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Inspired by the goldmined Wizard Rap Battle and Ron Paul vs Obama Rap Battle threads, let me give you... Setting: a crowded dance-hall. Enter:  MC Lenin and his crew. trotsky immediately starts throwing up gang-signs, yelling "We in da house!" and "Ain't nobody here that can flow like my comrade!" Lenin: Drop that beat. (DJ begins spinning "Money Power Respect instrumental) Yo, in every battle I grab the mic and kill it Even your whole crew knows that Ilyich is the illest Red Army one hundred thousand deep, no we ain't Bloods And my man's name is Beria 'cause that's what he does I capped the Tzar to sit on his thrones, check out my stones Got a room full of amber and a canal built of bones Your whole crew's weak, you can never match our weights See me chillin' in my train with those German-made twenty-eights (Trotsky: That's right! Shiiit, 28 inch rims!) Step up to the mic and show what you got Cause I'ma put all you pussy kulaks in the Gulag... Trotsky: Oh shiiit! Red Army just buried all y'all! (crowd anxiously awaits the next challenger)
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 19:50 |
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| # ? Feb 09, 2010 17:47 |
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Alright! I had created my rap identity if I ever started a historical figure group. I present you, Kim Jong Ill. Me and Lenin have been spittin ryhmes for the same team Dictators with an Attitude, we're hot in this fuckin' scene You've been thinkin I'm out this bitch, health declinin' Kim Jong Ill is here to say North Korea keep smilin' Take a ride in my fly whip, come check out my livin space If you drop troops in my hometown I'll ejac in your fuckin face My foreign relations are iffy, and that's at the very best IF you come and spit ryhmes with me you rap with the best of the rest I'm going to keep this poo poo for you short and sweet Kim Jong Ill up in this bitch fuckin raisin the heat Note: I want to expand and work on this actually. This was just a 10 or so minute trial, but I like where it's going. Edit: By the way, this is a great idea and I hope that more people will jump on. Phineas fucked around with this message at Nov 10, 2008 around 20:39 |
| # ? Nov 10, 2008 20:22 |
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 Well step aside bitch because my name is Ronald Regan When it comes to bombs and bucks I got billions Carl Sagan I got balls And my weapons are atomic I lead the free world with my freestyle economics Your walls Will come down in sev'ny years Your people will wear Levis and they'll drink Budweiser beer I pack heat The thermonuclear type I'll make you waste your country's money defending from my Star Wars hype Expect to be sniped I'll blame it on a weapons glitch But really it's this football and my finger trigger itch When your rear end gets beat, you can blame it on the gip 300 million black eyes and a bruised and bloody lip Gaze on your ruskie cities and imagine them demolished The end is loving neigh, you can suck my cock, tavarich
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 20:46 |
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ENTER: Lil' Taro, current Prime Minister of Japan Kim Jong, you ain't nothing but a dirty Commie Freedom bomb will kick your rear end and have you screaming for mommy Apple pies, hamburgers, and loving delicious hot dogs You don't have anything to eat but mutated giant bunnies Your nuclear warhead threat ain't nothing but a bluff Trying to make your tiny little dick to look very tough We know you are dead, and no one gives a gently caress So why the hell you try to convinece people that you're the next Tupac?
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 20:57 |
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 Uh-huh. Check it, check it. A Triumvirate Records producshizzle. Marcus Antonius Like Brutus, I'm felonious 22's on my chariot Plebeians can't get ahold of us Octavian be bustin' But I'm everyday hustlin' When it comes to power, I got more Reppin' like Caesar in the Gallic Wars Brand new sandals on my feet Draped in robes right off the rack Drinkin' wine off the vine Out of bitches buttcracks Like Dionysus, I stay buzzed Civil War be on my mind When I bust on all my haters Ain't no place for them to hide Roman Republic, bitches! gently caress the Parthians, we be bustin' on motherfuckers!
