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Directed By: Rob Cohen Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li (How could you  ), Some bitch that totally isn't Evelyn, John Hannah, Michelle Leoh, and a whole bunch of other jerks. This movie was absolutely atrocious. Do not go see this movie, not even ironically. If it gets a RiffTrax, maybe pirate it, but I'm not even sure that could make this tripe watchable. For the record, I enjoyed the first two Mummy movies. Yeah, they were dumb popcorn movies, but they did their job. Thanks to my mother (who adores the first two movies) I've probably seen each of them a dozen times apiece. They were the kind of movie you could sit down and watch a scene or two and be reasonably entertained. Forgettable, but entertaining enough that you didn't really care. This was not that kind of movie. The movie pretty much breaks down like this, roughly in descending order of running time: -Awkward and plodding exposition -Stretches where nothing of interest happens -Embarrassing attempts at humor. -Sub-grade school quality romantic scenes -CGI yetis -The bits you saw in the trailer -Awkward and predictable action sequences -A few seconds of decent action -Some red-shirt getting his body doused with acid Brendan Fraser and John Hannah appear to be doing the best they can with the terrible writing they're given. The new Evelyn and Alex are both absolutely worthless, and largely responsible for the worst scenes of the movie. The Asian contingent (Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, and Isabella Leong) all phone it in, but I can't say I blame them. The aforementioned CGI yetis are probably the most compelling of the bunch, and deliver the only joke to get so much as a chuckle out of me in the whole movie, as stupid as it was. On the topic of Jet Li; I've had a long standing tradition that I pretty much have to see every movie that he releases in theaters. Those of you that have been paying attention could probably guess that this has not served me well. I will no longer be carrying on this tradition. To put this in perspective, some of the movies this ill advised mandate have forced me to watch include: Romeo Must Die, Cradle 2 the Grave, The One, Kiss of the Dragon, and in a recent bit of excrement, War. None of those could break me, but the Mummy did. I would honestly prefer to be forced to watch any of the aforementioned movies for weeks at a time than have to watch Mummy 3 again. At one point, one of the characters says something to the effect of "We have to get to Shangri-la, or <spoiler> will die!". Literally not two seconds later we are treated to an abrupt scene transition and "We made it! Shangri-la!". The movie is filled with absurd writing, pacing, and plotting errors like this, and going over any more of them would take more time and effort than I'm willing to expend, so lets cut to the chase. Pros: Ending Credit sequence was kinda cool. Also, the movie ends. Cons: Everything else. Rating: .5 stars out of 5 Edit: Added spoiler tags just so no-one gets their panties in a knot. Perpetual fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Aug 2, 2008 |
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Aug 2, 2008 09:09
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 14:34 |
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I enjoyed the first 2 Mummy movies as well. Any time they're on TV, I'll watch a good portion of them. This one however, wasn't too great. The main appeal of the first two movies to me was the chemistry between the characters (namely Rick, Evie, and Jonathan) and the humor. This movie failed on both parts. Evie is COMPLETELY different from the previous movies because it's a new actress. After the first few sentences out of her mouth, me and my brother both looked at each other confused. Her accent and her personality were completely different that it was pretty jarring. I understand Maria Bello is making Evie her own character but I just couldn't get used to her and that didn't sit well with me the whole movie. And there's a "relationship" between the son and the Chinese chick which is unconvincing. What's with these American movies with white guys and asian chicks falling in love? It was terribly done in The Forbidden Kingdom and it was even worse here. Is it that hard? Alot of the humor also fell flat. There were some funny moments but a lot of the jokes were just bad. I'm a pretty forgiving guy when it comes to movies but this is a no-no. This is a mummy that should have stayed down. HA..ha..ha.. 1/5 The ending credits were pretty badass though. v After reading your review, it makes the movie a little better simply because of the amount of sheer absurdity. I , too was wondering about that trolley car. And the 3 limbs. And the Yetis. And how the parents look the same whereas the son is like 10 years older. AMazing. hmmxkrazee fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Aug 4, 2008 |
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Aug 3, 2008 09:31
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I can honestly say that that was easily the worst movie of the year. Everything about it was horrible and carried on ridiculously through the duration of the movie. It was as if there were no writers involved in this project, only the retarded best boy grip making up some semblance of a plotline as he went along. The third installment of The Mummy was absolutely hilarious in its flailing absurdity. I was laughing from beginning to end, starting with the first utterance of "long lost" in worst backstory ever concieved. How was Rick's son appointed head of an excavation after he dropped out of college? C'mon, can't you at least try to not set off all of the traps? How come all of the CG in this movie is of worse quality than that of the first Mummy? Why draw attention to the casting change? Why the gently caress did everyone survive that exploding trolley car? After being drawn and quatered, why did that general have three limbs? Yetis out of nowhere? This movie was the biggest WTF experience of the summer. 1/5
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Aug 3, 2008 12:16
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There's nothing wrong with seeing a lighthearted adventure movie, and that's exactly what I got with this new Mummy. For the first 45 minutes or so, I really loved it. Setting the story in China was an excellent decision, and it gave the series some added spice that might not have happened in a third go-around in Egypt. The director said something along the lines of seeing this movie as his opportunity to make a movie about China, and the opening story plays out sort of like a fantastical myth - it's a lot of fun. But when the first major action scene involving the chase through the streets with Jet Li and the horses arrived, I realized that the editing during the action scenes suffered from being cut far too quickly - it was hard to focus on what was happening. This occurs later in some scenes where I'd really like a longer, clearer shot - like the one-on-one fights with Jet Li, for example. Another problem was the recasting of Evy's role - I think that if you can't get the same actor back, you shouldn't have that role in the movie. That said, the transition was handled in a clever way and Maria Bello was fun to have in the movie. And that's what this kind of movie is really all about. Yetis random and unrealistic? Jet Li turning into a dragon? Cheesy one-liners? You bet. Not everything has to be a sophisticated masterpiece, and this is the kind of movie that I like to watch - it's silly fun. 3/5 - fun movie marred by unnecessary MTV-style editing in its action scenes
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Aug 5, 2008 01:11
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