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Both user and caller for us, if they're not the same person.
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Dec 10, 2008 03:00
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Note: There is a hub about 20 feet away from where this computer will be on the left hand side of the room. Bring a 25' cable and there is a port open on the hub there. so the computer goes where?
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Dec 10, 2008 03:27
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AlexDeGruven posted:Don't forget "compiling" for the developers. Some of our switchgear is right next to the only toilets in the building where most of the developers work, and a lot of them seem to spend a lot of time "compiling". Dear god I don't know what they eat, but I'm glad I don't work there normally.
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Dec 10, 2008 04:02
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At the company I work for, I do phone tech support for our anti-virus product (I wont name it for fear of reprisal from anyone who might use it). And I swear some of our users are insane, literally insane. One man threatened us with "dragons" in an email if we didn't remove our software from his machine, "the kind that lay eggs", I am not sure what other kind of dragon there is. Tomorrow when I get in, ill make sure to post some other excerpts from my current/past tickets.
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Dec 10, 2008 06:54
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Jowogra posted:At the company I work for, I do phone tech support for our anti-virus product (I wont name it for fear of reprisal from anyone who might use it). I think I'm gonna start using this threat in my daily life, it sounds so loving out there.
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Dec 10, 2008 07:04
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Jowogra posted:One man threatened us with "dragons" in an email if we didn't remove our software from his machine, "the kind that lay eggs", I am not sure what other kind of dragon there is. At least he didn't threaten to "put a thousend tigers apund ur head".
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Dec 10, 2008 08:45
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UserNotFound posted:Unix announcement: Purdue University? The operating systems project a few weeks back had a habit of forking uncontrollably under the right circumstances. EDIT: Erik The Red. 
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Dec 10, 2008 08:50
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Jowogra posted:At the company I work for, I do phone tech support for our anti-virus product (I wont name it for fear of reprisal from anyone who might use it). Well obviously its the kind that don't lay eggs, and evidently the kind that don't lay eggs are better than the kind that do. Insane users like that are how I've learned that you can write a three page email on how you've installed Ubuntu.
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Dec 10, 2008 09:18
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AlexDeGruven posted:Don't forget "compiling" for the developers. core dump > flush buffers > overflow  e: sorta beaten
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Dec 10, 2008 09:55
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I shouldn't make fun of our foreign QA guys, but...QA Guy posted:Please do the needful for 30 foot network card With just his name, no phone number, no location or PC name, and he is a temp so he isn't in our directory. I would love to see a 30 foot network card.
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Dec 10, 2008 18:55
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Hoppy posted:do the needful
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Dec 10, 2008 19:09
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ticket 69340 posted:I am trying to do an up date to https://www.(domain name).com I have the correct login but the data access is not what is on the web? Customer just updated his Web site but didn't see the changes, because he uploaded the files to the wrong directory. Took me two phone calls to figure this out.
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Dec 10, 2008 19:11
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Ryouga Inverse posted:I love that it has its own wikipedia entry.
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Dec 10, 2008 19:32
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duz posted:I love that it has its own wikipedia entry.
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Dec 10, 2008 19:46
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monkeybounce posted:As a quick derail: Do you guys ticket by user or ticket by machine? The only problem is that we will step on each other's claimed tickets, luckily it's only two of us that take tickets. It's pretty easy to simply refresh the screen and make sure I actually have the ticket though.
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Dec 10, 2008 19:52
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We've taken to "You're doing the wrong needful!" as a generic "you hosed up" statement.
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Dec 10, 2008 20:07
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Kenlon posted:We've taken to "You're doing the wrong needful!" as a generic "you hosed up" statement. This is great and I'm totally using it.
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Dec 10, 2008 20:30
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I work desktop support for a University, so nearly everyone I deal with either has a PhD, or is working on a PhD. While we don't get too many absolutely terrible ones, there have been a few that stand out. Far and away, my favorite ticket I have ever seen pop up: quote:Request Opened 0.00 hrs. quote:Request Opened 0.00 hrs. quote:Request Opened 0.00 hrs.  quote:Request Opened 0.00 hrs. quote:Request Opened 0.00 hrs. That's all I've got for now, for better or for worse. edit: One time a user started describing their problems with outlook while we were both peeing. 
