favorite country songs are Brad Paisley's "Online" and Kenny Chesney's "Shiftwork" and "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems". (No wonder why I have been seeing ICP songs in my Music folder!)

Oh, and she's basically college-aged, so Goldman, look out for her potential application to Sexy U! Even though, she'd rather attend Virginia Tech or the University of Missouri, but she's not counting Sexy U out yet. (OK, In my weighted age and assumed maturity to physical looks test, Andrea has been weighted out to be 20 years old. So, that should make her at least a Junior in undergraduate studies. That test I like to keep a secret for now, and I fully don't have the bugs worked out. I'll release it under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike [CC BY-SA] license or some other copyleft license like the GNU Free Documentation License [GFDL] when I have it in some releasable form.)

But don't be expecting Andrea on MySpace or any other social networking site. She'd rather be cranking out HTML, PHP, MySQL and other Web code for her own webpage instead of trying to be hit on by other MySpace users.

Her favorite iPod? It has to be the Second Generation nano, in the color PRODUCT(RED). Since she found out that Ubuntu has an African origin in the name, she would like to support the cause of preventing HIV and other STD's and other issues in Africa, even if the cost of a PRODUCT(RED) iPod nano is $150, and only $10 of the purchase goes to support the cause. That's ten bucks that could help further research. And she already has the deb gtkpod-aac installed to put tunes on her iPod. She wants the iPod touch because she hates the exclusivity agreements with AT&T and Apple for the iPhone, so this should be the next closest thing, and for a mobile phone, she already has a simple Motorola flip phone (not the MOTORAZR, though--I have one, though) through Alltel. But she's unsure if gtkpod-aac supports the iPod touch yet because the version of GTKPod that's in Gutsy only supports up to the 80GB iPod video. (Fifth or Sixth generations of iPods in general.) And since Apple can change specs of their products at any time (supposedly to keep them closed), the authors of GTKPod has to reverse-engineer the new iPods, and they don't have R&D departments to buy a new iPod whenever it comes out to test it, so they have to rely on the public to give the author(s) one of the new generation's iPods through sometimes anonymous donations. And that's why it seems like open-source hacks to get newer products that should only be used on either Macs or Windows boxes to work in free operating systems such as Linux take forever and maybe shoddy support at first because not everyone in the FLOSS world knows every nuance in new products that someone at say, Microsoft or Apple or whatever knows and keeps in tight proprietary secret. Oh, did I mention that Andrea and Daphne support the Electronic Frontier Foundation to dismantle DRM? That's why I have been hearing Daphne say that the Microsoft Zune sucks, because it's "Defective by Design." And since the Zune has an encrypted file system, no open source tool has been able to fully read the Zune yet. Some are trying, but that's why the Zune only works with Windows XPSP2 and Vista only for now. Both Andrea and Daphne doesn't mind the iPod, because they know that with some know-how, you can install a Linux distribution on one, and since protected MPEG-4 AAC files are still Defective by Design, but they know that the file system of an iPod isn't encrypted in any way and any iPod, whether formatted for Mac OS X HFS+ or Windows FAT32, can be read in Linux. (I'm not even going to bold this entire wall of text)

OK, I've been rambling Babylon and On (NOTE: that's a Squeeze album... how cute!) for a while, but I'd thought that I'd provide a quick intro into what Andrea is like, even though I don't have her yet.

Ghostman out.

EDIT: Christ, even back in August of this year he was STILL dwelling on Christmas!

Kevin Havens, spoiled brat posted:

My mother (glad I'm not with her anymore) had berated me when I lived with her and I got myself something nice and then got them, with Kat, some nice gifts for Christmas 2007 and they either got returned or given away, and the rest of my family didn't get me and Kat no gifts that day, but with empty promises that there would be gifts, but to be patient, they're on their way. When no gifts arrived via any carrier, Kat and I were upset by Twelfth Night. They even got on my case for getting Daphne something for Christmas!

Surfingelectrode fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 19:00

Gene Hackman Fan: Dec 27, 2002; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Apology posted:

I feel better knowing that Kat got more gifts from her boyfriend than the doll did...

see now, bawls is great because it counts as six gifts in one convenient package!

# ? Nov 23, 2008 19:06

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

See and now after that huge spergin' post, I'm back to imagining Kevin, Doll in computer chair, grabbing the dolls hands and just smashing the hell out of the keyboard with them, mumbling "yes you love this ubuntu release i mean look at its customization and options that are possible with this edition dont you you sexy little clown rapper"

# ? Nov 23, 2008 19:21

Deacon Blues: Aug 8, 2007; by I Ozma Myself

My God. Kevin is a horrible, horrible person. For a moment I started thinking that if his mother had spent a little more time spanking him rather than just berating him he might have had a chance at life. Then I remembered that it's Kevin.

Pity Jimmy just couldn't come up with something new. Now he'll have to spend another ten bucks to continue pwning us.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 20:18

Debbie Metallica: Jun 7, 2001

Deacon Blues posted:

My God. Kevin is a horrible, horrible person. For a moment I started thinking that if his mother had spent a little more time spanking him rather than just berating him he might have had a chance at life. Then I remembered that it's Kevin.

He's clearly fighting some mental issues and I wonder if, based on the way he writes, where he might rate on the autism spectrum.

It reminds me somewhat of my autistic brother because my brother is perfectly capable of launching into excessive detail. The difference, however, is that my parents were good parents who cared for him and socialized him and made sure he stayed on medication so my brother can actually handle a social situation without resorting to cuddling with dolls, and he can control what he talks about so he doesn't spend paragraph after paragraph describing in minute detail the personalities of an inanimate object and/or the way in which he spends a mere hour of his day.

