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BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
I had a guy yesterday call up because he couldn't get a document uploaded into an app we use to track business expense reports. The app itself only allows PDF files to be uploaded and he couldn't find the file he'd just scanned in.

Turned out, he scanned it as a TIF image and didn't convert it to PDF, so the app couldn't find it. I got to hear about how he'd "been screwing with this file for almost an hour" and "this poo poo never works right, I always gotta do an extra step blah blah blah...:argh:"

It literally took me less than 30 seconds to find his TIF and convert to PDF, then help him upload it. Best part? The scanners we used are hooked up to little kiosk PCs, and before scanning, a prompt comes up asking specifically what file format to use - and he didn't select PDF, he left it at the default which is black/white TIF image. I pointed out that he could select the option and he started to rant about how this must be some "new feature" because he never had to use it before. Fucker didn't even bother to thank me, just said "this is stupid, what bullshit", went silent for a second, said "alright bye" and hung up.

Not my fault you didn't pay attention dude...surprised you still have a job if you're making simple mistakes like that and blowing up about it before bothering to ask for help. Retarded douchebag. :mad:

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BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

woah waitaminit... you actually expect to be thanked for helping people?

You haven't been doing to much of that methinks.

Not so much that I expected it, it's actually been pretty common for people to give a quick "thanks!" when I finish up with them. I thought it was funny that the guy got bent out of shape over something he caused himself, that wasn't even a huge, urgent issue, and tried to backtrack to blame our scanner/software for the problem. His reaction was priceless when he asked "do I have to do this conversion EVERY time I scan something??" when I did the manual convert, and I said "nope, just make sure you select PDF when you scan next time and you'll be set". I've dealt with WAY worse, I've been doing support jobs like this (whether in IT or general call center tech support) for a few years now, so I never get my expectations up - although I do my best to be pleasant with people, on the off-chance that someone decides to complain and/or tries to blame me when they screw something up.

couldcareless posted:

Much different experience. Apparently I'm adored in the office because a single 23-24 year old male with a solid job is like the best definition of cougar bait.

You ain't kidding, I'm single and 30 and take pretty good care of myself, and it's like an open invitation for older women to openly flirt and make suggestions about "getting together outside work". I still flirt and chat with women my age (lots of them between 28-35 where I work) but seem to get approached more often by women in their 40s and 50s. Granted a few of the older women still look really good for their age, and I *have* taken a couple up on their offers, so it's not so bad - I'll gladly take the title of "Cougar Bait" or "Boy Toy" for some of them :pervert:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

H2SO4 posted:

Another human Duracell . . . it's spreading! :ohdear:

More an Energizer...keep going and going and going :huh:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
I remember at my last job, our L3 team had been working to get all our in-house apps to work with a single version of Java. Most of the older apps had to have 2 or 3 versions of Java loaded in order to run properly (ridiculous) so they wanted to get the developers of said apps together to get everything cleaned up.

We get an e-mail stating that, after a few months of work, everything should work with a single, more recent version of Java. "Great!" we think, saves everyone a bunch of time having to remove and reinstall 2 or 3 versions of Java if something is corrupted with Java itself.

..that is, until we run into a good half dozen apps that DON'T work with the updated version of Java and keep spitting out errors asking for an older version. Our L2 support team goes back and forth with L3, getting the same stupid, contrived response as always - "it should work, try reinstalling". That's exactly what we've been doing you loving clowns, reinstalling and rebooting does nothing, and installing the older Java makes the problem apps work just dandy.

As far as I know, it never got fixed - I left that job for greener pastures over a month ago, and we STILL had people who'd get their computer reimaged, or get a new issue computer, and we had to keep installing the old version of Java because they used one or more of the apps that didn't work right with the newer one. It never got corrected on our images, L3 kept fighting us even when we sent them errors, and we finally got so sick of their bullshit that we just didn't bother bringing it up any more and started installing the old Java again.

