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wren posted:I had my scans this morning. There are two new tumors and my lungs are apparently full of blood clots. I am going to start on Stutent as soon as possible, and give myself two injections of Lovenox to dissolve the clots. Apparently in the last three months the chemo became ineffective. They will treat the tumors with radiation when they become painful--which sounds palliative. They want me to lay off the painkillers I guess so I can tell when the tumors are worse. Been lurking in this thread for ages and checked in today to see if there was an update about your scans. I'm so sorry it was bad news.
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Feb 1, 2011 12:52
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I have a question about your treatment Wren, but I don't want to appear blunt because I genuinely feel awful when I think about how sad and afraid you must feel. If you don't want to answer or whatever obviously that's fine, I'm just a little confused because, without any real experience of cancer, I can't read between the lines to infer how you're doing from the statistics and treatments you mention. Has anybody actually told you that you're going to die? Like, have your doctors told you that you absolutely are not going to live and that all your new chemo and stuff is just to keep you alive a little longer? I know you mentioned palliative care, but did you establish if this is the case? It just seems weird to me. Most cases of cancer I've heard about seem to follow the pattern of being curable with treatment up to a very sudden point when you get a set of tests back and they realise it's no longer treatable at all. This is what I'm guessing has happened to you, but since you're still undergoing treatment and stuff I wasn't sure. For what it's worth, I actually check this thread every day and think about you a lot. Your feelings of being already written off remind me of how I would feel in your situation. While it's understandable that you feel like you're already dead, you really should bear in mind that, regardless of what time you have left, you are alive. The world doesn't stop having the potential to be awesome and beautiful and interesting and filled with great things to do just because you're going to die. We're all going to die. I'm perfectly (well, acceptably) healthy and I could die today. You are literally going to outlive hundreds of thousands of people whether you have cancer or not. You're only ever going to get one life and there's plenty of time to be dead when you're done with it, so please try to find something that makes you feel alive, no matter what anybody else thinks, and allow yourself the chance to enjoy it.
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Feb 14, 2011 18:11
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Thank you for taking the time to answer my question in so much depth. You included lots of stuff I didn't know (and hopefully won't need to know) about cancer treatment. I guess it really isn't as simple as having cancer / not having cancer, or getting better / dying. I just want to clarify that I didn't mean that you shouldn't plan for your funeral or your husband's financial state if you don't get better. I think it's incredibly brave to make those kind of decisions, especially on top of the stress of treatment and the worry about the progression of your disease. If I was in your situation I'd probably be burying my head in the sand. I was just trying to convey that, although you think you're in the process of 'dying', so to speak, you are also in the process of 'living', and you should find pleasure, take care of yourself and enjoy the experience whenever you get the chance, even if that just means something as simple as taking a nice long bath.
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Feb 15, 2011 20:42
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Thinking of you, Wren.
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Mar 3, 2011 09:31
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Dick Trauma posted:Two cancer survivors who met during radiation treatment happen to go to the same gym at the same time. I can't believe so many people struggling with cancer can find the energy and enthusiasm to go to the gym. I've been struggling to get there often enough lately and only yesterday as I slogged away on the cross trainer I was thinking of Humanoid Female, who has her own fitness log in Watch and Weight, and manages to train several times a week in spite of undergoing chemo for advanced cancer. I don't know where you all find not only the physical but also the mental and emotional strength. Humbled is not even the word.
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Mar 15, 2011 15:39
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wren posted:I still wished myself away. I willed the disease kill me because I had already put everyone through so much. I hope that didn't change anything. I feel like I don't deserve help now after having that time. We're all human and we all experience feelings which we can't control from time to time. I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort.
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Mar 31, 2011 00:15
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I get that Wren is especially stressed at the moment, but she's always asking for kind words and positive thoughts. If she could take the time to cool down and realise that Zwabu was doing just that, it'd maybe give her some much needed strength. And here's the part where I risk the mighty hammer of SA: three times that I can think of, Wren has taken offense to people asking her questions or discussing her situation when none was meant at all. This is a discussion board, not her Livejournal. If people discussing her posts is going to upset her to the point of lashing out and abandoning her online friends (all you regular posters who give her unending support) maybe she really would be better off not posting here anymore and opening a private blog for you guys to follow.
