|
Dear Tony, You are full of poo poo. I know it, and so does everyone else... all those people you think look up to you and appreciate your advice/anecdotes/stupid jokes? They think you're ANNOYING AS gently caress. Your stupid stories about all this awesome poo poo you've done? They're believable enough at first, but I've know you for over a year now and I haven't seen ANY evidence of them being true. If you used to be so cool and have so many friends to have wacky adventures with, what happened to it all? How would someone go from that, to sitting on his rear end playing MMOs all day? Either they all ditched you (gee, I wonder why) or they never existed in the first place... and I'm leaning towards the latter. We talk every day and I've heard of you hanging out with someone else maybe three times in the year and a half I've known you. You try so loving hard, man. It's ridiculous, and it makes people hate being around you. You can't even have a normal human conversation, it's just bullshit stories from "back in the day" or unwanted, pompously-given advice and factoids you picked up while wasting time on your computer all day. You don't have to jump into everyone's conversations with stupid poo poo they don't even want to hear. The sweetest, most patient girl in the world told me that you were completely unbearable before you met me, so I hate to imagine what you were like before. Also, you treat me like I'm stupid. You always have to be the smart, helpful one (in your mind, anyway; NOBODY actually sees you that way) but you don't really know poo poo. You can't do basic math and you're barely literate, all you can do is regurgitate whatever info you gleaned from TV the day before. Despite this, you want to always be better and smarter than everyone else. Remember when I told you how to fix that guy's computer? I was standing RIGHT THERE when you told him, word for word, what I had said to you. As if you thought of that poo poo yourself. You act like I couldn't possibly know as much as you, even though I've demonstrated my intelligence more than enough, while you just sit there and try to come up with some bullshit anecdote that makes you seem oh-so smart and witty. Lisa, You're my best friend! Really, you are. But, I get so sick of being around you. You get offended at the dumbest things, and blow everything WAY out of proportion. The other day, when that super-awkward guy made a joke about you smoking pot? You KNEW he was not all there and he'd been saying dumb nonsensical stuff all day, but for some reason you freaked out. You spent the next several HOURS making a big deal about how you were so mad you were shaking, and you wanted to beat him up and poo poo. Over a dumb joke that took all of two seconds. I get it, you don't do drugs or drink... that doesn't give you a right to freak out when someone jokingly implies that you do. And when you found out Kyle was a christian? You called me up after you apparently "had a huge fight" with him, claiming to have been crying your eyes out at the awful things he had said. Saying "Yeah, I found out he's a TOTAL bible-thumper" and talking about how rude he was and how he totally tried to convert you. This nice, middle-aged guy who you had been getting along with very well for like a year. The next time I saw him, he asked if you were okay and said you had just burst into tears and left the room. He was very concerned, because he's a NICE GUY. And now you're going to ignore him forever and tell me he's an rear end in a top hat behind his back? You have a major stick up your rear end. I'm not a Christian either, but unlike you I don't think that they're incapable of being good people and there's something wrong with you if you think that way. In short, you're a drama queen. You hate when (you think) people judge you because you're a lesbian, but you're so quick to judge everyone around you. I am sick of your poo poo. And no, I DON'T want to live with you and your drama-queen girlfriend! You guys fight all the time, she's messy as gently caress and you don't want ANY ALCOHOL in the house at all, EVER? You guys are hella judgmental and passive-aggressive, and I don't want you sticking your nose in my business contantly. Apologies, this got really long really fast.
