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Oh, you... HA. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. gently caress. Running into you on Friday with your groupie/new girlfriend/whatever she is now? Awkward. Finding out that you spent the whole day pissed off at her because she blew you off to hang out with the guy she swore she wasn't still banging when you guys first got together? The same dude that I showed you text conversations between him and I saying that they were, in fact, still banging, and you got pissed off and said we made it up and said I was just jealous? Kind of hilarious. You've treated me horribly due to you having gone retarded over this chick, who's already gone through a handful of your friends. I'm not a vindictive person, but it's going to give me a slight sense of satisfaction knowing you're going to feel like a piece of poo poo when she drops you, and you realize I was right this whole time and was only trying to prevent you from being hurt. Which is apparently inevitable at this point.
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| # ? Feb 14, 2011 16:46 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 09:20 |
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The Letter A posted:I have a friend exactly like this. I have always wished that I could just force him to have some self confidence and he would be fending off the ladies with a stick. But no, at any social event he just starts drinking and drunkenly complaining about how many girls don't show interest in him and how he's a virgin and Wow, he actually sent me a Facebook message apologizing! It's quite possible that his roommate told him to do it, but still. Maybe he is on the road to recovery (nah) (well, maybe)
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| # ? Feb 14, 2011 17:29 |
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Jill, why did you feel you had to lie to Dirk that I didn't want to hang out with you because I was doing Valentine poo poo with my boyfriend when we had the holiday early since he was working most of this week? I had to interrupt Dirk on Skype twice to tell him that I wanted to do stuff with you for Monday and that you said you work right after school so you had to pass. I thought you'd want to hang out what with Dirk being in the States for a bit. Dirk was being snippy as gently caress with me about how I supposedly "don't like you" when I think you are a pretty great person. I don't have many girlfriends and figured that you were pretty nice to socialize with my other interests, and that you seem to suit Dirk so well after the crazy girlfriend he had before. I really hope you have something good to say about that when I bring it up with you tomorrow.
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| # ? Feb 15, 2011 02:09 |
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Raskolnikov posted:Kai, I am sick of your poo poo. STDs shouldn't be the "surprise!" extra the hundreds of stupid LA girls find out about because they were dumb enough to believe your lies. Depending on the disease, this is assault.
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| # ? Feb 15, 2011 04:26 |
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Cobra Dane posted:K, From a while back, but I'm so happy she finally broke it off with hosed up army loser. Probably at home feeling sorry for himself and missing her, rather than standing up for himself like a grownass man. What a little bitch. Bachelor #2 surprise gifted her today with something she'd been needing, and really wants to see her before he goes on a trip this weekend. 
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| # ? Feb 16, 2011 18:17 |
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he has a problem with painkillers
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Seriously dude, back off. You and her finished like what, 4 months a go? Yet you still continue to rain down poo poo on her, making her feel miserable. I've tried to tell her that keeping contact with you was a bad idea but you and I know she's not going to stop because she still loves you, even though you're the biggest loving asshat in existence. Just let her get over you. Some of the things you say to her it seems like you are getting a kick out of making her cry? Who the hell lies to their ex, saying they were with another girl to 'see their reaction', of course she's going to be upset you idiot. You're a dick, Johnny.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2011 00:09 |
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Sister, for fucks sake, sister. You are two years older than I am, grow a loving spine and quit being so neurotic and dependent and lazy all the loving time. You are so smart, and you have an amazing talent when it comes to art. Finish up your loving portfolio so you can go get your master's degree. Also, get some exercise, you're turning into a fatass, which makes you lazier. Also I am not your personal errand girl. I am okay with doing favors for you, I'm really not okay with you asking me for something that you are right loving by. No, I'm not going to hand you your drink. Why? Because I am UPSTAIRS and IN ANOTHER ROOM while you are right by your drink. Seriously, what the gently caress. Quit being so lazy, Your sister C, J is an amazing girl and one of my best friends. You are also one of my best friends. The fact that you two are dating is amazing and wonderful. She's good