Cotton B. Gross has an encyclopedic knowledge of Hentai

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Helldump Success Stories > Cotton B. Gross has an encyclopedic knowledge of Hentai

General Ironicus: Aug 21, 2008; What a tuber...

C/P from the lurker thread:

This is Cotton B. Gross.

He has about the worst voice in LP and has been known to beg to guest commentate on videos.
He also really likes killing.

Made an unassuming post in "Pictures that unnerve you"

Cotton B. Gross posted:

This poorly bred pug creeps me out.

which is only noticeable because he made the exact same post later in the same thread. Apparently his stupid dog didn't get the quotes it deserved.

He also showed a deep knowledge of J-horror in that thread:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

It sucks that the creepiest part in episodes 10 and 11 is just completely abandoned with no sense of closure, which makes no sense because you'd think the protagonist would want to find out what happened to her cousin. And there are the gigantic plot holes of "why isn't the town inundated with reporters after this crazy poo poo goes on in front of dozens of people" and "why the hell is anyone still living there?"

There's a similarly enormous plot hole in Gyo that's half-heartedly addressed in the last few pages.

Apparently thats about this charming story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyo

Somebody by that name maintains this blog: http://lardtastic.blogspot.com/ and there's nothing there that a normal person would produce.

Why is this all important? He was a constant contributor and huge fan of the LP that made the No Hentai rule necessary, and was the person most upset to see the rule made, even beyond the author's meltdown. He spent most of his time comparing it to another hentai game about incest. If someone with archives is willing to get the good stuff, bring it out.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 04:53

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# ? May 26, 2013 07:16

chordate: Feb 27, 2008; by Ozma

hentai owns..i love hentia

# ? Nov 25, 2008 04:55

YO MAMA HEAD: Sep 11, 2007

are their any hentai database available. a hentai wiki perhaps.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:00

Snake Plissken: Sep 15, 2007; Can I have operation on eye with laser? Does this conform to Sharia?

he felt like had to make sure everyone knew jihad jerry was trolling

A security guard shot and killed a man wielding a sword Sunday on the grounds of a Scientology building in Hollywood, police said.

JIHAD JERRY posted:

The deceased, was in fact, a fellow goon.

Lyle "dinosaurjerk" Hershberger was a good friend of mine, struggling with chronic unemployment (long before the economic crisis even started) and an internal fury brought on by the atrocities the Church of Scientology has committed that I suppose he felt he was the one to right.

We spoke on AIM shortly before he left to die, laying out his plans. I thought he was joking in his typical deadpan humor, so I just shrugged it off with a smile and nod thinking to myself: "This is why I paid my $10. To interact with such wacky and random characters as Lyle."

There was nothing random, or wacky, however, about Lyle's demise. I am starting Lyle's Fund, an organization dedicated to bringing about the demise of Scientology, just as they brought his.

Rest well, Lyle. If any goons want to attend his funeral, please contact me privately and include your userID with a picture of you holding a printout of your profile. This is a safety precaution to ensure no "Scientology fucktards" get in, as requested in his will.

so he made this post in gbs

Cotton B. Gross posted:

There's no evidence that he was a goon, that post above was a troll. One of the first results for "dinosaurjerk" in Google was this Goldmined FYAD post: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=1820792

and this one in lf

Cotton B. Gross posted:

There's no evidence that it was a goon, that post is a troll

see here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=1820792

Snake Plissken fucked around with this message at Nov 25, 2008 around 05:32

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:00

chordate: Feb 27, 2008; by Ozma

a stuipoid moron..the deadliest of burns

preschool mtoerhfuck bitch

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:02

Garin: Oct 18, 2007; Kick Jonathan

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Just thought you might like to see a reappearance of that fuckin' pug.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:07

chordate: Feb 27, 2008; by Ozma

whyd you look @ the hentai huh

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:09

YO MAMA HEAD: Sep 11, 2007

Garin posted:

Just thought you might like to see a reappearance of that fuckin' pug.

um. isntead of pussy and n*pples? Why would you thin kthat.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:09

Filburt Shellbach: Nov 6, 2007; Apni tackat say tujay aaj mitta juu gaa!

Sartak posted:

The hentai threads were pretty bad, but the shining star among them is Cotton B Gross. Cotton likes horny bunnies. Has he had a callout yet? Anyway, some highlights from a single loving thread:

Cotton B. Gross posted:
Will the incest train be making an appearance? I hope not.

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

He mentions in a few places that he loves pugs. Ugh.

Cotton B. Gross posted:
Did you ever hear Djynn Flyssa's reading of the incestuous surprise sex scene?

Cotton B. Gross posted:
At this point, the only question is whether they'll show her guzzling semen out of the condom or leave it offscreen like they did with the snowballing.

Cotton B. Gross posted:
You must take the I Train
To go to have sex with your cousin Sae

If you miss the I Train
You'll find you've missed the quickest way to incest

Hurry, get on, now, it's coming
Listen to those rails a-thrumming (ZUNK ZUNK ZUNK)

Get on the I Train
Soon you will be inside your cousin's pussy

Did he just write this loving song/poem about incest?