So to an extent I feel for Kevin since he's facing an uphill battle but it's difficult to forgive someone for the way that they treat a partner. Kat's probably equally hosed up but no one deserves to be cared for by someone like him.

And the most amusing part of banning viper is the prospect that he'll think he's intimidated us to the point of being banned when in reality it was just tedious to have him come in with weak little flames, say "BACK IN A MONTH" and then return in a couple days when he was desperate for some dialogue.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 20:26

Lowen SoDium: Jun 5, 2003; Highen Fiber; Clapping Larry

Ozma posted:

And the most amusing part of banning viper is the prospect that he'll think he's intimidated us to the point of being banned when in reality it was just tedious to have him come in with weak little flames, say "BACK IN A MONTH" and then return in a couple days when he was desperate for some dialogue.

It was different when it was Dave as he was actually kind of entertaining, but Viper isn't in the least. He just comes in and spouts a lot of retarded poo poo that can be best summed up as "I know you are, but what am I?" and does the whole "back in a month" thing you mentioned.

If you don't want to ban him, can you at least probate him for a month every time he says that he is going to leave for that long? I mean, we ban people when they say they are leaving SA and never coming back, or at least we used too.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 20:35

J. P. Beagley: Apr 11, 2008

Surfingelectrode posted:

Kevin's Christmas Tale

Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

# ? Nov 23, 2008 20:50

Caligasti: May 19, 2007; Do you like apples? How about dem apples? They're forbidden. Shhhhh.

Deacon Blues" posted:

Pity Jimmy just couldn't come up with something new. Now he'll have to spend another ten bucks to continue pwning us.

Recall that it was Dave's money he lost.

Hmmm... I could have sworn that Kevin's sister's name was Jessica. I suppose she uses "Jess" as short for "Justine", then. She must have been the one who infected him with ICP. There are pics of her in full clown make-up... I wonder if there are any of Kevin. Or for that matter, Kevin and his dolls made-up ready to go chicken huntin'.

I have to point this out. It wasn't bolded, but of interest...

Medium-rare Spergburger posted:

(OK, In my weighted age and assumed maturity to physical looks test, Andrea has been weighted out to be 20 years old. So, that should make her at least a Junior in undergraduate studies. That test I like to keep a secret for now, and I fully don't have the bugs worked out. I'll release it under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike [CC BY-SA] license or some other copyleft license like the GNU Free Documentation License [GFDL] when I have it in some releasable form.)

He's invented a loving age/maturity scale... for fuckdolls... one he intends to publish... :psyduck:

:psyduck:

!

It slays me enough that he was honestly trying to get his TJTL fully published, even if only in a rather limited way. Electrode, did you find anything more about how that progressed? I'm guessing that either Kevin eventually got distracted or the publisher actually got around to really reading what it was that Kevin had sent them.

And those Christmas tales! I hope his brother comes across this thread and dishes on Kevin. That would be almost too damned good. I wonder how many stories Will has regarding Kevin mistreating and neglecting Kat. Quite a few, I would gather :smith:

:smith:

.

Magic Bob posted:

Goonobyl, why didn't you take up Caligasti's helldump challenge? Too chickenshit?

He's a paranoid little chicken poo poo who thinks he has my name and address but refuses to believe me when I tell him that he doesn't.

Apology posted:

Did anyone actually spend any money to find Pit Viper? I don't remember that part of the thread. I just remember all the rewards offered on the Doll Forums for Caligasti's information which they apparently did not get.

Nope. None of us be they myself, TigerMojo, Deacon Blues, anybody, to the absolute best of my knowledge spent one plugged nickel to track down Shit_Viper. This thread could easily be used as a course in free internet detectiving. He left trails, we followed them.

They absolutely did not get the information they were looking for. I can't say for sure if they paid or not, but Dave did go through the trouble of finally disclosing just what he has. Regardless, whoever investigated is mind-numbingly incompetent. I can state that the person who's name, address, phone number, email addresss, and IP address he believes to be mine and has distributed to not only James S. Williams but to others including myself is most certainly NOT me. Wrong name to the point that hardly any letters are shared between their name and my own. Wrong side of town indicated, and for that matter not even a residential address, let alone where I work. Not to mention that just about any public records currently available would list me at a different address than where I currently reside. Wrong phone number, and I can tell Dave and Jim that they can go ahead and call that number and the "correct" person may well answer since it is indeed a cell phone. No need to worry about their parents or roommates answering. Wrong email, and definitely wrong IP.

Apology posted:

Also, BofA won't get rid of him for being a dollfucker; that's too much trouble and they wouldn't want any potential legal hassles, even if they'd win. They'll just tell him they have to downsize due to the terrible, terrible economy, so sorry, better luck next time getting a job somewhere else in the banking industry during the bailout when everybody's cutting jobs. That's the way big corporations get rid of people they just don't like---nobody can sue for losing their job during a downsizing, it's just a fact of life.

That, or if it turns out he actually does work as an Agent-troll, he could be let go for being reckless and being poor at his job since he got stunningly and embarassingly counter-trolled, and giving his company, himself, and his profession very bad names.

Caligasti fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:01

Cha: Dec 10, 2006

Lowen SoDium posted:

It was different when it was Dave as he was actually kind of entertaining, but Viper isn't in the least. He just comes in and spouts a lot of retarded poo poo that can be best summed up as "I know you are, but what am I?" and does the whole "back in a month" thing you mentioned.

