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Pistachio Hell posted:that's loving ridiculous. why not just use horses? have you tried to ram walls with horses or stack them to get over? its really hard you need a lot of tape
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Jul 6, 2008 19:07
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Sputty posted:have you tried to ram walls with horses or stack them to get over? its really hard you need a lot of tape I meant why not use horses to move the thing. 3400 dudes is a lot.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:10
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Stegosaurus posted:what the gently caress are you talking about Yeah apparently we missed the memo. It's now morally wrong to marvel at the ingenuity of past civilizations. As well as reflecting on the past to see what tactics worked and didn't work. In fact, the past should be erased as it is a burden on we morally enlightened beings of the present. War is Peace, Slavery is Freedom, Ignorance is Strength.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:11
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Pistachio Hell posted:dude you aren't familiar with the Hellenistic Conspiracy?! the athenians lied, socrates died
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Jul 6, 2008 19:11
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Pistachio Hell posted:I meant why not use horses to move the thing. 3400 dudes is a lot. horses cost more than slaves
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Jul 6, 2008 19:13
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Xephero posted:horses cost more than slaves and ate more, creating supply problems.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:15
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Aristotle Animes posted:the athenians lied, socrates died no seriously I had a TA once have this crazy conspiracy about how Archimedes simply "recovered" lost documents from Socrates-Plato-Aristotle and how he was a thief just stealing their ideas and eventually this turned into Archimedes and Aristotle actually being the same person and records getting destroyed later with new fake dates for births/deaths being fabricated and blah blah blah the dude didn't get his PhD and didn't TA again next quarter.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:17
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edward said is gay posted:you guys know what else is cool? napalm and white phosphorus! look at those hajis burn! I hear GBS enjoys killing fun threads in the name of morality police.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:17
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I always liked the Godendag It's a wooden mallet with some metal spikes stuck on it. That's it. It was a super weapon because it let a bunch of Flemish farmers who made it at home completely wreck the poo poo of super-expensive and rigorously trained French armored mounted knights, who were supposedly the best in the world. "Godendag" is Dutch for "Good Day" which supposedly the farmers said as they simultaneously crushed the heads and pierced the armor of French jerks.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:19
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Pistachio Hell posted:no seriously I had a TA once have this crazy conspiracy about how Archimedes simply "recovered" lost documents from Socrates-Plato-Aristotle and how he was a thief just stealing their ideas and eventually this turned into Archimedes and Aristotle actually being the same person and records getting destroyed later with new fake dates for births/deaths being fabricated and blah blah blah the dude didn't get his PhD and didn't TA again next quarter. That really is pretty crazy, but it makes you wonder where has history been duped, and we have not noticed?
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Jul 6, 2008 19:19
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Pistachio Hell posted:no seriously I had a TA once have this crazy conspiracy about how Archimedes simply "recovered" lost documents from Socrates-Plato-Aristotle and how he was a thief just stealing their ideas and eventually this turned into Archimedes and Aristotle actually being the same person and records getting destroyed later with new fake dates for births/deaths being fabricated and blah blah blah the dude didn't get his PhD and didn't TA again next quarter. jesus Truthers I get because that poo poo would actually matter if it were true, even to a lesser extent fake moon landing; but this, this is insane and trivial
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Jul 6, 2008 19:19
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How about the gun that (Germany?) built that could launch satellites into space not really ancient but come on how cool is that
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Jul 6, 2008 19:20
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Pistachio Hell posted:no seriously I had a TA once have this crazy conspiracy about how Archimedes simply "recovered" lost documents from Socrates-Plato-Aristotle and how he was a thief just stealing their ideas and eventually this turned into Archimedes and Aristotle actually being the same person and records getting destroyed later with new fake dates for births/deaths being fabricated and blah blah blah the dude didn't get his PhD and didn't TA again next quarter. all knowledge came from Hermes blah blah yeah he probably loved the Da Vinci Code
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Jul 6, 2008 19:20
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some afro-centrists claim socrates stole all his knowledge from the library of alexandria, which was filled by writings by black africans
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Jul 6, 2008 19:21
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Esteban posted:That really is pretty crazy, but it makes you wonder where has history been duped, and we have not noticed?
