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Haquer posted:The building has Cock Vendors? And why hasn't this caught on in the rest of the country? I'm a Cock Vendor!  too bad i'm horrible at my job 
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 02:52 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 16:58 |
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Nybble posted:Pandora solves all of these issues. True. Until your IT department blackholes or removes the DNS entry or something to Pandora, so you just look at a blank page for 5 minutes until it gives you a can't resolve message. Then when you ask one of the IT guys if they blocked Pandora, they look at you, and tell you to go talk to HR if they want to know. Really? Just loving tell me if you've blocked it. You obviously have from your response, don't loving send me to HR for an answer, cock. Now we just use Last.fm, which sucks, because they give you huge ugly moving pictures to look at, and there's no pause button. Bleh.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 03:10 |
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Bob Cthulhu posted:I'm a Cock Vendor! Maybe they just wanted some chicken.  I'm surprised there isn't a chicken vending machine by now.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 03:23 |
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Captain Capacitor posted:Maybe they just wanted some chicken.   I've actually seen one like on the right, but not a kosher one. It was at a thruway rest stop.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 03:36 |
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Guy Axlerod posted:
I am always amazed at the constant and relentless dilution of the word "fresh" such that it is now applied to chicken that has probably been inside a vending machine for at least a week. I think this goes hand in hand with products that advertise "Made with real cheese!" on the front of the box.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 04:25 |
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They have the bottom left one in the basement of the U.S. Congress. For what it's worth, the hot dogs aren't half bad...
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 04:54 |
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TheElectronicOne posted:They have the bottom left one in the basement of the U.S. Congress. How desperate do you have to get before you eat a hot dog out of a vending machine? I'm fairly certain I've never been that hungry before.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 05:14 |
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Bob Cthulhu posted:How desperate do you have to get before you eat a hot dog out of a vending machine? I'm fairly certain I've never been that hungry before. like it matters that it's from a vending machine. It's a freakin hotdog.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 05:26 |
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Bob Cthulhu posted:How desperate do you have to get before you eat a hot dog out of a vending machine? I'm fairly certain I've never been that hungry before. Most machines like that the hot dogs are filled into the machine daily. Its no worse than eating 7-11 hot dogs, the only difference is instead of having some teenager pull it out of the heater thing, the machine does it.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 05:32 |
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A ticket came in...about the quality of vended hotdogs.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 05:53 |
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Every single post in this thread serves to remind me why I chose food service over CJ work. Of course, I'm not immune to getting recruited to fix anything and everything that breaks in our store, computer-related or not. Our register system is the CRS 3000, which uses technology that was out of date a decade ago. As a result, I am literally the only person to work in the store within the last two years that has the ability or patience to actually RTFM. The fact that it uses a completely proprietary, not-even-loving-close-to-windows OS probably has a lot to do with it. I got tired of explaining to my boss how to push the same four buttons at the end of each day/week/month to run sales and labor tapes, so I just do all of them myself now. Same goes for employee files, pay rates, and PLU programming. I also am the only person in the store that can use Excel with any degree of competency, so not only do I manage the register programming, I also do all of the daily and period reconciliation, since nobody else knows what the gently caress (and they inevitably gently caress it up if I let them touch it). On the upside, I have an incredible amount of job security since my owner knows I could probably rob him blind (like a lot of his previous staff), yet somehow I don't. I need a raise.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 07:45 |
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Coasterphreak posted:Every single post in this thread serves to remind me why I chose food service over CJ work. Reading this thread sporadically has reminded me why I left CJ work and moved up the stack. I didn't really get out of that "you're everyone's bitch" role until I moved into sales engineering though. Even being the top dog enterprise datacenter architect whatever guy still meant people passive aggressively emailing and calling me when major poo poo broke. Now it's my job to sell your boss and his boss the poo poo we all hate to work on
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 11:03 |