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 21:13 |
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MeaningOfLife posted:ENTER: Lil' Taro, current Prime Minister of Japan Taro your poo poo is weak, I can't even stand it Your Americanized ways, I'm straight gonna ban it Outlandish You think you can creep up in my poo poo I'll grab you by the face Bitch you 'bout to get hit You step on the stage, say my nukes aint got power But I'm here to say poo poo, son, you're weak as a flower Pansy, You're Prime Minister Nancy Lil' Taro aint got poo poo, he fancy a dancey So go ahead, take your song and keep on singin But I'll creep up behind you like a bee I be stingin Edit: Alright, I'm off to work. In 8 hours' time I'll be back to settle any poo poo that goes down. Phineas fucked around with this message at Nov 10, 2008 around 21:42 |
| # ? Nov 10, 2008 21:23 |
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Phineas posted:Taro your poo poo is weak, I can't even stand it  Awwwwww jigga, did I get you mad? That's because you have a loving fat head And what the hell is with your stupid Asian fro? You look just like an ugly Treasure Troll You say your nukes will destroy world peace How you gonna fire that without our Playstation 3? You make threats because you be jealous of Seoul Come on Ill, you ain't nothing but a 'ho.
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 22:10 |
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Yo yo yo, I said hey. What you lookin at you think my hair is grey? Well guess the fact of all the pain I be causin with my cain. Whippen and rappin and swingin and crackin you down. So what's that poo poo you said about Kansas? I'll whip you till bloods on my hansas thats what goes in history books I beat you down, I'm Preston Brooks.
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 22:23 |
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MeaningOfLife posted:ENTER: Lil' Taro, current Prime Minister of Japan  Yappity-yappity-yappity yap Coming straight from the mouth of a uppity Jap Who's busting out of the mary jane fog? pants at his armpits: fuckin' MC Doug! (Truman: Whoah! Suckas!) I cross the pacific I Smoke all your dope Let's get specific No way you can cope With my lyric skills (Truman: Whaaaaat!) With my wartime kills (Truman: Whooooo!) All the pussy thrills (Truman: A-huuh! A-huuh!) So shut up and run while you gooks are still free Or bow down to the muthafuckin' S-C-A-P
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 22:48 |
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I'm the White Death/ain't no Vanilla Ice If you're invading Finland/ I'll make you think twice Creepin through the trees/It's time to pay the price You think you're so slick/already got you in my sights Got my Mosin, my Suomi/Can't touch this, just blow me In a sniper duel, you know you'll lose, homie Think you got skills? Then go ahead, show me Seven hundred credited kills, bitch/did I mention blow me? Kill Russians every day/came to this mic to say My name is Simo Hayha and I'm here to loving stay ...and gently caress 50 Cent. I got artillery shelled like five times, bitch, and shot in the loving face. What now?
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| # ? Nov 10, 2008 23:43 |
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Crowd: Ohhh shiiit! (MC Tojo enters, calls out Douglas MacArthur)  Tojo: Who here thinks they can step to Hideki Pussy rear end D-Mac thinks he can wreck me I'm the T to the Izzo, J to the Izzo Y'all get ready to commit Hara-Kari, fo shizzo, Break it down! (DJ begins scratching like mad) Unit 7-3-1 in da house! Co-Prosperity Sphere in da house! D-Mac I don't think you want any more So take your white rear end back to Corregidor (Admiral nagano: Ohh poo poo you just got buried!)
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 00:29 |
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(it appears another battle is shaping up...) V to tha Z: Zaitzev here spittin the cyphers I been rollin' with snipers since all you cats were in diapers Simo Hayha? Say wha? No dawg, you don't want it I blasted better men than you in Stalingrad so don't flaunt it... What do Finns do anyway? gently caress reindeer? This ain't the place or time to play that game here And I don't need the Katyusha to settle this one You and me one on one will give me some fun I'm a veteran sniper, you're just green like spinach So don't start somethin' that you know you can't Finnish!