Doc Faustus fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Dec 10, 2008 |
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Dec 10, 2008 20:35
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Doc Faustus posted:edit: One time a user started describing their problems with outlook while we were both peeing. I don't remember where I posted this before, but on a contract at a financial company someone knocked on the stall door while I was making GBS threads to find out when I can come help them. I seriously considered flipping out on them and quitting for interrupting my peace and quiet while dropping a deuce. At this current one, I've had people wait outside of the restroom looking busy up until I come out to ask me a computer question.
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Dec 10, 2008 22:52
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Spazz posted:I don't remember where I posted this before, but on a contract at a financial company someone knocked on the stall door while I was making GBS threads to find out when I can come help them. I seriously considered flipping out on them and quitting for interrupting my peace and quiet while dropping a deuce. Erghhh. We have one of those bathrooms where people talk to each other. I hate it. Please don't talk to me while I'm peeing. It's the only time I don't have to interact with other people all day. It's bad enough that my girlfriend won't leave me alone while I'm in the bathroom at home. No, I don't know where the remote is! Did you look in the conference room / under the couch / break room / kitchen? I answer the same questions at home and work.
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Dec 10, 2008 23:45
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Doc Faustus posted:There's something about science people that makes them include every detail about the equipment they use, despite none of the IT people knowing what it is, nor caring.
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Dec 11, 2008 00:03
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Got this one the other day.quote:Hi,
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Dec 11, 2008 00:06
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Lil Bukowski posted:No, I don't know where the remote is! Did you look in the conference room / under the couch / break room / kitchen? You have a conference room at home? Is that used for contacting your mother in law or something?
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Dec 11, 2008 01:19
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Spazz posted:At this current one, I've had people wait outside of the restroom looking busy up until I come out to ask me a computer question. I've been there, and I have a System for ending this problem. It's simple. You're the PC doctor, so make your rounds ! Don't sit around waiting for tickets, grab a clipboard and just go walk around looking for trouble... tickets. This helps your relations with the user community immensely. They get to see you when there isn't a problem annoying them. You'll get a lot of "while you're here" and "if you have a minute" type things. This resolves a lot of the small frustrations the users have, which is your job if tickets matter. They stop interrupting you the only time they see you. Rounds are also a great time to catch up on the little tweaks and fixes you've been meaning to do. Everyone wins. Even the boss is happy. Remember that clipboard ? It's essential. Every question you answer and every quick over-the-shoulder fix or even a "look at this please ?" gets written down. Put paper in printers (and note it down). Anything you can fix that's showing a red light you fix. Later you go back to your desk and log everything in the ticketing system. And close it immediately. Not only will your boss start hearing people say nice things about you, but this can really boost your metrics. This is also "being proactive" and your boss (or his at least) loves it. Keep your eyes open for anything you can do to prevent a helpdesk call. And do, do, do put everything into the system. If you're lucky, you can hang out with the cool groups for a couple hours each day and log enough tickets to still look good. Pay special attention to HR (who can tell your boss to shut up), Finance (work to the Three Fs: Fix Finance First), Sales (they're buttholes, but have cool stuff sometimes) and anyone else who actively makes the company money. If the sales manager loves you because you keep dropping by and fixing poo poo they haven't had time to call in about, then you've got important backing inside the company. Keep the HR manager's printer stocked with paper and you'll deal with less petty bullshit. By the way, you can't take notes on your smartphone. There's something about a competent person making notes on a clipboard that sets off an authority figure reflex response in most people (at least in corporate America, probably most of the world (c'mon, you KNOW it works in China)). If you keep up your grooming and maintain a semblance of dignity you get treated like an authority figure. It's a learned behavior picked up in school at an early age, use it. A clipboard is also the essential tool for the corporate explorer. If you work IT in a large building, or better yet a campus of some sort that clipboard and your IT badge are your license to explore. While I wouldn't try this at a secure facility, in any corporate setting the man with the clipboard and an intent look on his face can go anywhere with no questions asked. If you have an IT access badge, it's just gravy. If you get busted but not caught red-handed doing something, just claim inventory and ask where something is. If you get fired, it was a secure facility and I don't wanna hear about it. Ok, I'll read the thread and might even 5 it, but don't bitch to me. Lastly, do your rounds VERY irregularly or you'll get crap from the self-entitled assholes when you don't come by when you're expected. Especially don't show up every single time a particular group has bagels, skip one now and then so you don't come across as a greedy rear end in a top hat (protip: befriend TWO groups with food). Do this. If you work desktop support, loving do this. Less stress, more friends in the office, fewer people leaping in your path with questions the few times you put in an appearance, and quite possibly the best stats and best user reviews in the department. tl;dr Make rounds like a doctor, carry a clipboard. But read it all if you desktop support.
