A ticket came in...

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devmd01: Mar 7, 2006; Elektronik
Supersonik

Dravs posted:

The technician here rewrote ours last year.

Track-IT eh?

# ? Oct 27, 2011 13:36

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:22

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Volmarias posted:

So their official answer is a proverbial "Powercycle the machine". That's awesome. Thanks, Microsoft.

Well, that's alright then. You're also making double-triple what someone in the US would make for this, very likely.

Double what someone in the US would make period. Thats like double our median worker income.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 15:18

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Telex posted:

Perhaps it isn't the remote site that's down. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

It was the service provider and their upstream both having issues in a perfect storm of crap. It's funny to get responses like this:

quote:

We are currently experience an outage. We are still assassin the cause and remedy. We will update you again by 10 pm.

Because of auto correct on a cellular device. At least they sent us the update!

# ? Oct 27, 2011 15:23

fluppet: Feb 10, 2009

Just had a 50 year old Phd student on the phone who didnt know what a hyphen was :ughh:

# ? Oct 27, 2011 15:32

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Volmarias posted:

Well, that's alright then. You're also making double-triple what someone in the US would make for this, very likely.

Blech, is this what it is? Is this why we get paid so crappy over here? I thought it was just "IT was underpaid", but never thought it was a "because it is the US" (with rare exceptions).

# ? Oct 27, 2011 16:48

rolleyes: Nov 16, 2006; Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?

All you guys getting excited over his high wages need to remember that they come with equally high taxes. As in, significantly higher. I imagine he probably does come out ahead when compared to US pay, but not by as much as you think he does.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 17:11

FISHMANPET: Mar 3, 2007; Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams

rolleyes posted:

All you guys getting excited over his high wages need to remember that they come with equally high taxes. As in, significantly higher. I imagine he probably does come out ahead when compared to US pay, but not by as much as you think he does.

Equal or slightly higher pay plus much greater social services? I'm on board.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 17:13

Stonefish: Nov 1, 2004; Chillin' like a villain

Balzac Jones posted:

In a world where we deal with equipment and data worth thousands, if not tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, I say having furniture that isn't cheap-rear end chipboard nonsense is reasonable.

We have some Anthro stuff that's 20+ years old. Our CIO hates it actually, because it's in such good shape that he can't justify the expense of buying new furniture to replace it, even though he dislikes the utilitarian look and would much rather we all had more conventional desks (read: more of that stupid poo poo with solid backs and no cable pass-throughs)

I have a chipboard desk with a few steel beams that was bought at a Government auction in about 1989, and used for god knows how many years before that.

It is solid as a motherfucking rock, large, flat and comfortable.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 17:38

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

taremva posted:

Is there anyone here who actually like their managers except me? I'm a contractor but I have a fairly good relationship with all my managers, both the ones at my customer and the internal one from the company that pays me.

Yesterday and today, all my boss has asked me to do is "Can you spec out an iPad for each of us and all the accessories we need?" and "Can you type up all that stuff we were talking about yesterday to convince Purchasing that we're actually planning to use these for work and aren't just buying them for personal use?"

We're a two-man department with one part time person. My boss is the easiest guy in the world to work for and we get along really well.

rolleyes posted:

All you guys getting excited over his high wages need to remember that they come with equally high taxes. As in, significantly higher. I imagine he probably does come out ahead when compared to US pay, but not by as much as you think he does.

Yeah, but those taxes are paid to a country whose name is a single-word response to right-wing talking points on social services.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 17:59

couldcareless: Feb 8, 2009; Spheal used Swagger!

Ahhh, the blissful feeling of digging through queries and cross checking audit field histories to dig up the information I need with screenshots to send back to the user to say "No, there's nothing wrong on our end, you hosed up and here's undeniable proof."

I can't think of a more rewarding feeling.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 18:17

taremva: Mar 5, 2009

rolleyes posted:

Not going to turn this into D&D, but here you go:

Total taxes paid by me: 29.2%
Total taxes paid including additional costs for my employer:38.7%
Union fees: $23/month

My union assisted me in the salary negotiations when I got the new tasks, ended up with about 25% increased salary. The main point was that I should have the same salary as the others doing this job, and my employer have a very hard time disagreeing with that.

Edit: Last month I took home $3550. After taxes.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 18:56

este: Feb 17, 2004; Boing!; Dinosaur Gum

Hardly a rare occurance, but tickets like these always make me smile:

quote:

Subject: <No Subject>

I want unscribe my request

What's funnier (sad?) is that I know exactly what this person wants, because I've received so many tickets like this over the years that I've learned to translate nonsense into English.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 18:59

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

"Hey Bob, can you quote getting web site xyz to work with French and Canadian English by Monday?"

(just the quote, not the work)

My response is the applications were never created (health/wellness-related interactive website) with multiple languages/localization in mind.

Response: "Oh, the client said they can take care of the translations."

