Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«1342 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Alex007
Jul 8, 2004



quote:

From: CEO
To: Alex007
Subject: PC

Alex007,

I left my father's PC on your desk, he says he can't receive emails anymore. The last email he got was from somebody he didn't know, and when he opened the attachment he stopped receiving emails.

Fun fact: I'm a programmer, not the IT guy. We're extra busy in our usual end-of-year rush and he brings me his father's PC.

Why doesn't he ask this to the IT guy ? We're sharing IT with our parent company, and he doesn't want the parent company to know he makes us fix the computers of everyone he ever met. Three weeks ago it was his wife's PC that he dropped by my desk.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Alex007 posted:

Fun fact: I'm a programmer, not the IT guy. We're extra busy in our usual end-of-year rush and he brings me his father's PC.

Why doesn't he ask this to the IT guy ? We're sharing IT with our parent company, and he doesn't want the parent company to know he makes us fix the computers of everyone he ever met. Three weeks ago it was his wife's PC that he dropped by my desk.

Is that the entire email? Did he not even bother to say "thanks" at least? I mean, I know he's the CEO and all, but what a dick move.

Alex007
Jul 8, 2004



haljordan posted:

Is that the entire email? Did he not even bother to say "thanks" at least? I mean, I know he's the CEO and all, but what a dick move.

No thanks, nothing. He called my phone half an hour later because I didn't immediately reply, he told me to work on it today (since the IT guy is not here today).

Edit: He's not really a dick, he's just WAY TOO BUSY to say thanks.

Hawzy
Dec 13, 2002



Agreed, what a dick - for wasting your time and abusing company resources. He should be taking that poo poo to geeksquad.

foobat
Nov 25, 2008


I'll throw in

quote:

Dear [foobat],

Can you come to room 241? There seems to be a problem with [machine A]'s backup, on the original machine via [server] in [some directory] I have 40 files but on [server] from [machine B] I can only see 10

Thanks,
Some user

Basically she was using different sized terminal windows on the 2 machines, so 'ls' formatted them into a different number of columns. I don't think she understands that even if you logon to a different machine, the files on our server ARE THE SAME.

quote:

Hi,

I am running [some random scientific program] and I am not getting the results I want, could you please take a look?

I am not a scientist, that is your job...

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box

foobat posted:

I am not a scientist, that is your job...

To paraphrase programming advice from userfriendly:
code:
if(it comes out wrong)
{
    do until(it comes out right)
}

Icesler
Jul 7, 2005


Ticket Number HD00000012345

Description: User states that computer no longer connects to internet. User also states computer is underwater.




I go out on the shop floor to check out the PC. The drains clogged up during the rain and the whole department is in 2 inches of water. Computer was sitting on the floor and they were still trying to use it.

Conversation proceeds like this.
Me: "What are you doing?! Turn it off!!!"
Worker: "But I thought only IT can move computer equipment."
Me: "That has nothing to do with turning a computer off!"
Worker: "Hey, I don't make the rules pal."

So I turn the PC off then set it on top of a cabinet to let it dry out until they fix the leak.

Worker: "Well how am I supposed to go on the internet when the computer is on top of that cabinet?!"

Icesler fucked around with this message at Dec 17, 2008 around 16:48

Richard Noggin
Jun 6, 2005
Redneck By Default


Just noticed that a customer's server dropped off the air. I took a drive over there (in a snowstorm) and found that they had unplugged the DSL modem to plug an analog phone in because their phone system wasn't working right.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Richard Noggin posted:

Just noticed that a customer's server dropped off the air. I took a drive over there (in a snowstorm) and found that they had unplugged the DSL modem to plug an analog phone in because their phone system wasn't working right.

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "....It wasn't plugged in."

Fishstick
Jul 9, 2005

Does not require preheating

haljordan posted:

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "....It wasn't plugged in."

