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Happy Dolphin
Apr 12, 2007



Some time ago but:

Another departments boss: John,
Me:


:I need 30 GB space.

: What for? We just can't give you 30 GB from the SAN, and I can see you already have 15 GB, which is waaay over your normal quota.

: I AM YOUR BOSS!!! NOW YOU GIVE ME THAT 30 GB I NEED!!!

: I need you to specify so I can log why you need it, so we have some control what our storage is used for.

escalates ticket to Lead SysOP - Denied, no reason specified by end-user.

escalates ticket to Network Security Lead - Denied, no reason specified by end-user.

escalates ticket to CEO, and even calls him up. I don't hear anything about it, for a week, and suddenly the ticket is closed.

I look John's up user and see a closed user with the description saying "User closed - Investigation about Warez and possible child-pornography downloading on-going. Contact Network Security Team for more information.


I later find out the moron have been fired, and he have been reported to the authorities. He got 6 years in jail, and a lawsuit.


Oh yeah, our Network Security team have been completely reworked after this little incident so it doesn't happen again.

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UserNotFound
May 7, 2006
???

The blind leading the blind:

some plebian posted:

When you helped ***** ********, our new advisor in Rm 214, with
computer access this past Tuesday, she was not given an AIM access
account. She will be in the office from 1 - 5pm on Monday. Would it be
possible to call me sometime after her arrival to set up a time to come
to her office to assist her with this task?

Hmm...yes, all hail UserNotFound, keeper and granter of AIM accounts...


the same plebian posted:

I have been experiencing a problem with excel spreadsheets for some
time. In talking with Deb and then most recently Lynne, I now think it
is a universal problem for the 2nd floor computers. If I have 2 or more
excel spreadsheets open and want to close one, I have to choose to save
and close both or not close either one.

Lately, I often have 3 different spreadsheets that I am going back and
forth to add data and then only wish to close one at a time. We hope
that you are able to correct this situation. Our greatest concern is
the loss or duplication of data with all the spreadsheets flashing
around - for lack of better explanation.

Wonderful, you've figured out how Excel 2003 operates. And you've confirmed that that's how it works. Now, instead of that X your hitting to close, hit the one right below it...

You can tell I love our 2nd floor...

Dyscrasia
Jun 23, 2003
Give Me Hamms Premium Draft or Give Me DEATH!!!!

UserNotFound posted:


Wonderful, you've figured out how Excel 2003 operates. And you've confirmed that that's how it works. Now, instead of that X your hitting to close, hit the one right below it...

You can tell I love our 2nd floor...

To be fair, that is a pretty stupid and non-standard feature in Excel 2003. Its a pain in the rear end.

dillon
Nov 20, 2002


A client posted:

cancel my server

dillon posted:

We have received your cancellation request, but before we continue, we would like to ask you a few questions... reason for canceling... suggestions for improvement... etc.

A client posted:

cancel my server

bitch

dillon posted:

switch#config terminal
switch(config)#interface f0/5
switch(config-if)#shutdown
switch(config-if)#exit
switch(config)#exit
switch#write

Ahhh.

dillon fucked around with this message at Dec 2, 2008 around 17:13

big mean giraffe
Dec 13, 2003

Eat Shit and Die

Dyscrasia posted:

To be fair, that is a pretty stupid and non-standard feature in Excel 2003. Its a pain in the rear end.

Sounds like the exact same way photoshop works, which I figured out myself and seemed logical instead of taking up 20 entries on the task bar.

m2pt5
May 18, 2005

THAT GOD DAMN MOSQUITO JUST KEEPS COMING BACK


dillon posted:

Ahhh.

To be perfectly honest, I can see this from the other side. When I call up or email or whatever and want to cancel something, I don't want to have to answer a shitload of questions or listen to "fantastic offers", I just want to loving cancel it.

