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nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
It's not exactly a ticket, but a few months ago the desktops department got a hardware request form asking for a "blueberry" :psyduck:

What's worse is this doesn't seem to be an isolated incident, according to head of desktops they've also received recent requests for a "gooseberry" :psypop:

Now can someone please let me know what it means when a network is "lumpy" :eng99: Other than you didn't stir it enough.

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nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

AlexDeGruven posted:

Don't forget "compiling" for the developers.
You'd better hope they don't dump core.

Some of our switchgear is right next to the only toilets in the building where most of the developers work, and a lot of them seem to spend a lot of time "compiling". Dear god I don't know what they eat, but I'm glad I don't work there normally.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

borrowedladder posted:

Or they'll expect you're running some kind of occult operation when the mail is returned by "MAILER-DAEMON."

The results are seldom great when they do read it. I only vaguely remember having to explain what a mailer daemon was, and the person I explained it to accepted it without further comment.

The true beauty was the gentleman who called up absolutely mortified. He had a message bounced back from an organisation that used qmail, had read it through partially and started to panic. The panic culminated with the decision to call us and ask what to do.

What was the matter? The message said "This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out."

He was truly concerned that he'd offended someone and wanted to know how he could get in touch with them to apologise. Only after going around in circles for about ten minutes did he finally accept that it was a computer program, and incapable of feeling any sort of emotion towards him, much less offence, and that if he tried to send the email again with the typo fixed it would diligently deliver it. He sounded uncertain, but after urging and coaxing he went off to try it.

Since he never called back I'm guessing that either he tried anyway, or his body is yet to be discovered in his home after festering there for several years as the result of a tragic suicide.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Griz posted:

to be fair, sometimes it really does say paperjam when it's not jammed, or thinks it's permanently out of paper, or something like that.

At one job I actually did this deliberately to the person who seemed to delight in making my life miserable. Just sent the PCL code to an LJ4 to change the display so it always read "paperjam" and remotely stopped the queue for the printer on his workstation.

After several failed attempts to print something another colleague demonstrated that he could print to the printer just fine. Unfortunately this sent cow-orker number one into an apoplectic fit that threatened to destroy it, and someone had to step in to power cycle the printer before bits of yellowing HP plastic started flying around the office.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
I'm supposedly on holiday, but I've just had a fault turn up complaining of an MTU issue with packets larger than 1892 bytes :psyduck: and I'm just not sure I can't let curiosity get the better of me.

Xenomorph's user posted:

"When I have something on the screen, and I'm looking at something, every now and then it will all go away"

Isn't this something that most IT staff wish for, to varying degrees of frequency? Now there's a user experiencing it who doesn't want it!

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Lil Bukowski posted:

I'll hang up on a screamer. Fortunately, I've only ever had a couple and they were reigned in by their boss and disciplined.
I've only ever had one proper screamer, and since my days of dealing with users directly has thankfully ended long ago I hope to never deal with another one.

:supaburn: (insert swearing about how effing useless and crap I am)
:v: "I'm sorry, I can't tell you your password over the phone"
:supaburn: "Well why the gently caress not?"
:v: "Because I have no idea who you are, you could be someone trying to illegally gain access to the account, I need to see a request coming from another account with an authenticated login on the same domain, or failing that a faxed or posted letter with a signature that I can check against our filed copy"
:supaburn: "Who the gently caress do you think you are, how dare you loving talk to me like that you ignorant little bitch, just wait until tomorrow I'll have your sorry rear end loving fired, now sort this loving out before I come down there"
:v: "I'm sorry sir, if you continue to swear, I'm going to have to terminate this call"
:supaburn: "Give me the loving password, bitch"
:v: "As I said, if you continue to swear, I will terminate this call, swearing at me will not make me change my mind"
:supaburn: "Don't you loving know who I am?" (I'm surprised it took this long to get to that)
:v: "Apparently not, goodbye" *click* (presses release button)

Twenty minutes later I get a call from a very posh and apologetic sounding woman who was apparently the screamer's secretary. I feel sorry for someone who presumably has to put up with tyrannical outbursts like that on a regular basis. She wanted to apologise for her boss's behaviour and to know what we were going to do, and if I could reset the password anyway. I explained that I had forwarded the account to the managing director for review, and five minutes later had a properly signed fax to reset their password.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

bazaar apparatus posted:

Sometimes you get lucky and get a tech on the line that actually knows how to speak English and do basic troubleshooting
It's far far worse to actually be that tech.