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 00:40 |
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 Yo, check this poo poo... My name is Lincoln, I'm the A-B-E I'm the man with the plan, I'm the presidency Not gonna back down, not gonna let 'em enslave us I'm gonna bust a cap in Mr. Jefferson Davis Stonewall Jackson must be missin' a rock His balls shrivel when I rack the slide on my Glock General Lee, he better step off fast Or I'll ram this stovepipe hat up his secessionist rear end I got cash money, Mary Todd be my whore I'm the motherfuckin pimp of this Civil War So pass the Courvoisier and I'm sure you'll find I got my mind on my country and my country on my mind So all those bitches in the free states put your hands up And all those bitches in the slave states put your hands up We cannot dedicate We cannot consecrate We should not placate I'm gonna tell ya straight: The citizens await A president's mandate That freedom is innate We must emancipate Be like Honest Abe, be a playa-hater Peace out, my bitches, I be at Ford's Theater
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 00:59 |
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Miyamoto Musashi posted:
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 01:14 |
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Pretty good...for a Russian. Bring it Vasily/you Soviet faggot Poke your head out to see and you know that I'll tag it You think you hard with five hundred kills, dang But you know if you face me you're going out with a bang Motherfucker you ain't stealth/scopes is bad for your health You just another Red head I'm 'bout to put on my shelf Ain't no one can't see that I'm the bomb loving reindeer/ nah, V, fuckin your mom Iron sights 4 lyfe, biiiiitch
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 01:18 |
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Miyamoto Musashi posted:
 I think it's time to shut yo' mouth up, Abe If weren't for me you'd still be in the UK Sacagewe is in the house I got a decent knowledge of North and South Representing my Shoshone hood Cos whiteys can't even learn my language good I got class like a queen unlike Abe, you just wack I'm a lady on your journey but a savage in the sack
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 01:57 |
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Mongoose Face posted:
 voted 5 go hog wild!
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 02:25 |
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 I was smuggled aboard a battleship to battle krouts Bitches be takin' ma nut sauce like I was givin' hand outs Here I be standing the illest little D-O-double-G loving World War 1 vet bitches name be Seargeant Stubby Now I ain't like you bitches with brains like commodes Ya loving commies and Finnies and Japs 'bout to explode Come up against me and I'll matcha bite for bite Rest assured, nuke me twice my flag won't fly white It's 'cause I come from the good ol' US of A Where we kick rear end the good ol' American way I've had my rear end gassed and hit by grenades Never went halfway 'till this day Nerves won't fray here to save The the land of Jean Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Mone 
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 06:03 |
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MeaningOfLife posted:
Here's some advice Taro, take your lyric and chuck it And before you try to fight back stop and say, "gently caress it" 'Cause if you bring the heat I'ma leave you lifeless like a muppet No need to be jealous that I'm here makin' mad duckets And before you talk poo poo we don't need your Playstation That poo poo's for motherfuckas livin' in Japan nation So sit your bitch rear end down and don't leave that location I'ma take your desperation leave you achin' like a patient One more thing before I let your rear end go There was no reason to call me a 'ho You're just lookin' to brag to your bro But leave yo' house unattended I'ma make your wife blow
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 07:15 |
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Zappatista posted:Inspired by the goldmined Wizard Rap Battle and Ron Paul vs Obama Rap Battle threads, let me give you...  Fresh out ze Berlin it’s ze A.D.O.L.F., and I’m Comin’ at Lenin, and his buddies on ze left. You claimin’ you’re dictators? More like dick-takers, ‘Cause white makes right and Trotsky’s a faker. I’m ridin’ with v2’s over 6 million Jews, and you communistas vanna goosestep to zis? Thinkin’ it’s so easy to take on lil’ Heezy? Man get outta Siberia, your brain is freezy. So I’ll keep smilin’ so long as you keep Heilin’, Got a problem vith zat Lenin? Better go and start dialin’ Someone who vill listen, my SS ain’t missin’, Comin’ runnin’ gunnin’ for any motherfucker that’s dissin’. My rhymes are like a book burning – so hot. Think not? Zat potato vodka’s given you brain rot, ‘Cause there ain’t no party like a Nazi party And zis Artistic Arian is ze cream of ze crop. So hold back ze applause, pack your bags, start runnin’, My Tiger Tanks are ‘Kriegen toward Moscow and London. Americans ain’t doin’ poo poo, not unless zey get hit At Pearl Harbour, but it’s not like ze Japs will do zis…
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 07:40 |
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Miyamoto Musashi posted:
Genius. Simply genius. Or plagarism? Either way, genius. Honestly though, i wonder if it could be reworked for authenticity. The Glock part irks me =)
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 07:44 |
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Mongoose Face posted:
I grew up in the projects in a house made of logs So to make it to D.C., I had to work like a dog I'm tough as nails; splittin' rails Runnin' the country, but still gettin' tail Soon everyone knew I was the alpha male Workin' night and day to help the Union prevail I gotta tell you, ho, your beef with me is wack So let's break it down now and examine the facts: My mug's on the fiver, and pennies so profuse Yo' face is on a coin that nobody use People say it's worth a dolla, but that poo poo is passe Nobody wants it; in fact, you can't give it away There's not much demand, so there's little supply Meanwhile my bills and coins seem to multiply Did I mention that they carved my face into stone? That's not something they do for just any unknown They made a monument of me near the Washington Mall I may sit in a chair, but I'm still 20 feet tall To review, bitch, my grill is up on Mt. Rushmore And, girl, you ain't nothing but an 2-bit whore Dwimmerlaik posted:Genius. Simply genius. Or plagarism? Either way, genius. Nope, not stolen. I wrote it this afternoon. And it could probably be rewritten to remove anachronisms if I really tried (or if anyone else had a good idea). It would just take a little more thought. Glad you liked it, though. Miyamoto Musashi fucked around with this message at Nov 11, 2008 around 09:26 |
| # ? Nov 11, 2008 09:11 |
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This is awesome reminds me of the george washington rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA Keep up the good work, I'm suprised Ghandi hasn't come up in this mutha fuckin hizzouuuse.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 11:28 |
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Miyamoto Musashi posted:
I haven't had such a hearty laugh in such a long time, brilliant work to all of you guys!