Replace "plug" with DROP vs ACCEPT in iptables and I'd say about 5 times a day.

bazaar apparatus
Nov 30, 2006

Whenever my body starts to feel sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead.

haljordan posted:

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "....It wasn't plugged in."

Ugh, more times than I care to count

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005

Embrace this moment.
Remember, we are eternal.


haljordan posted:

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "....It wasn't plugged in."

I hate the customer who refuses to work with you. A way I've gotten people to fix it is to tell them to unplug it and make sure that it is in the slot correctly. Another way is to ask them to unplug it and make sure that it is plugged in tight.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Spazz posted:

I hate the customer who refuses to work with you. A way I've gotten people to fix it is to tell them to unplug it and make sure that it is in the slot correctly. Another way is to ask them to unplug it and make sure that it is plugged in tight.

One of my customers was notorious for this. I'm in Albany; they're in NYC. There'd be times when I'd ask them to power cycle their firewall and I'd hear all this bitching about how "this isn't my job, blah blah blah, I shouldn't be crawling around under a desk."

Finally I told them that if they weren't going to do it, they'd have to pay me $150/hr plus travel time to come down there and do it for them.

Inverse Icarus
Dec 4, 2003

The only way to go is up.



Spazz posted:

I hate the customer who refuses to work with you. A way I've gotten people to fix it is to tell them to unplug it and make sure that it is in the slot correctly. Another way is to ask them to unplug it and make sure that it is plugged in tight.

What's the flip side to this, though? When you have an intelligent, techie on the other end of a service call? Do you guys pick up on it and just give him direct help?

I called Comcast the other day, as my internet was out for almost 12 hours, and I immediately told them that yes, I power cycled the modem three times, I tried directly connecting it to a laptop instead of my router, blah blah blah. He says he needs to bring up my account information, and shortly thereafter, asks me to power cycle my modem again, before he "did" anything.

During this conversation, my cell phone dies, so I have to call back with my girlfriend's cell. I get a new tech, and I explain to him what I explained before, and I told him that the last tech made me jump through hoops and blah blah blah. I tell him straight up that I'm a Software Engineer that works for Cisco, and I am 90% sure my modem is busted.

He then makes me go into the networking properties, hand-holding all the way, while I mindlessly drone "yes", "I know", "yes", "found it".

"Do you see a big red X on your LAN connection? Do you know which is your LAN connection?"

"No. Yes." (You goddamned idiot)

"I guess we're going to have to send out a tech."

And then, my girlfriend's phone died. I swear, I almost threw it against the wall and started muttering angrily. Borrowed my roommates phone, and had to go through THE WHOLE THING AGAIN, even though I mentioned I was on the phone with TWO TECHS, one of which I had the name of. When he told me to power cycle my modem I said, "I've done that at least a dozen times already, three of them on the phone with techs." And he asked me to do it again, "For giggles".

So, I did it, and guess what? It didn't work.

Finally, after literally an hour and a half of phone calls and frustration, they scheduled a tech to come the next day, who sure enough plugged his thing into the modem and beep boop beeboop the modem's loving broken. He got a new one from the truck and BAM INTERNET.

Inverse Icarus fucked around with this message at Dec 17, 2008 around 19:02

Chunky Monkey
Jun 12, 2005
Kill the Gnome!

haljordan posted:

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "....It wasn't plugged in."

Or the variation on this

Me: "are they plugged in?"
user: "yes its plugged in"
Me: "Is it plugged in the green hole with the picture of headphones next to it?"
User: ".... uhh, thanks for your help."

Apparently her speakers hadnt worked for "years"

Arsten
Feb 18, 2003


Inverse Icarus posted:

What's the flip side to this, though? When you have an intelligent, techie on the other end of a service call? Do you guys pick up on it and just give him direct help?