Glad I don't have to work with lazy pieces of poo poo like that any more, half of them were more versed in drinking and smoking pot (some while on the job) than doing their own job, and just about anything that went wrong was pushed back on us or the users having the problem. Funny enough, I now get paid more money working with a company that has people who actually do their jobs right, are willing to help, and have better organization and clearer boundaries among teams.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Bonzo posted:

In my experience, I've found that users that do this do so because they took so long to send in a ticket.

gently caress I hate this - old job, had a lady come up and ask for a loaner laptop because she was leaving that night to travel to another office. She put the request in about 2 weeks prior, myself and my manager checked our ticket queues, found zero tickets requesting a loaner for travel.

Turned out her manager got the ticket and forgot to approve it so it could be sent our way to set up. Of course, before said manager checked her drat e-mail, she blamed us, blamed the admins for the ticket application, and bitched up a storm, DEMANDING that we get a loaner set up. At least my manager and the manager he reported to both told the lady that if she ever pulled that again, they'd take it up with HER director and make sure our team didn't have to deal with it again.

Every day I wake up and realize I don't ever have to go back there, I get a big grin on my face and breathe a sigh of relief. If it's not a dumbass user forgetting to put a ticket in and blaming IT for failing to help, it's a dipshit manager that doesn't pay attention to detail and tries to blame IT instead.

H2SO4 posted:

PLUG THE ETHERNET CABLE IN!

Edit: Seriously. I'm done supporting other "technicians." If your first assumption when you encounter an error is "Welp, must be down for everyone!" then you do not belong within 500 yards of a business card with the word "IT" on it.

Unless that business card says "poo poo FOR BRAINS"

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Null Set posted:

This too. Don't do poo poo for free outside of family, you will never have another moment of peace. And it will always be your fault.

My usual rule is first time's a freebie, any time after that I charge by the hour. Works in my favor, I actually had a guy bring his personal laptop in because it had viruses on it (a big no-no at my job for security reasons), I stashed it and took it home later to clean it up, brought it back with MSE loaded on it and working great. Dude dropped a $50 bill on my desk without me even asking for payment, I even told him beforehand I'd check it out and not to worry about paying me. One of the coolest, most chill guys I ever worked with. :)

All depends on who you're dealing with - even more fun if it's an attractive single woman, you fix her problem, she insists on paying and it leads to a nerd's wet dream of "sexual favors for support" :quagmire:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

lilcasino posted:

I always say no, but when I heard they took it to best buy and paid 200$ I'm starting to think differently.

I'm glad I do all my own support, mainly because I don't feel the need to charge out the rear end like some so-called "professional" places do, since I don't have the same kind of upkeep and such to maintain. I make a profit regardless, and usually end up making some cool friends and expanding my social circle, on top of people putting in a good word for me as the "go-to guy" for computer stuff.

I'll only say no if, as an example, someone tells me they'll give me a whole $40 to clean their infected PC, back up their data, and wipe it. Some people don't understand that reinstalling Windows and doing a backup/restore takes a few HOURS to do, and when someone offers me a low amount like that I usually chuckle and tell them to double it, or take it to a local place where they'll easily charge 5-6 times the amount they're offering me initially. They reject it, I don't have to deal with them - they accept, it's mo' money in my pocket. Win-win, just gotta know how to work people and not back down. :)

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

couldcareless posted:

She's the VP. Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Any time crap like that happened at any of my IT or help desk related jobs, our bosses gave us the go-ahead to back up, wipe, and reimage the machine. Usually after the second or third time they have problems, we've got plenty of info on it, and third strike equals "no admin rights for this user, period".

We'd do that stuff for viruses/malware/spyware and apps that weren't approved by the company - last time I had to deal with a "slow computer" issue it was a numbnuts tool that bitched because he couldn't stream his music over Pandora at the same time he was watching YouTube videos and trying to run his regular business apps. Talked to his boss about the situation, reimaged the box and blocked access to Pandora and YouTube (only video/audio streaming that was allowed was related to the company website). I think he ended up getting fired later because so many people bitched about him not doing his job, and his boss caught him watching DVDs when he should've been doing some work on databases.