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 11:37 |
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 gently caress YOU MOTHAFUCKA POMPEIIANS. WE RIDE THIS poo poo OUT. THIS IS FOR THE PLAYAS FROM THE HOUSE OF JULII GOT DENARI IN YO POCKET, GOT YA EYES ON THE PRIZE GOTTA SIDE WITH THE TIDE OF THE PLEBIAN SCUM ALL THE LADIES LIFT YO HANDS FOR ONE OF FLAVIUS’ SONS! I’M THE ONE AND THE ONLY, AND IT’S LONELY AT THE TOP USED TO HANG THREE DEEP UNTIL MY DAUGHTER DID DROP A ROMAN’S SPOSE TO BE A FAMILY MAN - YOU KNOW I CRIED AND I CURSED THE NAME OF JUPITER WHEN JULIA DIED NO SURPRISE TO SEE THAT POMPEY TOOK THE SENATE BY FORCE AND OF COURSE HE HAD ME EXILED ‘FORE I SADDLED MY HORSE IT AIN’T EASY FOR A PLAYA WHEN HE FIND HIMSELF BANNED AND EVEN CRASSUS COULDN’T BUY YOU BACK YOUR OWN PIECE OF LAND I DID WHAT ANY ROMAN’D DO, I TOLD MY HOMEYS TO RIDE AND SO WE BACK FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY – LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE!!! I’M THE CONSUL WITH THE TONSILS I’M THE ROMAN IN THE KNOW I GOT POMPEY WHERE I WANT HIM GOT THE WICKEDEST FLOW YOU KNOW THE COMMON PEOPLE SAY I’M GONNA WIN IN THIS WAR - YOU GOT YOUR IDES OF MARCHIN ORDERS PAX SEEZAH IS LAW! FRIENDS! COME AND STAND UP! ROMANS! COME AND STAND UP! ALL MY FELLOW COUNTRYMEN, SHOUT IT WIT YO HANDS UP! UP! UP! UP! UP! UP! UP! IT WAS FAR TOO LATE ALREADY WHEN I CROSSED THE RUBICON poo poo, THE DIE WAS CAST BEFORE YO MOMMA EVEN GOT IT ON! HAD TO STRIKE AT MY TARGET EVEN FASTER THAN NATO. I COULDN’T LEAVE MY poo poo TO BE hosed OVER BY CATO. FATE? NO NIGGA I’M A SELF-MADE MAN I WORKED HARD ALL MY LIFE JUST TO GET WHERE I AM I WAS TREMBLIN AND SHAKIN WHEN I FIRST SAW THE FORUM NOW THIS MUTHAFUCKA SITS ATOP THE CURSUS HONOURUM! I’M THE CONSUL WITH THE TONSILS I’M THE ROMAN IN THE KNOW I GOT POMPEY WHERE I WANT HIM GOT THE WICKEDEST FLOW I’M THE GREATEST DICTATOR THAT THE WORLD EVER SAW: PERICLES? NIGGA PLEASE. PAX SEEZAH IS LAW! Sardine Wit fucked around with this message at Nov 11, 2008 around 12:31 |
| # ? Nov 11, 2008 12:28 |
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 Y'all cats are just soft/can't hang with Rough Rydaz makin' money every day/you clowns just run and hidaz I got the golden touch, like a nigga name Midaz everything that I do, the public - they admyaz (Rough Rydaz: BULLY!) I bring the pain on dat rear end with my big boomstick so all you ho's speak softly when I pull out my dick Got no qualms about murda on a fake-rear end trick so now yo life is on a countdown, tick tick tick (RR: OHHHHH!) you got a fever like malaria, 100 degrees you in need of some medicine, so suck on deez (RR: NUTZ!) You try to come out swingin, all I feel is a breeze I bring the pain on yo rear end, with the greatest of ease My crew is Rough Rydas/yo they bringin' da heat ridin' on spanish fools/leave 'em dead in tha street (RR: BIOTCH!) you try to flex on my rear end and you as dead as meat 'cause TR don't gently caress around when it comes to a beat (RR: DOWWWWWWN!) Check it, TR up in dis bitch all day every day. I'm out, y'all. Keep ya poo poo real.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 13:59 |