Cotton B. Gross posted:
Also, I miss Kur0's fanart of Ryo sucking the semen out of the condom with a straw.

Cotton B. Gross posted:
Oh, and I should mention that that protagonist raped his sister several years before they had consensual sex.

Cotton B. Gross posted:
"What's done is done. I give Ryo back her own menstrual blood- through my mouth!"

Cotton B. Gross posted:
The I-Train can't arrive soon enough.

Change of heart? Or just dropping the ruse?

Cotton B. Gross posted:
I love how Yukari was more apprehensive about having sex with his fake sister than his real cousin.

Oh but he's better now right? No. No he's not.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:10

Garin: Oct 18, 2007; Kick Jonathan

un peu anime posted:

um. isntead of pussy and n*pples? Why would you thin kthat.

ask Cotton, he did it.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:10

Stanly Coober: Nov 4, 2008

anime pug incest. the ultimate cotton b gross fantasy.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:13

Pyronic: Oct 1, 2008; ROYAL RAINWHARRGARBL

http://www.viddler.com/explore/Notsartak/videos/4/

quote:

At least it's not the incest train!

http://www.viddler.com/explore/Notsartak/videos/3/

quote:

Uh, do 10 year olds count as Women?

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:21

Hog Butcher: Jan 21, 2005; NO, YOU CAN'T

didn't he post a thread saying he was leaving because internet in a mental institution was 4000 a month or something

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:25

Stegosaurus: Sep 30, 2005; _{yeah it was like, we came in one day and there was a five-seven just chillin on airbus two. we were like, 'the hell?'}

lmao they're missing the only good lp ever in their stupid archive

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:28

Hog Butcher: Jan 21, 2005; NO, YOU CAN'T

Cotton B. Gross posted:

My favorite bad Wikipedia article was about this guy who called himself "Sollog" who claimed to be a psychic. He created his own article, and would post on message boards using dozens of sockpuppets. The article was taken down in April; it was the fourth time it was up for deletion.

It's kind of a shame that it got deleted, since the discussion page was loving hilarious. It had to be divided into eight pages, and Sollog posted as a "Sollog fan" from China using horrible pidgin English.

My second favorite bad Wikipedia article was about this Sesame Street Sketch. It took two deletion attempts to get rid of that one.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:32

hugepeeler: Nov 21, 2008

http://video.google.com/videoplay?d...660385040424680

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:37

Epitome: Apr 14, 2003; IF ONLY THE TIGER HAD KILLED MY WORTHLESS ASS INSTEAD

For me,hentai is all about plot and closure.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:37

jamal jenkins: Dec 18, 2007; by The Finn

phew im not the only one with a bookmark folder of hilarious wikipedia discussion pages

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:40

Snake Plissken: Sep 15, 2007; Can I have operation on eye with laser? Does this conform to Sharia?

hmm..

Cotton B. Gross posted:

The game is really hosed up even if you take out the loli. The catgirls are all that way because they have a terminal disease and they all die in the true ending. One of the underage twins gets shot while attacking one of the other girls in a bestial rage

http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cach...en&ct=clnk&cd=1

no, I haven't played it. I don't speak japanese and there's no way this game's ever getting released outside japan due to it's loli content, i just looked it up out of sheer morbid curiosity

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:43

Garin: Oct 18, 2007; Kick Jonathan

About using FAQs:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Eh, I had a bad experience with using them for non-game stuff. I was on a date with this cute girl, and I stepped out to consult the walkthrough I had printed out. Unfortunately, I'd mixed up the pages, and the one that was on top talked about clitoral stimulation.

To make a long story short, I'm on a government watchlist now.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:49

Filburt Shellbach: Nov 6, 2007; Apni tackat say tujay aaj mitta juu gaa!

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Also, you really don't want to know what that squeaking obscured. Trust me.

thanks for making my lp even weirder bud

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:52

Davelord Cheeto: Jul 8, 2003

welcome to my domain

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:53

Notorious D.I.A.G.: Nov 4, 2008; You, change your mind, like a girl, changes clothes

he doesn't just post in letsplay either he's all over the place, and universally creepy

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:54

Stegosaurus: Sep 30, 2005; _{yeah it was like, we came in one day and there was a five-seven just chillin on airbus two. we were like, 'the hell?'}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejL4uWaXM-w lmao

# ? Nov 25, 2008 05:55

Vanpoulles: Nov 1, 2005; by Ozma

Cotton B. Gross posted:

You must take the I Train
To go to have sex with your cousin Sae

If you miss the I Train
You'll find you've missed the quickest way to incest

Hurry, get on, now, it's coming
Listen to those rails a-thrumming (ZUNK ZUNK ZUNK)

Get on the I Train
Soon you will be inside your cousin's pussy

maybe the worst post ever made

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:02

Verliox: Apr 26, 2004; Verliox Edward Robert Longfellow

"on a date with a cute girl"

"stepped outside to consult my walkthrough"

dude doesnt make a lick of sense here

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:12

Stanly Coober: Nov 4, 2008

"cute" is probably used liberally there, which makes printing a guide from the internet out to read while on a date even more shameful, if that's possible.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:15

Verliox: Apr 26, 2004; Verliox Edward Robert Longfellow

i know u gotta at least memorize a few lines before you go, none of this cheat sheet bullshit

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:24

Syrg Sapphire: Mar 27, 2007; i love so much i love when love hurts

This dude can still manage to post about underage panties, incest, and anime in LF, for gently caress's sake.