I called Comcast the other day, as my internet was out for almost 12 hours, and I immediately told them that yes, I power cycled the modem three times, I tried directly connecting it to a laptop instead of my router, blah blah blah. He says he needs to bring up my account information, and shortly thereafter, asks me to power cycle my modem again, before he "did" anything.

During this conversation, my cell phone dies, so I have to call back with my girlfriend's cell. I get a new tech, and I explain to him what I explained before, and I told him that the last tech made me jump through hoops and blah blah blah. I tell him straight up that I'm a Software Engineer that works for Cisco, and I am 90% sure my modem is busted.

He then makes me go into the networking properties, hand-holding all the way, while I mindlessly drone "yes", "I know", "yes", "found it".

"Do you see a big red X on your LAN connection? Do you know which is your LAN connection?"

"No. Yes." (You goddamned idiot)

"I guess we're going to have to send out a tech."

And then, my girlfriend's phone died. I swear, I almost threw it against the wall and started muttering angrily. Borrowed my roommates phone, and had to go through THE WHOLE THING AGAIN, even though I mentioned I was on the phone with TWO TECHS, one of which I had the name of. When he told me to power cycle my modem I said, "I've done that at least a dozen times already, three of them on the phone with techs." And he asked me to do it again, "For giggles".

So, I did it, and guess what? It didn't work.

Finally, after literally an hour and a half of phone calls and frustration, they scheduled a tech to come the next day, who sure enough plugged his thing into the modem and beep boop beeboop the modem's loving broken. He got a new one from the truck and BAM INTERNET.

On phone calls, you can't tell what the gently caress the person knows. And I've had people who "graduated from MIT" ask me which part of the computer is the monitor.

Just because you say "Yeah, I'm so super-stud with technology!" doesn't mean they'll listen for one of two reasons: They have been doing tech support too long to believe you or they haven't done it long enough to deviate from the script.

Basically, pull all the information you can manage while they do it and print it out or write it down. When they ask you about something give them the answer you've already processed. Everything just goes faster.

ShizCakes
Jul 16, 2001
BANNED

Inverse Icarus posted:

I'm a Software Engineer

Bar none, every single time I have heard that phrase in the context of someone being indignant while requesting tech support, they turn out to be totally clueless. "Left or Right Click?"

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Arsten posted:

On phone calls, you can't tell what the gently caress the person knows. And I've had people who "graduated from MIT" ask me which part of the computer is the monitor.

Just because you say "Yeah, I'm so super-stud with technology!" doesn't mean they'll listen for one of two reasons: They have been doing tech support too long to believe you or they haven't done it long enough to deviate from the script.

Basically, pull all the information you can manage while they do it and print it out or write it down. When they ask you about something give them the answer you've already processed. Everything just goes faster.

People sometimes complain that you "treat them like a moron" because you ask them basic troubleshooting steps. Listen, I don't custom tailor my troubleshooting because you're a "computer genius". If you're calling me, you don't know what you're doing, so just let me do my thing.

Strong Sauce
Jul 2, 2003

You know I am not really your father.

Inverse Icarus posted:


You should understand that the tech guy on the other line has heard it from people A BAJILLION TIMES ("I'm smart","I have a degree from X","I'm the blah blah blah blah"). They do not want to be stuck on the phone with you for 4 hours to find out you weren't really that smart and the modem wasn't plugged in all the way etc etc nor do they want to send out a technician and waste the technician's time when talking over the phone could possibly save everyone all that hassle. Also it is their job to ask because if they don't they could get fired for not going through the motions.

Next time just use a phone that is completely charged so you don't have to go through it 3 times? I mean I'm betting the fact that you had two phones die on you while talking to them may imply to them that you're not paying attention.

Drighton
Nov 30, 2005



haljordan posted:

How many times have you guys had this conversation:

Me: "Is [piece of equipment] plugged in?"
Customer: "Yes, its plugged in; I'm not an idiot."
Me: "Please physically look and make sure its plugged in."
Customer: "Dammit I pay you guys a fortune in support fees, send a tech out here to fix your loving equipment!"

