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Baldrik
Apr 18, 2006

I never forget a pushy

There is a conversation in another room of my house that I desperately need to hear. I can listen through the vents directly underneath it and can get within one wall of the room where it's happening but i can't hear unless they are talking at a level slightly above normal, as in a laughing talk or excited talking. I've tried the wine glass thing, and I've tried a pint glass, but they only seem like they help if I put them over my other ear to block out ambient noise in my other ear. How can I enhance the audio quality and be able to make out what they are saying? I'm looking for tips and tricks.

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revenance
Sep 7, 2003

Forum GI Jane's
Katy can Google too

If porn has taught me anything, you just walk in and start undressing in front of your stepsister and her friend. They're definitely talking about you right now.

HAIL eSATA-n
Apr 7, 2007

the unfurled map of the universe


I heard that if you stop being so creepy your hearing improves.

Deadpan Science
Sep 6, 2005

by angerbeet


Pretend you're an air conditioning repair man and say you're fixing the vents, when in actuality you're planting a wireless listening device behind the vent.

Fucking Tough Guy
Aug 27, 2008

by Fistgrrl


Get a stethoscope.

Enigma89
Jan 2, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


Make a lot of noise so THEY listen to YOU.

Tiny Faye
Feb 16, 2005

Are you ready for an ORGAN SOLO?!


Go go gadget nosey douchebag.

Eyeball
Jun 4, 2008

by angerbeet


If you have a laptop and some ear buds, plug the ear buds into the laptop's microphone jack and try to snake the buds into the room in question, then fire up your favorite audio recording program and Bob's your uncle. You may not be able to listen in real time, though.

Hot Dog Hotline
Jul 24, 2004

Hello? Hello?

I'll tell you if you give us some back story

LostCause
Jun 27, 2003

by Peatpot


Staple ear to wall.

Big Wreck
Feb 8, 2004



Use that trusty gadget on your belt buckle that was alluded to earlier in the movie.

El Wombato
Mar 19, 2008

Mexican Marsupial

The sequel to this thread:

[Ask] me about restraining orders

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Just for fun why don't you provide us with a little backstory. You can call her Jane (because that's her name).

Yellow Rhymer
Jun 17, 2003


Just go inside the room with some stupid excuse and plant a recording device before you leave. A cell phone or an mp3 player.

Now that you are free, tell us what did you do to her.

Dr. Strangelove
Dec 30, 2004



climb into the vents

Tekninja
Dec 23, 2007
DIY Hacking Instructor

step 1) put a cell phone capable of speaker phone (and set to such) in the room, set to auto answer and silent

step 2) dial phone

Slippery
May 16, 2004



First, point to the door.

KingColliwog
May 15, 2003

Let's go droogs

Tekninja posted:

step 1) put a cell phone capable of speaker phone (and set to such) in the room, set to auto answer and silent

step 2) dial phone

Step 3) Make some noise so they find the cell phone and understand how creepy you are

Colawa
Oct 14, 2006

He came dancing across the water


"HEY CAN YOU SPEAK UP PLEASE"

Baldrik
Apr 18, 2006

I never forget a pushy

For those who said I'm creepy for asking this, you're right about that. I'm trying to eavesdrop on a girl who I've been dating for a few weeks now and her best friend who lives upstairs. She was spending the night up there for some sort of "girl's night" or something and they said they were going to talk about me all night. I just assumed they were joking because it's really none of my concern if they do or not, but curiosity got the better of me and this thread and a sore ear from pressing against the wall is the result. I'm starting to feel strongly about this girl and wondered how she felt about me and to know what she tells her friend about me would give me a pretty good indicator about her true feelings.

After a few minutes of trying to hear through the vents and walls and whatnot I was able to make out some of the conversation, just about some drama that I already knew about in her friend's life that she likes to rehash over and over again. Then at one point I made out the distinct words "I wonder if Baldrik can hear us through the vents?" I laughed to myself and said what a loving rear end in a top hat I was. I stopped listening then, though not because I'm not a loving rear end in a top hat, but because I wasn't hearing anything of consequence. So I went to bed.