If you don't want to ban him, can you at least probate him for a month every time he says that he is going to leave for that long? I mean, we ban people when they say they are leaving SA and never coming back, or at least we used too.

She already banned him, which is for the best. I honestly don't see any reason to unban him. If he wants to come back and spout off some more ineffectual bullshit, he can take ten dollars away from his savings toward his next doll to reregister. He broke a lot of rules here, but he wasn't banned because he was at least mildly amusing. Why keep him around when he's not even that anymore?

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:04

SolanaSkyes: May 29, 2005; Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.

Someone get this juggalo bitch in here!

Awesome, it looks like we might have hit some sort of trifecta judging from the pics on her Myspace page.

Juggalo? Check.

Furry? Check.

PLUSHIE? Check.

Edit: We also have our first look at who spawned these pitiful wastes of oxygen! May I introduce KEVIN'S MOTHER....

Another pic of her hugging a retard in Justina's "Field Trip" album:

SolanaSkyes fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:06

Cha: Dec 10, 2006

SolanaSkyes posted:

Someone get this juggalo bitch in here!

Awesome, it looks like we might have hit some sort of trifecta judging from the pics on her Myspace page.

I don't think it can be called just a trifecta.

Fat-girl Phoenix Wright cosplay? Oh yes.

Rocky Horror Picture show fangirl? Of course.

BONUS ROUND:

"My desktop that I highly live by"

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:15

Caligasti: May 19, 2007; Do you like apples? How about dem apples? They're forbidden. Shhhhh.

If I recall their mother used to be a Special Ed teacher and is now some sort of counsellor for those with special needs. It likely tears at her to see how Kevin turned out. On the other hand, she probably has many ways she can blame herself for his turning out the way he did.

Don't forget his sister's DA: http://violentjess.deviantart.com/

Kevin's is still up, too. Wow. http://casperghostboy.deviantart.com/

Caligasti fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:22

Caligasti: May 19, 2007; Do you like apples? How about dem apples? They're forbidden. Shhhhh.

More of Dave's new "Boy Toy"! "Her" name is Gabrielle. :gonk:

:gonk:

!

Midiman's BoyToy Arrives

"Can't touch this!" posted:

Click here for the full 800x478 image.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 21:37

Lowen SoDium: Jun 5, 2003; Highen Fiber; Clapping Larry

^^^^ I wonder if PETA would have anything to say about rubbing a sex toy on a dog and taking pictures of it?

Cha posted:

She already banned him, which is for the best. I honestly don't see any reason to unban him. If he wants to come back and spout off some more ineffectual bullshit, he can take ten dollars away from his savings toward his next doll to reregister. He broke a lot of rules here, but he wasn't banned because he was at least mildly amusing. Why keep him around when he's not even that anymore?

Oh, I missed that.

Yeah, no reason to unban him.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:10

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

Cha posted:

Fat-girl Phoenix Wright cosplay? Oh yes.

hahahahahaha

Oh holy poo poo look at that picture hahaha

Also I like how the dog in the picture is curled up in a ball and looks sad as all hell.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:12

Caligasti: May 19, 2007; Do you like apples? How about dem apples? They're forbidden. Shhhhh.

Another journalist trying to infilta=rate the ranks of the dollfuckers...

:nws:

:nws:

Story on real dolls owners :nws:

:nws:

annev posted:

Hello,
I am a French journalist based in California working on a story on people who have long term relationships with their dolls and treat them like real persons. The story was inspired by the movie "Lars and the Real Girl". I would like to identify people in the Western part of the United States who would be willing to share their stories in the coming days. Thanks in advance.
Anne

After the better part of a page amounting to " :cry:

:cry:

! TROLL!!!"...

Everhard posted:

As the individual on whom the Lars character is based (see that topic in the Realdoll forum) I would volunteer except I don't live in the USA, west or east.

I do treat my dolls like real people--to a limited extent. As Lars actor Ryan Gosling implies in at least one interview, I never grew out of my teddy bears. Maybe there is a genuine line of research looking to be explored there. That is, assuming that other French journalist (the one with the doctorate in psychology) has not explored it already. I refer of course to Elizabeth Alexandre's book Des poup�es et des hommes, enqu�te sur l'amour artificiel:

[Pic of that English guy and one of his dolls]

Picture
(It is in French, so I am unable to read it.)

And, yes, they are my sex slaves.

And guess what? Dave chips in his endorsement as the honorary Dollfucker Public Relations Commissioner...

"! Shut up, Scott!" posted:

Everhard wrote:
As the individual on whom the Lars character is based (see that topic in the Realdoll forum) I would volunteer except I don't live in the USA, west or east.

I do treat my dolls like real people--to a limited extent. As Lars actor Ryan Gosling implies in at least one interview, I never grew out of my teddy bears.

Everhard...YOU are not delusional...Lars was. You are about as normal as anyone I've met. We all have our idiosyncrasies, and I believe they delved on one of yours just so you didn't look normal. However they portrayed you, you talked with logic and they can't change that.

I want people to know that Anne is indeed a legitimate journalist and non judgmental. I spent more than an hour on the phone with her today, and she is very interested in getting the "Real Story", not a sensationalized one.

To this effect I have offered my resources. In particular, if you consider yourself in a different light than Lars, with female companion be it wife or partner, between companions, she would like to talk to you - preferable phone interview. She can give you anonymity as well.