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Johannes Kepler, up in this bitch... Watch the skies at night, Mack the bitches by day, All you fake-rear end scientists best step out the way. Ain't got no idea 'bout the poo poo they be boastin' Cuz they ain't got poo poo on my laws of planetary motion. If y'all wanna front my man Tycho's got my back, He'll make your rear end spin around, like the zodiac. Beat yo' rear end to the ground with my platinum sextant, So fly my poo poo can't be measured with a quadrant.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 16:45 |
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 Yo, yo, yo, da King is in da house Here's to all you muthafuckas! Leonidas, reppin' for sparta I'm a fire starta I need no crown Beat you down No messin' 'round Gon' end up dead if ya mess wit my town L to da E to da O to da NIDAS Don't need bling like fuckin' king Midas Got my spear and my shield yo, that's it Don't need no more to make yo eat yo poo poo Yo goin' down boy, yo goin' down fast Yo muthafuckin' army's a thing of the past Outta my way, or yo gettin' capped son, King of Sparta ready for some muthafuckin' action! You call 'em soldiers, foo? Yo must be kiddin' 'Cos 300 of my homies and me be proceedin' To kick Persian rear end like muthafuckas One million soldiers? Ha! One million suckas! There ain't no pain, There ain't no gain, Just a muthafuckin' spear goin' through yo brain Just me and my crew Cappin' hatas is our art-ah 'Cos this ain't madness, foo' This is SPARTA!
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 18:14 |
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 (Enter FDR, rollin' with big 28" spinnaz on his blinged out chair, Truman raisin' the roof, beating Dewey upside the head) Yo it's the F.D.R. rollin' tight in this bitch, Four time winnin' easy as scratchin' an itch. Gonna fix your economy, bitch all you gonna see, is yo rear end gettin' rolled over if you mess with me! (Truman: New Deal, mother fuckers!) I got my 5th party crew rollin' straight across the land, guidin' the nation with cool firm hand No need for me to walk, I got this fly ride, blanket on my lap, and solutions to decide. One hand on the button, one hand on my drank Crusin' cross the land like my poo poo don't stank, American liberalism's got me to thank, Social policy all up like when I fixed your bank. Marchin' dimes like my soldiers in the pacific, my answers are specific, Guillain-Barré syndrome don't matter, I feel terrific Endin' the depression with my plans all prolific Fatman and Little Boy causin' destruction that's horrific (Truman: Hiroshima, bitches! Nagasaki what what?)