E: Had a call today, wasn't necessarily bad and the guy was pretty good humored about it:

:) = me
:v: = guy

:) IT Support, Ozz speaking
:v: Yeah, I'm having trouble with VPN. Any time I try to get on it hangs at a screen that just says "connecting" and doesn't go anywhere.
:) Alright, are you connecting using a company computer?
:v: Nope, I'm on my own PC at home, connected through hard wire to my router.
:) OK - do you get any other errors or messages when VPN tries to connect?
:v: No, I can connect fine to the Internet and pull up various sites, just the VPN won't work and I can't get to my work PC.

*run through a quick reboot of his home PC, check for any hung processes related to VPN, browser settings, firewall, etc.*

:) I don't see any issues with your configuration. Let me check something else...

*search for his PC in our remote app, find out it's OFFLINE*

:) I think I found your problem...your PC in the office appears to be turned off or not connected to the network. Ping gives me a "host not found" message.
:v: Oh geez, that makes sense...I might have shut it down by mistake instead of rebooting!
:) Just to be safe, while you're on VPN now, try to bring up the company internal homepage.
:v: Yep, homepage comes up. Man, I'm sorry, I completely goofed up shutting my computer down, sorry for the hassle!
:) No trouble at all, glad we got it figured out!
---------

Made me chuckle at the simplicity of it, I think we were talking for all of 10 minutes. One of the few kinds of calls I can tolerate, especially when people are polite, work with you and follow instruction, and are willing to admit a simple goof-up on their part.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Asmodai_00 posted:

The problem? They left off half the necessary programs, and the other half are out of date. It's going to take me more work to install and fix everything he missed than it would have taken me to remove the virus myself.

Thanks team! :suicide:

I hear you there, only in a different way - last job, had a supervisor request a loaner laptop to take to the company's Arizona facility. One of the older contracted techs grabbed a loaner, put it on the network, and sent the guy on his way...

...only problem was, the laptop in question hadn't been reimaged in nearly a YEAR. We'd moved to using IE 7, Office 2007, and had a lot of updated apps, and the loaner still had IE 6, Office 2003 and several apps that the company had either upgraded, or went away from using entirely. Thankfully I'd gone through a half dozen of them and gave them all fresh images less than a week prior, and was able to get the guy swapped. I loved seeing our tech's face when it was brought up in the weekly meeting and he was asked why he didn't reimage, let alone check the machine to see if it was even up to date.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

este posted:

He didn't say *he* brought it up, just that it was brought up. And rightfully so, that's just lazy.

Yep, I let my manager know, and he sent out a mass e-mail to the team to make sure to check everything before deploying a loaner, on top of asking the other nimrod why he didn't bother to make sure it was updated and working. Wasn't trying to be a dick, and this certainly wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

Farking Bastage posted:

Doing a favor for the Big Big Big boss. He brought his college student son's laptop for a cleaning. We ordered it for him at Christmas.

He drops it off at my office and i plug it up and power on. Soon as it comes out of suspend..

Fullscreen HD porn.

Haha, last weekend my dad was talking about how his office got new iPads, and his team was responsible for making sure they could be integrated into the company network and worked properly. He goes to help a guy in a different department with his new iPad, setting up mail and getting the Mac version of Office up and running.

Did I mention the guy my dad was helping had no clue how to use an iPad? Yeah, turned out he'd had a bunch of porn open...a lot of gay BDSM type porn. Dude didn't know how to close browser windows, so everything was either minimized, or sitting open behind other windows. My dad brought the issue up with his boss and flat out refused to do any more support on the guy's iPad because the fact that it was porn, in an office environment, and it made him extremely uncomfortable and could've easily caused a LOT of trouble.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

coyo7e posted:

If it was a blanket email that's one thing. If it was both an email and then a calling-out during a group meeting, that's still a pretty lovely thing for a supervisor to do to someone.

I agree wholeheartedly - all I did was e-mail the manager, not even in a mean-spirited or dickish way, to say that the loaner hadn't been reimaged per instructions that we all had. Manager sent out the blanket e-mail asking everyone to be doubly sure that everything is updated and working before deploying a loaner laptop. THEN he brought it up in the meeting the following Monday, and pretty much called out the guy who messed up.