:v: (After introduction) "So what can I do for you today?"
:downs: "Can you clean out my mailbox please, I'm on a modem right now and it's taking too long to download"
:v: "All of them? Completely cleaned out?"
:downs: "Yes, all of them"
:v: "OK, no problem, I'm just going to have to check your identity first ..."
(insert checks here, which remarkably pass without ranting or frothing at mouth)
:v: "Here we go, just cleaning out your mailbox now, can you try that please?"
:downs: "Hey, where have all my emails gone! What have you done!"
:v: :suicide:

(Yes, there was a backup)

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Yaos posted:

I bet they thought he would print out all the emails and mail them through USPS.
*ahem*
"he"?

Not everyone in this industry is male :eng101:

(It just seems like it :smith: )

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Spazz posted:

But the majority is. I don't know many women who work in IT, over the course of my short career I've seen roughly 7. I can completely understand why there's a lack of women in IT -- nobody wants to hang around with a bunch of stereotypical neckbearded geeks.

The neckbeard geeks are fine. It's the misogynistic wankers that are the problem.

Who wants to hang around or work with someone who treats you like you know nothing and are completely incapable of anything, and shouldn't even be in the department? Who wants to work with people who make rude comments to you the whole day? Who wants to work in a department where your every judgement, thought or decision is questioned publicly?

Thankfully I no longer deal directly with end users, so it's been many years since I've been told "can I talk to a real (engineer|technician) please?" :fuckoff:

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Chris Knight posted:

I knew someone who never emptied her "Deleted Items," in case she needed them again. :psyduck:
People do seem to delete things that they suddenly decide they didn't want to. After a great deal of pain retrieving said emails from the compliance archive for them, which it's not really designed for but manages, it was decided that with the advent of Exchange it would be dealt with.

Now, when you delete a message it moves to deleted items as normal, if you delete it from there it's then moved to another (hidden) folder where it stays for a period. When the inevitable happens it's pretty simple to just pop the message back to their inbox, usually.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Lum posted:

Oh god, they have RFID credit cards now?
You know, the best bit about RFID is that certain readers can be made to emulate a tag on command.

That means you can have two readers, present one to the real reader, and the other one to the user. The user swipes the tag on the one they're presented with, and you get to sniff the traffic being passed and alter it as you see fit.

Fortunately there are more cheaper cards nowadays that have sufficient processing on board to implement crypto, and there are a few readers now that are looking at ways to detect this happening.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
Today's winner of the vague ticket award is:

Ticket Raiser posted:

Please extend the firewall rule for the servers

I mean .. I suppose I can pad it out with a few spaces or something?

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Ryouga Inverse posted:

One of the managers here jokes that SOX was the best thing to happen to IT ever, because all they have to do is say "SOX requirement" and they don't have to do anything.
Hopefully one or both will shuffle off into a quiet retirement, and then we can all breath a sigh of relief and forget about it all as a bad dream.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Factor Mystic posted:

This is great, the 36 second one made me sick but the 1 hour one is slow enough to forget it's changing. I made wmv's for Vista folks, added 1 minute and 20 minute version, and edited out the little black dot: http://factormystic.net/sa/dreamscenes/color-cycle.zip
How about combining the two awesome backgrounds into one?

Take a 3x3 grid, giving nine squares, assign each of the nine squares a different starting point in the cycle, and then run all nine simultaneously through it from their starting point.