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 18:44 |
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Un chien andalou posted:Johannes Kepler, up in this bitch... I cannot vote 5 hard enough.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 18:56 |
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The Mack and Cheese posted:(old recording) I remember times, and I remember events, So now's the time in which to hear me vent...  (beat starts) I'm the John to the D to the mothafuckin' Fella, Teddy Roosevelt, I'mma gently caress your motha' Stop hatin' on the playa, stop hatin' on ma game' You touch Standard Oil, I go fuckin' insane I warn you bitch, you stop better right there, Or I'll throw you in a ditch, just try me if you dare, I was born poor but I ended up rich So all you bitches can suck my dick I'm a self-made man, nicked the octopus I made my money and I made no fuss So Ida Tarbell, well gently caress you too! Don't dare even think that I'm through with you Writing this poo poo about me, in the papers? You drat prissy bitch, just you come on over Your drat articles they just make my blood boil I'll slap you on the rear end, then I'll dig it for oil! Listen, Listen, Listen -- Save when you can, not when you have to It'll help you when your bills are due I'm John D, I never waste a rhyme Ain't no rap that's as thight as mine (Junior arrives on the scene with a couple of lawyers and start b-boying) Go get em' Junior! Go! Go! Go! Go Junior! Go! Go! Go! (Back to John D, the beat slows down) Wise up, Sinners! Ah ah! Ah ah! Better wise up before it's too late! Wise Up! Wise Up! Wise Up! (Beat stops) God is on my side, by his law I abide, Aw gently caress it. I'm too rich for this poo poo. (Drops the mic and walk away) Ond fucked around with this message at Nov 11, 2008 around 21:27 |
| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:04 |
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Kulebri posted:Yo, yo, yo, da King is in da house  Yo Leonidas, Ephialtes in tha house. You might be the most badass king guess where i got my brand new bling. Xerxes be pimpin' his chicks dig me even tho i'm gimpin' He got rivers of cashflow Chicks dancin' freakshow Hes a real bro' All i did was too take a bow You had your chance yo' sellin' yo out ho' Thinks your so phat with your shield Well, guess what bitch im phatter' even tho i cant yield Phalanx, more like phallix Thinks your so cool You man over men Why cant you just admit that youre gay thats what the bathing thing is all about anyway But it really doesnt mean poo poo Your doom is near, just wait for it You will die, but your story be told. Who the gently caress cares cuz' ill be bathing in gold.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:04 |
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 Yo son, set my E-Meter to Thizz, its ya boy L dot R L. Ron Hubble bout to bust up in ya bubble my bitches stay down like that ho betty rubble now my frenetic dialectics just spit dianetics so when I said it best believe L.Ron done did it Explorer's Club in tha Escalade Dub Dueces underneath so I must be paid Posted up loungin yall cats fake the funk Battlefield Earth poundin out my goddamn trunk Up in ya girl like an Operatin Thetan but when she screamin its all "L RON YOU PLEASE ME" Ya boy L to tha R dot H out ya dig Diodeous fucked around with this message at Nov 12, 2008 around 05:18 |
| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:34 |
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Zappatista posted:
 (On a cold morning, Lenin, Stalin, and many Red Party members stand on a podium. Lenin adresses the crowd) Who's rad?! (The crowd chants) Komrade, Komrade! (Stalin again) I said WHO'S RAD?! (Crowd chants) KOMRADE KOMRADE! (Lenin turns to Stalin and nods to him. Stalin walks up and takes the mic) (we hear a couple of notes from the troika, but Stalin is like "naw man, what the gently caress is that?", so Lenin takes the other mic, starts beatboxing, then fat beat starts -- Stalin is all like "now that's more like it" -- he moves to the beat and then starts) Koba, Stalin, or Iosif Dzhugashvili, I'm a man of many names, many games I'm the fuckin' man with the 5 year plan! I'm Lenin's right hand, his KING DARK SOLDIER! The whole underworld is MY EMPIRE! If he gets in trouble, then I help DISGUISE HIM! Pass him a as woman, to throw the hounds OFF HIM! And you haven't nearly seen, the BEST OF ME YET I'm a politician, poet, and WORLD WAR VET! I can't help it, it's like a CURSE, I got the best ryhmes in the UNIVERSE! (beat brige and buildup) When Lenin dies I'mma get the power I'll be the one and only, red party leader Lording over Russia, my whole empire! Then all men will be communist BROTHERS While bitches line up to ride MY MEMBER (screaming into the mic, spit flies) COME ON BABY! RIDE THE 'STACHE! JUST RIDE IT! RIDE IT, RIDE IT! JUST RIDE IT! RIDE IT, RIDE IT! (Stalin realizes the beat has stopped. Lenin looks at him, then laughs it off. The beat starts again) You gently caress with Lenin and you gently caress with me, There's no to way about it, YOU WANNA BATTLE?! Get ready for the gulag -- YOU WANNA REBEL?! You'll die for your flag -- (beat solo - heavy breathing) Sometimes I get the urge, the urge to purge, I think about your blood and my verge emerge! (end beat starts) Secret police's gonna get you'! And you' and you! Police's gonna get you'! And you' and you! (calmer now) Y'all can see me now? Well gently caress YOU Trotsky, And Hitler, you know what? The pact we made? It don't mean poo poo to me! You think I'm playin? Ah ah... TRY ME! (outro) Secret police... comrade... it's all of us... It's here, it's there, it's everywhere... Don't forget it. comrades.. Oh, don't you forget... (a couple of notes from the troika again, as we fade out. Stalin bumps fist with Lenin, then returns to the background) (crowd, still chanting) Secret police! Secret, Secret -- Secret police! Ooh ooh ooh! Secret police! Secret, Secret -- Secret police! Ooh ooh ooh! (Lenin looks at the crowd, then nods at his protege. Yes, Stalin will be just fine to replace him one day. Lenin is proud. Whatever happens, the red team will win.) Edit - To this day, the great tradition of Russian Leader Raps lives on -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gncW1zqMFgs Edit2 - I can't believe I'll fail my chemistry exam because I waste my study time writing fanfic rap. 