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Jul 6, 2008 19:22
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Pistachio Hell posted:no seriously I had a TA once have this crazy conspiracy about how Archimedes simply "recovered" lost documents from Socrates-Plato-Aristotle and how he was a thief just stealing their ideas and eventually this turned into Archimedes and Aristotle actually being the same person and records getting destroyed later with new fake dates for births/deaths being fabricated and blah blah blah the dude didn't get his PhD and didn't TA again next quarter. Rome never existed!
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Jul 6, 2008 19:23
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Viceroy posted:Rome never existed! WRONG !! they were always there 
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Jul 6, 2008 19:24
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I've wanted to build a trebuchet for a while.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:24
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You can't really have a thread about ancient superweapons without mentioning the War Elephant. These things were a formidable foe, arguably being the main reason Alexander the Great didn't manage to conquer all of India. They had a relevant role in European combat from about 300BC to whenever Europe ran out of elephants. The use of the war elephant was based on the idea that a 14 ft tall animal that can trample you easily is loving scary, as well as putting a dude or two with bows and arrows to ride on top of it. Some of the more well known elephantieers of the Ancient Era were Pyrrhus and Hannibal, both of whom fought against the Romans. The Romans came up with at least two effective methods of countering war elephants. One way was to step out of their way, since they could only apparently be ordered to charge forward. The other, more entertaining method was to light pigs on fire and have them run at the elephants, completely freaking the giant animals out and hopefully wrecking some havoc on enemy troops. This method is attested to by the historian Pliny the Elder, who remarked that elephants are easily frightened by a squealing pig.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:25
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Sputty posted:you mean slopes no, both WP and napalm have been used in This Iraq War
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Jul 6, 2008 19:26
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kylejack posted:I've wanted to build a trebuchet for a while. I made it a class project for my physics classes one year. They just had to fling a 100g weight, but it was pretty rad.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:26
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Aristotle Animes posted:THE loving MEDICI!!!! dude would have let dan brown plow his rear end in a top hat without a moment's hesitation edward said is gay posted:some afro-centrists claim socrates stole all his knowledge from the library of alexandria, which was filled by writings by black africans yes but this is wrong because WHITE POWER
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Jul 6, 2008 19:26
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Ambrose Burnside posted:bombard poo poo
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Jul 6, 2008 19:26
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Glenn Glenda posted:The Romans came up with at least two effective methods of countering war elephants. One way was to step out of their way, since they could only apparently be ordered to charge forward. The other, more entertaining method was to light pigs on fire and have them run at the elephants, completely freaking the giant animals out and hopefully wrecking some havoc on enemy troops. This method is attested to by the historian Pliny the Elder, who remarked that elephants are easily frightened by a squealing pig. In Rome: Total War I would send attack dogs after war elephants. It sometimes worked!
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Jul 6, 2008 19:31
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Pistachio Hell posted:yes but this is wrong because WHITE POWER and because socrates predated the library
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Jul 6, 2008 19:31
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War Elephants turned out to be complete poo poo. They were actually pretty afraid to charge through people unless they were threatened and hurt ( because they're nice  ) and also the smell of horses blood scared elephants as well.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:33
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Glenn Glenda posted:The Romans came up with at least two effective methods of countering war elephants. One way was to step out of their way, since they could only apparently be ordered to charge forward. The other, more entertaining method was to light pigs on fire and have them run at the elephants, completely freaking the giant animals out and hopefully wrecking some havoc on enemy troops. This method is attested to by the historian Pliny the Elder, who remarked that elephants are easily frightened by a squealing pig. lol this is a good thread
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Jul 6, 2008 19:40
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edward said is gay posted:and because socrates predated the library and also white power
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Jul 6, 2008 19:40
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I built a trebuchet, it launched lacrosse balls great distances. the key si finding a strong axle and getting the sling right. the arm and the base almost build themselves.