It's still going to cost tens of thousands of dollars and take months to do everything else. Translating thousands of recipes, 'health tips', etc is the easy part.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 19:15

deedee megadoodoo: Sep 28, 2000; Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.

A ticket came in... it is my last ticket, for today is my last day at this job. The ticket? To deploy some code to some environment. When I got here 8 months ago this would have meant 3 hours of keyboard-jockeying to get things working, but over the course of the last 8 months I accomplished what every linux admin has always dreamed of doing... I have replaced myself with a shell script. Slowly I automated pieces of my day-to-day work until I had scripts for every little thing. The crowning glory was started when I put in my two weeks notice. I wrote a fairly large master script which handles all of my daily activities. Anyone can now do my job as long as they have sudo access on the master server I built. I feel kinda sad that I am leaving now. It's like I'm sending a child off into the world to strike out on their own.

Now to go home to that bottle of Lagavulin and celebrate my triumphs.

...knowing full well that if something does eventually break I will have billable hours.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 19:48

Maggot Monster: Nov 27, 2003

HatfulOfHollow posted:

A ticket came in... it is my last ticket, for today is my last day at this job. The ticket? To deploy some code to some environment. When I got here 8 months ago this would have meant 3 hours of keyboard-jockeying to get things working, but over the course of the last 8 months I accomplished what every linux admin has always dreamed of doing... I have replaced myself with a shell script. Slowly I automated pieces of my day-to-day work until I had scripts for every little thing. The crowning glory was started when I put in my two weeks notice. I wrote a fairly large master script which handles all of my daily activities. Anyone can now do my job as long as they have sudo access on the master server I built. I feel kinda sad that I am leaving now. It's like I'm sending a child off into the world to strike out on their own.

Now to go home to that bottle of Lagavulin and celebrate my triumphs.

...knowing full well that if something does eventually break I will have billable hours.

Within two weeks your replacement will have broken the script completely to the point it no longer works and will be back to doing everything manually. It's ultra depressing.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 20:37

longview: Dec 25, 2006; heh.

rolleyes posted:

All you guys getting excited over his high wages need to remember that they come with equally high taxes. As in, significantly higher. I imagine he probably does come out ahead when compared to US pay, but not by as much as you think he does.

At least in Norway you also have to figure a 25% sales tax on pretty much everything except food (only 14%!). But for reference I'm a student and work part time in a hardware store, my base salary is about $24.5/hr + add ons for uncomfortable working hours.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 20:53

taremva: Mar 5, 2009

Sweden has 25% VAT on pretty much everything not being food or classified as "culture".
It might end up being the same amount of cash, but I have universal healthcare, I get paid if I study etc. I also cant get fired because my boss doesn't like my hair.
I'm perfectly happy here. More then once I've asked myself why you Americans put up with your jobs.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 21:02

rscott: Dec 10, 2009

taremva posted:

Sweden has 25% VAT on pretty much everything not being food or classified as "culture".
It might end up being the same amount of cash, but I have universal healthcare, I get paid if I study etc. I also cant get fired because my boss doesn't like my hair.
I'm perfectly happy here. More then once I've asked myself why you Americans put up with your jobs.

Because if we don't we will literally go homeless and die.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 21:14

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

I got a voicemail ending with "Can you call me back regarding Sunday's event at extension 1840?"

Our extensions are only 84xx, 85xx, 94xx, and 95xx. I know her name because she definitely works here, but she isn't listed in the employee directory :confused:

longview posted:

At least in Norway you also have to figure a 25% sales tax on pretty much everything except food (only 14%!). But for reference I'm a student and work part time in a hardware store, my base salary is about $24.5/hr + add ons for uncomfortable working hours.

The highest minimum wage in the US is $8.67 an hour, and only managers at a retail store would ever make more than $10 an hour.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 21:18

Impotence: Nov 8, 2010; Lipstick Apathy

taremva posted:

Sweden has 25% VAT on pretty much everything not being food or classified as "culture".
It might end up being the same amount of cash, but I have universal healthcare, I get paid if I study etc. I also cant get fired because my boss doesn't like my hair.
I'm perfectly happy here. More then once I've asked myself why you Americans put up with your jobs.

No one actually has a choice if they want to live

# ? Oct 27, 2011 21:20

Billy the Mountain: Feb 3, 2005; I used to be TheRealLuquado

gently caress you.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Oct 27, 2011 21:56

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Billy the Mountain posted:

gently caress you.

What the gently caress moon language is that

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:12

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

Billy the Mountain posted:

gently caress you.