*2 hours later*

Me: So what was the problem?
Field Tech: "It wasn't plugged in."
Me: Solution?
Field Tech: "Plugged it in."
Me: Departure time?
Field Tech: 3:41 AM
Me: What a douche, eh?
Field Tech: Yeah, really.

More like this
I'm glad I don't work in a call center anymore.

HairyNipple!
Dec 31, 2004

hello i am fast cheap awesome


I come in this morning and find this in my inbox.

Director posted:

Hi - let me know if you are not the right person to help with a Blackberry meltdown but mine has detached its memory from the email and gone into cyber space after a 60 second warning and asking for a special blackberry code that I didn't have....??

Perhaps I am not a good owner but now it is just a phone that doesn't work that well either.. Can you help??

She's a nice lady though, so I guess I'll just go up and find out what the christ she's talking about.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


HairyNipple! posted:

I come in this morning and find this in my inbox.


She's a nice lady though, so I guess I'll just go up and find out what the christ she's talking about.

Well its in cyberspace now...Better put on your space helmet or some poo poo.

chizad
Jul 9, 2001

'Cus we find ourselves in the same old mess
Singin' drunken lullabies

haljordan posted:

People sometimes complain that you "treat them like a moron" because you ask them basic troubleshooting steps. Listen, I don't custom tailor my troubleshooting because you're a "computer genius". If you're calling me, you don't know what you're doing, so just let me do my thing.

I custom tailor my troubleshooting for some of my users, but only after I've worked with them enough that I know they really do have a clue what they're talking about. And even then I'll still walk them through the basic physical wiring stuff. I just phrase it something like "Stupid question, but I've gotta ask: you've checked the cables and powercycled it, right?" to acknowledge that yes it's basic stuff and I'm sure they've already checked it, but I still have to ask just to be sure.


Inverse Icarus posted:

What's the flip side to this, though? When you have an intelligent, techie on the other end of a service call? Do you guys pick up on it and just give him direct help?

I called Comcast the other day, as my internet was out for almost 12 hours, and I immediately told them that yes, I power cycled the modem three times, I tried directly connecting it to a laptop instead of my router, blah blah blah. He says he needs to bring up my account information, and shortly thereafter, asks me to power cycle my modem again, before he "did" anything.

During this conversation, my cell phone dies, so I have to call back with my girlfriend's cell. I get a new tech, and I explain to him what I explained before, and I told him that the last tech made me jump through hoops and blah blah blah. I tell him straight up that I'm a Software Engineer that works for Cisco, and I am 90% sure my modem is busted.

He then makes me go into the networking properties, hand-holding all the way, while I mindlessly drone "yes", "I know", "yes", "found it".

"Do you see a big red X on your LAN connection? Do you know which is your LAN connection?"

"No. Yes." (You goddamned idiot)

"I guess we're going to have to send out a tech."

And then, my girlfriend's phone died. I swear, I almost threw it against the wall and started muttering angrily. Borrowed my roommates phone, and had to go through THE WHOLE THING AGAIN, even though I mentioned I was on the phone with TWO TECHS, one of which I had the name of. When he told me to power cycle my modem I said, "I've done that at least a dozen times already, three of them on the phone with techs." And he asked me to do it again, "For giggles".

So, I did it, and guess what? It didn't work.

Finally, after literally an hour and a half of phone calls and frustration, they scheduled a tech to come the next day, who sure enough plugged his thing into the modem and beep boop beeboop the modem's loving broken. He got a new one from the truck and BAM INTERNET.