ElCondemn
Aug 7, 2005

The legality is in the condom.

m2pt5 posted:

To be perfectly honest, I can see this from the other side. When I call up or email or whatever and want to cancel something, I don't want to have to answer a shitload of questions or listen to "fantastic offers", I just want to loving cancel it.

Yea really, I hate when companies try to get you to stay on. Chances are if I'm not hassled when I want to cancel and the service was good I'll refer friend and/or sign up again later.

On the opposite side of the coin though, customers that expect a full refund even for the time they used the service are absurd, at least expect a partial refund for the days/weeks/whatever you didn't use it.

Really I don't like people being jerks either way, just because one side is selling and the other buying doesn't mean everyone has to be mean and angry, same with the support tickets.


I have coworkers that have been hung up on by our providers (Qwest, Level 3 etc.) because they were being a bit less than kind, doesn't mean the other guy on the phone wasn't being a jerk but being a jerk back never fixes the problem.

ElCondemn fucked around with this message at Dec 2, 2008 around 17:52

NightGyr
Mar 7, 2005
I � Unicode

big mean giraffe posted:

Sounds like the exact same way photoshop works, which I figured out myself and seemed logical instead of taking up 20 entries on the task bar.

It's actually the way most windows programs worked up until Word 2003 or so decided every document should be a separate taskbar window. Main program window, and document windows inside of that.

To contribute, our classic:

"What does doc. formate mean and why cant i post my assignment in the writting center for exalnce"

c0burn
Sep 2, 2003

The KKKing


big mean giraffe posted:

Sounds like the exact same way photoshop works, which I figured out myself and seemed logical instead of taking up 20 entries on the task bar.

At least on Office 2003 -

Word and Excel take up multiple taskbar entries. One for each open file.
Top right close in Excel will close ALL of your open documents.
Top right close in Word will close that document only.

gently caress you Microsoft.

what is this
Sep 11, 2001

it is a lemur


big mean giraffe posted:

Sounds like the exact same way photoshop works, which I figured out myself and seemed logical instead of taking up 20 entries on the task bar.

it's a microsoft windows user interface feature.

Misogynist
Jul 14, 2003



NightGyr posted:

It's actually the way most windows programs worked up until Word 2003 or so decided every document should be a separate taskbar window. Main program window, and document windows inside of that.

To contribute, our classic:

"What does doc. formate mean and why cant i post my assignment in the writting center for exalnce"
Word actually is one window per document. The other Office applications are not.

friendship waffle posted:

it's a microsoft windows user interface feature.
That's not what he means. MS Office programs (other than Word and Visio) do something really stupid and confusing where it gives you a taskbar entry for each document you have open. Now, the taskbar is not for documents, the taskbar is for windows -- non-dialog windows just go in the taskbar, it's a list of programs you have open, and that's the way it's always been. This signals to the user, who probably doesn't know any better because they keep all their documents maximized on a single 17" monitor and can't tell what's actually going on when they click that button, that each one is a separate application instance, and the "close" button really should be closing the document they're looking at instead of all open documents.

It's seriously one of the most monstrously stupid UI decisions I've ever seen in my entire life.

Misogynist fucked around with this message at Dec 2, 2008 around 18:29

what is this
Sep 11, 2001

it is a lemur


Misogynist posted:

Word actually is one window per document. The other Office applications are not.

That's not what he means. MS Office programs do something really stupid and confusing where it gives you a taskbar entry for each document you have open. Now, the taskbar is not for documents, the taskbar is for windows -- non-dialog windows just go in the taskbar, it's a list of programs you have open, and that's the way it's always been. This signals to the user, who probably doesn't know any better because they keep all their documents maximized on a single 17" monitor and can't tell what's actually going on when they click that button, that each one is a separate application instance, and the "close" button really should be closing the document instead of all open documents.


no, that's still a microsoft windows feature. Programs can have separate taskbar entries, or not. Windows can live inside a container for their application, or not.