|
| # ¿ Feb 6, 2010 19:02 |
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 22, 2013 22:05 |
|
|
Dear friends: Please get yourselves jobs and cars already. At least one of you. Please? I am loving sick of making plans, then driving all over loving town to get you, carting everyone to where we're going, PAYING for poo poo because you can't afford more than $5 each, not to mention all the gas, then taking each of you back to your own loving homes. Or, I should say, your PARENTS' homes. Their tiny-rear end homes that are crazy uncomfortable, so we ALWAYS end up going out someplace where "we don't have to spend any money, I swear!" turns into "This is so boring, we should go get food/go mini-golfing/whatever." Note that there is nothing necessarily wrong with living with your parents, or with not having a car, or with being unemployed. But all of those things put together become a huge inconvenience, and you should at least be making an active attempt on the job part. By the way, while we're on the subject... when you're whining every loving day about not having jobs, maybe you should LISTEN to my advice? After all I am the ONLY one here who is gainfully employed. PLEASE don't loving snub every suggestion I make. You're not too good to have a loving fast food job; I used to think like that until after a year and a half of looking they were the only place that would give me a chance, and you know what, it's NOT THAT BAD. Also, when you're planning on taking classes at our community college EVERY DAY and I say it'll be much harder to find a job that way, saying "well I'll just work before/after my classes, teehee" will just make me think you're dumb. It doesn't work that way! You can't go into an interview and say "well I am completely unavailable for at least half the day, every day" and expect them to hire you. Especially when your classes go from about 11 to 6. And you don't want to work nights. I am getting sick of this poo poo. You guys are great friends all around, but I'm not made of cash and I am NOT going into debt just because I don't want to sit home doing nothing every night. You know, after I get home from MY JOB.
|
| # ¿ Feb 14, 2010 18:37 |
|
|
Monica, SHUT THE gently caress UP. Why do you have to talk poo poo about everyone you know, CONSTANTLY? You insult the people in your classes, while they're close enough to hear you. You put down your "friends", including me, but if someone dares to say poo poo about you, you'll bitch about them behind their back for the rest of your loving life. You gleefully describe yourself as a bitch and claim people just can't handle it. You act so self-confident, but that's all it is... an act. You act loud and bitchy to cover your own insecurities, and it's painfully obvious, but you say you're just being "real" and telling people what most are afraid to say. But, listen: INSULTING EVERYONE IS NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT. You're not doing anyone any favors. You just mock every single person you see, whether or not they can hear you, and you act like you're being admirable. You're not even funny, just dumb and obnoxious and I don't know how anyone stands you. You drive everyone away from you, then whine and bitch that your friends are all horrible and ignore your calls. GEE, I WONDER WHY? I am sick of your poo poo, and I don't like hanging out with you because I just know you'll be talking poo poo about me the moment I'm gone. Also: If you're so loving miserable with your boyfriend, break up with him! Why are you still hoping he'll propose to you? Getting married will not fix your broken-rear end relationship, but maybe it would help if you stopped whining at him every second of the day for not doting on your lazy, unemployed rear end? That stupid, high, whiny voice you use with him makes me want to haul off and sock you in your loving face. I've seen the way you treat him, and it's loving ridiculous, regardless of how he treats you. Which, from what I've seen, isn't bad at all.
|
| # ¿ Mar 1, 2010 02:14 |
|
|
Octavioo posted:I just realised I actually don't really like the people considered to be my closest friends. It's just constant bullshit from them really. It's like I'm the one that supposed not to enjoy myself around them, I've been told to my face that 'I'm like that guy off Knocked Up who they make grow the beard'. gently caress it, gently caress them, i'm not putting up with it anymore. Ugh, I came to that realization not long ago too. Doesn't it suck major balls? Not only several of my friends, but also my boyfriend. I am sick of their poo poo and I don't know why I've tried so hard to be one of them. I even started dressing differently because this one chick, who I KNOW is a total bitch, would make fun of me if I dressed and acted the way I used to. I didn't even realize it for the longest time... it's a bizarre feeling.
|
| # ¿ Mar 6, 2010 04:09 |
|
|
To "the boys" Uh, thanks for reminding me why I don't hang out with you very often anymore, I guess? How old are you guys now, 23, 24? You should have realized a long time ago that 4chan is not the height of hilarity. Hey, I get it, I went through that phase too... when I was a dumb shut-in teenager. And even then, I didn't feel the need to loudly repeat the same tired, offensive memes, especially not over dinner in a nice restaurant. Also, the surprise sex jokes? Even if they HAD been clever or original, which they weren't, they still would have been extremely tasteless and unfunny. Especially in the crowded restaurant.