I absolutely hate this poo poo. I completely understand the reasons others have mentioned for why they do it, but it's still frustrating. Especially when you're calling a hardware or software vendor about an issue you're having with one of their products. I know with Joe Smith on the consumer line they've got to walk him through all the troubleshooting steps. But when I get to the point that I pick up the phone to call Lenovo or whoever about a laptop we have somewhere in the company, I've exhausted all of my troubleshooting steps and googled the gently caress out of the issue. 99 times out of 100 the fix is either going to be digging up an article buried in their internal KB that most of the techs don't even know exists because they've never heard of the issue or sending me a replacement part/arranging to send it in for repair.

chizad fucked around with this message at Dec 17, 2008 around 21:46

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005

Embrace this moment.
Remember, we are eternal.


I'm going to strongly suggest at our next meeting that we work out a presentation to give at the beginning of the year that is mandatory for all teachers that will explain how Technology works in the district and how we can make their job easier. One of the topics will be finding a healthy median between too little information (See #1), too much information (See #2), and just the right amount (See #3). Also they don't need to justify why it needs to be fixed, they can emphasize on whether it's urgent or not, but most teachers can improvise their lesson plan to at least give a half-assed instruction for the day, which is also in #2. It'll make our jobs a little better and make them happier since they'll get better support. All of these are tickets I've had, I just retyped them from memory.
#1

quote:

COMPUTER DOESNT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET
Solution? They needed to hit the Wireless button on their laptop.
#2

quote:

I CAN'T GET ONTO THE INTERNET AND MY COMPUTER DOESN'T WORK I NEED MY LAPTOP TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE STUDENTS WITH TEACHING I'M IN ROOM 152 IM USING AN HP COMPAQ 8430 WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO GET ONTO THE INTERNET TO PROVIDE STUDENTS I DONT HAVE A LESSON PLAN FOR THE DAY AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT SOMEONE GETS DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY TO PROVIDE ME WITH HELP SO I CAN TEACH
Same fix as above.
#3

quote:

My laptop won't let me view the video footage from CNN.com, it's saying I need a plugin. Room 130, I'm available all day.
That's all the information I need to find the fix and quickly install it in less then 5 minutes, rather then sifting through a wall of text.

Inverse Icarus posted:

What's the flip side to this, though? When you have an intelligent, techie on the other end of a service call? Do you guys pick up on it and just give him direct help?

What Arsten said, but sometimes I can pick up on how tech savvy someone is just by the way they describe the problem. I only did that for a few months, where I am now I do deskside (see: computer janitor). I've gone through everything you have, I just did with Dell over my laptop malfunctioning. Sadly, I've also worked with some software engineers who didn't know poo poo about gently caress when it comes to computers. This also falls into a whole other problem that could be a thread in it's own of programmers who don't understand how TCP/IP works yet still program in it and make lovely programs.

s0meb0dy0
Feb 27, 2004

The death of a child is always a tragedy, but let's put this in perspective, shall we? I mean they WERE palestinian.

Spazz posted:

What Arsten said, but sometimes I can pick up on how tech savvy someone is just by the way they describe the problem.
Exactly, someone who is tech saavy will describe the problem, what they've tried to fix it, and any ideas as to what is causing it.

I'll never call tech support and say "this doesn't work". I'll say "this doesn't work, but I tried doing it in a different way and it did, so I think this is the problem...."

Ryokurin
Jul 14, 2001

Wanna Die?

Inverse Icarus posted:

What's the flip side to this, though? When you have an intelligent, techie on the other end of a service call? Do you guys pick up on it and just give him direct help?

I called Comcast the other day, as my internet was out for almost 12 hours, and I immediately told them that yes, I power cycled the modem three times, I tried directly connecting it to a laptop instead of my router, blah blah blah. He says he needs to bring up my account information, and shortly thereafter, asks me to power cycle my modem again, before he "did" anything.

During this conversation, my cell phone dies, so I have to call back with my girlfriend's cell. I get a new tech, and I explain to him what I explained before, and I told him that the last tech made me jump through hoops and blah blah blah. I tell him straight up that I'm a Software Engineer that works for Cisco, and I am 90% sure my modem is busted.