for you. She's sweet and amazing and six kinds of loving. Yeah, she has her issues but she's working on them and she spends a lot of her time trying to be the best person she can be. You need to shape the gently caress up and start treating her better. That means actually doing something for her on Valentines day and NOT making her pay for dinner. She spent a ton of money on you to make you happy, just because she wanted to. Don't blow her off again. Also, it wasn't cool that you asked her if she wanted a threesome with you and one of her best friends who had just broken up with her boyfriend. What the gently caress, C. That is not even cool. You are a good guy, and you genuinely like to help people, so I wish you'd stop this bullshit and go back to being the amazing friend we all know and love. Lots of love, Nerdy J, You are a wonderful, smart girl and you're one of the best friends I've ever had. I know you've delt with some really lovely stuff in your past, but I really wish that you would start believing in yourself. You're not terrible, people don't hate you and no one thinks you're annoying. Every one of our friends likes your company, and you even make E loosen up. You're a good person, please start believing that. Also, punch C in the nards the next time you have a problem with him. I love that kid dearly, but he can be a bit daft at times. You'll have to be firm with him. We all love you, J. Love love love, Nerdy M and Z, What the gently caress part of "stay out of my room" and "don't touch my stuff" don't you understand? I clean and take care of my own poo poo, and my room is always clean and tidy. Stop going in there, I know you just do it so you can snoop around. You're not "cleaning", you're trying to snoop. Stop that poo poo. Also, when I ask you not to touch me, that means don't loving touch me. It hurts when I am touched. You've had this explained to you many a time. Stop that poo poo. Also, you have a selective memory. I didn't like to be touched when I was a kid, either. and quit screwing Mom over, she doesn't deserve that. Quit being cunts. I wish you'd die already, Nerdy Mom, Quit treating me like I'm five. The more you do that, the harder I work to move out. I love you and I'm not betraying you by moving out. Please cut the cord, thanks. Love, Nerdy That got long, but I feel better now.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2011 07:54 |
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B., 1. I've known you for less than two months. We've hung out alone maybe three times. I have never kissed you. I am not your soulmate, even if we're both planning on studying cognitive science. 2. Stop sending me novel-length texts whining about how I won't pay attention to you even though you're such a nice guy. 3. Misplacing a possession means that the person is careless and deserves to have it taken from them? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me! By the way, you left your philosophy textbook in my car. You know, when you were drunk off your rear end. 4. I've made it clear already that you are too old for me and I am not interested in you as a boyfriend or a gently caress buddy. Not wanting to sleep with you does not mean I'm frigid, it means I have some self-respect. Go bang one of those stupid waitress girls you wouldn't shut up about when we first met. 5. You are also too old to be stealing bicycles or dealing mushrooms. Quit that poo poo and act your age.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2011 22:15 |
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Dear C, Please stop flirting with me and getting angry when I don't return the affection. I said I wouldn't sever contact with you but I have 0 interest in dating someone who willfully sought out child porn and got convicted. Sorry.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2011 05:37 |
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Why are my roommates such an epic clash of lazy and stupid? Here is the train of thought. You are hungry and wish to microwave e-z mac. It appears as though the microwave isn't working for some odd reason. A) Give up B) Call for help C) Troubleshoot problem D) Asses the situation *You have selected B) Call for help* You call for Opossum. Opossum enters. Opossum: "Whats up?" Roommate: "How come the microwave isn't working. I tried pressing fast minute and nothing happened." Opossum: "Are you serious? You called me for this poo poo?" Roommate: "Dude it's broken or something." Opossum: "It's not even lit up. Is it plugged in?" Roommate: "Oh I guess not!" You plug the microwave in. The microwave flashes a few times and prompts user to enter the current time. You look at the package of e-z mac for directions on how to set up the microwave. e-z mac box: Microwave on "high" for one minute and 30 seconds. A) Enter time of the day B) Call for help C) Give up D) Enter one minute and 30 seconds. *You have selected D* You press 1,3,0, enter and nothing happens. As you start to get frustrated, you begin to question weather or not all this bullshit is worth a packet of e-z mac. A) Call for help C) Press buttons in furry A) Give up 2) Begin to think *You have selected C* You mash a bunch of buttons to no positive effect. The microwave goes *beep beep beep beep* as you mash numbers and preset buttons. You think about giving up, but your really high and loving hungry. Eventually the light inside the microwave goes on and the e-z mac begins to rotate SUCCESS!