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May 16, 2011 18:25
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Regence posted:My transplant day is on Friday! Had a bit of a scare as I caught a cold last week, and they had to do some tests to ensure that they could go ahead. Getting pumped full of chemo, followed by total body irradiation in a few days. Then starts the long and painful recovery of building a new organ. At least the hospital in Calgary has free internet, so it'll be more tolerable than my rounds of consolidation chemotherapy. I'd love to hear an account of the whole experience when you're strong enough, it sounds fascinating. Good luck.
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May 18, 2011 07:37
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Hi Humanoid Female, I used to follow your log in W&W and was always blown away by your ability to get to the gym in between chemo sessions when I can't even drag myself there before work. I hope, whatever's going on with your cancer at the moment, that you kick its rear end.
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Aug 16, 2011 14:41
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From what I gather from your log you're more of a reinforced bomb shelter than a house. You'll get there in the end 
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Aug 16, 2011 16:38
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OmNom posted:Cancer is so exceptionally random, my grandmother was given a diagnosis of Rare Inflammatory Breast Cancer and a prognosis of 6 months, she lived 6.5 years. This can be true. My grandmother had some sort of brain cancer (it was long before I was born) which she recovered from briefly. Then it came back, along with lung cancer, and she was told she had about 18 months to live. She lived for another 17 years. I guess that's why doctors don't tend to rely on time/death based prognoses, but rather look at survivial rates. It's not as simple as "you have X time left". Edit: Actually, I was wondering if anybody here would have anything to say about this: http://www.whsmith.co.uk/CatalogAndSearch/ProductDetails.aspx?productID=30147867 It's an undated 5 year diary aimed at cancer survivors. I found it the other day when browsing academic diaries and was curious what an actual cancer (ex)patient would make of the concept, if anything?
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Aug 16, 2011 19:56
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One of my best friends' mother just died of metastatic bowel cancer today, two weeks after being diagnosed. My friend is 22 and an only child - her parents were married and she still lives in her childhood house with her father. Her mother was in her fifties, as is her father I think. Help me not screw this up? Is there anything at all I can say or do, or not say or do, to help?
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Sep 7, 2011 22:22
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Humanoid Female posted:LOL. I think the tiger at the aquarium would like to move out just as much as I would. And possibly rip off a few heads in the process. Poor aquarium tiger. He was there the last time I went, looking as out of place as you'd expect for a tiger who lives at an aquarium. I love how even when you're in the middle of chemo after several years battling cancer, you're still all kick-rear end and independent. Like you don't even consider letting yourself get worn out or having to go crying to your husband for support. You literally just do whatever the hell you want and if your cancer doesn't fit into your schedule then tough poo poo. Awesome.
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Oct 3, 2011 08:06
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Currawong posted:Sorry to worry you, picklejars! I'm OK. It's been just over two years since I was diagnosed. I haven't had any scans since February, but I got a nice full-body all-clean then. I don't get routine scans, just if I report symptoms. So, all quiet on the cancer front. I still have four more years of hormone therapy to go. Menopause is pretty lame. I don't think anyone could blame you for being depressed after the awful stress you've dealt with. Take care!
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Nov 18, 2011 08:51
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v One day at a time.
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HyacinthGirl posted:My mother was just diagnosed with breast cancer today. She's 58 and is quite religious when it comes to getting her mammograms, so apparently they've caught it early, thankfully. She's going in for a surgery consultation tomorrow. Practical help might be appreciated. Keep her house tidy, run her errands, answer other people's questions for her etc and just help her rest. Make sure you look after yourself too, though.
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Nov 29, 2011 08:25
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bam thwok posted:In addition to just continuing to be helpful in everyday ways, you (or she) may be interested to know that the survival rate for a white woman over 50 years old with localized breast cancer is statistically indistinguishable from 100%. She'll be fine, and wearing a pink ribbon in no time! You say over 50, does that mean that women under 50 don't have as good a chance of survival? Just curious.