I've been noticing reCaptcha has been giving me formulas and foreign text lots recently. I think someone broke it.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:16

unpronounceable: Apr 4, 2010; You mean we still have another game to go through?!; Fallen Rib

go3 posted:

What the gently caress moon language is that

If I had to guess, I'd say Hebrew.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:16

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

A ticket came in:

(questions are part of the form)

quote:

Give the location where you are facing the problem?? The message appears when the personal setting and the rest of the process is running
What is the problem?? Appearing the message attached and I dont know if this is related with that the Helium has desappeared from the Excel program.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:27

Ridge_Runner_5: May 26, 2011; by Y Kant Ozma Post

go3 posted:

What the gently caress moon language is that

Looks to me like Hebrew.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:28

Ridge_Runner_5: May 26, 2011; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Migishu posted:

A ticket came in:

(questions are part of the form)

You're screwed man, I heard that Earth is running out of Helium.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:31

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Clearly, Hebrew.

Please install Davka Writer, this is affecting productivity. Please do the needful. Thanks.

Sincerely,
:v:

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:34

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

Ridge_Runner_5 posted:

Looks to me like Hebrew.

The jews are from the moon?

And another lovely ticket from one of my users:

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:38

Doc Faustus: Sep 6, 2005; Philippe is such an angry eater

TenjouUtena posted:

I've been noticing reCaptcha has been giving me formulas and foreign text lots recently. I think someone broke it.

It's not broken. ReCaptcha is used to identify text for Google Books. It always gives you two words: one it already knows, and one it doesn't. You only need to get the "known" word correct. I mean, I assume it wants addresses for the first word, and you could enter anything you like for the second.

If you get it wrong the first time, it then gives you two known words.

:science:

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:47

couldcareless: Feb 8, 2009; Spheal used Swagger!

So this one woman in customer service has a simple job of saving these text file attachments that contain customer address changes. She might get like 5-10 of these a day, all she has to do is save them in a specific folder, the same folder, every day. It's not difficult, is what I'm getting at.

Well, after having random days of it not working, I inform her equally dumb supervisor I haven't been getting the files every day. So I make it easy and put a shortcut to the particular network folder in her user drive and inform her of such.

Well, she calls me and tells me none of the files are making it to the folder, so I proxy her machine to watch how she is doing it. She browses to the folder where the files are saved, then goes to her outlook, opens the email, opens the txt attachment, goes to File > Save As, and just saves without looking at where it's saving to. Of course it's defaulting to her My Documents, which a quick glance tells me there's about 50 of these txt files just sitting in her folder. I politely tell her she's saving them to the wrong folder. Her response is to act super offended because she opened the folder in another window and it should be saving to there (it's clearly not, there's no files in it right now) and she's been doing it like this FOREVER!

It took so much power to tell her she's a loving moron. I hate customer service department so much.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:56

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

Moey posted:

The jews are from the moon?

And another lovely ticket from one of my users:

He has to fight a jaguar every time he wants to send an email.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 22:58

nitrogen: May 21, 2004; Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?

I loving hate it when people use "kind regards" to close an email.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:09

Ursine Catastrophe: Nov 9, 2009; It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.

don't ask how i know; Dinosaur Gum

Maggot Monster posted:

Within two weeks your replacement will have broken the script completely to the point it no longer works and will be back to doing everything manually. It's ultra depressing.

Quick, you have a day to perl-golf it.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:09

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

"PLEASE HELP"

I can't stand that. It's not polite, it's stupid. Your printer is on fire an no one in accounting can send email? Yes, I will help without you tacking that little comment at the end of your request.

VVVVVVVV
If there's no free breakfast in the real world I'm not coming back.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:10

rolleyes: Nov 16, 2006; Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?

Dick Trauma posted:

PLEASE HELP

Welcome... to the real world.

Edit:
Hah, caught you pre-edit. Now we know you're aware of your reality and these are just cover stories.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:11

Eletriarnation: Apr 6, 2005; People don't appreciate the substance of things...
objects in space.; Oven Wrangler

Dick Trauma posted:

PLEASE HELP

Uh oh... he must have run afoul of an agent.

^ gently caress, beaten!

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:12

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

Dick Trauma posted:

"PLEASE HELP"

I can't stand that. It's not polite, it's stupid. Your printer is on fire an no one in accounting can send email? Yes, I will help without you tacking that little comment at the end of your request.

VVVVVVVV
If there's no free breakfast in the real world I'm not coming back.

"Please Advise"

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:15

Ygolonac

Nov 26, 2007

pre:

*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

Moey posted:

The jews are from the moon?

Well, space anyways.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:25

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:22

couldcareless: Feb 8, 2009; Spheal used Swagger!

TenjouUtena posted:

"Please Advise"

I HATE that. I also have people that tend to call and start the phone conversation with:
"Helpdesk, HEEEEEELLLP!!"
or send an email with NOTHING IN THE BODY BUT THE SUBJECT IN ALL CAPS AND THE SUBJECT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING JUST LIKE THIS JUST LETTING YOU KNOW -ccc

Edit: Or this one that happened today that slipped my mind. A user called, didn't have time to answer, so I sent him straight to voicemail. He put my voicemail on hold and walked over to my desk to complain about a problem I already knew about and was working on. So he not only pissed me off, he tied up my phone line. Awesome.

# ? Oct 27, 2011 23:30

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