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Shatner
Apr 27, 2006
Cpt. Kirk

I'm impatient and the banks aren't open on Columbus Day (Today). I opened my mailbox today to find a "Sorry We Missed You" note from the postal service. The sender was reported as "Sheriff: Marshall County," from the county I used to live in before college. I live in Ohio County now, about 30 minutes away, for school.

Why would I receive this note from the post office when:

1)I haven't lived in Marshall County for at least 2 months.
2)I haven't been convicted/arrested for anything. Ever.

I want you to tell me what the letter could be.

Here are some details:
It's apparently certified mail
It's got the customer name listed as "My Name/ For P Jenkins"
(I've never heard of the name "P Jenkins" - name has been changed)

Could this be a jury duty letter? Could it be a summons? Could this be some kind of prosecution? Why does it say "For P Jenkins?" I'm nervous.

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Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

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I could be pretty much any of those things you listed. I doubt it's worth being concerned about. Obviously jack-booted thugs aren't going to knock down your door and drag you off to jail or they wouldn't have sent a letter. Certified does probably mean something official. Maybe this Jenkins is suing you or thinks you witnessed something and is serving you notice. That's how I found out I was being sued from a car accident, if I remember correctly. Just get the letter tomorrow and relax in the meantime. There's nothing else you can do about it now.

TinLizzleIzzle
Feb 7, 2007
I hate my job, I hate school, I hate my desk, I hate my chair and I hate stupid people.

It sounds like either a subpoena or a summons. They don't send jury duty notices certified mail.

Shatner
Apr 27, 2006
Cpt. Kirk

I just realized my newphew's first initial is P and last name is Jenkins. I didn't make the connection at first because my sister's (his mother's) last name has changed a lot. He is a minor, and his parents are in some kind of divorce proceeding. Could this be related?

Oh Adaira
May 7, 2008

On a mountain of kittens, in the castle of purring, I sat on a throne of milkcrates!
What was will be!
What is will be no more! Now is the season of Bachelorchat!

Possibly summoning you to testify on either one's behalf for custody of your nephew? I would think they would have talked to you about if first.

Maneki Neko
Oct 27, 2000



Shatner posted:

I just realized my newphew's first initial is P and last name is Jenkins. I didn't make the connection at first because my sister's (his mother's) last name has changed a lot. He is a minor, and his parents are in some kind of divorce proceeding. Could this be related?

That sounds plausible. Thinking back, I don't think I've ever gotten anything good via certified mail.

adorai
Nov 2, 2002

10/27/04 Never forget

Maneki Neko posted:

That sounds plausible. Thinking back, I don't think I've ever gotten anything good via certified mail.
if it was good they wouldn't need to send it certified.

MrHyde
Dec 17, 2002

Hello, Ladies


Shatner posted:

I just realized my newphew's first initial is P and last name is Jenkins. I didn't make the connection at first because my sister's (his mother's) last name has changed a lot. He is a minor, and his parents are in some kind of divorce proceeding. Could this be related?

Given that the name on the envelope is your nephew's name, I'm going to say yeah probably related.

Ygolonac
Nov 26, 2007

Seeing animals in pain is fucking HILARIOUS. Can't crop that out, Buddy!


Could be that good ol' "P Jenkins" put your name down as a contact point for some reason, and as they can't get hold of the target suspect indictee "person of interest" through their normal address, they've moved down the list to you.

It might even be an unrelated person doing the same thing; I once got a contact notice regarding a subpoena (not certified - a business card left at my door or something) regarding someone who lied about his address. (Lived here ten years, never heard of the person in question; the people who rented this apartment before me were in 5+ years, I understand, and they weren't that name either.)

Aineris
Oct 10, 2005

NO YOU CANNOT WATCH TV OR GO FOR A WALK!

Why won't you just go get it and open it already? Good Lord. It could be anything.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

A gift from Coyote! Nothing could possibly go wrong here!


'sup Ohio County goon, where're you going to school? West Lib? Bethany? Hope life north of the narrows is treating you well.

I doubt this is directly related to the divorce proceeding, as a minor I find it really strange that they'd send a letter to him, but the name thing is strange. The solution here I believe is to call them and ask, go and get it, or wait until tomorrow. Being that you're admittedly impatient, I'd call them.

Beaters
Jun 27, 2004

SOWING SEEDS
OF MISERY SINCE 1937
FRYING LIKE A FRITO
IN THE SKILLET
OF HADES
SINCE 1975


adorai posted:

if it was good they wouldn't need to send it certified.

This is usually true. The only reason to send something certified is to have evidence that the recipient accepted delivery of the item. So, usually it's related to bad legal stuff for somebody.

If I were the OP I'd call up P Jenkins and ask what's up before accepting the letter. Otherwise let it be returned to sender. The odds of it being some cop wanting to do you a kindness are pretty damned slim.

kapalama
Aug 15, 2007

EVERYTHING I SAY ABOUT JAPAN OR LIVING IN JAPAN IS COMPLETELY WRONG, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'LL ABOUT IT.

PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR IGNORE LIST.

IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A JAPAN THREAD, PLEASE PM A MODERATOR SO THAT I CAN BE BANNED.


How come no one is showing any imagination? The OP asked what it could be, and you guys are all talking about what it probably is. That's not fun.

It could be a check for $25,000 made out to "Cash".

Beaters
Jun 27, 2004

SOWING SEEDS
OF MISERY SINCE 1937
FRYING LIKE A FRITO
IN THE SKILLET
OF HADES
SINCE 1975


kapalama posted:

How come no one is showing any imagination? The OP asked what it could be, and you guys are all talking about what it probably is. That's not fun.

It could be a check for $25,000 made out to "Cash".

If it is, it's a scam to get him/her arrested. Cops pull scams like that some times.

If I were to make a bet, I'd bet they want to either interrogate him or bust him. If it were a check like that, they wouldn't even send it certified. Certified is lawyer or bill collector crap as a rule. We used to use it for mailing stock certificates back in the old days when I worked for a company that did that sort of thing. Items with real cash value need to be sent registered or by insured mail depending on the value.

With Certified Mail™ you can be sure your article arrived at its destination with access to online delivery information. When you use Certified Mail, you receive a receipt stamped with the date of mailing. A unique article number allows you to verify delivery online. As an additional security feature, the recipient’s signature is obtained at the time of delivery and a record is maintained by the Post Office™. For an additional fee, you can request a copy of the signature record before or after delivery with Return Receipt.

Track & Confirm : Get the date, time, and ZIP Code™ of your delivery online.
New Option: Send Certified Mail through Click2Mail. Return Receipt and Restricted Delivery also available.

You can use Certified Mail with:

First-Class Mail® - Letters, envelopes, and small packages weighing 13 ounces or less.
Priority Mail® - Cost-effective expedited delivery in an average of 2-3 days.

You can use Certified Mail with the following Extra Services:

Restricted Delivery - Confirms that only a specified person (or authorized agent) will receive a piece of mail. Only available with Certified Mail, Insured Mail over $200, or Registered Mail™.

Return Receipt - Provides a green postcard with the recipient’s actual signature by mail or a proof of delivery letter arriving as a PDF attachment that includes an image of the recipient’s signature by e-mail.


Certified mail is all about proving the recipient got something after the fact. It's more secure than simple confirmation of delivery, which is what most people like Ebay vendors use.

guaranteed
Nov 24, 2004

Do not take apart gun by yourself, it will cause the trouble and dangerous.

Aineris posted:

Why won't you just go get it and open it already? Good Lord. It could be anything.

Because the post office was closed yesterday?

perianwyr
Sep 20, 2004

space moo

Never, ever take possession of certified mail if you don't know what it is.

Remulak
Jun 8, 2001
The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics. Oh, and that stupid children's book 'The Little Prince,' ugh.

perianwyr posted:

Never, ever take possession of certified mail if you don't know what it is.
This is where being a grownup sucks.

You actually have to open your certified mail

If you don't you won't know that you're about to get sued over a $32 bill you've already paid, or somesuch other poo poo.

Endor
Aug 15, 2001



guaranteed posted:

Because the post office was closed yesterday?

Which he stated in the opening post, champ. And the post office is open today so what's the fuckin' holdup?

7744
Mar 27, 2003

It had no choice. Their defense grid was smashed. We'd won. Taking out Carr then would make no difference. Skynet had to wipe out his entire existence!


He's probably in a holding cell

Tetragrammaton
Aug 10, 2004
Hello, do you sell any turquiose plastic pith helmets?

kapalama posted:

How come no one is showing any imagination? The OP asked what it could be, and you guys are all talking about what it probably is. That's not fun.


Okay. Some internet detective managed to track down the OP's home address. This internet detective hates the OP's guts and he wishes to ruin his life. The internet detective makes a long drive to Ohio County, parks his vehicle down the street and creeps up to the OP's house with his laptop computer in tow. Our crafty and wily internet detective gains access to the OP's unsecure wireless internet connection. He proceeds to download reams and reams of illegal pornography using the OP's internet connection. He then flees the scene only to anonymously report to the Ohio County Sheriff the next day that the OP has been downloading illegal material. Days later a letter is posted certified mail to the OP telling him that he is under investigation and they specifically ask him to hand over his computer for forensic analysis.

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guaranteed
Nov 24, 2004

Do not take apart gun by yourself, it will cause the trouble and dangerous.

Endor posted:

Which he stated in the opening post, champ. And the post office is open today so what's the fuckin' holdup?

Well, chief, don't know whether you noticed this, but he hasn't been back to the thread since the post office opened, and Aineris was acting like OP was asking us instead of going to the post office, so I answered him. But thanks for lending your intellect, it was a big help.

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