Essentially she could do with her article, what I am trying to do with the documentary and that is to show the diversity.

Besides, she has a great French accent when she speaks.

No Trolls...No lazy journalists just trying to grab a story. She is willing to dig for it and to listen.

Anne Vial is Midiman approved http://www.annesenges.com

At least Everhard is able to stand to talk to real people and won't address her through one of his dollies. :rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

Everhard posted:

I have seen only a few clips, mainly from the official trailer, on u-tube. Lars of course differs from me in several respects, not least of which is that none of my girls have just returned from voluntary work in Africa (or whatever it was that Bianca is supposed to have done).

Good luck with the interview Midi. I am sure it will turn out good.

Well, they have returned from a war against Mars using WWII-era armament. :nws:

:nws:

http://rebeccadoll.org/ :nws:

:nws:

I hope Anne realizes that Bianca is just Dave replying again...

"I'm Bianca, not Dave! I swear!" posted:

stacy718 wrote:
Why the desire to put a sensationalistic spin on doll ownership? Why not portray them as the multi faceted pieces of art that they are?

That's never been done before.
x 10

All this would be good, Stacy, if people would reply to direct communications when approached - especially after agreeing to interview.

I have six months of what appear to be ignored emails by a female member of this forum I tried to get involved in my documentary.

A journalist and documentary maker cannot write on the basis of hearsay. They need subjects to interview. first hand.
I have been working for over two years now, researching, making friends here and shooting for a documentary that does much of what you say. It reflects the "SILENT MAJORITY" within our community. It has been a long hard road and as much as I wanted to broaden the demographic , some people just would not contribute, nor did they show any professional courtesy or otherwise in responding to my emails and PM's. This is a problem often encounterd by media people here at TDF and many other closed communities.

For instance, here is an email I received from a popular and talented female member of our doll community. She could have added a wonderful twist to the documentary showing more of the artistic and mainstream side of doll ownership in our male dominated hobby. I spent some time trying to get hold of her initially and finally exchanged several emails with this being the last I received:

April 10, 2008
Hi Dave,
You haven't said anything to upset me! I have been so busy- I haven't enough time in a day to catch up on emails. So do you want me on screen to discuss my doll ownership? I might do it. I have tons to do but will put you on my schedule for late May.

(name withheld)

When the time was drawing near, I dropped an email...then a second...then a third...then a PM or 2 and received no response. Just in case, I reserved an exta day in the area only to end up canceling and heading west to Phoenix a day early. To date - over six months and several more atempts later - I have received no responses to any od my communications. I highly doubt she is too busy to respond because she's been active on the forum.

So what is a journalist to do? They meet the community and tell the story from the perspective of those who come forth. I came forth to Anne as a professional courtesy to share information with her about our community.

Another thing that would be nice to have in the documentary is the recent giving of a RealDoll by one of our members to another member. It shows a great humanitarian gesture but without video or photos one cannot properly tell the stories.

I will say that a lot of kind heartred people did come forth to participate in the documentary (all males, with the exception of females that appeared as wife or GF. All gave good interviews that will make their fellow members proud. I recently edited Mahtek's and he could carry the dopcumentary single handedly. The wisdom he speaks puts him more in the role of Lars' psychiatrist than Lars. It all "Just makes sense".

However, not through lack of effort, I did not manage to land an interview with even one of the three females I approached - two being for legitimate reasons.

So Doll Chronicles will not be sensationalizing anything.Without that, there is a lot of work to make the story interesting. Peopl don't go flocking to an intersection to watch traffic flowing smoothly, they go to see the wreckage and the carnage That seems to be human nature. People just don't like to watch (or read) flat lines. You need emotion, conflict, comedy, weirdness, controversy or a combination of these to keep the flow and hold your viewer or reader. Some get lazy and just sensationalize for the quick buck. I am not lazy, nor do I think Anne is lazy. I believe she would rather have a true story that shows her journalistic skills !

She even approached Kharn at CoverDoll for interview. I think she is a journalist that does her homework and is prepared to change direction if teh evidence does not support what she may have perceived as the sterotypical doll owner.

Cheers,
Midiman

_________________
xxxooo
Bianca

:doh:

! Well, there ya go!

It goes on and on with Dave insisting "The media aren't bad!" and Shit_Viper backing Dave up, calling the other's paranoid, and a little bit of a bitchfight between Shit_Viper and Debra erupts again.

Shit_Viper posted:

technoguy wrote:

As you can see, we tend to be a bit suspicious of people, especially journalists, who just pop up wanting to know people's inner feelings about their dolls and their living arrangements with them.

I tend to call it paranoid.

Folks, remember the last journalist that popped in here? Only 4 people took part in the interview and the thread read like she was a troll and the article turned out to be legit. Sad really.

Ahhhh... memories. That was fun!

Debra posted:

Don't call people here paranoid, and further more pv the media gave themselves a bad reputation, NOT the folks.

:tinfoil:

"We're NOT paranoid! The media really IS out to get us!"

" I shoot when ya least expect!" posted:

Meh whatever. I personally don't give a rats rear end as to how the community rises to the media one way or the other now. I'm just it telling like it is.

You all want to "burn of media" off the cuff, be my guest.

"I'm in the media! Stop calling me evil!" posted:

Debra wrote:
Don't call people here paranoid, and further more pv the media gave themselves a bad reputation, NOT the folks.

Are all Arabs bad, or all blacks or all Americans or Chinese?

The media is vast. There are good an bad in every group.