Take resulting GIF (or WMV) and stretch it to fill the background so you get the gradient effect. Even more awesome, or just spectacularly vomit-inducing?

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Nuke posted:

Note : also, my computer is freezing alot
Not that it's a ticket, or much consolation, but I've just discovered that one of the air conditioning units cooling our rather large UPS has turned itself into a solid beachball-sized icecube.

Fun!

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

ab0z posted:

put a drip tray under it and switch it off, set up some fans, and go to lunch!

It's 9pm, freezing cold, and the doors open to the outside.

Happy happy joy joy!

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

devmd01 posted:

I did this to the laser printer in the IT department of my school when I was a student worker as the lab administrator. It was hilarious to see the printer admin flip the gently caress out and go insane completely locking down all 100+ printers and making it so that jobs absolutely had to go through the print server.

Unix-style print servers will recognise the PCL as just that, PCL. That means they'll assume you've already got a local print driver that understands the printer and pass it right on through. :twisted:

One command to set a lab printer to "Insert 10p" later and the whole lab is calling helpdesk either about why their print quota is so low, or where do they put the money in the perspex box surrounding the thing apart from the paper tray.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
I personally find requests like the "MX record" change annoying, this is mostly because places I work will have several zillion domains under it's control, which may or may not have an MX record that points to smtp.company.com or smtp.domain.com. Any ticket that requires a degree of clairvoyance is open to piss-taking in my eye.

However in this case ...

kensei posted:

One of the support techs responded and he sheepishly added the IP that he wanted it changed to.
I think I should point out that MX records can't point to IP addresses. Did he mean he wanted the A record for smtp.whatever changed?

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Principia posted:

You should work at my company, our CIO likes to be on the cutting edge and doesn't take crap from software vendors about compatibility. His philosophy is that if a vendor says they can't work with X, be it Office 2007, Vista 64 or anything else we'll find someone who can. Just FYI he approved IE8 for install this morning about 30 minutes after release. :cool:

I've always found this is just as bad - it's the other extreme where change is for changes sake. I can't see how this makes anyone's life smooth.

What's wrong with a balanced approach? Change what needs to be changed, don't change what doesn't.

To take your example, what's the major business requirement for IE8?

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
I've been asked to discover why a certain application used by a sizable chunk of people is performing slowly, when the network itself is working just great.

I started off with just doing a packet capture of a client logging in, then logging out, without doing anything. Just to look for retransmissions, odd behavior and non-specific brokeness.

The capture ended up 28 seconds long, containing 2 MB of data. Most of it is just gaps with very little or nothing happening, but the rest of it is packets being hammered back and forth as fast as they will go. A few of these stand out, as for several seconds at a time it does nothing but hammer about 5300 pps back and forth, where the packets are 18 bytes and 34 bytes respectively. Oh, and they're all the same.

:psypop:

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

ledge posted:

Customer Help has comfirmed the examples provided by customers are online and working. All services were restored at 19:45 yesterday, root cause of fault was Truck vs Pole, please troubleshoot as normal.

Some time ago I was working in 24 hour operations at a major ISP in the UK. It's the morning, and I'm just coming to the end of a 12 hour shift. At 08:09 in the morning of 5th October 1999 the monitoring system flags a warning that a managed customer circuit may have gone down. By 08:10 there are more circuits showing red in the monitoring window than I had space to view and by 08:11 the monitoring system is a sea of red and I'm calling the British Telecom fault service.

:) - "BT Fault reporting, can I take the circuit or ticket reference you are calling about please?"
:v: - "Hi, this is nene from $ISP service operations centre south, have you got a pen and paper handy I've got a number of circuits down."
:) - "Oh, I'm sorry, can you hang on a minute? How many?"
:v: - "I stopped counting at 60, but there's way more than that."
:) - ".. I .. err .. I need to talk to someone, will you hold?"
She doesn't actually put me on hold, so I can hear the sounds of several people in a frantic discussion in the background. I would assume the conversation is being joined by a lot of other people at the same time."
:( - "Hello?"
:v: - "Hi"
:aaa: - "OK, it looks like we've got a high order failure somewhere, someone just said we just had part of the transmission network go away, but we don't have any details yet. I'm waiting for the major ticket to be opened, and I'll call you back when I have it."