|
| # ¿ Apr 12, 2010 18:14 |
|
|
Seriously? How could you POSSIBLY think I was cheating on you at all, much less with my FEMALE, ENGAGED best friend? Yeah, I spend a lot of time with her, she's my loving FRIEND. If you knew anyone other than your immature online buddies, maybe this wouldn't seem so weird to you. Yeah I haven't seen you outside of school in two weeks, but you know what? In all this time you have not ONCE invited me over. Not one loving time. Maybe I'm sick of always being the one to arrange everything and drag my rear end over to your parents' house so we can watch movies and gently caress. Oh, and maybe I'm sick of never doing anything else. If I'm thinking of maaaaybe inviting myself over, but then a friend calls to see if I want to go out and do something EXCITING, you bet your rear end I'm going with them. And next time you want to accuse me of something retarded like that, at least have the balls to ask about it instead of that thinly veiled "hey my friend thinks you and M are loving around" bullshit. What the gently caress? I don't even know any of your stupid friends, and it's painfully obvious that you're just trying to cover your own rear end. I was going to break down and invite myself over tonight, but now I don't even want to bother. Actually, you know what, this is really more amusing than anything else... it really showcases how pathetic our whole relationship is, though. Calvervtutrp fucked around with this message at May 3, 2010 around 03:03 |
| # ¿ May 3, 2010 02:59 |
|
|
So my best friend Meg introduced me to an old friend of hers, Amy. Amy and I get along very well, both of us being very laid-back and having similar taste in almost everything. We hit it off and I start spending more time with her. I still spend a SHITLOAD of time around Meg, who is very high-strung and generally a little stressful to be around despite her being my closest friend, but I've started asking things like "when is Amy going to be here?" or "Oh, is Amy coming too?" The other day, I was with Meg almost all day at school but she was acting really weird and moody. After a while, she comes out with this: "OKAY, listen- I'm what I call a step-off friend. Every time I make a friend, as soon as I introduce them to one of my other friends, they become friends and stop hanging out with me."  So, basically, she's afraid I'm going to... leave her for this other girl? I didn't know that was something people worried about. I mean, she and I have been hanging out for almost 4 years now and she's actually the closest friend I've ever had... but apparently she feels threatened by my spending time with another girl who SHE introduced me to? I have had other friends the entire time I've known her, and this has never been an issue before. I don't get it.
|
| # ¿ May 11, 2010 03:15 |
|
|
It has to be. Right? .....Right?
|
| # ¿ May 11, 2010 04:45 |
|
|
Generally when my friends act like dicks every time I invite them over, I... stop inviting them over. It's worked out pretty well for me so far! Also: What happened to the erupting skeleton?? That was my favorite avatar/title EVER. I literally cracked up every single time I saw it. Today, my heart is broken. Cayla: Maybe I would want to make the hour-long drive to see you more often if you didn't tack on some sort of errand for me EVERY. loving. TIME. I know it's "sort of on the way" but that doesn't mean I want to take a detour to pick poo poo up for you when I just wanted to come hang out for a little bit! Do you EVER invite me when you don't need me to do something for you? I can't even remember the last time. I used to let myself be guilted into this poo poo. I know that it's a long drive for you to come all the way back down to the city, and it's a 20 minute detour for me vs. a hour-and-a-half drive down and back for you. But when it's every single loving time and not ONCE have you offered me anything in return, of course I'll get fed up with it! And yet, somehow, every time I refuse you manage to turn it around on me and make ME feel like a jerk for not doing this admittedly small favor for you. And now you invite me to stay for the weekend! Hey, that sounds like fun... except for that last part you snuck in, about borrowing my loving car. Seriously? You want to take MY car on a 5-hour (each way) drive up to the mountains. That "OH and you can come too! It'll be fun!" didn't make it any better. I KNOW my car uses roughly half as much gas as yours and you'll be saving about $150 by taking it... but it's also old and falling apart. I have literally no money to fix it if something goes wrong, which it inevitably will. And in the meantime, the ONLY thing I'll get in return is the use of your gas-guzzling monster of a truck, which I'll have to pay to refill? gently caress. OFF.
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2010 16:51 |
|
|
Wojtek posted:Ugh, I know, I noticed that afterwards but couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. Mine is also my step-mom though (she was my friend first, and she's my dad's age so it's not that creepy) so it's kind of hard to avoid her. Any time I want to go see my younger step-siblings or just hang with my dad for a while, she manages to get ahold of me and pile some poo poo on. I feel bad because we were great friends for years, but since they moved out to the middle of nowhere it's like a loving list of chores every time I want to go up. Feels like she's just taking advantage at this point. Plus I'm not the one inviting HER over. If your friend is being a dick and breaking your poo poo, stop bringing them into your house!