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Nov 29, 2011 17:49
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Dick Trauma posted:It's really hard for that to sink in. I spent years focusing on lost time, shortened lifespan and all that. I don't mean to be ignorant but may I ask in what way is your lifespan already shortened? Is it because the cancer will probably come back / hasn't fully gone? Or is it to do with the toll it's taken on your body which will lead to an earlier death due to other factors? I'm sorry if this is too personal for me to ask but I've only had access to a very watered down, Hollywood style insight into cancer, so the day to day realities of it elude me.
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Jan 21, 2012 12:48
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Dick Trauma posted:For my type of cancer if the tumor is above a certain size the recurrence rate is basically 100%, and if it recurs the mortality rate is basically 100%. So it's like a cancer double-down! That sucks so much  Again, if you don't mind me asking, have you found any sort of acceptance in being basically guaranteed that it'll come back? I imagine you could spend your whole life worrying yourself sick it'd come back if you didn't know one way or another. At least I would. Do you get any sort of peace from already knowing? I'm not suggesting that you should, for what it's worth. A 100% recurrence rate is never, ever going to be a good thing.
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Jan 21, 2012 19:26
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Dick Trauma posted:That just takes me back to what I said about how I choose to spend my days. If I'm right and it comes back then I'll be glad I fought to feel good as often as possible. If I'm wrong and it never comes back, or it doesn't come back for ten years or longer I'll be glad I didn't waste all that time feeling doomed and hopeless. Thanks for that insight. It seems like everybody could stand to live their lives like that but unfortunately it often takes some sort of tragedy to kick start it.
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Jan 21, 2012 20:19
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duck monster posted:Ok, this is kind of a really dumb question. But I'm a really dumb person, so here goes. I know this isn't strictly what you're getting at (you're talking theoretically) but becoming anorexic absolutely destroys your body and can make you die from organ failure / heart attacks, so it's possible that your weakened body would be less able to tolerate the chemo / fight the cancer that remained in what little fat you had left.
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Jan 24, 2012 10:13
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To an extent it's probably not just about what they want to talk about but also what they think you as the patient would want to talk about. They're unlikely to assume that you would want to frankly discuss your (possibly dire) prognosis and asking you to share the darkest, most frightening emotions you're dealing with would be considered an invasion of privacy. There's not really a good way to go about talking about cancer beyond asking the patient what they would prefer, but if anything it's cancer's fault for being so loving intricately awful sometimes that it transcends normal communication.
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Mar 19, 2012 22:30
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ExoticCorpuscle posted:
What she said went far beyond just standing up for a friend. It was violent, insulting, excessive and personally threatening to somebody who intended no malice in what they asked. That seems pretty unkind.
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Jul 23, 2012 18:51
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Humanoid Female posted:Oh god, I've been thinking about the whole scar question a lot recently, now that I'm divorced and starting to date again. It never even crossed my mind until a few months ago, but sooner or later (I hope) I'll find somebody who wants to see me with my clothes off, and I have no idea if this is the sort of thing that freaks people out or not. Obviously some will and some won't care about it, and there's nothing I can do about it either way, but Well when the time comes, just make sure you get the guy's name and address. That way, if he makes you feel bad about your scars I can go round his house and kick him in the nuts. If I was dating somebody who had scars from their cancer I'd feel pretty humbled to even be allowed to see them. Just remember that you're ridiculously strong and kick-rear end (referring to W&W here as well) and don't let them make the call on whether your scars are 'OK' or not.
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Jul 26, 2012 07:28
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There's an icon you can click next to her name to show all her posts in this thread, I think.
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Jul 28, 2012 23:44
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I'm so sorry to hear your bad news Nannypea
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Jan 6, 2013 14:01
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On the topic of breast cancer, my great uncle recently died of it. I'm a 23 year old woman with no other history of breast cancer. Is there any genetic risk in my case? I mean I always assumed I was lucky enough to not have a family history but I'd not really considered the implications of my great uncle having it until just now.
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Jan 19, 2013 21:09
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Lady Demelza posted:I'm sorry about your great-uncle. Nah it was my grandmother's brother. Thanks for the reassurance though, I'll just keep it in the back of my mind for now and hope nobody else in my family (or the world, for that matter) gets it.
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Jan 20, 2013 11:15
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