There's your back story. And incidentally, I saw her friend this morning as she was going to work after my girl had left and she said some nice things to me that she had said last night and I felt all nice inside.

I'm looking into wireless spy cams now.

Biff Rockgroin
Jun 17, 2005

Go to commercial!

Knock on the door and yell, "I know you're talking about me in there you cunts so loving knock it off! Jesus, a guy jacks off to the Best Buy flyer in the dining room ONE TIME and now you assholes are calling a "house meeting" I got news for you, I grew up in this house, so good luck kicking me out! Mom! Listen! Dad broke your porcelain kitten Gram-gram gave you last Christmas and he blamed it on the dog and told me not to tell. HA! gently caress you dad! Now YOU'RE the one who's in trouble!"

Works every time.

Vashro
May 12, 2004


Baldrik posted:

I'm looking into wireless spy cams now.

Can I cut the cake at your perfect wedding?

err
Apr 11, 2005

by angerbot


You're a creepy goon

Smeed
Mar 22, 2008

Rhetorical questions only

Why dont you just ask them to speak up a little bit?

NeverOddorEven
Dec 8, 2005


Baldrik posted:

I'm looking into wireless spy cams now.

That is a perfectly logically next step. Make sure you get audio feed as well, otherwise what is the point?

Mithra6
Jan 24, 2006

Elvis is dead, Sinatra is dead, and me I feel also not so good.

Actually they were having sex with each other. Your GF was just rubbin' and rubbin' and rubbin' her BFF's clit.

LloydDobler
Oct 15, 2005
You must think I'm a dick.

I hope the first thing you hear is "I really like him but I'm dumping him because he has trust issues."

SconZ
Dec 9, 2006
40,000 men and women every day

Stick your cock in the electrical socket.

theo400
Jun 30, 2004


Buy this

http://gadget.brando.com.hk/prod_de...p?prod_id=00455

Baldrik
Apr 18, 2006

I never forget a pushy

LloydDobler posted:

I hope the first thing you hear is "I really like him but I'm dumping him because he has trust issues."

Trust issues have nothing to do with it, I just wonder about what people say about me when I'm not around. I'm sure everyone's wondered this from time to time because you know that when you are around someone you sometimes treat them nicer than you actually feel about them just to be kind. Even if something irks you about them, most times we'll just smile. Imagine if you knew what it was about your personality that annoyed other people? I bet you'd change it if it wasn't something major.

I feel pretty secure about myself and I like my personality and other people seem to like me too, but I believe everyone has personality "flaws" or mannerisms that annoy others and they perhaps are unaware of them. If I can, I'd get rid of them in myself.

LostCause
Jun 27, 2003

by Peatpot


Baldrik posted:

I feel pretty secure about myself and I like my personality and other people seem to like me too, but I believe everyone has personality "flaws" or mannerisms that annoy others and they perhaps are unaware of them. If I can, I'd get rid of them in myself.

Maybe attempting to go to extreme lengths to listen to other peoples private conversations is one of them.

AssCobra
May 14, 2003

On Her Majestys Secret Butt

LloydDobler posted:

I hope the first thing you hear is "I really like him but I'm dumping him because he has trust issues."

Oh c'mon. Who hasn't AT LEAST wanted to do this? I'm sure most of us have actually used sneaky means to get information that wasn't for us once or twice. Yes, it's creepy but as long as this isn't a pattern what's the harm? Dumb kid doing the kind stuff dumb kids do?! SHOCKING!

Build yourself a parabolic mic.

Enfenestrate
Oct 18, 2004


this cat is not chill

AssCobra posted:

Oh c'mon. Who hasn't AT LEAST wanted to do this? I'm sure most of us have actually used sneaky means to get information that wasn't for us once or twice. Yes, it's creepy but as long as this isn't a pattern what's the harm? Dumb kid doing the kind stuff dumb kids do?! SHOCKING!

Build yourself a parabolic mic.

There's a difference between trying to hear what's being said and asking the internet for help being a creep.

On that note, OP go ask in SPE or SH/SC and see if all the smartypantses in those forums have any ideas. And then go ask in DIY for help building the device. What a great resource the internet is for stalkers.

