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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > LF Goldmine > Reader's Digest: Humor in Uniform
Dr. West
Jul 25, 2007

Of course I first had to kill the man with some ingenious plan
This Pole comes up to me the other day and starts complaining that he has this terrible gas, so I say "NOT YET YOU DON'T!!"

SS-Gefreiter Hans Jürgs, Oświęcim, PO

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2008 07:19
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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 12:33
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Dr. West
Jul 25, 2007

Of course I first had to kill the man with some ingenious plan
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream, it's my nightmare. Crawling, slipping along the edge of a straight razor and surviving....But we must kill them, we must incinerate them, pig after pig, cow after cow, village after village, army after army, and they call me an assassin. What do you call it when the assassins accuse the assassin? They lie. They lie and we have to be merciful for those who lie, for those nabobs. I hate them. I do hate them.

Col Walter E. Kurtz, undisclosed location

* # ¿ Aug 9, 2008 07:31
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Dr. West
Jul 25, 2007

Of course I first had to kill the man with some ingenious plan

high hopes posted:

Here, I have with me an authentic reader's digest

My friend's son, serving in special forces overseas, was wounded in action and evacuated to a U.S. military hospital in Germany. My friend rushed over to see him, arriving in record time, and was by his bedside when he groggily regained conciousness.
His first words when he spotted her sitting there: "Oh god. Oh man oh gently caress I can't feel my legs. What have you bastards done with my legs? I CAN'T MOVE MY loving LEGS."

- Karen Dietrich
* # ¿ Aug 9, 2008 07:37
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > LF Goldmine > Reader's Digest: Humor in Uniform