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Oligopsony
May 17, 2007
I want to thank you, Anteater for President, for the opportunity to have spoken with the members of the forum that I am a member of. And that's what the people of America are really goin' for, they're asking "what's on Sarah Palin's mind? Gee, I wonder what she would be thinking if she were thinking at me through the filtering of the mainstream news anchors and buzzwords and spin." Well that's what I'm here today for, Anteater. We're going to see some real change in this country, and isn't change what we need? We'll receive change from the same old east coast politicians, but we'll sure get it from a maverick who's not afraid to answer the hard questions that real americans are wondering, not distorted through the lens of the talking heads and pundits like yourself, Gwenn, god bless ya.

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Oligopsony
May 17, 2007

Zephro posted:

What is the ninth amendment to the constitution

A bunch of long years ago, our blessed founding fathers concieved of liberty, and secured our nation for freedom and independence. But once they did that they knew that freedom wasn't free, so they got together and put country first. So just as soon as America was free of all the "international consensus" that Joe wants us to be, they said, hey, we need a way to protect our freedoms from all the people that hate them, the people to whom we are known today as communists and terrorists. And that's what the constitution is for and it's protected us from 1776 to today.

Jmdg posted:

Why are we not bombing Israel?

Israel is our greatest ally, and so of course a lot of folks are asking, hey, why aren't we bombing Israel? Well the answer is that there are a lot of dangerous people out there, Mahmoud Ahmidenijad, the dictator of Iran, for one, who want to wipe Israel off the map, and we can't allow that. Now there are some people who have been worrying maybe that I might not support Israel only because of the predictions of the Bible, which guides my heart and the so many hearts across this great nation. Well, I won't get into the reasons for that. But I will say that some of my best friends are Israels.

ALFbrot posted:

Who won the Rays/White Sox game yesterday

You know, ALFbrot, I feel ashamed to say it, but I missed the big game yesterday because I was too busy, so you'd have to ask my dear men "T and T!" *winks* Now I don't think Americans are too interested in the exact reasons why I was too busy, after all it was very boring, I sure do wish I could be watching our national pasttime, as so many of our working families do enjoy! But I will assure you that as vice president I will find a proper balance between keeping up with that perhaps less interesting stuff and spending time with my family, gee isn't it sexist to suggest that I couldn't find a balance of both, I don't agree with our current president on everything but I do think he has found that balance, because for all his mistakes he understands that the most important thing in the world is the family. Go Polar Bears!

Zephro posted:

What is the capital of Australia

Australia was founded by a penal colony, and that means a place to send prisoners, a place into exile. And being someone from small town government America I can assure you that our nation's capital sometimes feels like that to me. Everyone from Washington wants to say, hey, let's always use Washington as the solution, and it takes outside mavericks like John McCain and me to rein them in and say, no, the solution is in America. Because conservatives often feel imprisoned by the east coast culture of Washington. And what that really does is imprison all of us. And what I'm going here to do is to overthrow what many small Americans know as a foreign power, big government Washington, like mavericks like our nation and Australia did to England.

Oligopsony
May 17, 2007

Danny Cadaver posted:

How are John McCain's loveless marriages more legitimate than one between a loving homosexual couple?

My dear guy Todd, he'll always be the man in my life. We love each other so much it could make the polar ice caps melt, if in fact they are melting. We both know that the last thing we could ever want is for the government to redefine our marriage, as activist judges all across the big cities want to do for us. That's not what our diverse family wants, Danny, because like our constitution says, don't covet your neighbor's wife and sure as heck don't covet your neighbor's rear end! *giggle* And I understand that most Americans think the bond between a man and a woman is a sacred bond in our society, and we have to respect that.

The Saurus posted:

roe vs wade vs no roe vs wade?

The Saurus, I'm afraid that since unlike some people I was never raised in a law school, I was raised in real America where we value our families, I can't be familiar with every court case that some judge or judge may or may not have legislated from the bench, so I'll have to get back to you on the case of "Noro vs Wade." But on Roe vs Wade I can assure you that I don't know what my opponent would do if he were pregnant, but I can sure tell you that I chose life and always will as the president or vice president of our great nation.

Zephro posted:

what sound does a duck make

That sure is an easy one for any hockey mom, Zeph!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUCKS!

iw posted:

let's suppose that we have captured a terrorist that knows the location of a nuclear bomb that is going to go off in less than 24 hours, but he will not tell us the location. what do you think is the best way to torture this terrorist?

You know it's such a shame that there are people out there who dont' value human liberty or kindness. And the prospect that we should surrender to these people and say hey, here ya go, here's the keys ta my house, that's just unpatriotic and I promise you that I will never do that. These are people who don't think that life is worth it, whether it's their own lives or the lives of hardworking Americans or the lives our precious babies murdered by their own mothers, gosh, what a tragedy. And I will not negotiate with them but would, as my nice young friend Levi would say, "get medieval" on them. These are people who want to return us to the middle ages before our founding fathers and "going medieval" as the hockey kids up here in small town Alaksa say is the only language to speak to them.