I think PV is indeed correct on his description. A lot of distrust of the media is apparent here at TDF. And distrust leads to paranoia and that leads to inappropriate hostility.

When a stranger rides into town is it necessary to immediately become hostile towards them and make them feel unwelcome?

I think the more appropriate approach would be to ask for credentials and enter into a responsible discussion as to exactly what it is they seek and perhaps help to steer them in a more appropriate direction if what they seek is a misguided perception of the community they are visiting.

If one has something concrete to ask or say then do it. Otherwise the polite thing would simply be to not respond in the thread.

Cheers,
Midiman

Debra posted:

The media needs to stop burning the people, in all areas of society, this is why the vast majority in America today say they don't even believe what comes out of the main stream media.

So yes I agree it makes more difficult for the rare and less agenda driven journalist to earn our trust. But again guys, it is still not or fault, and should not be made to sound like it is.

Anyway, back to more of Dave's epic posts...

"We MUST be exposed!" posted:

Bill wrote:
I prefer to be left alone to enjoy doll ownership and don't feel any responsibility to tell my story to any journalist. It never seems to end and a year doesn't go by that we don't see this same topic.

Bill, I respect your right to privacy, BUT although you don't feel any responsibility to tell your story, you assumed a moral responsibility when you created a public forum that has grown by thousands. Telling the TDF story is important for promoting our community and indeed gaining strength and numbers.

Quote:
Elena Dorfman ....the story to end all stories but it didn't. Why this need for acceptance.....we are so few in number.

This IS a growing community. I've seen the forum membership double since I've been here. The increased interest by media is a sign that public interest is on the increase. Elenat Dorfman's rather esoteric book didn't really hit the mark in my opinion. Your "Why this need for acceptance" statement wouldn't wear well with all the minorities that exist in the world. Because we are small we are not deserving and should continue to lead secret lives with our dolls in the closets?

Quote:
I'm a very private person and don't want attention from the outside world. Many here could face job loss or even divorce.

Are you one of the many?

For a very private person, it surprises me you would post revealing photos like these on the internet:
Nothing to see here, just an IRL photo of Bill and his wife!

Your refusal to talk about the creation and history of TDF for a documentary (even anonymously) does puzzle me considering it has little to do with your private life but much to do with promoting understanding of our community.

Although you do the Doll Community a great service by providing this forum, it is my opinion you also do it a disservice by adopting a "no comment - no interview" philosophy when it comes to promoting our community. One sure way to keep owners living in fear of discovery is to do nothing.

So in answer to your question, "Why this need for acceptance?" I will answer, "Because I value my personal freedoms." I do not want owners to live in fear of discovery by a prejudicial or hostile public simply because they have not been sufficiently exposed to the dolls to become tolerant of them.

Every time a documentary or an article or a movie with the dolls hits the public eye, it becomes more common place. Compare commercials on TV over the last 50 years. We have feminine and sexually related items advertised now that were strictly taboo. As time progresses, so does society. Those cultures that stand still become extinct. Simple as that. Do not confuse 'acceptance' with 'approval' however. People become accepting or tolerant of things they don't necessarily approve of personally. Essentially, when an item becomes common place, people no longer it becomes a non-issue in society.

I function in society the same as anyone else. I have my job, my car, my family, my community service and my dolls. Hiding my doll interest reinforces others' beliefs that I am doing something I feel is wrong. For me, discovery does not put my job at risk, nor affect my community standing nor my friends nor my quality of life.

Therefore, I feel a moral obligation to my fellow community members that do fear discovery by "prejudice and ignorant people or employers". I strive to make doll ownership more mainstream and to create tolerance so that members don't have to live "in the closet'. I am proud of my hobby. It is peaceful, non-violent, and meditative as well as provides social contact with others of similar interest. I hope that through the my and others' efforts one day all doll owners can feel proud about their hobby publicly rather fear discovery or be ashamed of it.

Quote:
I also feel that everyone has the right to tell their story if they wish.

On this, we totally agree

Again, Bill, although we have differing opinions I respect all you've done for the community and even more so respect your allowing candid discussions like these without action on emotion. To that effect YOU would probably make a good journalist

Cheers,
Dave Hockey aka Midiman and Bianca

"I gots a dicshunairy!" posted:

Debra wrote:
Midi I don't believe anyone here is paranoid of the media, Turned off and distrustful, yes. The media is responsible for their own image.

So yes I agree it makes more difficult for the rare and less agenda driven journalist to earn our trust. But again guys, it is still not or fault, and should not be made to sound like it is.

Ok, let's see now...hmmm..

Paranoia ▸ noun: a psychological disorder characterized by delusions of persecution or grandeur

I suppose it may be a little strong, although the attacks on doll owners by a number of Troll groups would tend to put the kabosh to the 'delusion' part of the definition.

OK, let's check Distrustful ▸ adjective: having doubt about someone's honesty ("A man of distrustful nature")
▸ adjective: not disposed or willing to believe; unbelieving by virtue of distrust

OK, I believe you are correct. Distrustful is more appropriate.

That said, your grouping ALL the media on the basis of a few reporters is unfair.

As a media professional myself I take offense to being stereotyped on the basis of the actions of others in my community. In doing so you are in fact demonstrating the same behavior as the reporters you chastise. For instance, reporters that portrayed the Doll community based on a few individuals that represented a minority rather than majority of doll owners.
For the same reason you would not like to be stereotyped as Lars, it is indeed not fair to label the entire media community on the actions of a tiny sampling.