Cotton B. Gross posted:

geez, the Italian one is just 12 and they still have panty shots of her

JAPAN!!!!

Cotton B. Gross posted:

"An Ode to Hentai"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX-0Y1Gyyak

WHY DON'T YOU TOUCH BIG SISTER'S TITS TO CHEER YOU UP

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:32

Verliox: Apr 26, 2004; Verliox Edward Robert Longfellow

where can i get a fuckin shirt that says mega milk on it

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:35

General Ironicus: Aug 21, 2008; What a tuber...

I know the Ode to Hentai isn't him, but its how I'll see him anyway.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:41

Syrg Sapphire: Mar 27, 2007; i love so much i love when love hurts

On gay rights:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Whatever, [prop 8]'s still not as evil as rule 5 in the Let's Play forum

Shockingly enough, this one is:

quote:

5. NO HENTAI. None. This means no anime pornography games.

His blog
He contributed to this (he's "HndsomPete")
OKCupid (this one's definitely him, keeps mentioning pugs)

Some images of our boy:

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:48

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; If you even dream of covering me you'd better wake up and apologize

Syrg posted:

gently caress

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:49

Filburt Shellbach: Nov 6, 2007; Apni tackat say tujay aaj mitta juu gaa!

OKCupid posted:

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here

I tend to be pretty private about a lot of stuff, but I'll admit that I used to be very afraid of sunflowers and still don't like being around the larger ones (especially when they're dying).

vcan you blame him?

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:50

JIHAD JERRY: Mar 16, 2004; by Fragmaster

Snake Plissken posted:

he felt like had to make sure everyone knew jihad jerry was trolling

A security guard shot and killed a man wielding a sword Sunday on the grounds of a Scientology building in Hollywood, police said.

so he made this post in gbs

and this one in lf

he ruined everything. send that hentai loving sonichu looking motherbitch back to 4chan or wherever

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:53

Verliox: Apr 26, 2004; Verliox Edward Robert Longfellow

lookit him chillin with children and small animals despite those restraining orders

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:55

Syrg Sapphire: Mar 27, 2007; i love so much i love when love hurts

Actually feels the need to correct the pronounciation of "kiddie porn" (I think? I honestly can't figure this one out in context either)

Cotton B. Gross posted:

I like how he says "LOLi," just like ActionBastard.

He's commenting on a journal post marked as "lots of lolis and panties" over here (bet you can't guess which one he is)
Strangely enough, he seems to be a private sort, not deciding to leave a trail of favorites/uploaded images, meaning his presence here is sort of useless to this. I'm wondering a bit about that...

Oh, and for more fun, click on the "questions" page on the OK Cupid account. The first thing it asked me, to get to know him:

quote:

You're answering questions that matter to CottonBGross.
Would you consider meeting 2 people online, and arranging a threesome?

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:55

Syrg Sapphire: Mar 27, 2007; i love so much i love when love hurts

Someone check: isn't this Djynn Flyssa? Because he turned up in the comments on here too with one search. I can't get it to show and think it's one of the "hidden by owner" ones.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 06:57

General Ironicus: Aug 21, 2008; What a tuber...

quote:

I was on a date with this cute girl

On OKCupid, 6 things he could never do wihtout:

quote:

1. The somethingawful forums (I love chatting with other goons) 2. My music collection 3. A good library 4. Peace and quiet at night 5. A decent CD store 6. Lots of diet soda

Also:

quote:

I'm looking for someone to have a relationship with and someone with whom I can identify.

He seems to identify with cartoon children?

How does a Hentai addict get the "less kinky" personality award?

General Ironicus fucked around with this message at Nov 25, 2008 around 07:21

# ? Nov 25, 2008 07:14

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# ? May 26, 2013 07:16

Syrg Sapphire: Mar 27, 2007; i love so much i love when love hurts

Decided to post cartoon tits in a thread involving a cartoon bear:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Already done , requires deviantart account to view

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Decided to talk about pre-pubescent tits in a GBS thread:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

This thread reminded me of a celebrity-themed sex story site I came across a few years back, so I decided to check it. I remembered a lot of posts in LF about how hot Sarah Palin was, so I decided to check to see if there were any stories about her there. I mean, she's been in the news a lot, and she's not entirely unattractive, so someone must have written an amusing sex story or two about her, right?

To make a long story short, the only Sarah Palin-related story there was about... her seven-year-old daughter.

I guess he really is all up in arms about people not pronouncing this right:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

Don't forget Actionbased and how he defended lolicon. Gotta love how he pronounces "loli".

Aaaand this one stands on its own:

Cotton B. Gross posted:

"If you're not into loli, you are not my friend"

I'm out for now, that is way more of his posts than I ever wanted to look through and it's only page 7 of the 30 in live forums.

# ? Nov 25, 2008 07:15

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