At the same time as this I can hear a collegue discussing with a manager from another department why the number of people we have on our modem pools just dropped by about five thousand.

A little while later someone arrives for the day shift, and asks if we'd been looking at any news lately.

This is what happened at 08:08:58 on the 5th October. :smith:

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

thehustler posted:

I'm not really understanding, did the crash take out some infrastructure around the track that belonged to BT?
Short answer: Yes.

Long answer:

There's a surprising amount of infrastructure in the UK that runs alongside both canals and railways.

The canalside stuff came about because someone at Marconi was looking at a map of canals, supposedly planning a canal holiday though I've no way to confirm that now, and realised that actually the canal network goes a lot of places and wouldn't need massive construction or digging to run fibre along. They formed a company called Ipsaris who ended up doing a deal with British Waterways. Eventually they were bought by Easynet who were in turn bought by that wonderful Rupert Murdoch empire BSkyB.

The railways came about in a much more structured way. For a very long time British Rail ran it's own telephone and telecommunications systems that ran alongside it's infrastructure. All the way down to exchanges in the stations it shadowed the BT setup completely and independently. They called it British Rail Telecommunications since they were essentially civil servants and thus lacked the sort of corporate imagination that gave us lots of weird names we're used to seeing nowadays. This was sold off during the period of rail privatisation in the UK to Racal, who had got bored with a lack of telecoms division since they sold off Vodafone. This was turned into a company called Fibrenet, who made quite an astonishingly large amount of money selling fibre and other long haul connections cheaper than BT, and were eventually bought by Global Crossing.

The new Network Rail that actually owned all the track and the land it sat on, spotted all this happening since they were now being paid rental for all this cable that sat on their land. They decided that being paid for doing nothing whatsoever was great, and they wanted more of it.

This was so successful that BT were buying from Fibrenet (and later Network Rail directly) themselves, especially for routes into London. Laying fibre alongside railway lines in the dead of night beats by a long way paying enormous amounts of money to dig up tracts of roads going into London, causing massive traffic chaos in the process.

The section just outside Paddington was what was damaged doing the crash. The high speed train basically minced up all the cabling running alongside the track as it crashed. BT had PDH/SDH network links running alongside the track in fibre at that point, and as well as customer lines they used these networks to run E1 trunks between exchanges. Any call in progress along that network was dropped when it was severed, which in this case was almost anything in the south of England west of London, talking to London. Any circuit on the link which didn't have a protection path assigned, which was almost all of them since it's BT and you have to pay extra for that kind of thing, went down at the same time.

To BT's credit, by the time I came back into work a little over 12 hours after the crash, they had restored service to all but two of the circuits that went down, and even they came back during my shift.

It's easy to get isolated from the real world sitting in a nice cosy NOC with generator power and food supplies, but realising that the reason you've had a bad morning was because thirty one people just died really puts perspective on things. Having said that, it didn't effect me nearly as badly as something which happened in New York nearly two years later. That was mostly because we'd aimed the steerable dish on the roof at a comms satellite to see what we could find without a normal TV, and got to watch a wildfeed from someone with a camera running away as people got squished by falling metal chunks the size of houses. I didn't really think about it much at the time since I was pre-occupied with trying to maintain connectivity to anything in the USA, but that poo poo gave me nightmares for years.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Starbucks posted:

Digging roads is loving expensive and annoying, this is why companies do not go all in a happy place and decide to all dig up the road at the same time because that would make it more annoying.