Erin O'Brien for instance despite being virtually assaulted and totally frustrated, had the journalistic integrity to write a very accurate and non-judgmental article. There were no lies and no twisted truths. She did have her own personal point of view on the subject, but the article was not slanted that way.

My documentary, portrays the community in a non-judgmental way without sensationalizing the fringe owners or creating lies of omission or fabrications. Of course whereas it has not yet been released, I am sure there is probably some skepticism, however, I do not believe that those who met me doubt my sincerity.

I also do not doubt Anne Vial's integrity as a journalist. I do not believe she will twist or fabricate or reveal identities without permission. But her story can only be told with the data she collects and that data has to come from our community.

I always make it a point of recording my phone interviews. Anne was recording on her end as well. Pulling a Midi I had left the stop on silence option clicked and got nothing after the first sentence.

I contacted Anne by email and just now received a copy of her recording for my records. I would say that move alone has demonstrated a considerable amount of professionalism and integrity.

So I would suggest that those who want to share their stories, especially married and owners with partners that know about the dolls), simply get in contact with her and not turn this thread into another courtroom like the others.

As to not being OUR fault? There is much that can be disputed as we also paint our own picture. But acting with aggression is indeed OUR fault. There is no excused to be impolite and inhospitable before even giving a media person a chance to discuss their credentials.

But sure, I can say "It was not my fault I shot that guy entering my yard last night. I thought he might have been a prowler because of the recent crime increase on our street. How was I to know he was an undercover policeman ?"

Do you suppose the police would agree with me?

Midiman

"Pulling a Midi"? Shit_Viper's gonna be furious you just ripped-off Homer Simpson there, Dave! He can tell you that you "Pulled a Homer", can't you, Jimmy?

More talk of HBO from Dave...

" I'm still gonna say 'Pulled a Midi'!" posted:

zazakell wrote:
I've got news for you midiman; that's not Bill. It's a British actor called David Jason.

He starred in a long running and prize winning TV sitcom called "Only Fools and Horses". He went under the name of Dell Boy in the series.

Ask any Brit who the photo of the guy standing next to Charlton Heston is?

Wow, that's quite amazing. I tend to be a trustin soul and take people at face value. So are you calling Bill a liar or accusing him of a fraudulent post?

Sorry Zaz. I'll believe it if I hear it from Bill other than that I expect he just resembles the actor - not that it really matters.

BTW, Am I no longer 'personna non grata' for bringing your rule 3 violation to your attention so you could fix or remove it before the admins did? Or are you just taking this opportunity to put poor ole' Midiman in his place LOL

Stacy718 wrote:
How despicable is it, if this Anne is reading all of these responses and not replying?
She really ought to chime in here... how serious can she be?

On this I would agree..."Had she been directly addressed. Perhaps if someone addressed a post, an email or a PM to ANNE I am certain she will respond as she has already exchanged numerous emails with me.

On the other hand, the problems I referred to above were attempts at direct contact with the individual that appear to have been ignored.

Stacy718 wrote:
HBO's "Real Sex" just contacted me with almost the exact same result as you. Because I am not having sex with and talking to my dolls, like Lars- or generally delusional believing that they're real....they won't use me.

I was saddened by that. I expect a lot more from HBO.

so disappointed...

Stacy, I would jump at the chance to have you in the Doll Chronicles. I've been working VERY hard to address the problems you and Zazakell refer to and I know I will be painting a very positive and different picture - one doll owners can be proud of. As a matter of fact, Mahrek has aklready seen a rough edit o fhis interview and seemed extremely pleased. I promised interviewees I would give them a chance to see the material I was going to use and if there were something that didn't wear well, I would change it.

As a matter of fact, Stacy, you could interview when you are in Vegas, doing your thing. I could get some great video of you photographing dolls and other good B-Roll to go with. And who knows, this might even be airing on HBO

I'd like to use you to, Zaz but you are unfortunately a little to far away, albeit a phone interview might work. I WANT normal people - that's why I rescued Bianca from Lars

Cheers everyone.
Sorry, I did not want to stir up a hornets nest, but I do enjoy seeing people exercise their thought process

Davae Hockey aka Midiman

So ar yoo gon to beh ahn HBO fer reels, Davae?

Caligasti fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:24

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

"I WANT REAL PEOPLE NONE OF YOU PHYSCHOS THAT WHY I RESCUED THE DOLL FROM THE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE"

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:33

Magnoavipes: Jul 20, 2006; No, not that big bird foot.

Caligasti posted:

More of Dave's new "Boy Toy"! "Her" name is Gabrielle. !

Midiman's BoyToy Arrives

:gonk:

That poor dog, it looks so completely distressed.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:41

Deacon Blues: Aug 8, 2007; by I Ozma Myself

drat, Hockey is one slimey schyster of a person. He probably thinks he's being slick. He's greasier than a caricature of a greasy used car salesman.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:44

Caligasti: May 19, 2007; Do you like apples? How about dem apples? They're forbidden. Shhhhh.

Nemesis Of Moles posted:

"I WANT REAL PEOPLE NONE OF YOU PHYSCHOS THAT WHY I RESCUED THE DOLL FROM THE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE"

Yeah. I also like how he trolls his fellow dollfuckers by posting links to their IRL pics and between the lines all but admits to selling the whole "community" out and calls them weak and pathetic for not "coming out" as dollfuckers. Hypocritical much, Dave?

"One of us! One of us! One of Us!"

Anybody here know French well enough to investigate Anne's site? Only the bio is in Englsh.