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I got a call yesterday (saturday morning) informing me that "the whole onlineshop has broken down". Onlineshop runs on companies intranet and the company is closed tight on weekends, so any error is at least 24 hours old and until I get some kind of real ticket with a problem description it will be mid-monday. That won't make fixing any easier. So my first question was: What kind of error happend? Answer: Someone registrated and altough choosing all options correct does not see all the products he is supposed to see. Knowing that everything could happen I ask the following question: Whats the name and what options should he have ticket (that would be two dropdowns for department and team)? Answer: He does not remember because the original report came in wednesday and no notes were taken. But that should be no problem, because he thinks he remembers to have asked the one reporting to also write an email, which unfortunatly has not arrived yet because the one calling me has problems recieving his private emails. My approach was to just send a list of all registrants from yesterday to a month back so the one calling me may remembers the name. Also - and that is the 99,99% solution to that problem - I pasted the default response to all the "user does not see products he is supposed to see" requests: User has to log into the shop first to see all the products he is allowed to. I am always amazed that one call of an utter idiot who thinks a webservice will probably feel who he is gets escalated to an earth moving situation when all other 1283 users have not the slightest problem.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 11:08 |
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Cadoc posted:I got a call yesterday (saturday morning) informing me that "the whole onlineshop has broken down".
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 16:58 |
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Yaos posted:Why is it always "NOTHING WORKS" when anything happens? "Nobody can log in" turns into "I forgot my password". "Nobody can get email" turns into "nobody has been sending me email". "Nobody can get in" turns into "no there was no problem". Users are conditioned to believe that the more serious the problem sounds, the faster they'll get a response. Either that, or some of them are just loving drama queens.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 17:32 |
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Yaos posted:Why is it always "NOTHING WORKS" when anything happens? "Nobody can log in" turns into "I forgot my password". "Nobody can get email" turns into "nobody has been sending me email". "Nobody can get in" turns into "no there was no problem". Maybe it is because the person writing a ticket is clueless (or plain stupid) and thinks he is the most important person on the planet. Because of that he thinks that his problem is always a global one. If you are unlucky the person having the problem is either someone in a higher ranking position or finds someone that had (vaguely) the same error (maybe even years ago) and thus escalates his own idiocy to an earth moving event which you will probably be held responsible for. //edit Citizen Z posted:Users are conditioned to believe that the more serious the problem sounds, the faster they'll get a response. Either that, or some of them are just loving drama queens. That may also be right. In addition, at least in one company I worked for, every (serious) problem that happens while the employee's supervisor is on holiday, will not get reported until the superviser returns, to strech the period of not working maybe for a week or even two. That may make a little problem to a very important one, because work that should have been done weeks/month ago is still not done and therefor the employee calls you with his rear end on fire. Cadoc fucked around with this message at Mar 21, 2010 around 17:43 |
| # ? Mar 21, 2010 17:37 |
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Profs are great at this. "My firefox that got end of lifed months ago got removed, I can't be bothered to learn a new Firefox, I'm nearing a very important deadline  "I would believe him more if it weren't the case that he is always to busy for any kind of change. I would believe him more if he had any recent grants that would imply any actual deadlines. I don't think this guy has gotten any new money in 5 years. E: Also, he's a really lovely teacher.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 21:46 |
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The CEO posted:CAN ANYONE GET IN TOUCH WITH TIKKI AND ASK ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS ON PRODUCTION !!!! Apparently, the sales guy had mentioned in passing, that there was an issue on the production system... A problem caused by the sales guy doing something stupid, but nothing affecting other users. I was already working with him on the issue at the time... edit: is fitting somewhere, but I'm too tired to find out where...
Tikki fucked around with this message at Mar 21, 2010 around 23:05 |
| # ? Mar 21, 2010 22:55 |
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That's just yet more proof that Sales are the spoilt brats of any company. "Our salespeople are unique and special snowflakes and if a single one of them has a problem it is a company problem. What do you mean you can't fix it because you've got a 4 year old laptop with a 4 minute battery life? Stop making excuses and get on with it, Darren from Sales can't print*!" * Because he was browsing porn on the clock and now his system is rooted.