To put this into perspective, last year I did a study on a new fibre dig for the company I work for, just to link up three buildings across the city centre. Now this is an old city with a lot of archaeology that needs to be preserved, which does skew things a bit, but not that greatly. The buildings are less than a mile apart in a sort of crooked line.

The quote came in at an estimate of £250,000. The best case possible was a little over £180,000, and the worst case somewhere in the region of £750,000 if anything that could go wrong did, plus the possibility of a claim on liability insurance if we accidentally broke into someone's unmarked cellar/basement.

It cost a little under £5,000 to partially close a road to open an inspection chamber and discover that rats had been chowing down on an incorrectly-specced cable installed into the duct by my predecessor. Though that's better than the £15,000 we were expecting it to cost to dig up the road. It looked like a duct collapse on the OTDR, and lined up worryingly well with the cracking in the road surface from a pinch-test. It turned out that it was NTL's ducts that were collapsing, not ours :D

In a previous job I was looking at inter-city fibre. Once you get out into the countryside though it gets much cheaper, usually as little as £50 per metre laid, whereas the prices that network rail quoted me were around £20 per metre. It would in fact be less, were it not for the fact that it requires workers who are trained to not die in a horrifying and messy fashion on a railway.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Doc Faustus posted:

We sent out an email today telling people a) how to see if they have conficker, and b) asking them to check which version of Mcafee they were running. We've gone from 3 active tickets to 11 since the email went out. :(
Well we've scanned our corporate networks for conficker infected machines, and for the time being we seem to be clean.

The fact of the matter is we've no idea what's going to happen, if anything at all.

We just need to be prepared and deal with whatever poo poo comes up as calmly and effectively as possible. I don't know about anyone else, but we've already done everything we possibly can, so there's no point worrying about it until "it" happens, whatever "it" happens to be.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
Just overheard this:

:eng101: - "Your computer has shutdown?"
:eng99: - "Yes, that would definitely explain why it stopped responding."

He's relatively new to helpdesk, and in fact IT at all, given the expression on his face I think despair is setting in already.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Badfinger posted:

I find 'freses' to be more damning than Oprah.
At least they didn't use the word "havening" in the ticket.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Griz posted:

or just make an _allusers@company.com Outlook group and set permissions so only certain people can use it
That just means that anyone else will insert the entire global address list and add it to the "to" line :commissar:

So then you're right back to square one. We're trying to solve a problem with a technical solution here, unfortunately the problem is that people are stupid.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Casao posted:

"I think we need to punch a hole in the firewall."

I have been tempted to do this on a number of occasions.

Thank you Juniper for your poo poo-tastic MS-RPC ALG implementation.

Thank you also for waiting THIRTEEN loving months since we reported it before rolling the fix into a mainstream release.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

coyo7e posted:

Make sure that they know they can makening the register takening a total of how many No Sales and Voids the register has been havening each shift?

Don't forget to send it to the printerer for the hole area.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

kensei posted:

Sure, we'll change that just for you!
It sounds like the setting to change is the number of previous passwords remembered/prohibited.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Beary Mancrush posted:

Can you imagine dealing with the invoice or trying to figure out how to PO code a toliet for a NOC? I can imagine our controller knocking on my office door and saying "Sooooo I have a couple questions about this invoice...."
Put it under hardware upgrades as a "white porcelain telephone", as an added bonus then it won't even come out of your capex budget.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist
I've just opened a ticket for a fault on a dark fibre circuit, and been told that we get to pay for the fault investigation by the engineer per hour, even when the investigation proves the fault is on the fibre and not our equipment.

:psyduck:

I'm pretty sure that's not how things are supposed to work

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Griz posted:

and the network guys who keep blocking ports and refuse to change the firewall settings until we install Wireshark on their server and send logs showing that all our traffic is being dropped.

I get this a lot at work.

Yes, we deliberately go around "block ports", just to break whatever pissant functionality they provide and upset people.