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Dec 11, 2008 05:38
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Oh lord you have no idea how much that post makes me want to murder you. My office is divided with two different groups providing support to the same people. The ONE remaining guy from the old group does exactly this: he wanders the halls, looking for tickets. Except, of course, he never fixes a drat thing. He just puts the tickets into the queue and waits for one of us from the other group to take it. It's especially maddening when I walk past his office to take care of a ticket that is sometimes literally next door to him.
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Dec 11, 2008 05:44
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Cuddly Coach posted:I love the meetings to setup a conference call to setup a meeting at a time when everyone who needs to be involved can be present, except they're the ones that aren't either at the original meeting or the conference call. In my last feature development at my job, there was a fairly large backward compatibility issue. It was understood and addressed as best we could, but some applications using our code would break. During the review sessions (three of them) for the documentation, this was gone over several times. After the third meeting, I sent out an email to the mailing list that had pretty much all the major application teams using our code, explaining the issue and the simple fixes. I get an email two minutes later from someone in project management frothing at the mouth about how we can't do this, this is not how we do things, and why is he only hearing about this now, in a "blanket email to customers". I reply, copying my manager, with "You were invited to all three review sessions, where this issue was discussed, and should have received all of the meeting minutes, which also referenced it." I then got an IM from my manager saying that I should not have spoken so harshly to a PM, but he's the douche who didn't show up for the meetings. The PM then proceeded to schedule four meetings over the next week where we explained to him, and him alone, why there was a BWC issue, what we did to minimize the impact, and how there was no way around it. It was like talking to a brick. An angry brick.
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Dec 11, 2008 10:31
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So a ticket came in: I just removed /usr/local by mistake how do you undelete files in linux? Seriously dont use rm if you do not know how to use it.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:34
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At least they weren't using shred instead of rm "because i remember it better".
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Dec 11, 2008 11:37
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Inverse Icarus posted:The PM then proceeded to schedule four meetings over the next week where we explained to him, and him alone, why there was a BWC issue, what we did to minimize the impact, and how there was no way around it. I'm getting PM training soon. I must become the enemy 
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Dec 11, 2008 13:19
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tripwires posted:So a ticket came in: Why does someone without the knowledge of the proper operation of 'rm' even allowed in with root or sudo access? To contribute: One of my last HelpDesk calls before I moved to my current position involved an individual that couldn't open an attachment. For whatever reason (I don't deal with our mail system, thankfully), our e-mail client does its virus check quietly. The end result is that an infected file will just simply not open.  = Person = Me: I'm trying to open this attachment, but nothing happens when I double-click on it: Hm... Ok. Was the e-mail from inside or outside (the organization)?: Outside. I don't know who this person is. Starts going off in my head immediately: So, you don't know the person that sent you this attachment? Our recommendation for these things is to delete them right away because they could be from a virus (this was before EVERY spam/virus came from a spoofed address).: Well, when I opened it at home (the web client allows you to download it and open it), it popped up a virus warning, but here it just does nothing.: Then it's a virus. Just delete the e-mail and empty your trash folder.: No. I need to open this attachment. I need to know what it is.: It's a virus. I just told you that.: But what if it's something important?: It's not. It's a virus. Just delete it. If you somehow managed to get the file to open, you would infect your machine, and cause problems for the entire network (starting my doom-and-gloom mode to try and get them to shut up and go away).: But I REALLY need to open this.: (Now in full-on helpdesk rage mode) Look. By continually attempting to open this attachment, you are intentionally trying to destroy the organization's property. Just delete the e-mail, empty your trash, and be done with it. I guarantee you 100% that the file is a virus itself, or at least infected with one, and you should not continue to try to open it.: But, but...: No buts. Just delete the e-mail. Period.: I want to talk to your supervisor. I need to know what this message is.: It's a virus. His number is xxx-xxxx. He's out of the office today, but he'll be back promptly at 8am tomorrow.My supervisor at the time was and is now a very good friend, and long-time co-worker. She started calling his office at 7:45 the next morning, and still insisted on being able to open the attachment (I got to hang in the office while he talked to her). The conversation ended with a threat from my supervisor to remove system access (e-mail was not yet considered essential for job function), and referral to HR. I've never been happier than the moment I hung up the phone from my very last call.