OP if you're eavesdropping on the girl after only a few weeks I can't wait to see what a jealous, possessive, insecure lunatic you turn into as the months go by.

Baldrik
Apr 18, 2006

I never forget a pushy

Enfenestrate posted:

There's a difference between trying to hear what's being said and asking the internet for help being a creep.

On that note, OP go ask in SPE or SH/SC and see if all the smartypantses in those forums have any ideas. And then go ask in DIY for help building the device. What a great resource the internet is for stalkers.

OP if you're eavesdropping on the girl after only a few weeks I can't wait to see what a jealous, possessive, insecure lunatic you turn into as the months go by.

Get over yourself, nobody is this 'moral'. If you're saying that you wouldn't be curious about what your girlfriend has to say about you when she announces that she's going to be talking about you all night to a friend then you're a loving liar. I guess anyone who's ever uttered the expression "oh to be a fly on the wall" is a jealous, possessive, insecure lunatic as well! Thanks for the psychiatric insight.

AssCobra
May 14, 2003

On Her Majestys Secret Butt

Enfenestrate posted:

There's a difference between trying to hear what's being said and asking the internet for help being a creep.

Yeah... The difference is this kid is showing a little initiative, and if the internet isn't for finding new and better ways to be creepy you might want to let pretty much EVERYONE ON THE loving INTERNET know that because apparently no one told them.

I don't condone what he's doing, but like I said most of us have done something similar. He's just trying to do it better. There's a faint odor of hypocrisy in here.

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


Baldrik posted:

Get over yourself, nobody is this 'moral'. If you're saying that you wouldn't be curious about what your girlfriend has to say about you when she announces that she's going to be talking about you all night to a friend then you're a loving liar. I guess anyone who's ever uttered the expression "oh to be a fly on the wall" is a jealous, possessive, insecure lunatic as well! Thanks for the psychiatric insight.

As a female, when a girlfriend says she's going to be talking about you all night, she's just teasing. One might even say it was a loving sort of joke, something that should have gone right in one ear and out the other - not something you should take deadly seriously. Most likely they were going to talk about your girlfriend's friend's problems and she didn't want to break her word to her friend not to tell you about the abortion she's considering or should she break up with Brad or whatever.

But go on believing that your girlfriend thinks of nothing but you when she's away from you.

Spiffy
Dec 15, 2003

by Ozma


put in earbuds and tape the wire to whatever resonates the most like metal or the cups you already tried or some poo poo I don't know just close this thread.

I can't make you less creepy but maybe less people will waste their time reading this thread. Also, your girlfriend will probably leave you when she finds this out.

mayormcch33z
May 8, 2007

by Fragmaster


LostCause posted:

Maybe attempting to go to extreme lengths to listen to other peoples private conversations is one of them.

Haha bingo. Thinking about it and doing it are two different things. You're creepy man I'm sorry to say.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

Baldrik posted:

Get over yourself, nobody is this 'moral'. If you're saying that you wouldn't be curious about what your girlfriend has to say about you when she announces that she's going to be talking about you all night to a friend then you're a loving liar. I guess anyone who's ever uttered the expression "oh to be a fly on the wall" is a jealous, possessive, insecure lunatic as well! Thanks for the psychiatric insight.

Yes, we're all curious. However those of us who have "morals" (I like how you put that in quotes, as though morals are something out of fairy tales) don't go eavesdropping to find out. If you end up dating her long term, are you going to go through her call logs on her cell phone when she's in the bathroom? Maybe read her email to see if she's been writing about you?

There's a difference between being curious and invading someone's privacy. The first part is normal. The second part makes you weird and creepy.

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LloydDobler
Oct 15, 2005
You must think I'm a dick.

Besides, it can't possibly end well. At some point you'll slip because you know something you shouldn't know, and she'll end up calling her friend a bitch and ruining their friendship, or she'll accuse you of spending time with her friend and her friend talks about her and it'll ruin YOUR friendship, or... or... or...

Jesus, have you never watched a sitcom?

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