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| # ? Feb 19, 2011 21:03 |
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Dear roommate, I was quite happy when you offered to rent the extra room to me, since we get along and it saved me the stress of student town room-hunting. You said this apartment was my home now too, but things got sour quick. When you suddenly decided you'd want a second cat and brought that aggressive-noisy fur monster home - have you ever thought of asking me what I thought about it? Also, does your boyfriend have to spend every night and all weekends here? Especially since neither of you makes any effort to speak English when I'm around, or cut down your PDA a little when I'm sitting right next to one of you. You're making me feel like an intruder in a stranger's house, and less like we're roomies, or even friends anymore. I guess...only 4 more months and I'm out of here. Until then, please, PLEASE close your bedroom door when I'm right outside trying to eat dinner. I may have a sound sleep, but I'm not deaf during the day. - your (still) roommate. Edit: Also, stop getting mad and bitch at your bf every time he does not finish his homework on time. He's a big boy. You're not his mother. plasmoduck fucked around with this message at Feb 20, 2011 around 23:43 |
| # ? Feb 20, 2011 23:39 |
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Co-Worker, I want to like you, really I do, but you make it drat hard. It isn't just the age difference which sometimes has me rolling my eyes, I can deal with that, you're very young and I remember being the same way. Still, there are times where I stare at you in utter disbelief then walk away shaking my head. That, though, isn't a problem -- I sort of find it funny. What really irritates me is your sense of entitlement. No, you should not be making more than you are because you don't have the skills to warrant the pay. You are barely proficient at anything beyond using google when it comes to computers and yet you work in an office. And instead of working on that you sit on facebook or IM your boyfriend through gmail! Then the next time you are given a project a drunk monkey could do I find you looking at me waiting until I'm free so you can ask for help. But, no, you're right, they're underpaying you and your vast array of skills. And, please, stop loving talking about Starbucks. I don't care that you were a supervisor, I don't care that you made "more there than I do here". If you miss it so much, feel you're not appreciated or compensated properly, you can walk down the street to one of the 1000's of Starbucks in this city and apply. If you're not going to do that, if all you're going to do is bitch and moan about making well above minimum wage with benefits that will cost you a grand total of $18 a month to have full health care, well, kindly gently caress off. Sincerely, Your co-worker who is tired of you whining. Esmerelda fucked around with this message at Feb 24, 2011 around 16:55 |
| # ? Feb 24, 2011 16:51 |
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Dear Sweaters, Why don't you ever want to go out anywhere with me and my new friends? You were almost friends with them first, except you always refuse to do anything with them when anyone asks. You're becoming something of a stick in the mud, and what's more is that you have a really weird sense of what is and is not embarrassing or lame to your selectively self-conscious self. You'll go to bondage parties with a bunch of people you don't know and a few new friends who kinda seem like they're spergin', but you are too cool to go to a dance club with us for one night. Yes, it's a honky tonk sort of affair and yes I know you don't like country music and are bad at dancing, but I don't and I am too and that's not stopping me from letting loose once in a while. Don't worry so much about making a fool of yourself. This is college, have fun. None of this would bother me much if I didn't know that you keep turning down things without ever having experienced them, either out of apathy or, I don't know, fear of involved social interaction outside of the horde of nerds that worship the ground you walk on. I'm starting to get the feeling that you're immersing yourself in a sea of awkward just to identify yourself as "eclectic". It certainly helps that theory that you won't let me hang out with any of your other friends because you think my Normie delicate sensibilities won't be able to take it. At least, that's the way it feels and definitely the way it comes off. We're nerds too, but we're functional nerds. You know this. Why not give it a try once in a while? I'm not upset with you and it's not really about the dance club, I just think you're cheating yourself with this frame of mind. Ophelia Swims fucked around with this message at Feb 24, 2011 around 22:45 |
| # ? Feb 24, 2011 22:43 |
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Ophelia Swims posted:Dear Sweaters, Don't you think it's a little controlling of you to want to force your friend to do something it sounds like has repeatedly told you he does not want to do? I just think maybe you should take a step back. Maybe instead of being picky about how he chooses to spend his time, he just doesn't have similar interests to you?