Granted, the call-out didn't need to happen, he could've easily just pulled the guy aside and said "watch what you're doing" or whatever. Either my boss was having a really lovely day and decided to take it out on this one guy, or the guy who made the mistake had a history of messing up. Either way, while we may not agree on whether it was the best course of action, it got everyone's attention and people were more thorough afterward. It's definitely not the worst thing I've witnessed, but not really the best way of handling it, either.

Moey posted:

Am I in the matrix?

An email came in, one of the departments is having a cinco de mayo potluck and invited me to come eat. Tacos, taco dip, desserts, chips, salsa, and something wonderful that I ate way too much of called "Fiesta Dip".

I'm sure I will be back in reality as soon as the next helpdesk comes in.

Remember to try to be friendly and occasionally rub shoulders with other departments, it'll work in your favor. About every help desk or IT job I've had, I'm always pleasant, joke with people, and they know I'm approachable and can/will get things done. I can't tell you how many times I had people drop off food at my desk or invite me to pot lucks and stuff just for being one of the :c00l: IT guys. That, and the aforementioned "cougars going after young flesh" who offer to spring for lunch or ask for home PC help and return the favor with some NSA after-hours fun time ;)

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Lum posted:

Pretty much..

http://bash.org/?search=127.0.0.1&sort=0&show=100

<ruffkin2> HAHAHAH dat dude you sent me 127.0.0.1 iz enfected wit sub7 im fuckin with him now
<andrw> oh good, format his computer
<Testicular_One> format his computer
<TheGreaterZero> format him

<Myren> someone ping flood this bastard please: 127.0.0.1
<darthv> ok
*** darthv has quit IRC (Ping timeout)


and many more.

Reminds me of all the malware/spyware/virus tickets I used to get with previous jobs where it would enable the proxy settings in the browser, redirect to 127.0.0.1 and point to a small file on the person's drive that looked like a genuine webpage. Sucked that removing the threat usually didn't undo the proxy, so sometimes I'd have other techs telling me that the "threat is gone but they still can't browse! Gotta reimage!"

I remember a guy being blown away that the proxy setting was the cause, and how simple it was to fix, thus saving him a couple hours of imaging and updating. Best part? He'd been in the field and supposedly had at least 5 years experience on me...

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

evobatman posted:

Today a user handed in a defective laptop battery.

I gave her a new one without troubleshooting and told her in a nice way to GTFO. I put the battery in a laptop, noticed the 0% charge, let it charge, and ran some HD video to test it.

I expect to see her back in a couple of hours when the one I gave her becomes defective too.

Bad power brick? Brick not connected or plugged in? I've had this happen a couple times, either when someone has their dock plugged in, or using an AC adapter directly to the laptop, and they kick the power brick. Sucks because most power bricks have the AC cord that disconnects from the brick, and if it's not fully unplugged, it still appears to have a connection.

Still, she should be getting a "low battery/plug into AC power" prompt before the battery dies...

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Noise Complaint posted:

Ticket Priority: High

Description: cigarette bucket is full and overflowing


what :gonk:

Someone remind me not to check my work e-mail when I'm off shift. I started working IT less than a month ago. Is this kind of stuff normal?

All depends - one of my previous jobs had a designated Facilities team that specifically did clean-up for spills, refilled water coolers, contacted vending machine companies, etc. but the help desk always ended up with tickets. One I remember fondly was "the ice machine is making a sound like a squealing pig so we turned it off - please check ASAP". Honest mistake sometimes, I would usually respond to them to let Facilities know and close the ticket out.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Noise Complaint posted:

One of the type of people that police to make sure that smokers like me are exactly 25 feet away from an entrance. I did it because last job I had where people neglected the smoking area, they banned smoking on the premises entirely. I'd really prefer that not happen.

I'm not a smoker but I do feel your pain - all it takes is a few lazy jerks to mess up something for everyone. Most places I've worked are completely smoke-free because people couldn't bother to use ashtrays or cans and left their used cigarette butts/packages all over the ground. One place I was at even went as far as telling people they couldn't smoke in their cars on company property, people either had to walk across the street to a different area or put up with smoking during a lunch when they could drive off property.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Migishu posted:

To be fair, it's not so much him as much as it is windows selecting extra characters when highlighting things.