Caligasti fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Nov 23, 2008

# ? Nov 23, 2008 22:45

GoodbyeKitty: Jun 25, 2004; "I know I'm going away for a while. How long? Who knows.
I know it won't be no fucking 30 years, though."

I don't know what happened to that guy aside from genetic mutations due to imbreeding, but the doll kind of reminds me of the Mobot from The Man with the Screaming Brain.

# ? Nov 23, 2008 23:30

SolanaSkyes: May 29, 2005; Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.

Caligasti posted:

If I recall their mother used to be a Special Ed teacher and is now some sort of counsellor for those with special needs. It likely tears at her to see how Kevin turned out. On the other hand, she probably has many ways she can blame herself for his turning out the way he did.

If that's the case then how can she stand by and watch her Aspie/FAS/dollfucking tard of son abuse and neglect his disabled girlfriend?

# ? Nov 24, 2008 00:02

Deacon Blues: Aug 8, 2007; by I Ozma Myself

Caligasti posted:

Yeah. I also like how he trolls his fellow dollfuckers by posting links to their IRL pics and between the lines all but admits to selling the whole "community" out and calls them weak and pathetic for not "coming out" as dollfuckers. Hypocritical much, Dave?

He's such an rear end in a top hat. It's really no suprise that the truly retarded have chosen to follow his attempts to faction off the dollfuckers.

# ? Nov 24, 2008 00:13

Surfingelectrode: Jan 17, 2006; Yeah, I know it's a drag...
but wastin' pigs is still radical.

Caligasti posted:

It slays me enough that he was honestly trying to get his TJTL fully published, even if only in a rather limited way. Electrode, did you find anything more about how that progressed? I'm guessing that either Kevin eventually got distracted or the publisher actually got around to really reading what it was that Kevin had sent them.

And those Christmas tales! I hope his brother comes across this thread and dishes on Kevin. That would be almost too damned good. I wonder how many stories Will has regarding Kevin mistreating and neglecting Kat. Quite a few, I would gather .

If I'm right, Xilibris is like the Cafepress of books...you can get anything you write published.

Here's some more nuggets from the Kevin Havens vault...

Kevin Havens, mannequin fucker posted:

This past Tuesday, out of desperate hope to own another doll of any type and I knew that I couldn't save up for a silicone doll, so I tried a Web shop called "Studio Rox" (http://www.studiorox.com/)that sells mannequins for a reasonable price.

The customer service is exceptional. In fact, since it is hard to keep updated stock on certain items while running a web store, I accidentally ordered a mannequin that I didn't know that was out of stock. An hour later I got an email from the store telling me that they were sold out of that mannequin and if I would like to change my order to a similarly-priced mannequin or if I desired a refund. Not wanting to ruin my chances of getting a mannequin, I looked over the site again and found a similarly priced model with the same price and shipping cost. The next morning, my dot-Mac email alerted me that the order was changed and would be shipped out that day. The mannequin I got has the model number MD-AC3F. Of course, she has molded hair, but I can put on a wig if I wanted to, but not right now, and it isn't that hard. (Yes, I tried.)

The moment that the mannequin got shipped, I got a "UPS Quantum View" email so I can keep updated on the tracking and the delivery of Andrea. Shipping time only took a total of two days from New York state to Hampton Roads VA.

When the box came home, I had to lug a nearly-thirty-pound box from the front door to underneath the bed for now. I had to wait until everyone went upstairs, leaving me, Kat and Daphne alone with Andrea in the box. I had to raise the bed so I can slip the box underneath it for the time being. After we ate dinner (besides the two dolls), the rest of the family went upstairs and my brother left to go with his friends, I took an opportune time to take Andrea out of the box and assemble her.

The arms were wrapped separately, the upper torso and the legs/hips were also separately wrapped, but the legs/hips had the hands inside the bubble wrap that cushioned the leg/hip assembly from the rest of the package. At first I thought I didn't get a pair of hands, but common sense inside told me to unwrap everything first then see if any parts were missing. (The base and the foot rod/calf rod assemblies were separate also, but in the same box that held the entire package.)

When I put Andrea together, I found out that she's taller than me or Daphne. She's slightly taller than me; she towers over Daphne. I then got her dressed in a Virginia Tech T-shirt and some Joe Boxer pajamas that both are mine until I can get some reasonable clothes for her; and Kat helps me with selection of clothes for both of my dolls. (I've sussed that Andrea is about five-foot-eleven.) Next paycheck, Kat, Daphne and Andrea are going to get some nice clothes from ThinkGeek.com and I'm getting me a case of Bawls. (I get my women something, I gotta get something for myself, right? Wink ) Oh, and Daphne and Andrea are getting some new pants and skorts for springtime.

Right now I feel like my life has been completed, now I can live the rest of my life's destinies the way they come without worrying about getting a doll or two. Pictures will come later, because I'm afraid that every time that I move Andrea, she'll fall down hard and flat on her face, and the stand where I have it right now, the floor is kind of unstable, and just the slightest movement would make her tip over. She did it a couple times before, don't say it wouldn't happen again.

Oh, and before I go, yes, the Mac OS X doll has arrived.