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 02:10 |
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I would not want to spend money to go to a club that plays country music. Couldn't you go to a club or bar with a wider appeal? Country bars are pretty niche.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 05:53 |
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vxskud posted:I would not want to spend money to go to a club that plays country music. I would rather go to the country bar with the goon and have a laugh and a good time, rather than go look at some weird fetish poo poo with his mate.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 06:05 |
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vxskud posted:Country bars are pretty niche. You have obviously not been in 90% of America.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 06:46 |
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AJzer posted:You have obviously not been in 90% of America. Nope, I have been shopping in Buffalo NY a few times and that's it.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 08:02 |
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Country bars are the poo poo.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 16:09 |
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We don't even talk anymore but your posts on Facebook really bother me. You're a fat bitch with a pretty face but that's pretty much all you have going for you. I'm 99.9% sure you didn't have a 400lb tombstone fall on you and crush your pelvis because 1) you didn't go to surgery, 2) that was the only thing wrong 3) you were out partying and dancing three night after said accident, even after you said you had "been in a cast from the waist down". Yeah that's complete bullshit. Going blind for a second and having to go to the hospital? Complete bullshit. I understand WHY you have to lie, because you couldn't get attention any other way, except for maybe your horrible boob tattoos and your choice of dress that doesn't fit a person with your body type (round, as in an apple), but god. You even used to have a crush on me and kissed me once and even tried to get me to have sex with you and still to this day send me texts saying "I miss you..." and poo poo like that but please, I'd rather not have anything to do with your fat rear end. gently caress off and die.
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| # ? Feb 25, 2011 20:17 |
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Dear Elizabeth, Please get psychological help. Get therapy or something, you've needed it for forever. For like a year now you have been exhibiting signs of serious depression, and while you don't act like you're super depressed, you most definitely are. Along with that, you expect me to believe that you do not want to socialize with any of your friends because you think that they're all going to forget you -- and while I believe it's something you say just so you can sit on your boyfriend's arm all the time, I'll bite because I know how upsetting little things like that can be to you. But now you're telling me that you're having intermittent nightmares that are preventing you from getting sleep on a regular basis, and I remember you telling me the same thing months ago before we stopped talking. Please go to a therapist and seek out some help instead of insisting that you can deal with it. You already act stressed out as is. That said, I was extremely ecstatic when you decided to give a mature and honest attempt at reconciling a dead friendship, but I can't see anything coming from it if you won't even show up anywhere I will because you have "too much homework". All your friends with your same classes are there and have the same homework you do, and they make time to have fun. You're just being depressing. Even when you do show up to those parties, you only do it if your loving boyfriend D is there for you to sit next to and not say a word, and it makes you a horrible person to hang out with. You won't say more than two words until the guy leaves the room, which is really unhealthy and somewhat unsettling. I think everyone in our circle of friends misses the cool A that was actually fun to talk to, had a nice sense of humor, and while being really shy still managed to be sociable and friendly once she opened up. You are actually a pretty cool person to be around when you start talking, and I don't think everyone realizes that, especially not you. I don't know what happened to you in the last year or so, but you've got some serious issues, and you need to get help. I'm really worried about what's going to happen to you if you go off to college next year and this is the way you act towards everyone. You won't ever talk to anyone at this rate. FailPirate fucked around with this message at Apr 25, 2011 around 19:28 |
| # ? Feb 25, 2011 21:57 |
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G, what the hell man? You are really hosed up. You're no longer talking to me or J or (it appears) any other of our friends because your girlfriend thinks we're all a "bad influence" on your relationship? And you're fine with this? Your girlfriend wants you to bring home one thousand dollars a week (after tax!) so she can work two days a week and you two can move out together? And you're fine with this? I don't know how you're going to do that without a degree, dude, sorry, especially with the way the job market is. It's nice to see you hold my friendship in such low esteem, dude! It's even nicer seeing a message on Facebook from your girlfriend and you to ask me to travel two hours to come and help set up for your 21st party. So, what, I'm not good enough to talk to but good enough to be a laborer? Do you expect me to be fine with this? Man up. Grow up. Fix your goddamn life. Hint: we wouldn't be giving you so much poo poo about your girlfriend if she was a decent person. She's not and what's bizarre about the whole thing is that - you even admit this, that she cheats on you, that you hate her doing that, that you wish she would end it. Hell, I think J mentioned that you said something about suicide? You work three jobs. J had to buy you lunch back when I posted that last message. Cut out the constant drinking, you miserable alcoholic, and then maybe you can start getting somewhere. But I think you prefer to feel sorry for yourself and get our sympathy while moaning about your terrible girlfriend and your six-year long relationship with her. I'm pretty sure we've all given up on helping you, dude, not that it matters - you won't even talk to anyone anyways. Sure, we'll probably come to your 21st, but it'll be to see each other - and to no doubt see some fantastic drama from you and her.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2011 07:17 |