He then makes me go into the networking properties, hand-holding all the way, while I mindlessly drone "yes", "I know", "yes", "found it".

"Do you see a big red X on your LAN connection? Do you know which is your LAN connection?"

"No. Yes." (You goddamned idiot)

"I guess we're going to have to send out a tech."

And then, my girlfriend's phone died. I swear, I almost threw it against the wall and started muttering angrily. Borrowed my roommates phone, and had to go through THE WHOLE THING AGAIN, even though I mentioned I was on the phone with TWO TECHS, one of which I had the name of. When he told me to power cycle my modem I said, "I've done that at least a dozen times already, three of them on the phone with techs." And he asked me to do it again, "For giggles".

So, I did it, and guess what? It didn't work.

Finally, after literally an hour and a half of phone calls and frustration, they scheduled a tech to come the next day, who sure enough plugged his thing into the modem and beep boop beeboop the modem's loving broken. He got a new one from the truck and BAM INTERNET.

When you've been on the support line for an extended period, you hear that everyone is a programmer or a engineer and if they aren't flat out telling a lie, they still don't know poo poo about computers. Not to mention that some companies write you up for not following the steps even if you are positive that the customer has already done so. Next time you have a situation like that just humor them and go along. If you've done it, then just sit back and play along, along with waiting a reasonable mount of time for a reboot, none of that "Ok, its rebooting (5 seconds later) its back" stuff. You can throw in you know computers, but still just let him get through his list so he can cover his rear end. Yes you are wasting 10 minutes of time, but its better than wasting 30 trying to prove that you know what you are doing.

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005

Embrace this moment.
Remember, we are eternal.


Ryokurin posted:

When you've been on the support line for an extended period, you hear that everyone is a programmer or a engineer and if they aren't flat out telling a lie, they still don't know poo poo about computers. Not to mention that some companies write you up for not following the steps even if you are positive that the customer has already done so. Next time you have a situation like that just humor them and go along. If you've done it, then just sit back and play along, along with waiting a reasonable mount of time for a reboot, none of that "Ok, its rebooting (5 seconds later) its back" stuff. You can throw in you know computers, but still just let him get through his list so he can cover his rear end. Yes you are wasting 10 minutes of time, but its better than wasting 30 trying to prove that you know what you are doing.

They can also get trouble for breaking away from their flowchart.

Baggins
Feb 21, 2007

Like a Great Wind!


Spazz posted:

This also falls into a whole other problem that could be a thread in it's own of programmers who don't understand how TCP/IP works yet still program in it and make lovely programs.

This.

I shouldn't have to explain to a so-called sysadmin why his 10MB SDSL only gives him about 900kb/sec when downloading thanks to network overhead and contention ratios and that I'm absolutely certain that this is in no way a problem with the network adapter in his server.

Or how I have to explain nearly every day that a 300GB hard drive only will give you ~270GB of useable space due to all manufacturers not knowing the difference between 1000 and 1024.

Or how I need to hammer it into your head that when two drives in your RAID5 array fails there's no way you'll get that data back unless you're willing to part with at the very least six figures. No, that is not covered under warranty, read the goddamned terms and conditions.

Or how you not verifying your backups is not my problem when you lose data and forgot to take the write protection off your tapes after you played with them a couple of months back.

Or how when your system is out of warranty I'll be glad to help you diagnose the problem and give you part numbers for whatever part has failed, but when I cannot under any circumstance send out the parts to you this is not my personal fault. Even if the system would allow me to, I would lose my job faster than you'd be able to gently caress up swapping out a power supply.


Eh, at least the money's somewhat decent.....

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


I try to tell people that when submitting a ticket, include ANY information you can think of. I've never gotten a support ticket and said "goddamn, there's too much relevant info here." But every day, I do say to myself "oh what the gently caress" due to lack of info.






They do not take my advice.

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005

Embrace this moment.
Remember, we are eternal.