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2010 17:47 |
|
|
 Holy poo poo, dude! Definitely talk to the girls' parents and tell them to MAKE him stay away, before something terrible happens. That guy sounds like a major creeper.While we're on the subject: I recently learned that one of my best guy-friends molested his younger sister (also a friend of mine) continuously for over a year when they were younger. He doesn't know that I know... but now I don't know how to react to this. It was a long time ago, but that's not really something that just goes away, and as a victim of something similar when I was young, it makes me feel very uncomfortable around him.
|
| # ¿ May 24, 2010 20:21 |
|
|
ImpactVector posted:I took it to mean that T was making an excuse for whey they couldn't come to the party rather than Affi expecting a present. I could be wrong though. This is what I thought, as well. I've heard that used as an excuse before. "Gee, I'd LOVE to, but I can't afford to bring anything right now!"  No, it's cool, you don't have to bring anything!"But, but, uh... I just can't afford anything and, uh, I'd feel bad, so... no thanks." It's pretty retarded.
|
| # ¿ May 27, 2010 16:37 |
|
|
M, you were my best friend for a few years, and the first person to pull me out of my shell when I was a shy awkward nerd, just starting college and completely terrified. But now, I don't know what the gently caress your problem is. First, getting all paranoid and weird that I'm hanging out with A more than I hang out with you? What the gently caress is that all about? YOU'RE the one who introduced us. God forbid I ever make any other friends than you. She and I also had a class together over the summer, whereas YOU have been working 6 days a week and never have time for anything else, so don't get all up on my rear end about how much time I'm spending with her. You're acting like a jealous lover, and it's a little creepy to be honest. Second, don't loving judge me for drinking. I'm not an alcoholic, in fact I've only been drunk once in my entire loving life, but I like to hang out and have a few drinks with friends. Why is that any of YOUR business? Get off your high horse and stop looking down on everyone who so much as sips on a beer. Besides, you were plenty eager to drink those wine coolers I had one night, even getting all butthurt that your girlfriend didn't want one. Third, what the gently caress am I supposed to do about you not liking my other friends? I'm sure as hell not going to ditch them when YOU'RE the one with the problem. It's not even because they did anything, you just get mad over stupid poo poo the first time you meet them, then talk poo poo about them and refuse to get to know them. Saying "You know how I feel about her!" every time I bring D up is only going to make me mad at YOU. You met her ONCE, gently caress you for being a judgemental, insecure bitch. And now you stopped being Facebook friends with A, for some dumbass reason? That is junior high level drama, and I don't need that bullshit. She didn't do anything to you, in fact she has tried so hard to be nice despite you giving her the cold shoulder ever since she and I got closer. Have you noticed that you're the only one doing this poo poo? I am sick of it. We have a class together with D and A next semester, and if you try to make me 'choose' between them and you, you're not going to like my answer.
|
| # ¿ Aug 12, 2010 22:20 |
|
|
Breaux posted:K: You have no idea how beautiful you are. That would be magnified a thousand times if you would just smile more often. Seriously, how many other women do you know with the same interests as yourself? You are a queen amongst a bunch of retarded sluts. Maybe if I rescue you from your "friends" you will understand how superficial and ignorant they really are.  This makes you sound like a loving creepy douchebag. Please gently caress off and leave this poor woman alone. You can't magically fix her life and make her fall madly in love with you. You have no place trying to "rescue" anyone from the people they CHOOSE to be friends with, and trying to do so only makes you a controlling creepo, not some romantic savior.