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| # ? Mar 21, 2010 23:06 |
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FISHMANPET posted:Profs are great at this. This is one of my favorites. . . I get a certain ticket weekly, and by "ticket" I mean the guy comes down to my office and tells me his computer is locked up and he needs a new one. He runs linux, so I always try to SSH in first to find out the problem, even though I know what it is. 8 virtual desktops, 10 firefox windows, 30+ tabs in each one. Every tab having something to do with orthodox catholicism and anti-abortion groups. This guy is old, on the verge of retirement, has no grants, does no research, and purposefully goes out of his way to not get deadlines for simple things like turning in a syllabus on time. Seriously, My computer at work is a pentium dual core with 2 gigs of ram, I am a tab abuser, sometimes I get ashamed of how many tabs I'll have open at any given time. Then he comes in saying his computer is locked. He runs a c2d with 6 gigs of ram. . . *sigh*
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 02:54 |
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quote:The coffe machine is broken. Fix it. Goddamnit... To make it worse I could just as well post it in the "poo poo that you come across daily that pisses you off" 
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 10:10 |
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Bohemian Cowabunga posted:Goddamnit... To make it worse I could just as well post it in the "poo poo that you come across daily that pisses you off" Ticket Status: Closed Reason: Device is running an unsupported OS.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 12:10 |
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Bohemian Cowabunga posted:Goddamnit... To make it worse I could just as well post it in the "poo poo that you come across daily that pisses you off" I can just imagine the call from some doctor (introducing himself as a doctor of course) to the coffee pot maker bitching about how to get replacement parts for it 
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 12:25 |
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Bohemian Cowabunga posted:Goddamnit... To make it worse I could just as well post it in the "poo poo that you come across daily that pisses you off" "I support your computers. Asking me to fix your coffee maker is like me asking you to fix my treadmill at home. After all, you're a healer and the treadmill helps me to be healthy, right?"
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 13:34 |
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Nybble posted:Pandora solves all of these issues. Except when 3500 people are using it and you wonder why your T's are 100% utilized.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 14:20 |
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Nybble posted:Pandora solves all of these issues. not if you live in a geoblocked location.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 14:24 |
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gently caress Windows Mobile 6.1. Tyhere, I thought it out loud.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 15:41 |
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Cleaning out a public folder whose email address used to belong to the single biggest airhead of an employee we've ever had. For some reason the previous administrator assigned the sub-unit's contact email address (i.e. ggg@gregscompanies.com for Greg's Garage Guys or whatever) directly to this individual rather than giving them their own personal email address like everyone else. Individual eventually moved out of that business unit and I reassigned the email address to a public folder so that the entire business unit could read and respond to customer concerns in a timely fashion, rather than one idiot doling out the contacts any time they happened to remember to check their email. There is, as a result of having a public-facing email address assigned to a massive airhead, a shitload of spam that comes to this address. The users in the department complain frequently about the volume of spam, which is fair enough, and I try to make cleaning out the public folder one of my first priorities in the morning to keep things running smoothly. It's mostly boring as hell, but sometimes you find some funny stuff in there. 
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 15:41 |
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You know you've been a CJ for too long when the first thing you think of while reading that email, is that there must be a link to some golden showers videos somewhere in there. 