I've had the copy/paste thing happen SO many times, I hate that Windows will often times copy spaces along with the regular characters, which turns things into a royal pain in the rear end.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Guy Axlerod posted:

I was on the KB team at my old job and now I'm a full-time technical writer. Our KB kicked rear end. :smugbert: Ok, maybe it didn't kick rear end, but it was pretty darn good.

My current job and last job both have KBs set up by the techs themselves that do the support - which has worked out great, with my last employer having a minor exception. Mostly the L2 and L3 support groups did the creation/editing, but the L1 techs somehow got permission to create and edit articles, and ended up screwing a bunch up and creating duplicates with the wrong info. The L2 and L3 teams had to basically fight tooth and nail to get the L1 guys denied access to creating/editing because a bunch of articles that L2 created were being edited by L1 to basically say "escalate to L2" instead of the original steps in the article showing how to fix a problem. Not to mention, there was more than one L2 group outside of IT and help desk, and it wasn't specified *which* L2 group needed to be notified.

In theory the system worked great, as long as people were trained how to use it properly and instructed on what should and shouldn't be changed. In our case, givign L1 the ability to create and edit KB articles was like giving a 4 year old a shotgun.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

coyo7e posted:

The thing that always cracks me up is that the majority of people who ask for IT-related tech support are totally satisfied with "magic" being the straight-faced reply of "what was wrong? what did you do? how did you fix it?"

Can you imagine a car mechanic or a plumber saying that? :iiam:

Magic, or making something up on the fly are my usual options. "I replaced the whatchamacallit that caused the doohickey to spin off and hit the thingamajig, it's all good now"

madmaan posted:

Notice is such a bullshit thing. Your employer will most likely give you zero notice before they fire you, why give them better consideration?

I know the reason most people justify it, but its still bullshit.

I definitely hear this - if I don't plan on ever going back to a certain employer (and/or I hate the job for whatever reason), I *might* give notice, but I've had jobs where myself and others were getting shafted and I ended up quitting as soon as I got a job offer. So far it's only happened twice - once was my previous employer, and before that, was 11 years ago working for a telemarketing company (couldn't stand my boss or the way the place was being run, rules constantly being changed/never adhered to, etc.)

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

coyo7e posted:

A ticket user came in (to my office):

For some reason, this one reminded me of a crazy hambeast from one of the first IT help desk jobs I had, back in '04. Lady was notorious for having (probably causing) a bunch of issues with her PC, but flat-out refused to let our IT group try to clean it up because it "takes too long" and "IT help desk always screws something up" and the like. She called each of our guys, who told her that yes, we can back up your information and do a reimage, loan a laptop out and get the PC reimaged and ready within a couple hours. Mainly because the last issue she had called about was shutting her PC off in the middle of installing Windows patches, and something got screwed up to the point that either a reimage or manually running through the PC and doing uninstalls/reinstalls and reg hacks were the only way to fully fix the problem.

Guess which option she chose? Yep, she bitched and cried and moaned to my boss, her own boss, and the drat VP of the company, and my boss got stuck spending a good 5 hours getting her PC fixed manually because she didn't want it to be reimaged. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that dumb bitch any more, but I laugh when I remember how she talked about us "wasting time" and how she couldn't wait a couple hours for a reimage/reinstall, yet had no problem sitting on her fat rear end waiting almost 3 times longer for my boss to get her stuff working.

Moral? Bitch just wanted an excuse to waste time and have someone pander to her every whim. On the upside, VP, her boss and my boss got together and basically told her that if she had any problems again, we'd be backing up and wiping her PC anyways. Didn't get many calls from her after that, but then again, I was only contracted at that job for about a year and a half and ended up leaving for greener pastures.

totalnewbie posted:

bitches about his email "archive" disappearing when his trash gets emptied.

This is right up there with morons that send their files to the Recycle Bin and then bitch when the bin gets cleared to free up 8GB of drive space because they keep getting "low disk space" warnings with all the other poo poo loaded/saved on the machine. :psyduck: Coyo7e, does the company you work for have any policies against creating a PST for storage?

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

President Anime 2008 posted:

We had yet another entire-office-moves-around-for-no-loving-reason session over the past few days. For the fourth time this year.