Office and Photoshop both like to work in that horribly annoying container method that always gives me flashbacks to windows 3.1. I don't need gray space in between my non-maximized windows. They aren't maximized for a reason - because I want to see other poo poo in between them.

Misogynist
Jul 14, 2003



friendship waffle posted:

no, that's still a microsoft windows feature. Programs can have separate taskbar entries, or not. Windows can live inside a container for their application, or not.

Office and Photoshop both like to work in that horribly annoying container method that always gives me flashbacks to windows 3.1. I don't need gray space in between my non-maximized windows. They aren't maximized for a reason - because I want to see other poo poo in between them.
I'm not talking about MDI. I'm talking about MDI pretending to be SDI to make it easier for the user to have one-click access to their document. Just because Windows provides an API to do it, that doesn't make it a Windows feature any more than Fallout 3 is a Windows feature.

I don't think that MDI is a great thing in the first place from a UI/UX standpoint, but the fact of the matter is that it's a single application instance masquerading on the taskbar as several application instances, and that's a gargantuan mistake. I'm not proposing that the right answer is taking away the taskbar entries -- I'm proposing that the right answer is making each document actually, really, for real this time, I'm totally serious, a real-life separate window, so every normal user on the planet stops getting confused by this bullshit.

Dessert Rose
May 17, 2004

Its me the buttcoin yospos thread effort poster

Misogynist posted:

Word actually is one window per document. The other Office applications are not.

That's not what he means. MS Office programs (other than Word and Visio) do something really stupid and confusing where it gives you a taskbar entry for each document you have open. Now, the taskbar is not for documents, the taskbar is for windows -- non-dialog windows just go in the taskbar, it's a list of programs you have open, and that's the way it's always been. This signals to the user, who probably doesn't know any better because they keep all their documents maximized on a single 17" monitor and can't tell what's actually going on when they click that button, that each one is a separate application instance, and the "close" button really should be closing the document they're looking at instead of all open documents.

It's seriously one of the most monstrously stupid UI decisions I've ever seen in my entire life.

Wait until you want to have two Excel spreadsheets side by side on alternate monitors.

Oh my god it filled me with rage when I tried this. You have to manually open a second instance of Excel, and then you have to manually do File>Open because if you just double click the file, it picks which Excel instance to open in at random.

MDI is the worst "feature" to have been carried over from Win3.0. We do not need it anymore. Why does it loving exist? It's obvious that even the Office team realized this and tried to work around it with this stupid confusing taskbar hack. Why didn't they spend that time converting it to SDI like every sensible application?

Misogynist
Jul 14, 2003



Ryouga Inverse posted:

MDI is the worst "feature" to have been carried over from Win3.0. We do not need it anymore. Why does it loving exist?
I don't think it's always a bad idea. It can remove a lot of window management overhead if you're really doing a lot of things in the same application. For example, a web browser where you have 20 tabs open at the same time, or a development environment where you're working simultaneously on 10 source files in 2 projects.

The problem with MDI is that it has to be apparent to the user that they're working in an MDI application, and then the application has to behave intuitively beyond that point.

Ryouga Inverse posted:

Wait until you want to have two Excel spreadsheets side by side on alternate monitors.

Oh my god it filled me with rage when I tried this. You have to manually open a second instance of Excel, and then you have to manually do File>Open because if you just double click the file, it picks which Excel instance to open in at random.
That's nothing. To open two Project files side-by-side I have to run Project as two different users. (This, coincidentally, makes both instances really, really unstable.)

Kynetx
Jan 8, 2003


Full of ignorant tribalism. Kinda sad.


This is tangentially related...