GyroFry posted:

why is spain

Spain because our great nation, because we cannot afford to sit down unconditionally with terrorists, that is the thing that John McCain was saying. People all across America are aware that you can't pull out to assure liberty, and that's what we want to say to the President of Spain, Emiliano Zapata, who is the leader that Hugo Chavez admires so much. So if Zapata will not get his forces out of Chipias and into Iraq then darn tootin', it is a principle of any McCain-Palin administration that we will not negotiate with anyone except in the interests of our nation.

Black Market posted:

if you were performing oral sex on me, would you find it offensive if i told you to look me in the eye and call me todd?

You aren't a boy from Miss Hawkin's seventh grade class are you? Ever since a certain person whom I knew recieved the greatest gift of her life those boys have been saying such cruel things about me, and while I haven't heard the Obama camp condemn them I sure as heck do. Well I can assure you that first of all, if you are, I will use the report button, because as defined by this website's owner it is for people who are old enough to vote, and that is a property right that I will respect as the country's second chief law enforcer in this administration. And secondly I can assure you that you will be getting no extra credit for this debate, young man.

Jimmy Thief posted:

why is your womb infinitely fertile?

Scriptures 44:4 says that ye shall be as a quiver full of arrows, and I am so fortunate as to have the Lord have blessed me and will continue to bless me, with Trak and Willow and Piper and Trig, wow such great kids, and Hunt and Goose and Task and Gipper, as the Lord has been so kind to me as He God willing has. And for all those Americans out there who are struggling to pray for fertility, keep praying to discern what God has in store for you, perhaps God wants you to save a child through adoption, which is so much better a way to improve the lives of children than the federal government, as millions of unfertile Americans like Cindy have done.

Nigmenog posted:

Can I have a job, maybe like head of FEMA, or some poo poo like that, once you get into office? Remember we used to go to the Book Barn together on Saturdays because it was double dollar days and we could buy all sorts of books and we went together are we still friends Sarah-Bear?

Darn tootin' you can! John McCain and I understand the value of friendship and loyalty, and you sure as heck know that the values you and I grew up in in Alaska maybe aren't the values that big time politicans in Washington to aspire. Now as Vice President John McCain will be president by who the shots are called, not myself, but as the Vice President I sure can make recommendations for qualified servant leaders from our small towns who we know and trust so well. As a Book Barn buddy, how would you feel if I recommended for you the Song of Ice and Fire?

frest posted:

Governor, could you please specify what exact reform measures you believe are in order for Wall Street?

OneArmedScissor posted:

How much do you really love your dumb rear end son and your slut daughter???

Personally I am really offended that someone would refer to joining our great nation's military as "dumb tush." That's a really unfortunate attitude today among the people who spat on John McCain and our other nation's great heroes, and it's the kind of attitude that cost John Kerry the election when he let on that hey, us east coast politicians are a lot smarter than those people who end up in Iraq, those small town boys and girls who are so dear to my heart and Jesus'. They are the real heroes, the real smart people who will save our nation as they have so many times in the past, not Washington bureaucrats as some people think.

JethroMcB posted:

so I'm guessing that the joke is bootamps won't ever post in this thread again?

that actually would have been really funny and much less of a waste of time

Oligopsony
May 17, 2007

Never Been Banned posted:

i'm gay

I understand your pain and the pain of so many people across our great nation. Everywhere I go, people are saying hey, Sarah, there ain't so way we can pay our gas bills, Sarah, I'm worried about sending my kids to college. Joe over there has told you a lot about his solution to problems, the government solution that just takes money away from ordinary people like Todd and I and gives it to people like Obama, liberal elites who think they can spend money better than you. I don't want anyone to think that the Republicans are less sensitive to your suffering than the Democrat Party is, we just believe in the people, is all. So under McCain's health care plan, you would get a $5,000 tax credit to go to the therapist of your choice for your condition. Under Senator Hussein's plan to Washington your doctors you would not even have coverage for conversion therapy. We're running on a platform of change and there's no one we'd like to change more than you.

BootStrap posted:

Why won't my wife perform oral sex on me?

Scriptures 17:76 says a wife is to graciously submit to her husband, and sure what I do for Todd, except when he leaves his stinky underwear around the house. *giggles* But I suppose the thing which you are looking for from me is some insight on how to get to clean up your graft, right? Well, let me give you some insight into the feminine spirit: women want to be mothers. Even if that's not what she's sayin', she wants motherhood, and that's why I'm willing to sign legislation that will look out for all women's long-term interests. And as a servant leader you should remember that her submission to you has conditionality on the condition that Christ's headship is submitting to you. So if you want to do "the anal" or to lay your pipeline, make sure to put your baby dust where it'll so some good for ya. Women out there, I know that sex maybe is not ain't the funnest thing in the world, Lord knows we'd all prefer to clean up the house, like I plan on cleaning up the government, but it keeps our dear men happy and provides our families. Let's all not forget that sex isn't just some Hollywood extravaganza, you know, something into that so many young people are pressured by the media, but where the family comes from, and soldiers.

quote:

What's the nickname of the NBA franchise owned by Mark Cuban?