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Dec 11, 2008 15:39
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Doc Faustus posted:Oh lord you have no idea how much that post makes me want to murder you. My office is divided with two different groups providing support to the same people. The ONE remaining guy from the old group does exactly this: he wanders the halls, looking for tickets. The System doesn't work if you don't actually fix poo poo. Here's your chance to show him up.
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Dec 11, 2008 16:10
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mllaneza posted:The System doesn't work if you don't actually fix poo poo. Here's your chance to show him up. 'The System' is a really good way to set expectations that aren't in-line with the rest of your department. Trying to kiss as much rear end as possible so you have 'important backing' (hint : HR doesn't actually care how many times you refill their paper) is not the way to advance. Setting reasonable expectations with internal customers and not accepting out of scope requests is.
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Dec 11, 2008 16:25
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SHODAN posted:'The System' is a really good way to set expectations that aren't in-line with the rest of your department. This happens every time someone tries to share ideas that have worked for them previously. Everyone takes exactly what was said 100% at face value and tries to apply it verbatim to their own situation, the gripes about how it doesn't line up. If you don't have a trouble ticket system that measures your success based on number of tickets and how long they were open, well then obviously that part won't work for you. The main point of what he was saying was to be proactive and try to make some friends while preempting some of the shenanigans.
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Dec 11, 2008 17:12
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I work at a hospital like a lot of you guys. And we have this Doctor here who is just REALLY goofy. By goofy I mean like his walk, er...I should say waddle, almost seems to have it's own theme music to it. He's like 6'7 and just a hulking ogrish gigantor. Nonetheless, this Dr. that we shall call Dr. X comes in to the Help Desk carrying something and since I was the new guy at the time, everyone ran off and I was stuck in his plain sight. This is what followed... Me: Hi Dr. X, what can I help you with today? Dr: Well, I have this laptop my dad gave me and I am trying to check out some database files and I can't open them because I have it on this hard drive. My last hard drive broke so I got another one from my dad and plugged it in. Now it doesn't work. Me: Wait wait...Just show me what you have and we can go from there... ***Dr. hands me a REALLY OLD IBM laptop along with a USB External Floppy drive and a few floppy disks*** Me: This is a floppy drive and those are floppy disks. Dr: Whatever. It doesn't work and I need to access the database. Me: Show me what you normally do to get to these database files. ***Dr. stares at his laptop for a moment and then just looks at me*** Dr: I don't know where to plug the hard drive in to... Me: ... ***I take a look at the laptop and it has no "visible" USB ports on it. It looks like a laptop that just came out when USB 1.0 was just becoming mainstream.*** Me: How did you check it before? Dr: Well my old one just plugged in. ***At this point I realized there is NO point in me asking what or how he did anything on this junk. I took a look at the laptop like flipping it over all over the place and finally I find a little plastic cover that can be popped off with a flathead screwdriver and it was hiding a single USB 1.0 port behind it (along with some dried glue...)*** Dr: Did you just break something? Me: No, I needed to get that little cover off and it looks like it was glued shut. Dr: Oh, that fell off a while ago and I put it back on... Me: Yeah...you need this to plug that "hard drive" (I just gave up on teaching him) into the computer. Dr: Oh okay. ***We get the laptop hooked up and turned on and everything and then he opens the "database" which is just some poo poo written in Access*** Dr: See it's not working!!! Me: What is it supposed to do? (I don't know poo poo about Access) Dr: When I click this arrow it's supposed to....