I work for a large telecommunications company. The job I do requires a large inventory of specialized and expensive tools. These tools have to be ordered through a nightmarishly complicated and confusing piece of poo poo interface working off of SAP software. I swear to god, I believe the system is so byzantine and offensively user-hostile so that most of the older employees will just get scared and never order anything again.
I'm a self-loathing idiot so I just blindly plow through the poorly-written documentation and manage to figure out all the logistics and accounting lingo and place an order. For a screwdriver. Just a plain old #3 Phillips. It costs $35.00 and takes 4 weeks to arrive.
By contrast I could have gone to Lowe's or Harbor Freight and purchased a screwdriver for $15.00 (or less at HF) WITH A LIFETIME WARRANTY and had it within 20 minutes.
In following the company's ideal workflow for obtaining a plain-old stupid screwdriver I took 2 hours of self-training at the loaded labor rate of $75.00 per hour and an additional $35.00 for the tool for a grand total of $185.00. If I just went and got the goddamn thing retail I could have done it on a parts run or on my way into or out of work.

Dyscrasia
Jun 23, 2003
Give Me Hamms Premium Draft or Give Me DEATH!!!!

c0burn posted:

At least on Office 2003 -

Word and Excel take up multiple taskbar entries. One for each open file.
Top right close in Excel will close ALL of your open documents.
Top right close in Word will close that document only.

gently caress you Microsoft.

This is what I was talking about. Its silly to trap a user inside of that grey box and even sillier to have different UI behaviors in the same product suite.

brent78
Jun 23, 2004

I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.

I'm glad to see IT frustrations are nearly the same in every industry. My rant is not about the clueless, computer illiterate users but rather the inane requests from those that suppose to be tech savvy.

ymgve
Jan 2, 2004




Chaos Emerald posted:

The best ticket I got was from a guy who used our FREE web hosting service (was basically offered to hook customers in and get them to sign up for a proper package) to host his businesses website on Once he'd burned the 100 meg bandwidth in about 2 hours, he sent 3 identical tickets bitching about his site being down, which I responded to with the standard explanation that his free account did not have a support contract and that he’d used his allowed bandwidth for the month etc. He then phoned in and proceeded to yell at me about how he paid for Google ads for his site and now it’s down and demanding it be put back online immediately.

It was only a small company and I used to work on my own in the evenings so one idiot who didn’t pay us a single penny ate up an hour of my time where I couldn't deal with anyone else

You couldn't just...hang up? After all, he wasn't a paying customer.

c0burn
Sep 2, 2003

The KKKing


ymgve posted:

You couldn't just...hang up? After all, he wasn't a paying customer.

I hang up all the time on cunts. After I explain the situation (whatever that may be) and whatever it is they need to do next to sort their issue out, if they continue ignoring my advice or trying to get me to do something out of our support scope they go byebye. It's not worth the stress.

I don't get the mentality of people who let people like that take up their time.

EVGA Longoria
Dec 25, 2005

Let's go exploring!


c0burn posted:

I hang up all the time on cunts. After I explain the situation (whatever that may be) and whatever it is they need to do next to sort their issue out, if they continue ignoring my advice or trying to get me to do something out of our support scope they go byebye. It's not worth the stress.

I don't get the mentality of people who let people like that take up their time.

You know what's really awesome?

A job where I don't have to ever interact with a client, everything comes filtered through other channels and the stupid and inane poo poo gets filtered out long before it reaches me.

I think I might miss that.

wolrah
May 8, 2006
what?


Ryouga Inverse posted:

Wait until you want to have two Excel spreadsheets side by side on alternate monitors.

Oh my god it filled me with rage when I tried this. You have to manually open a second instance of Excel, and then you have to manually do File>Open because if you just double click the file, it picks which Excel instance to open in at random.

Even more fun, Excel in Office 2008 on multiple monitors will not let the document go above the level of the primary monitor. This means that when I have my laptop in the office with a monitor above and to the left of the main unit, about half of the second monitor is unusable as far as Excel is concerned.

Tots
Sep 2, 2007



This trouble ticket has been sitting in the system ever since I started working here at the beginning of the semester.