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 16:58 |
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Ahhh, a ticket to me to fix something from the security teamcode:
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 17:29 |
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enotnert posted:Ahhh, a ticket to me to fix something from the security team Dooooooooo it. Dooooooooooo it.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 18:04 |
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CitizenKain posted:Dooooooooo it. Dooooooooooo it. Or try to "clean it up" and let the dumbasses ban the controllers. Then it's their blame, not yours.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 18:06 |
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Haquer posted:Or try to "clean it up" and let the dumbasses ban the controllers. Then it's their blame, not yours. They're clean now (although some of my users were miffed that I warned them to save their important work about 5 minutes before I had to reboot the controllers) It's more the fact they sent this email FRIDAY giving us 24 hours. . . My boss got out of chemo around 11 this morning, and the email had just popped into her inbox. Stupid malware worms.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 18:12 |
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enotnert posted:Ahhh, a ticket to me to fix something from the security team We seem to get those pretty frequently on our firewalls and DNS servers. They once actually shut down one of our Firewalls. It was really hard to explain to Security that if you're detecting malware based on DNS lookups, and somebody runs a caching DNS server for an entire department, that every DNS based malware flag is going to come from that server. Of course, once you do explain this and ask for a time and particular DNS query that prompted the flag so we can find the offending host, they don't have the information. I think there are secretly like two or three security departments that just pass abuse notices and tickets around for the fun of it. Sometimes will get something from 'security' that looks like this: code:
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 21:03 |
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So this woman got hired a couple weeks ago. She's been working on a borrowed computer that belongs to her supervisor, who helpfully went to New Zealand for a couple weeks. She's getting moved to her own office finally, good for her! Unfortunately, her supervisors never got back to us about purchasing a workstation for her.. quote:Thanks for the message, D----. I'll be in this afternoon at 2:00, if the computer dudes want to coordinate. I'm thrilled to be on the sunny south side of the building, close to the coffee pot and away from the busy bathroom. ~S---- She has been walking up and down the hall for an hour or so, looknig busy with a little clipboard though. 
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 22:18 |
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BLACKBERRYS BLACKBERRYS BLACKBERRYS BLACKBERRYS BLACKBERRYS
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 22:20 |
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CitizenKain posted:Dooooooooo it. Dooooooooooo it. My boss and I used to have a lovely print server for the departments we support in our office. It's some ancient dell POS, but hey, it worked fine as a print server. Our main motivation for maintaining it was that it gave us a reason to set the AC to 65. One day, word comes down from on high that there's malware on the server. We scan it repeatedly, and are 99% sure that whatever they're finding, it's a false positive. Unacceptable, they say! So, we take the steps they say to take, and promptly break the server. Many hours of an attempted restore later, and it's still broken. Everything gets migrated to the big, university-wide print server, and now we have a useless rack taking up too big a footprint in the office. Way to go, head security guy who got shitcanned 2 months later!
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 22:34 |
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coyo7e posted:She has been walking up and down the hall for an hour or so, looknig busy with a little clipboard though. New employee, boss out of the country, no workstation... Yeah, I'd grab a clipboard and go exploring too.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 22:43 |
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Doc Faustus posted:My boss and I used to have a lovely print server for the departments we support in our office. It's some ancient dell POS, but hey, it worked fine as a print server. Our main motivation for maintaining it was that it gave us a reason to set the AC to 65. One day, word comes down from on high that there's malware on the server. General rule of thumb in our university. . . When it comes to security there are only 2 people I listen to. One is like a ghost, and is the head cisco guy I have only met him due to my arrest when I was an undergrad and he thought my little break through the firewall was smart for how stupidly simple it was. The other is one of the people I worked for while doing comm service in relation to that arrest. The people who actually "work" as "security guys" gently caress em. . . I looked at their reccomendations and they were idiotic, The DC was infected (something simple, something my boss did in another of her absent minded forgetfulness that she is remote desktopped into the DC and making some purchase on some wonk rear end foreign website on it). I use the security guys as a nice filter to know when my grad students are naughty naughty end users.
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 22:54 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 16:58 |
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enotnert posted:The DC was infected (something simple, something my boss did in another of her absent minded forgetfulness that she is remote desktopped into the DC and making some purchase on some wonk rear end foreign website on it). I guess it's true what they say about it being hard to get fired in education, even if you're not directly educating anyone. Surely, surely, infecting your DC while shopping is a fire-able offence at a private company?
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| # ? Mar 22, 2010 23:28 |
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