|
| # ¿ Oct 2, 2010 19:35 |
|
|
The way you phrased the whole thing just makes you seem like a douche. Referring to the women around her as "a bunch of retarded sluts"? Saying her (apparently rare) interests make her better than other women? And, the worst, saying you're going to rescue her from all this? It's one thing to be supportive and push her to get help, but you sound like you're being a goony dick about it. If she has such low self-esteem and lets people control her, how is it going to help for YOU to try to control her life too? Of course I care about my friends, but I know better than to try to shove help down their throats. ESPECIALLY when they're already getting similar poo poo from everyone else in their lives. If you're sick of hearing her whining, tell her to get help and you'll support her with whatever she chooses to do about it, but you don't want to loving hear about it 24/7. And I didn't say anything about the married woman, I don't give a poo poo about that.
|
| # ¿ Oct 2, 2010 20:32 |
|
|
Lady, I feel like I don't even know you any more, and that would be really sad if you hadn't turned into such a loving whiny douche. Now, I guess you're trying to get sympathy as a way to get me more involved with your life again, or something? But complaining constantly about how sick and/or upset you are and doing that pathetic "I need a huuuug" thing as you lean on my shoulder? NOT HELPING! You are SUCH a loving drag to be around now, and it's embarrassing as hell when you come up to me 5 times DURING CLASS and demand a hug. What are you, 4 years old? I know, I know, you felt like I was "pulling away from you" or whatever and that upset you because we used to be best buds... you've made that clear enough despite not being able to say it to my face. But, listen, I had VERY LITTLE to do with that. YOU'RE the one who didn't like the other friend I was hanging out with, so you started turning down any invitations that included her and making faces whenever I mentioned her. YOU'RE the one who wouldn't call/text me for weeks until you wanted something, then would call repeatedly and leave a shitload of creepy mumbled messages. YOU'RE the one who decided that every single thing in your life was a loving tragedy, and finally, YOU'RE the one who thinks anyone who doesn't agree with you about everything is some kind of dumb, retarded monkey who should be mercilessly mocked. I'm loving SICK of your bullshit! Call me when you get back on/off your meds (??) and you've decided to be a fun and loving person again. Ahh, that feels good... now I just have to tell this poo poo to HER.
|
| # ¿ Dec 17, 2010 17:16 |
|
|
I have a friend like that too! He's such a DICK about it. He's totaled several cars within the last couple of years because he drives insanely aggressively, and treats his cars like poo poo. One of these cars was the company van he was driving for a new job. And yet, every time he claims it wasn't his fault at all. At least twice it has been "the brakes suddenly went out", once it was "the car doesn't handle at all like my old one", once it was basically exactly what you described with your friend: the car in front of him stopped too quickly. But of course he was driving perfectly each time, it was just that drat car/other driver/bad luck. Being a passenger in his car is a loving terrifying experience. I dread the day he actually kills someone.
|
| # ¿ Dec 19, 2010 01:18 |
|
|
Dude, we've been going out for a couple months now and you're really great. I mean it, you're the nicest, most open and most successful guy I've ever dated... but seriously knock it off with the stupid internet memes. I do appreciate that you don't get them from 4chan (which would probably be a deal breaker) but it's still irritating when you treat every real-life conversation like you're on the internet! Please stop using "troll" constantly, stop saying "epic fail", and FOR gently caress'S SAKE no more mention of surprise sex in everyday loving conversation!! "Rapeface", "you gonna get raped", WHATEVER. This poo poo is not, nor will it ever be, funny. I swear next time I hear it come out of your mouth I will smack you upside the head. I only hope that you'll grow out of it, seeing as you're younger than me and I used to be that way too, though to a lesser extent. In any case, please stop.
|
| # ¿ Mar 1, 2011 19:19 |
|
|
I honestly have no idea  it makes no sense. Seriously, he is really great in every other way. He's intelligent, and really he is NOT an awkward spergin' manchild, I swear... it's just this one thing. If he had done it from the beginning I would never had considered dating him, as I usually despise people who do that poo poo and I have dropped friends for it before. I think he at least realizes that most normal people don't want to hear it, but he assumes that since I'm a huge nerd, it's okay? I don't know. I'll talk to him about it, because it's really driving me nuts.
|
| # ¿ Mar 1, 2011 20:34 |
|
|
SecurityManKillJoy posted:Okay, maybe I just drank a little too much tonight, but I literally could not make any loving sense out of a single thing you just said. AJzer's translation helped a little, once I read it over a few more times. In any case... jesus christ dude you are nuts, get some loving help. E; No nevermind, I don't care how drunk I am, that poo poo makes no sense. "Keeping it gender neutral"?? What?