Ond fucked around with this message at Nov 11, 2008 around 21:44 |
| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:43 |
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 I hear y'all motherfuckers talkin' bout science But I got some bad news concernin' your reliance On your bullshit five senses They may work for you now I front no pretenses Let me tell y'all how This world is not the only one we know There's plenty beyond, just check my flow You think you got Truth with your eyes that see But a wise man and a fool see not the same tree We got the infinite locked up inside of us Just five senses to check what Nobodaddy designed for us Decomposing meat bags and mind-forged manacles Keeping us in sense-deprived sabbatical I'm'a let you in on my holy objective There's no real world, to each his own--subjective London be stackin' smoke like blunts be blazing Whores market marriage and childs be slavin' I'm as hot an MC as the busta King James I'm the top artist/engraver that chlls on the Thames Step to me and meet a world of hurtin' Bad, like you poor and need churchin' But that poo poo appalls when you need it the most Blood on they walls, and I ain't one to boast But I keep 'em in check Like I do all my bitches Militaristic And capitalist snitches I said my peace, there's no cause to delay I preach love with the One and all, have no fears to allay I'm bout to chill on my porch naked in light of day. PEACE! P.S. niggaz: Don't talk poo poo, or I'll stop off at your mom's and surprise sex that foul bitch like I was Bromion. WHAT!?
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:46 |
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This is by far the best thread i've seen on these forums.
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:47 |
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 MC Lenin: Yo, it's that V.L. back in this shizzle, stuntin, I done heard that bitch Adolf was tryin' ta start somethin' Red Army'll bulldoze all the haters (Beria: That's right!) Y'all couldn't get as high as us with escalators Talkin' bout those Jews you killed with a smile, How 'bout when Rothschild bent your granny over doggy-style? (Trotsky: Ohhhhhh!) I've just whipped your rear end in under a minute 'Cause even the name Nazi's got Socialist up in it (Beria grabs the mic) Beria: K-G-B...G-P-U Either way bitch we're seein' all that you do Your freestyle blew like a Hoover And you call yourself gangsta...your real name's Schicklgruber. (Trotsky: OHMIGAWD! PURE ETHER!!!)
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:47 |
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 We shall prove ourselves able, to defend our Island home, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. We will defend to the death, our native soil, I have nothing to offer but blood, sweat, tears and toil. It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, We'll beat Adolf Hitler and the Nazi's over there we shall fight on the beaches, and on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the towns, That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? It is victory, Thats the Game!
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:56 |
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 V-Z to tha heezy: (grabs the mic) Yo I heard that punk bitch Lee Harvey Oswald was talkin' poo poo bout my rhymin' style and my gunplay. Wherever you at, step up bitch or get popped...
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 19:57 |
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 *DJ, rip that poo poo* Jack's in the house yo, or should I say alley, Killin' you first, then surprise sex vaginally Strangle you slowly, no sound to be heard, When your throat is slit, you're dead like a bird Some think I'm doctor, don't think I'm a fake, Rippin' you open, your organs I take Bodies thrown, Identity unknown, Face never shown, You'll be damned sure I'll make Edmund Reid look like a clown Marry Anne, Elizabeth, Cathy, Annie and Mary Jane, A few of my victims confirmed with a name, A few of the people I rid of their shame Now London watch out, I'll never be caught, That guy you suspected, I'm not who you thought So be sure that I'll get you, if it's sex that you sell, Spread fear like the devil, like I am From Hell
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| # ? Nov 11, 2008 20:42 |
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