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Jul 6, 2008 19:53
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Stegosaurus posted:I built a trebuchet, it launched lacrosse balls great distances. the key si finding a strong axle and getting the sling right. the arm and the base almost build themselves. Yeah I have friends who built one a few months back who had about that much to say. It's much more fun to launch coconuts though 
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Jul 6, 2008 19:59
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Yeah, war elephants are pretty much "superweapons" in the sense that they're totally awesome and impressive but functionally useless. I think we have to give some credit to the Bulgarians, who built an elaborate system of fortifications basically out of wood, earth, and stone which successfully blockades from the Black Sea to the Danube for something like 400 years:  They held the entire Byzantine Empire, using a clever combination of swamps, forts, and cowardice in the face of overwhelming enemies. quote:'And the emperor Constantine, learning that a ungodly and filthy people settled in the lands beyond the Danube, in the Oglos, and that they attack and devastate the lands near the Danube, i.e. the presently held by them country, previously held by the Christians, was very upset and ordered for the departure of all troops to Thrace. And after arming the fleet, he set against them by land and by sea with the intention to make war with them and to chase them out. The infantry moved in battle lines towards the so called Oglos and the Danube and the fleet was ordered to anchor nearby. The Bulgars, seeing the dense and numerous lines, became desperate, fled in the aforementioned fortification and prepared themselves for defence. In the next 3-4 days nobody of them dared to show up and the Romans did not seek a battle because of the swamps. The filthy people, seeing the Roman weakness, recovered themselves and became bolder. The emperor suffered from a fit of gout and had to return to Messembria to take baths, leaving his generals to start the fighting and to engage them in a battle if they leave their fortifications. Otherwise, to put them under siege and to check their advances. The cavalry, however, spread the rumour that the emperor was deserting them, and fled on their own, without being chased by anybody. The Bulgars, seeing this, attacked and chased them and killed most of them by swords, and many were wounded. And after chasing them up to the Danube, they crossed it.'
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Jul 6, 2008 20:10
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Hwachas were pretty neat, even if the Koreans weren't bright enough to figure out how to make an RPG, and instead just tied a bunch of rockets to arrows. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QgCaDTe006U&feature=related
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Jul 6, 2008 20:15
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Turtle ship The first ironclads, built by Korea in the 15th-19th centuries. Used to hand the Japanese fleet its rear end on a silver platter. quote:The dragon head was placed on the top of the ship at the bow. Several different versions of the dragon head were used on the turtle ships. The dragon head was first placed as an early form of psychological warfare to scare Japanese soldiers. One version carried a projector that could release a dense toxic smoke that was generated from a mixture of sulphur and saltpeter produced in the bowels of the ship. The smoke was designed to obscure vision and interfere with the Japanese ability to manoeuvre and coordinate properly.[7] Another version of the dragon head had a cannon placed in its mouth so that the ship would appear to be more threatening.
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Jul 6, 2008 20:35
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Pistachio Hell posted:I meant why not use horses to move the thing. 3400 dudes is a lot. horses are more expensive than ppl btw the cannon that could launch satellites was built by iraq by a canadian that was killed by the mossad or something lmao
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Jul 6, 2008 20:38
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This thread owns vote 5 so people view it
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Jul 6, 2008 20:40
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Sputty posted:horses are more expensive than ppl
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Jul 6, 2008 20:40
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The trebuchet is still my favorite of the Medieval siege weapons. It was the atomic bomb of it's time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wVADKznOhY
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Jul 6, 2008 20:41
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I wish I was Rich English Guy.
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Jul 6, 2008 20:54
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Humans are a really adaptive species and it took only about 4000 years from the invention of the sword to the idea of wrapping a person completely into metal so as to protect them from being hit by one. Fully armored knights were a really expensive and really elite force in Europe. And only the richest people could afford a suit of armor like this. It looks completely ridiculous, and dominated the battlefields for only a relatively brief period from the end of the 13th century until people managed to make enough of halberds, warhammers and the aforementioned big clubs with spikes in them about 100 years lated. The final adieu for plate armor was the invention of cheap gunpowder right before the Renaissance, which is probably why it's associated very strongly with the dark medieval age. The common way of defeating another plate armored guy was to try and hit him in the armpit with a really thin sword resembling an icepick. The knights really only used the longswords and such when quelling peasant revolts, which was most of the time.
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Jul 6, 2008 21:06
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King Berel posted:And then Archimedes was stabbed by some random Roman rear end in a top hat who didn't know who he was because Archimedes was supposedly autistic and couldn't stop working they probably knew who he was they just thought of him the same way we think of war criminals
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Jul 6, 2008 21:12
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