I don't envy you at all, my last employer was like this - worked there almost 2 years, and in that time we literally had people moving around every other month. 70 employees? You lucked out, place I was at had nearly 3,000 people in 2 buildings and we were moving around 150-200 people minimum each month. And most of the moves made absolutely no sense, I honestly couldn't tell what the purpose of all the moves was or why they had to be done so often.

Outside that:

quote:

I have to sit by a window, and I can't sit next to anybody else. I don't want to have to walk past anybody in order to get to my desk. I want to be in the corner on the far side of the room.

Sorry, take what you get/what we have. Need a specific seat? Talk to your manager about it, not an IT problem. :v:

quote:

I plan to expand my department by three staff within the next two weeks. No, I haven't got any of the furniture for them nor have I requested any additional computers to be purchased for them. Also there aren't enough data ports/power sockets in this room to accommodate them. Go and buy multi-socket extension cords and switches. I don't care if that means more points of failure for no good reason. Or about health and safety requirements. Oh also we're probably going to swap with [department name here]'s office the month after that. So you gotta do all of this again. For no reason.

Welp, no new hardware requests means your newbies will be sharing desks until we get equipment in and set up. :flame:

quote:

I can't sit near anything that has wi-fi.

Must suck living everyday life around nearly constant wi-fi signals. Here's some foil. :thumbsup:

quote:

My employees aren't going to label which is their keyboard/monitor/computer/mouse but you're drat well going to know which one is which and put it in the right place or get chewed out tomorrow!

Anything not labeled will be moved into an empty office/cube for you and the rest of your underlings to sort out yourselves. Or, if we aren't sure who it belongs to, we can just wipe all the computers and start over from scratch!

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Winkle-Daddy posted:

Unfortunately this is considered a lateral move by some loving mystery and I get no hourly pay increase. Fortunately, I will be on call one week a month for 7 12 hour days. I get paid time and a half for anything over 40 hours a week. My on call weeks I'll be logging 84 hours! (On call pay here is based on if you're actually doing anything, however, our systems page for absolutely loving everything, so you are working the entire time, or at least logging in to verify it was in fact nothing). That equates to a $20k/year raise just for on call! I was pissed for about 45 seconds when they told me I'm not moving to salary until I did the math in my head real quick.

This week has been a week of "I don't give a gently caress." I was asked to train my replacement, so I un-symlinked by bash history from /dev/null and cp'd that file to my replacement's home folder and titled it "any_questions.txt" I am an rear end.

This is beautiful. Also, you'll be glad you didn't take a salary vs. hourly position, because salaried often times means you work OT but don't get paid for it (and when calculated out, works out to much fewer dollars per hour, especially if you're on call quite a bit).

Plus, at hourly, you'll be getting time and a half up to a certain point - I forget the exact hours worked, but I know of jobs that basically pay time and a half for the first 8-10 hours of OT, and after that, it's all double-time. You might have to check for specifics, but there's a good chance you'll be making more than $20k additional (assuming that you figured the $20k based solely on time and a half rate).

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Billy the Mountain posted:

No poo poo.

Unfortunately it isn't my call to make. This client is extremely tight with money when it comes to IT. Every time we recommend they replace a computer with a new one, they tell us "Oh no, we have a spare, just set that one up.", and they go back into the recesses of some closet or storage room and come up with a machine that is older, with less ram and less processing power than the one we are using it to replace.

gently caress, I'll sell them my old dual core Opteron box I bought back in '06, it'd run circles around whatever 10+ year old machines they use now. That's insane, I understand if a place has a tight budget, but someone seriously can't be bugged to go out and get a decent tower for a couple hundred bucks? And it's not like they couldn't write it off as a business expense later and get some of their investment back...I guess some people are just impatient, dumb, or both.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

ProtoKaiser posted:

A user walks up and says that their laptop won't boot into Windows, and the error they're receiving is "No boot device detected". I noticed that a piece of plastic is missing. Turns out the HDD wasn't in there.

Thankfully the HDD was in the persons bag, and I screwed that bad boy back in. I still have no idea how the original HDD screws came loose.