Well, no actually, we don't. Rather than start off with the thought that everything is allowed and just block the things that look bad, we generally start off with the thought that everything is blocked, and we only allow things that look good. Simple, yes? Well I thought it was, as do many of my contemporaries, however occasionally we still get tickets complaining that we're blocking $VITAL_SERVICE.

So if you're going to open tickets about the firewalls blocking (what you say is) legitimate traffic, it would be nice to see things like stating why you think it should be allowed and what you want to use it for. Other nice touches include saying who it's for, or what servers perhaps.

Finally, before you open tickets or start screaming to upper management that the firewall is breaking your service, check the piece of crap software hasn't just crashed in the mean time.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Griz posted:

most of the time we just email "the ports document" to the network guy and everything magically starts working a couple hours later.
I really wish people would do that.

It would make my life so much easier. Is it so much to ask? Just a list of ports and sources/destinations with a one line description. It's not rocket science. Hell, you don't even have to put the IP addresses in the hosts or networks so long as they're easy to identify. Do people do this? No!

I've had a ticket stale in my queue for almost a month. Turns up with a request to urgently allow access to a service out on the internet. OK, that's fair enough, it crops up from time to time, so I attach a note back asking for a more specific user group than "we" and if they have a business requirement for the service. Nothing comes back after a week, so I send another note asking if it's still needed. Still nothing, so after yet another week I ask helpdesk to chase the guy and see what's going on. A week after that they manage to talk to someone in the same department, who knows nothing about what he asked for and reveals that he's gone off on a long holiday in the meantime.

I guess it wasn't that urgent.

Griz posted:

that document is also included in the pre-install guide so there's really no excuse for showing up to an on-site install and doing literally nothing for two days because everything is locked down so hard that we can't do anything.
Again, it would be great if people paid attention to things like this, and passed them on. Sometimes we don't even get vendors who have documents like that.

The vendor in question turns up, and their sacrificial "engineer" acts like having a firewall involved blows his mind. He just gives me a terse document that describes how to set their software to operate through a firewall. Nice try, but I think he's the one that needs that, not me. After three solid days of cajoling I finally get some info, and implement it. It doesn't work correctly. All the engineer does is spend his entire life on the phone to their tech support, but it eventually transpires that the piece of information that was missing is that both the client and the server part of their software need to listen on the same ports and communication is completely bidirectional. How did we find that out? Wireshark. That blew their mind too.

The entire installation is beset with problems, and everything is blamed on "firewall issues" whether it is or not. After two weeks of this I end up with an epic stress-induced migraine, and I'm pulled from the installation. Some of the best problems that were blamed on the firewall is their service crashing because they've installed 32 bit software on a 64 bit OS, and the service just binding to the first interface it finds, at random, on servers with more than one ethernet interface. The sysinternals tools blew their mind as well.

Last year I asked other teams for their requirements for communications through the firewall. The Mac team comes back with a complete and comprehensive document several months ahead of schedule. The windows team does nothing until the week before one of their vendors turns up, which involves stating that they're going to turn up, and they don't know what's going to be needed. When the vendor does turn up, they're frustrated and drop a forty page document on my minion, who understandably reacts with "this might take a while" and starts reading it. At some point this gets turned into "Nene's team is refusing to allow it to work through the firewall and stopping us from doing the install" and thrown up several layers on the management tree.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Arsten posted:

Seeing as googling for "dics" brings it up as a mis-spelling of "discs", I don't feel very out of the know.
The solution is simple. Use a disc cutter to sort out the tightly tied up wiring.

Not only does it get out of the way, but it should put a suitable amount of fear into their co-workers and sort out a bit of stress too.

For those of us in the UK, HSS Hire have some very reasonably rates, if you're not .. well I'm sure you can find somewhere similar where you are.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

wolrah posted:

I also have a problem with the idea that I need to authenticate before I can use the dedicated line running between my CO and the location. You know where I am, you know who I am, just loving work like cable does. Plug modem in to router, set router to DHCP, done. (I know, I know, this screws up sharing lines with other ISPs)
Maybe if you close your eyes and wish hard enough, the world will magically change to the way you want it to be?