Mark Cuban says he owns the Mavericks. Well, let me tell ya something: nobody owns these mavericks! All you people out there, I can look ya in the eye and say: you won't have to worry about Sarah Barracuda or her teammate being owned the Washington lobbyists, by the teachers' unions, Amnesty International, any of that. We we're not in the pocket of trial lawyers, big science, Mark Cuban or any other Cuban, sure as heck not the Castro Brothers. John McCain and I are prepared to raise our arms high and shoot for the score, and in the battle of skins I sure bet Americans would like to see my skin for the next four eight or gosh maybe sixteen years than Barack Obama's.

quote:

Mrs. Palin, what do you think of your neighbors to the east, Canada?

Let me tell you something I learned up in Alaska that the Washington reporters might not be fully appreciated by them. You can't stare down a Polar Bear if you can't see him. I looked into Stephen Harper's eyes and only saw three letters, one in each eye, a U, an H, and a C. I will never hesitate to back down from America's enemies, whether they are in Spain or Canada or al Quaeda or anywhere. Some people say that there's no bear and some say it's a friendly bear, but if there is a bear and he's dangerous maybe don't you think you want someone who's a crack shot from a helicopter? Now I understand that there may be the possibility that when John and I are elected that Canada will be the nation that gave to the thousands of haven a safe refuge for those who hate America. Now some people say we should be soft on them but let me tell you if you get in trouble with the Canadian government they sure don't read you the Mandela rights, they sure don't read you this 4th ammendment that activist judges are going on for. If we have intelligible actionance I'll sure as a whip not read them their Mandingo rights because freedom is too precious to be risking.

Oligopsony
May 17, 2007

Kekekela posted:

Can you elaborate on your understanding of General Makavelli's plan for Afghanistan?

I can't recite to you exactly the words he said but I am aware that he and every other military of our member would endorse the general counterinsurgency principles that worked for us in the surge, thanks to John McCain. We need a focus to basic principles, keeping to the basic morals we believe in above all else, strong principles like with worked in Iraq. We can't surrender in the war on terror, some people say they want Iran and North Korea to love us, well I say it sure would be better for them to fear us! In this world you can be a wimpy little fox or a big strong lion, well you know what I would rather be. John McCain has the virtue necessary to be a leader and I can assure you that his reward is in the next life where he'll darn tootin' enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes.

crispyseaweed posted:

What is a "main-streeter" and where would your ideal Main St. be?

Let me tell you about one of my experiences as a hockey mom. One day my precious star Piper signed up for a video game about Toon Town, USA, with right in the middle of it a Main Street, Toon Town, USA in the middle of Toon Town in Disneyland. Well in this game which I thought would be fun for young Piper you play a Disney character who is trying to save Main Street Toon Town from vicious blocks, kind of like John and me are trying to save Main Street right now. Well it turns out that some know-it-alls wanted to ruin, or "grief," the fun of these poor little children so that they couldn't play the game. They would sign in as Goofy or Pluto or whatever and make it so the kids playing the real game couldn't solve it, solve the problem with the blocks which is the problems which we are having on Main Street from Wall Street. The people who do that sort of thing are people who don't believe in the little people's ability to solve problems, elitists, people who don't believe in the free market but in Washington, people who want a bigger government. And I can tell ya that I'll take as much serious in cleaning up my Main Street as precious Piper did.

Whilst farting I posted:

What's your husband's middle name and how does that tie into your personal experiences with Germany?

I grew up in small town America, farting, where we didn't believe you had to go to a big name university and study abroad or learn a foreign language or a foreign country's history to understand what made you a person ready to be a leader. And sometimes when winter equinox comes and I peer out into the telescope that I bought for my future scientist Trig that I can look just a bit o'er yonder and see antarctica which is jointly owned by all the countries in the world, Germany included, jointly owned by everyone which is really the UN and Democrat vision of the world, wouldn't that be a nightmare, gosh. And this drive to subordinate all aspects of American policy to international opinion is incredibly dangerous to our founding fathers, Whilst, and that's why I'm having to say my disappointment that the mainstream media lets the Prime Minister of Germany have such a say in our politics. Andrea Mitchell is already beholden to eight hundred million people who came out to heil Obama in the country she is the leader of, and the fact that our news media lets her host her own show and serve as a very important anchor and interviewer is just unacceptable in a nonpartisan country like ours.