Some Faculty posted:

In need of having my i-pod reconnected. thanks

cr0y
Mar 24, 2005

IRONKNUCKLE PERMBANNED! READ HERE

at work I had to hand over the password to our fairly large keepass password database (the owner of the company asked for it, i can't exactly deny it). So I give it to him, the password is pretty long and complex, i tell him very sternly to not write the password down or tell it to anyone. The security of a lot of this business relies on it. I try to open the database the next day getting a password invalid error, i buzz him up, and he says he changed the password to his first name because the one i had was to hard to remember.

ymgve
Jan 2, 2004




cr0y posted:

at work I had to hand over the password to our fairly large keepass password database (the owner of the company asked for it, i can't exactly deny it). So I give it to him, the password is pretty long and complex, i tell him very sternly to not write the password down or tell it to anyone. The security of a lot of this business relies on it. I try to open the database the next day getting a password invalid error, i buzz him up, and he says he changed the password to his first name because the one i had was to hard to remember.

If you keep it safe, writing down your password isn't that bad. It's far easier for all the hackers out there to brute force the password "joe123" than it is for them to locate that magic post-it and find the complex password.

But don't listen to me, listen to the expert: http://lifehacker.com/software/pass...safe-330057.php

UserNotFound
May 7, 2006
???

Ryouga Inverse posted:

Wait until you want to have two Excel spreadsheets side by side on alternate monitors.

Oh my god it filled me with rage when I tried this. You have to manually open a second instance of Excel, and then you have to manually do File>Open because if you just double click the file, it picks which Excel instance to open in at random.

MDI is the worst "feature" to have been carried over from Win3.0. We do not need it anymore. Why does it loving exist? It's obvious that even the Office team realized this and tried to work around it with this stupid confusing taskbar hack. Why didn't they spend that time converting it to SDI like every sensible application?

.xls association:

excel.exe /e %1

opens new excel instance from explorer. Still, though, file>open doesn't open a new window :\

MOLLUSC
Nov 30, 2005



ymgve posted:

You couldn't just...hang up? After all, he wasn't a paying customer.

He transferred a domain in so would have paid us something eventually.. and no, we got in trouble for hanging up. He would just have kept calling back anyway. Glad I'm not working in that poo poo job any more.

Dessert Rose
May 17, 2004

Its me the buttcoin yospos thread effort poster

UserNotFound posted:

.xls association:

excel.exe /e %1

opens new excel instance from explorer. Still, though, file>open doesn't open a new window :\

Well, I never use file>open, so that actually works really well. Awesome.

ymgve posted:

If you keep it safe, writing down your password isn't that bad. It's far easier for all the hackers out there to brute force the password "joe123" than it is for them to locate that magic post-it and find the complex password.

But don't listen to me, listen to the expert: http://lifehacker.com/software/pass...safe-330057.php
Also, just make it a sentence, like "I would like to log in to our company's keepass database, please." There is no loving way anyone is going to brute force that OR guess it, but it's super easy to remember.

Colonial Air Force
May 22, 2002

Bombing Redcoats since 1775.


Ryouga Inverse posted:

Well, I never use file>open, so that actually works really well. Awesome.

Also, just make it a sentence, like "I would like to log in to our company's keepass database, please." There is no loving way anyone is going to brute force that OR guess it, but it's super easy to remember.

Yeah, and you can use punctuation or leet-speak garbage to make it more secure but still memorable.

Karanth
Dec 25, 2003
I need to finish Xenogears sometime, damn it.

So what do they do for those lovely systems that require 6-12 characters of [a-zA-Z0-9]?

Baggins
Feb 21, 2007

Like a Great Wind!


Karanth posted:

So what do they do for those lovely systems that require 6-12 characters of [a-zA-Z0-9]?

Joe123Smith

In one of my previous jobs, passwords never expired and people were never prompted to change them. They were set to "Companyname123" for all accounts. And when a lot of out business plans and other sensitive information was leaked nothing changed. You see, a sales director "forgot" his laptop in a pub. And I specifically remember this person having used a Dremel to etch the pasword into the wrist rest on his otherwise pristine T60.... You know, in case he forgot and went blind but needed access to his email or something....