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Khelmar posted:

I'm a vet, and these people piss me off. I can NOT understand why people who can get a DVM and a Ph.D. can't do basic troubleshooting.
As I keep reminding people where I work, the fact that someone is intelligent doesn't mean that they have common sense.

Something I've had a little luck with medical professionals in the past is making the troubleshooting look like diagnosing a problem, with symptoms and causes. Vets should be even better at this, because they're used to their patients making nonsense and not being able to say where it hurts.

Of course, it's possible that some of them are just idiots.

Khelmar posted:

Also, for the e-mail server admins - why the hate of IMAP?
For an ISP or something like that, it's because people store all their email on the server and you end up with most of the mailstore being taken up by the few people using IMAP.

For a corporate we usually want people to use IMAP because we want all their mail on the server so we can back it up. Of course for those using Exchange, whilst it's not IMAP it still works the same way.

Other than that, I'm guessing it would be the normal fear of something they don't understand perhaps.

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Arsten posted:

Since this is a gasoline engine, this is handled through the butterfly valve, which creates a vacuum by the air rushing by it for the intake into the engine (where it's burned, yadda yadda). Too much backpressure from oil heavier than the designed brake fluid (which is, like, every oil out there. Unless you pump gasoline into your brake reservoir as oil :downs: ) and you can force pockets of vacuum into the intake manifold. If you get a vacuum pocket big enough to cover a full firing sequence, the engine will shut down.
Are you real? :psyduck:

Still I suppose that would be a plausible explanation for someone who has no idea how engines work.

What's a vacuum pocket? Is that like the reverse of air pockets that you hear turbulence blamed on in planes?

(I apologise if you're serious, and I'll explain how it really works)

nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Honey Im Homme posted:

How do i register for the ticket system?
I've just been catching up on this thread, since I'm being 100% lazy at the moment owing to a nice two week holiday, and now I've just had a flash-back to a previous job. Thanks!


I was contracting at a fairly large company as cover for someone else. Eventually I was given an access card, and even got an AD account and accompanying email address. Not bad, only a week and a half left on the initial contract. At this point I'm told I need to get an account set up on the ticketing system in use.

Off I go to the system, after trawling through the help I find the procedure to have an account created in a Word document. This document says that I need to go to another ticketing system first, and open a ticket there requesting an account on the first one.

Dutifully I start looking for the method to open a ticket on this other ticketing system, and find that to do so requires an account. The account creation procedure here is contained within a PDF document this time, and has a link with which to do so. Opening this URL asks me for my username and password.

Yes, that's right. To get an account on the ticketing system, you must first open a ticket in another ticketing system, which requires an account to open a ticket requesting your account be created and have permission to create tickets.

I call the helpdesk, who helpfully reset my AD username and password :suicide:
I call the helpdesk again, and try to explain to them the concept of catch 22. This time I'm instructed to ask my boss, who also lacks an account on the other ticketing system, to open the ticket instead.
After sitting down for a while weeping quietly, and wondering why I didn't ask for a higher day rate, I ask my boss for advice. Simple, he says, just email them instead - you always get a much better response by email. Almost immediately (ie only a week and a half later) the email is graced with a reply saying my request has been denied since I don't have authority to request an account creation.
That's not a problem, says my boss, I'll just email them myself.

A little over six months later I told them I didn't want to renew my contract with them and walked out of the building a free woman, and much less-well-paid. I still didn't have an account on the ticketing system.

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nene
Jan 5, 2007
Mad Scientist

Panthrax posted:

This didn't generate a ticket for us, but I'm sure it would have for someone else, so I can post it, right?
That has to be worth at least a Cisco TAC case, and I'd be asking the account manager some fairly intense questions about why the gently caress it caught fire.

Did it set off the fire suppression? That would cause some tickets (and hopefully photographs).