Baggins posted:

I shouldn't have to explain to a so-called sysadmin why his 10MB SDSL only gives him about 900kb/sec when downloading thanks to network overhead and contention ratios and that I'm absolutely certain that this is in no way a problem with the network adapter in his server.

A bit OT, but I had someone who was absolutely positive that there was something wrong with his internet because he was only downloading around 1200kb/sec when he had a 10mbit connection. In only so many words, he thought I was lying to him and Comcast was cheating him. So what did I do? I installed NetMeter on his computer, set it to show Kilobyte first. Then I set it to Kilobit, and when the number came close to 10mbit he nodded "Ok, you're right."

I'm on the Occupation Advisory Committee for the vocational school I went to for networking, and the topic of programmers who don't understand the TCP/IP stack came up. It was an interesting one, and just about all of the people in the room had a story about some programmer who didn't know how to work the flow of their program correctly while using TCP/IP.

Beary Mancrush
Jun 9, 2002


Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.

Icesler posted:


Worker: "Well how am I supposed to go on the internet when the computer is on top of that cabinet?!"



That's just passive agressive. I've noticed maintenance guys do this kind of stuff all the time.

"Hey, uh, your entire site is down."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, it looks like the gateway for your community isn't connected. Can you go into the telephone room and make sure it is hooked up and has lights on it?"
"Oh, well, the power strip for that thing started beeping this morning so I unplugged it."
"Why didn't you replace it with another one or call us?"
"Well, I'm not in IT. I didn't want to screw something up."
"I need you to replace that surge supressor with a new one and send the old one back to us."
"I don't have time today....click"
"gently caress."

Next Day:
Wanted: Maintenance Supervisor for large luxury retirement community. Must have experience maintaining 300+ unit apartment or hotel building.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Lil Bukowski posted:

That's just passive agressive. I've noticed maintenance guys do this kind of stuff all the time.

"Hey, uh, your entire site is down."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, it looks like the gateway for your community isn't connected. Can you go into the telephone room and make sure it is hooked up and has lights on it?"
"Oh, well, the power strip for that thing started beeping this morning so I unplugged it."
"Why didn't you replace it with another one or call us?"
"Well, I'm not in IT. I didn't want to screw something up."
"I need you to replace that surge supressor with a new one and send the old one back to us."
"I don't have time today....click"
"gently caress."

Next Day:
Wanted: Maintenance Supervisor for large luxury retirement community. Must have experience maintaining 300+ unit apartment or hotel building.

I like how he doesn't think that unplugging random poo poo falls under the category of "screwing something up."

Beary Mancrush
Jun 9, 2002


Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.

haljordan posted:

I like how he doesn't think that unplugging random poo poo falls under the category of "screwing something up."

They're all psychotic. Take a techsupport monkey with no training, give him a toolbelt and a substance problem. Send him to a 6 week class on HVAC and electrical safety. That's a plant operations guy.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


Question: When explaining a solution/problem to customers, how much technical terminology do you use? I've been in situations before where using a really simple analogy to explain the problem makes the customer resent you for thinking they're stupid, while being TOO technical annoys them and causes them to stop listening to you.

Beary Mancrush
Jun 9, 2002


Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.

haljordan posted:

Question: When explaining a solution/problem to customers, how much technical terminology do you use? I've been in situations before where using a really simple analogy to explain the problem makes the customer resent you for thinking they're stupid, while being TOO technical annoys them and causes them to stop listening to you.

I try to use the correct terminology, but provide enough context so I don't embarass the person on the other end.

For example, "That Siemens gateway isn't passing internet traffic back and forth between our network and your property. Your computer can talk to the rest of your network, just not anything past that. The tech that NewEdge is sending out there will call it a CPE and will want to make sure that it's plugged in correctly. Can you unplug the Siemens gateway from the power outlet on the wall and plug it back in so we know it's getting juice, please?"

love truncheon
Feb 1, 2006
toot toot!

s0meb0dy0 posted:

Exactly, someone who is tech saavy will describe the problem, what they've tried to fix it, and any ideas as to what is causing it.