My money is on someone else unscrewing it (on purpose to check it out, or mistakenly while checking something else) and the drive popped out on its own. Used to happen at a couple other help desk jobs I had where some idiot would do a drive swap and forget to screw it back in place :downs:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

madmaan posted:

So someone in my company speaks up over why the symantec SEP client can't detect or fix basic spyware/fake AV issues. A long, dumb email chain starts up and we get this gem back from someone in infosec. A user asked if SEP can do a rescan and remove a simple spyware infection. This is where we get this gem.



There is no PROVEN method to remove this virus. So no there isn't.


Regards,

(redacted)
Information Security Architect
Threat and Vulnerability Management
(redacted)
(redacted)
(redacted)
(redacted)
(redacted)

Meanwhile, 2 minutes later adaware cleans everything up after a full scan. I also want a big title and say stupid poo poo. Please sign me up.

I hate this sort of thing - one of my old bosses basically had the method of "SEP sucks, so if someone gets a virus, back up their data and wipe/reimage". Superantispyware and Malwarebytes were great for that sort of thing, and since my boss was a colossal dicktard, I'd do a scan/removal of whatever junk was on the infected PC, be done in 30 minutes, take a few minutes break and help someone else out. Made me look like a goddamn superhero most of the time because I'd be fixing stuff in less than half the time of other people and they always wanted to know my secrets. :ssh:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

nitrogen posted:

stinkfish, akutaq and uutngungsaat

Jesus, and I thought Australians were bad with animal names :stare:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

couldcareless posted:

Had to reboot one of the RDS servers just now. Woman calls me up shortly after and accuses the reboot of locking her out. She was very insistent that it was something WE did that caused her user to get locked out.

I don't get people sometimes.

I find these are the same people who accuse IT or another department of changing their password when they get locked out of their account - only to find out something stupid like Caps Lock was on.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

NorskHotDog posted:

To everyone who have user that can't click links in Outlook after uninstalling Google Chrome:

Microsoft released a fix for this.

Just send your users this link (http://support.microsoft.com/kb/310049), then tell them to scroll down a little and click on the little man wearing a hat and overalls. After it runs and makes them reboot, all will be fixed.

I always let them off the phone after telling them to hit run and tell them it will want them to reboot. It works every time.

Oh man, I absolutely *hate* this. I had to run this fix manually about 3-4 weeks ago for a user in the office who had installed CCleaner on their PC but failed to uncheck the "install Chrome" box during the process. I can't stand that Chrome not only loads but makes itself the default browser, and even after removing and setting IE as default via Set Program Access & Defaults, Outlook still won't open links.

It was a simple fix, don't remember if MS had a fix for it at the time but I had to manually set IE as default, then go into the registry and changed 6 or 7 keys that were still set to open links/html with Chrome. :argh:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Volmarias posted:

Sev 1 really ought to be the picture of that nazi's face melting from indiana jones.

I love how Sev. 3 is basically "grandma's trying to use the computer again"

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

pseudomonkey posted:

It's Tuesday here and I've been sent home from work sick. Last week left at the job so didn't want to be That Guy who calls in sick for his last shifts. 90 minutes of travel too and from work just to appease my own drat feeling of guilt.

I've done that before and trust me, it's not worth it - you end up being the guy that not only gets blamed when your teammates get sick, but get saddled with the extra work when they inevitably call in and leave the office short on help. I usually just offer to VPN in from home and try to handle problems that don't require direct hands-on intervention.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

couldcareless posted:

The router has been replaced 3 times in the past year, so I'm eliminating that from being the issue. This seems clear cut interference, but I have no idea how to start diagnosing the cause since it doesn't appear to be another wifi.

Gonna sound way out there, but how is his router plugged in? Direct to a wall socket, or into a surge protector? My stepdad had an issue recently where his router was dropping connection randomly and had to be power cycled to come back up. Turned out the surge protector he was using was loving ancient, well over 10 years old and flaking out at odd times - replaced it with a brand new one, and no issues since then.

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BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

neckbeard posted:

I used P as in 'pneumonia' once. Doesn't go over so well with clients at 6:45 in the morning

"X as in xylophone" gets the same confused, angry reaction I've noticed