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Hey Mom, You need therapy. You probably should have stuck with seeing a psychologist ever since you were committed to the hospital for being suicidal 14 years ago. Yes, I understand you had a hard life growing up but things got good once you and dad got together, didn't it? But instead, you chose to take it out on one of the nicest and most understanding man in the world. Was I surprised when he left you? No. I'm glad he did since he's happy now. So what do you have? Nothing. You refuse to meet people. It seems like men are interested in you but you refuse to do something as simple as go for coffee when asked. You reject your friends' invitations go on trips because "they have families". As if people would invite you somewhere if they didn't want you to go. Even when you are with your friends, you seem like such a fake. You put on a front. When did you become so hoity toity? It's been 5 weeks since you've talked to me. I invited you to come watch my competition and you said you would. You didn't. Oh well. I emailed you about the job I got for the summer and you said nothing. That's too bad. I'm moving out. Once bf figures out his job situation, I'm looking for a place. The last real thing you said to me was that you're heartbroken. That's nice. Too bad that was after you came into my room at 4 in the morning on a Monday to bitch about the dishes. And then you kept on coming back into my room to throw things at me. Be glad the books you threw at me hit my forehead rather than my eye. Be glad I'm not enough of a bitch to call the cops on you nor have I ever been despite the fact that I still have a scar on the back of my hand from when you scratched me 3 years ago. Remember that time when you slammed my head into the stairway banister? I do. Pulling my hair was really great, wasn't it? You know why I haven't been home lately? It's because I hate it here. I get scared every time I hear your footsteps outside the door. I regret not moving out 2 years ago. I shouldn't have let the fact that I was going back to school stop me. The plan is to get out of this city once I graduate. No, please don't move cities with me. Maybe you were right when you called me heartless. I guess I just got good at shutting down emotionally whenever you started yelling at me for the dumbest things, like letting some soup boil over. Also, get a hobby. Your life consists of work, sleep, and TV. Conflicted, Daughter
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 02:59 |
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Milky Moor posted:G, what the hell man? You are really hosed up. And when you're invited to a gathering the correct response is 'yes' or 'no'. Not 'I can't, but I might turn up if (another friend) does'. It makes you seem like you don't care about the rest of us being there and going out of our way to invite you because, for whatever reason, people still want to try and be friends with you.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 05:30 |
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Dear brother, Look, I know dad's car isn't officially mine, for all that I pay for repairs/petrol on it, but this doesn't mean you can use it for whatever you feel like. It's really disrespectful when you take the dog to the beach in the car, then leave the front and back seats of the car soaked with sea water and covered in sand. You only take my car out when you're taking the dog with you, so my car is now covered with her hair, and you don't even offer to clean the car or organise for somebody to clean it. Thanks, froglet P.S. I can barely interact with you on a day to day basis because you're so socially awkward. How about you cut out reading up about serial killers, go outside more, stop drinking alone while surfing the internet at all hours and try to stop treating interactions with people as you outpouring information about bullshit they don't really care about. Nobody cares about Alien Vs. Predator. At least, they don't when it's you who's talking. People have interests that have nothing to do with Ted Bundy and tend to think people whose interests include Ted Bundy are really weird unless they're writing a book or documentary. You're not writing a book or documentary, so shut the gently caress up about it.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 12:26 |
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froglet posted:P.S. I can barely interact with you on a day to day basis because you're so socially awkward. How about you cut out reading up about serial killers, go outside more, stop drinking alone while surfing the internet at all hours and try to stop treating interactions with people as you outpouring information about bullshit they don't really care about. Nobody cares about Alien Vs. Predator. At least, they don't when it's you who's talking. People have interests that have nothing to do with Ted Bundy and tend to think people whose interests include Ted Bundy are really weird unless they're writing a book or documentary. You're not writing a book or documentary, so shut the gently caress up about it.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 14:34 |
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Rohaq posted:Future serial killer spotted? Nope, because that would require actually being competent at something.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 15:31 |
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Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man. Remember back in school? You were a drat prodigy! Remember the look on that viticulturists face - the redhead from UC Davis - after you called her out on that rant about Sonoma? Priceless. So snap out of it, man. You're better than this. ptp fucked around with this message at Feb 28, 2011 around 18:13 |
| # ? Feb 28, 2011 18:04 |
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ptp posted:Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man.  big enough for this post.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 19:53 |
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ptp posted:Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man. Haha.. what? I love this, though. 