I'll never call tech support and say "this doesn't work". I'll say "this doesn't work, but I tried doing it in a different way and it did, so I think this is the problem...."

I got quite adapt at lying to tech support. If you called and said something like:
"My linux box has lost its internet connection. PPPOE discovery packets get no response, I must have lost line sync"
they would tell you that linux wasn't supported and to try a windows box. If you called and said you had no internet, the little orange light on your dlink was blinking but usually solid they would try to help. You just had to time the gaps between when they said to reboot the modem and your canned response.

Full Circle
Feb 20, 2008



Spazz posted:

A way I've gotten people to fix it is to tell them to unplug it and make sure that it is in the slot correctly. Another way is to ask them to unplug it and make sure that it is plugged in tight.

So THAT'S why you bastards always give me that line. Clever.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

haljordan posted:

People sometimes complain that you "treat them like a moron" because you ask them basic troubleshooting steps. Listen, I don't custom tailor my troubleshooting because you're a "computer genius". If you're calling me, you don't know what you're doing, so just let me do my thing.

I had to do that for a friend just last night. Miserable from a cold I answer my phone. One of my best friends finally plugged in the $20 Dell she got from work without an OS. I picked one up and combined the best components into a machine for her and installed an OS. She sets it up, it powers up but the monitor displays nothing except the No Signal logo. Fortunately she called before she got to the hair-pulling phase. I don't think it's hardware, it was running before she took it home. I did have her jiggle the VGA connector in case the card was loose (I had swapped graphics cards, but the good one didn't work). Nothing. She was frustrated, I'd put time into a good setup for her. I dug through everything and finally.... "where is the monitor plugged in, up top with everything else or down below by itself ?" Whew, she had it in the disabled onboard video port. Not bad for a guy with a fever.

For those suffering through tickets where it's a cabling problem, there are a couple of ways to get users to really check them. Usually by lying. If it comes to this, you're already having a bad day, so...

Try having people reverse the network cable, say it's a polarity thing. You say "polarity" and they go into dummymode and stop arguing. Or have them check both ends of the power cable for corrosion. Anything to get them to either check or re-plug the appropriate cable.

angelfoodcakez
Mar 22, 2003
crank dat robocop

Here's one I just remembered. I got called out to an older lady's house because her PC wasn't working. She had moved it from the downstairs bedroom to the upstairs and now it doesn't work. She even bought a new computer and that one didn't work upstairs.

She would turn the computer, the screen would come on, but then the screen would immediately turn off again. The computer kept humming along, but the screen was dead.

Turns out the LCD she was using and her cable modem both had 12v adapters with the same size plug. The one for the cable modem provided .5A, the other did some 3A. The LCD wasn't getting enough juice, so it would turn on for a split second and then die. Once I swapped the connectors, it worked again. She had been on the phone for 3 hours with many techs before they finally sent me out for this. It would have been impossible to predict or diagnose.

I then helped her box up the new PC and take it over to Best Buy to return it. I made up some song and dance on the spot about how she was my mother in law and she had bought this computer for me and how sweet it was but I don't need it, and BB waived the restocking fee. I then dated her daughter for the better part of a year. Good times.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Golbez
Oct 9, 2002

SHATNER SECRETS

daveslash posted:

Holy poo poo this guy was busy. 374 mb is a ridiculous amount of porn in 1995.

Not only that (sorry for the necroquote but just found this thread, and Arsten's posts are amazing), but 374mb back then was a lot of money. The most optimistic estimate I can find online for 1995 hard drive prices is 25 cents a meg, meaning that porn stash alone cost the company nearly a hundred dollars. I'm surprised they didn't fire him on the spot, considering how strict they seemed otherwise.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«1342 »