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Animaestro
Apr 10, 2008



Many of you goons may be parents (unfortunately for your children) and many may just daydream about it. In this thread, put your deepest fears as a parent to paint and show the world!

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hellbastard
Apr 4, 2006



I should have made it a 4WD...

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Monster of the Day
Sep 26, 2007
“Ignorance breeds monsters to fill up the vacancies of the soul that are unoccupied by the verities of knowledge”-Horrace Mann

OPTIMUS NOOOOOOO!

What are these pies
Jul 22, 2008




Inspired by a kid I know. And..... dated.

Vitae
Apr 12, 2004

MECH VITAE is already stupid.

not so much about the kids as the after result of having kids.

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Chocolate Milk
May 7, 2008

More tea, Wesley?

Being left alone with something cute and small that depends on me.

Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

What are these pies
Jul 22, 2008


Kruxy posted:



Oh god.... This too.

Darardusaki
Mar 25, 2005

"And God said, 'let there be piggyback rides,' and there were piggyback rides, and He saw that they were good."

Kruxy posted:



Hahaha, oh my gosh, that is the cutest baby ever.



I'm afraid of marrying a hot manly man and us being fertile and having like ten babies at once and being fat and pregnant all the time. Also fostering slutty girls and skuzzy, pimply redneck teenagers. And having a dead child.

Ugh. Ugh. I hope my husband is sterile, what a nightmare.

Animaestro
Apr 10, 2008



I live in Texas.

Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

Elp
Aug 23, 2006

Call me a naive college boy, but I was hoping not to immediately throw my lot with the forces of insanity and darkness...

I fear creating a trendwhore who can't comprehend rhetoric, logic, or common sense.

xynder
Jul 2, 2007


Kruxy posted:



oh christ...

Animaestro
Apr 10, 2008



Kruxy posted:



You're making me slip into depression

Elp
Aug 23, 2006

Call me a naive college boy, but I was hoping not to immediately throw my lot with the forces of insanity and darkness...

The good news is that a baby cannot asphyxiate in the womb. I personally was born strangled. You'll note that I'm still very much alive thanks to some timely intervention. (Breathing must occur before the cord is cut.)

Unless, of course, the baby was dead to begin with (like I suspected), then you've got some kind of perfect storm of torment.

Pete Campbell
Feb 23, 2006

Same price as a chip and dip!


Kruxy posted:


You are amazing.

Vehementer
Sep 24, 2006

All Singing All Dancing!

Simple - The DNA test confirms it, It's your child.

redpython
Sep 16, 2006

You remind me of the babe!

Kruxy posted:



Friends of ours just had this exact thing happen, and the likeness is uncanny. I'm printing this and making christmas cards. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't...or should I??

PaleInkedBoy
Jun 28, 2008

You're Not Welcome?




Not that they'd be there.
So...consider this someone else's house.
No kids yet, but this would be one of my worst fears...that and gigantic heads.

Ms. Fabulosity!
Aug 31, 2008




I AM THE ANTITHREAD
I EVEN USED PHOTOSHOP-- NOT MSPAINT-- FUCKERS!!

Seriously i'll kill myself if I ever end up pregnant. gently caress that i'm going on vacation, not spending money on some sniveling brat.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Piss Bart
Dec 14, 2007

Ay, caramba!



My future child is gon' have the dirtiest mouth ever.

Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

WeaponX
Jul 28, 2008

horror..horror has a face

HelterSkeletor
Oct 7, 2005

by T. Finn


Kruxy posted:



This was my biggest fear really. Don't know what I would have done.

CrunchyTaco
Dec 25, 2007



Kruxy posted:



I know it makes me a horrible person or something, but I would not be able to handle that. I want my kid to be just like me.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004



HelterSkeletor posted:

This was my biggest fear really. Don't know what I would have done.

Mine too, not specifically downs, it's pretty drat rare for parents of my wife's and I age, but who knows what other things could go wrong?
So paranoid

HelterSkeletor
Oct 7, 2005

by T. Finn


echinopsis posted:

Mine too, not specifically downs, it's pretty drat rare for parents of my wife's and I age, but who knows what other things could go wrong?
So paranoid

Are you still waiting? God it's the worst.

Every parenting book would have a list of all the poo poo that could go wrong and you have to consider all the nightmarish options. Either way good luck to ya.

Elp
Aug 23, 2006

Call me a naive college boy, but I was hoping not to immediately throw my lot with the forces of insanity and darkness...

Welcome to poorly thought out nightmare #2:


ada shatan
Oct 20, 2004

that'll do pig, that'll do

WeaponX posted:



C'mon. They don't get their spots until shortly after childbirth. Totally unreal.

Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

Elp
Aug 23, 2006

Call me a naive college boy, but I was hoping not to immediately throw my lot with the forces of insanity and darkness...

Petroleum Jello posted:

filthy mouth'ed child

I shouldn't find that hilarious, I shouldn't.

Kruxy posted:

Do you have a son?

I hope you still do.

Weaponx posted:

He is not the father!

Embarrassing!

JoachimLPQ
Nov 8, 2006

JFYM


Kruxy posted:

horribleness

You are a terrible person. First making me laugh with space marine sex, and now...well...making me laugh at terribly inappropriate poo poo.

What are these pies
Jul 22, 2008


Honestly, kruxy, you are making me want to curl into a ball and die.

And I can't help but wonder if I really want to risk having babies... sheesh...

Dresh
Jun 15, 2008

hrmph.




It's a harlequin.

Boat
May 23, 2006

WOODEN BOATS IN RETIREMENT YEARS


Dresh posted:

It's a harlequin.

This is far funnier than it has any right to be.

It's equal parts depressing and hilarious up in here. I like this thread.

Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

JoachimLPQ
Nov 8, 2006

JFYM


Kruxy posted:



Yeah, i'd be pretty loving horrified if my child appeared in a CAD strip too.

Animaestro
Apr 10, 2008



Olanphonia
Jul 27, 2006

I'm open to suggestions~

Kruxy posted:



Jesus man, you are just a factory of depressing pictures

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Kruxy
May 19, 2004

I don't want to eat you! I just want some water!

I'm so thirsty!

My name is Scrambles and I'm lost!

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