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 21:52 |
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ptp posted:Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man. THIS is what this particular thread is for. What a total rear end in a top hat, pairing red with fish. 
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| # ? Feb 28, 2011 23:54 |
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ptp posted:Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse.  That's hilariously bizarre.
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 00:24 |
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ptp posted:Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man. At least it's not Merlot
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 02:24 |
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To my best friend, I am too polite to tell you this, but I think you're completely wrong to have become a monk, and every time we talk it just reminds me that the Church has made you so crazy that I barely even know you anymore. If you actually move to England to not speak for a year, I'm going to think that you're mentally ill. No matter how hard I try to pretend otherwise. Get out, please. Love, Me P.S. I am never ever ever ever going to convert, sorry buddy. But it is really insulting that after being best friends for more than 10 years you've decided to start trying.
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 10:17 |
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Dear guy at the dog park, You are a lovely guy, but when another park patron announces that they just became a grandma at age 46 and says she doesn't really know how to be a good one, don't say "all you have to do is love a child and it will be fine." First of all, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Second, how would you know? You are at least 50, have no children, and have told me you have known you were gay for as long as you can remember. Being gay doesn't make your opinions invalid, but I think given all the above, it's not unreasonable to think that maybe you shouldn't be issuing categorical declarations on how to parent effectively. Thirdly, and most important, it doesn't matter who says "all you have to do is love a child" or what it's supposed to mean, it's ostensibly incorrect and a very stupid thing to say. Lunatic born-agains who raise their children to hate you for being a homosexual love their kids, but it doesn't mean they're doing a good job of raising them. Likewise, many fathers who molest their daughters genuinely love their children, just in more ways than are healthy, and those daughters do not end up fine. You are a nice guy and can be quite funny, but when you're not cracking jokes you speak as if you're reading from a collection of motivational fridge-magnets. Life cannot be reduced to inspiring sound-bites, and when you try, it's hard to have anything but complete contempt for you intellectually. Smudgie Buggler fucked around with this message at Mar 1, 2011 around 10:48 |
| # ? Mar 1, 2011 10:39 |
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Cwapface posted:"all you have to do is love a child and it will be fine." if more people thought this way the world would be a better place. can't believe that seriously pissed you off??
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 10:49 |
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ptp posted:Look, J. I'm a patient man. Our kids get along, our wives have been going to yoga together for years, and you're the best racquetball opponent I know. I understand you have some rather.. peculiar.. tastes, and I'm willing to tolerate that, but for gently caress'S SAKE can you please stop serving red wine with EVERYTHING? The malbec was perfect with last month's lamb chops, and the pinot noir with the veal parmesan wasn't bad, but a cab with halibut? What the gently caress is wrong with you? Oh, I should at least acknowledge the one time you DID serve something white. Riesling to go with the porterhouse. Great. I thought about repaying that one by slathering maple syrup on a T-bone the next time your family came over, but my wife insisted I be the bigger man. _____________/ 
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 12:50 |
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Dude, we've been going out for a couple months now and you're really great. I mean it, you're the nicest, most open and most successful guy I've ever dated... but seriously knock it off with the stupid internet memes. I do appreciate that you don't get them from 4chan (which would probably be a deal breaker) but it's still irritating when you treat every real-life conversation like you're on the internet! Please stop using "troll" constantly, stop saying "epic fail", and FOR gently caress'S SAKE no more mention of surprise sex in everyday loving conversation!! "Rapeface", "you gonna get raped", WHATEVER. This poo poo is not, nor will it ever be, funny. I swear next time I hear it come out of your mouth I will smack you upside the head. I only hope that you'll grow out of it, seeing as you're younger than me and I used to be that way too, though to a lesser extent. In any case, please stop.
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 19:19 |
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Calvervtutrp posted:Dude,
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 20:02 |
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| # ? May 25, 2013 09:20 |
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Sorry that your boyfriend is a retarded manchild, Calvervtutrp.
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| # ? Mar 1, 2011 20:18 |
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