Dessert Rose
May 17, 2004

Its me the buttcoin yospos thread effort poster

Commissar posted:

Yeah, and you can use punctuation or leet-speak garbage to make it more secure but still memorable.

You don't need to use leet-speak garbage for a 40 character long password. And if you punctuate the sentence, that's more than enough.

HypeTelecon
May 19, 2003

Destroying ecosystems for fun and profit!

I've worked several places where it didn't really matter what "part" of IT you were in...you just did anything and everything that was dropped on your desk.

Application Developer troubleshoot a desktop printer? Sure.

Network Administrator install Bonzi Buddy? No problem.

System Administrator reprogram the snack machine prices? Oh, why not? He's smart!

I'm much happier now! If the problem doesn't have to do anything with a router, switch, or firewall, this guy doesn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

Best of all? No phone calls...unless I'm making them and it's usually to yell at someone.

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

This hat isn't the only
thing that's big

This thread is making me even more thankful for the Tier-3 job that I have, in which I'm greatly insulated from bullshit by the helpdesk, most requests get handled by the regional field technicians, and I just go out and fix things they are incapable of fixing on their own.

I love my job.

iamstinky
Feb 4, 2004

This is not as easy as it looks.

You didn't get it done in time.
yeah that's because you didn't give me any guidance for the 1st 6 months, then changed every single requirement and the db schema two weeks before you expected it to be done.
we're pulling the project.
just as well, I quit.

And that's why they are under an AG decree to not actually implement the layoffs that were the actual reason I quit 18 months ago. That's some fine bureaucracy they got over there.

CitizenKain
May 27, 2001

That was Gary Cooper, asshole.


I've gotten tickets about network slowness from another IT group that decided to run Rsync between branch servers in the middle of the afternoon. When I change the policy so it can't take as much bandwidth, I get complaints that the Rsync is taking too long. When asked why they don't queue these up for evenings I don't get a response.

guppy
Sep 21, 2004

sting like a byob

HypeTelecon posted:

I've worked several places where it didn't really matter what "part" of IT you were in...you just did anything and everything that was dropped on your desk.
That's me. If it has a transistor in it, they think I'm a subject matter expert. Mostly I'm just willing to think about it and do a little research, which is what sets us apart.

Nebulis01
Dec 30, 2003
Technical Support Ninny

HypeTelecon posted:

I've worked several places where it didn't really matter what "part" of IT you were in...you just did anything and everything that was dropped on your desk.

What do you mean facilities only comes twice a month? The toilet is broken now! (cue IT tearing down the inside of a toilet and installing new parts)

Why don't we have better reception on the break room TV, we won't pay for cable it's too expensive (cue IT installing an OTA HDTV atenna and running 100' of CATV cable)

My digital camera always takes 3 pictures instead of just one...

The conference room needs to be rearranged for the shareholder meeting tonight, and out yeah you have to go pickup chairs from the rental place in your personal vehicle.

I do enjoy my job but yes IT is the 21st centuries "Mr. Fix-It"

Crowley
Mar 13, 2003


Nebulis01 posted:

I do enjoy my job but yes IT is the 21st centuries "Mr. Fix-It"

Your job may be but overall it certainly isn't. Sure, some people think it's proper to call IT and complain about their broken coffee maker. They will get our deepest sympathies and a gentle reminder to call the janitors/kitchen staff/whoever for those kind of jobs.

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bartkusa
Sep 25, 2005

Air, Fire, Earth, Hope


syphon^2 posted:

I work on the Build & Deployment Team for a large Internet software development company. This means my job (aside from handling Builds and Deployments) covers basic investigation of Test Environment problems, configuration issues, and Problems Nobody Else Wants To Deal With.

Your jargon and location lead me to believe we work for the same company. Do phrases like TPID/EAPID and WWPD hold any meaning for you?

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