(I forgot what he says here because I could give two shits) Me: Well this would have to be taken up with the person who created this database file for you. (We have separate people who do that.) Dr: This database file is what was used before I got here. Me: Well let me give you the number for *DATABASE CREATOR NAME GOES HERE* and they should be able to assist you. ***Dr looks at me and then proceeds to keep talking about the stupid database file and insisting I look at it and fix it*** Me: I'm sorry, I don't have the knowledge or the authority to fix that for you. Dr: ....Well can you install this webcam software for me then? It says I can't do it because I don't have access. Me: Sorry sir, I can't do that either as I am not allowed to install software that hasn't been verified by Security. Dr: ...Thanks for your help. ***At this point the Dr leaves and I have a huge sigh of relief...so I thought*** To sum up the end result, he calls the Help Desk on like 20 different occasions trying to get someone to install his webcam software and finally someone recommended he request local admin rights on his PC (NOOOOOOOO~!). Of course since he's a Dr he got it. Now his computer (the one the hospital gives Doctors) is thrashed with "illegal" software and he complains about it constantly. As a result, his PC is extremely slow and everyone at the Help Desk could care less as he doesn't let us do jack poo poo on it.
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Dec 11, 2008 17:28
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Mandals posted:Got this one last week: The first time I saw that virus / piece of malware I seriously thought it was a joke.  Bugs eating the screen was just too awesome. Swap_File fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Dec 11, 2008 |
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Dec 11, 2008 18:11
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mllaneza posted:The System doesn't work if you don't actually fix poo poo. Here's your chance to show him up. The problem I have with "The System" is that while one is walking around with a clipboard, tickets properly submitted to the queue are not being worked on. Meanwhile, when people see you actively working for things to do, they will *find* things for you to do. In my experience trolling for tickets results in lots of tickets about computer fans that people just SWEAR are louder than they used to be, or people who want to know ("Since you're here anyway...") if you could make their 10 year old machine go faster. If people have problems, there's a link to the helpdesk on their desktop. fake edit: I guess the system is less terrible if you have an empty queue, though. My queue currently has 22 tickets. real edit: quote:hard drive system is not uploading CD Yeah, today's gonna be a good day. Doc Faustus fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Dec 11, 2008 |
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Dec 11, 2008 18:13
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Swap_File posted:The first time I saw that virus / piece of malware I seriously thought it was a joke. Doc Faustus posted:The problem I have with "The System" is that while one is walking around with a clipboard, tickets properly submitted to the queue are not being worked on. Meanwhile, when people see you actively working for things to do, they will *find* things for you to do. In my experience trolling for tickets results in lots of tickets about computer fans that people just SWEAR are louder than they used to be, or people who want to know ("Since you're here anyway...") if you could make their 10 year old machine go faster. Cizzo fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Dec 11, 2008 |
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Dec 11, 2008 18:14
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Here's one for today.quote:I can't read anything on my screen or see any icons this screen is too small We use 17 inch LCDs, being replaced with 19" ones at the moment with our PC replacements. I call up the user and try to figure out what the problem is. Resolution: Resolution. This user wasn't happy until I put their lovely 19" monitor on 800x600. I'm just glad I was viewing this through VNC and didn't have to see this monitor displaying something way below its native resolution.
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Dec 11, 2008 19:11
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Hoppy posted:Here's one for today. You could adjust DPI, that way text and icons are bigger, and the screen is still at native resolution.
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Dec 11, 2008 20:09
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evobatman posted:You could adjust DPI, that way text and icons are bigger, and the screen is still at native resolution. Or just set the colour scheme to Windows Default - Extra Large or whatever.
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Dec 11, 2008 20:12
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