Peace out,

CasperGhostboy/CasperGhostman, Kathryn, Daphne and (for real) Andrea

Kevin Havens, walker posted:

And back to the issue on the motor scooter that I am now desiring, sometimes Kat would want me to go to the 7-Eleven for some nachos and a Big Bite hot dog (and she wants me to go someday soon, but walking), and riding the bus for a short distance is not feasible for just a quick trip to the "Geedunk Central", and since the bus stops running at 5:45 PM, and after that, transportation is on your own. And also, it gets hot and humid around here, and walking to the shopping center for anything is tiring. I walked to the Kentucky Fried Chicken for an 8-piece meal and back one time a couple of weeks ago, and the #1 thing on my mind after getting home was to take a cold shower to cool off. But there would be other times Kat would want me to go out just to give me a little break from the everyday things and let me do things on my own, including a bit of shopping if I'd desire. And since I like to find some bargains at Cash Converters (I bought a PS1 there on the cheap), and since that store's inventory changes almost twice daily, but since it's in an area a distance away, riding the bus is okay, but also Kat would want me to go to the Long John Silver's next door (from the Cash Converters) to get some lunch (or dinner), and it's kind of difficult to carry a large Cash Converters bag (I really shop when I'm in that store) with two seafood dinners in another with a large Mountain Dew (since they serve Pepsi products, and Mountain Dew is the only Pepsi product I will drink, but I may drink Pepsi if two conditions are met: it's the only caffeinated beverage available and it's ice cold, other than that, Mountain Dew for me) in both hands trying to make the stop across the street to go home, and that one time I was encumbered. (I plan to have some sort of basket or something like that for things like this.)

He wants to buy a motor scooter so he can go pick up hot dogs from 7-11 :bravo:

:bravo:

Kevin Havens posted:

Since I know that no DMV or other ID issuing authority will not issue dolls ID cards, no matter how hard you pressure a clerk that it would be in "harmless fun," they would blantantly refuse. They would claim that it would be a waste of my money (In VA, ID cards cost $10) and a waste of their time and resources "just" to make a doll an ID card. So, do what I did and just scan your ID card/Driver's License and modify it heavily like I did. So you can keep most of your ID's graphic integrity, use a blur tool to delete your information but keep background graphics complete. Even though that it seems like VA uses a font similar to Arial/Helvetica, but I just recommend that you use Arial or Helvetica (depending on your OS) if your state's license/ID uses something similar. But don't do the same mistake I did and forget to put a watermark or a string of "VOID" somewhere on the card. Some states are particular about counterfeiting "genuine" licenses/ID cards and will prosecute if something comes up and someone who is a snitch reports the "fake ID" to the authorities, even though it is in just "harmless fun" and your intentions are not cranking out fake IDs for profit. That's why I just keep Daphne's ID card in her pocket. I don't have an ID card printing machine (the motherf***er's about $2000 for a basic model at TigerDirect.com and I don't know if it would work with Linux), so I printed mine on matte photo paper (that I got from Dollar Tree) on an ink jet, trimmed it to size and laminated it with self-laminating sheets that I got from Office Depot.

Which led me to his geocities directory: http://www.geocities.com/casperg1977/tdfpics/

and another picture of Kat:

and Daphne's theme song. Don't know what the song is.

EDIT: Resized his ID card and blurred the address.

Surfingelectrode fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Nov 24, 2008

# ? Nov 24, 2008 03:32

TigerMoJo: Mar 11, 2008

Surfingelectrode posted:

If I'm right, Xilibris is like the Cafepress of books...you can get anything you write published.

Yes. He said he had to pay $500. Literally anyone can self-publish online these days. The publisher doesn't bother to read it or even see it, as long as you have the cash they'll print as many as you can afford. Other sites, print on an order-by-order basis.

quote:

Which led me to his geocities directory: http://www.geocities.com/casperg1977/tdfpics/

Either Geocities is down or he saw this post and took it down.

# ? Nov 24, 2008 04:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:32

Surfingelectrode: Jan 17, 2006; Yeah, I know it's a drag...
but wastin' pigs is still radical.

TigerMoJo posted:

Either Geocities is down or he saw this post and took it down.

I think it's geocities... the link to the ID still works:

http://www.geocities.com/casperg1977/tdfpics/daphneidcardvirginiadmv.jpg

Edit:

From his LastFM:

Kevin Havens, auteur posted:

Certified Al-oholic. 'Tho, I didn't even make the top 10 list on "You Don't Know Al," but I know quite a bit about Weird Al. I even have "UHF" on DVD. I know how to recite the parts from that movie where George Newman (Yankovic) was upset over losing his girlfriend, Teri (Victoria Jackson) and lets loose his anger on "Uncle Nutzy's Clubhouse." I know the dialogue from that. I even know the part where Stanley Spadowski (Michael Richards) goes "HEY!!! THESE FLOORS ARE DIRTY AS HELL AND I AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!" (Cue "Battle Hymn of the Republic".) Tells ya how much I know about Al.

A writer as of this date of profile writing, is going to get published. Some publisher had seen my works (fictional autobiography with surrealistic love story), liked it and asked to get my works published as REAL BOOKS. And after all this time of it lurking on my Web pages...

To put it in the words of Stanley Spadowski, and to close it:
"Life is like a mop."

LastFM
Squeeze, Weird Al, Mindless Self Indulgence, ICP :smith:

:smith:

Cal, if you want to send his brother a link to this thread, here's his [url="https:// http://www.myspace.com/willhavens"]myspace[/url].

Seriously, if anyone gets bored, just go through his Doll Forum posts. It's a literal roller coaster of hilarity and hopelessness.

Surfingelectrode fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Nov 24, 2008

# ? Nov 24, 2008 04:35

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > (NWS) Images from the Road: A Dollfucker's Travellogue

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