|
| # ¿ Mar 7, 2011 03:01 |
|
|
The Letter A posted:Some people smell worse than others when they don't shower. Ugh, you got that right. I have a step-sister around my own age who literally REEKED, nearly all the time. She'd come out of the shower, then 4-5 hours later that smell was back. It was awful, too... I'm not even sure how to describe it, it was kinda like rancid egg smell? I think she must've had some kind of medical problem, because I have never met anyone else who smelled like that, ever. Or maybe puberty just did really bizarre things to her, because she didn't smell like that when she was 11-12 (though she did smell like poo poo an awful lot) and I don't think she does now. I shared a room with her for a while when it was at its worst, and it completely permeated the room and all our stuff it sucked because otherwise she was a really nice girl, and very fun to be around.
|
| # ¿ May 10, 2011 21:30 |
|
|
I could be wrong, but don't the vast majority of gay people go through phases like that when they first come out? There's probably some cool psychological term for it that I can't be bothered to look up. I know I've read about it before. It's like the combination of being able to act the way you want without worrying about people perceiving you as "gay", and wanting to "fit in" with the crowd you finally get to join, or something. I know I've seen a couple friends go through it, including one in high school who went from a superquiet introvert to loudly screaming  "HEY WHOOOOORE" in a high-pitched voice when he saw me in the parking lot. And yes, it was EXTREMELY annoying, but he's obviously much happier now and WAY more comfortable with himself.Anyway, maybe he'll grow out of most of it and go back to how he used to be, and maybe he won't. You'll just have to wait and see. As for the money thing, well, I know it can be hard to watch but it's his life. Try not to worry about it, and change the subject when it comes up if you don't want to hear it?
|
| # ¿ May 30, 2011 16:46 |
|
|
Dear Katie, Please leave me out of your bullshit boy drama. I know you're just out of high school, but goddamn girl you need to grow up and get over this idiotic poo poo! I love working with you, it's fun to chill out and talk about all the cute guys we work with. I've never had many girly friends I could talk about that stuff with, and it's nice that we have the same taste... but we both have boyfriends and it bugs me when you take it beyond just talk. You really should have learned, after things blew up with Andy. And don't even TRY to give me that "I thought we were just hanging out with friends, HE took it too far!" crap. I KNOW you had a big crush on him, you two were together all the time, at work and afterward. When things went wrong for whatever reason, you had a huge falling out, and now I get to hear it from both sides (even though I barely know him) and I'm sick of it! Even though I'm trying to stay out of it and I've been telling both of you I haven't heard anything from the other, you still both hunt me down and tell me every excruciating detail - except I'm getting completely different stories. Which is it? Did he write you a bunch of weird love letters then call you a slut for not reciprocating, or did you get super creepy and clingy and drive him away? Did Andy's girlfriend come to you to "learn the truth", or did you go to her to cause more trouble? Did you tell her that he's just been flirting with co-workers (true) or that he's loving everything that moves? And for gently caress's sake, PLEASE tell me you didn't say that he was loving the insanely sweet 20-year-old WIDOWED MOTHER OF 3! JESUS CHRIST. The only reason I'm inclined to believe you over him is because he's a liiiittle creepy sometimes, and I like you more, but I sure as hell know you're not innocent in this. If you did even half of the poo poo he's saying you did, then you've got serious problems... but the same goes for him.And now, what, you're "hanging out" with the (admittedly very hot) supervisor who's got 12 years on you? While making plans to move in with your long-time boyfriend? This is going to end VERY badly, and I don't want to be around when it happens. You're so desperate for the attention of every dude you see! You need to grow up a little and stop stirring up trouble whenever you can.
|
| # ¿ Jun 16, 2011 21:14 |
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 22, 2013 22:05 |
|
|
Budget Bears posted:Stop being just a little too much older than me for anything to ever happen between us. Stop showing me what it feels like to be attracted to a man and not a boy. How much older are we talking, here? Because he sounds awesome and if that's the only thing holding you back, it'd better be a drat big age difference. 
|
| # ¿ Jul 28, 2011 18:11 |
|
