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minivanmegafun posted:Despite repeated attempts to get my CDW sales rep to quit calling me with offers for antivirus software, network appliances, and warranty upgrades, he won't quit calling. My boss got pissed when NewEgg wouldn't accept a return for a part we ordered by mistake. Instead of firing the moron who ordered a weird laptop hard drive (micro ATA or something like that) for a weird laptop without ever looking at the laptop, he decided no more NewEgg! Everything get's ordered from CDW! And then when I complained that CDW's site sucks and I'd rather find parts on NewEgg (in this case, it was hard drive + enclosure) he said to shop on NewEgg and then order the same parts from CDW 
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| # ¿ Oct 19, 2009 22:44 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 18:27 |
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quote:This DR plan assumes the following: Also, our DR plan just assumes that will have new facilities and machines and power and network and do not worry it is cool. quote:Details of our backups. We currently have a fireproof safe that stores yearly archives of our systems as well as a set of tapes that provide 30 day incremental backups. We also store offsite a copy of our yearly archives at: *
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| # ¿ Oct 23, 2009 15:48 |
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Dick Trauma posted:I have to stop before this turns into an almost Lovecraftian tidal wave of stories of this idiot's madness. Best I not talk about our mandatory Halloween costumes. Sounds like mandatory sick day to me.
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| # ¿ Oct 26, 2009 18:42 |
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ProjektorBoy posted:Lets get to talking about tickets, shall we? For new accounts, the student gets a form signed and turned into the main office, we get the form, create the account, and drop of a piece of paper with their new passwords on it. My boss was telling me a story about how one of my former co workers was on the way to dropping off a new account form to the office. My boss stops him to give him a hard time and looks at the account form. The username: hymen. Being a school, we have a lot of foreign students, so of course the name hymen made sense. Best part was, the co worker didn't even get it that hymen was a dirty username...
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| # ¿ Oct 31, 2009 02:25 |
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EvilMuppet posted:I don't know where else to put this so here will do. I had the opposite of a bad ticket come in. The explanation of the (complicated) problem was long and detailed without going going off topic or including unnecessary details. A grad student came down, and told us the printer in the grad lab was broken. I ash him what's broken, and he says "I don't know, that's your job" and leaves. 
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| # ¿ Nov 1, 2009 14:49 |
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Mr Chips posted:"It doesn't print" Yeah, next step after "what's broken?" is "what happens when you try to print?" Most often, the answer is "it doesn't print." Sadly, often that's the best our printing system can do. Our printing system sucks  Edit: Yaos posted:It's not working! There's no error message and nothing! One of the best things about Windows I think is how descriptive the error messages are when you can't log on. And yet when people can't log in, they never bother to read the error messages. They just keep logging in and complain that their password doesn't work, when it's some other problem. Unless their password is actually bad, in which case they complain that they pay a lot for their account and they should get access right away. gently caress students. FISHMANPET fucked around with this message at Nov 2, 2009 around 02:23 |
| # ¿ Nov 2, 2009 02:11 |
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quote:Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you die, and are never admitted to any grad school ever BECAUSE YOU CANNOT READ.
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| # ¿ Nov 4, 2009 19:05 |
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theangryamoeba posted:It is ambiguously written. I'm assuming that the application will not become available until the 15th. The way it is written could be construed to mean that the application will not be available after the 15th. I cannot totally disagree with your assessment. Not my app, not my ticket though, so I don't really care. Here's one we can all get behind: quote:Subject: To him alone, and for him I will comb my hair
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| # ¿ Nov 4, 2009 19:29 |
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Most everybody in our admin office has 24" monitors, except for one lady who has a 30". BTW, she's the one who controls the office budget, so ...  Somebody got her setup so her icons are about an inch high. She's still at the native resolution, so that's good, but she sits a foot away from the screen, they shouldn't need to be that big... I don't think we've got many people here who don't run at native resolution. I've got a pretty good eye for monitor resolutions so if I see one that's not setup properly I change it or try and call out whoever deployed a machine without installing *any* drivers...
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| # ¿ Nov 12, 2009 14:58 |
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coyo7e posted:You'd love my copy of Dev Studio: Black with dark grey background here. And dark grey titlebars. My Ubuntu theme at work is a black abyss.
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| # ¿ Nov 19, 2009 01:21 |
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Bob Cthulhu posted:We get poo poo like this all the time. You know what that person is going to do when you hire them, so why can't you just write it down so I can have it ready for them? When management calls and bitches about it, I politely request the proper paperwork, then remind them that it could take up to 2 weeks before it's done. It kinda pisses people off, because they're too stupid to fill out their own forms, which then have to go through a committee for approval. By the time it's finished, the last 5 or 6 new hires have been at work for a month before they have their own username and password. Two weeks? We can do it in half a fortnight. Fun fact: Our account request forms used to say "Accounts could take up to half a fortnight to be created" I'm not sure when it got changed to 'one week,' but every once in a while someone finds the old form and makes a photocopy and gives it to a new student.
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| # ¿ Nov 20, 2009 03:31 |
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Midelne posted:I had a DHCP-related issue once at home and called up Comcast and the tech I spoke with didn't know what DHCP was or what "log" it was that I would find DHCP errors in, but was making idle chit-chat about starting an on-site tech support business with one of his friends. Your mileage in pretty much any tech environment may vary wildly. I chatted with Comcast Support (btw, I Googled her name, and she might have been in the Philipines). I was trying to get them to set up proper A records for their DNS names so the IP I get via DHCP would pass a reverse DNS test. First she Googled 'Reverse DNS' and sent me the first link. That was just a reverse DNS checker, and of course my IP failed. This chat ended with her resetting my internet in such a way that I had to call Comcast and get them to reactivte me as if I was a new customer. I told the guy on the phone about my problem, and he said that Comcast doesn't do that (despite the fact that my old Comcast IP was setup properly) and that there was no advanced tech support, no network engineers, nothing at all more advanced. This whole thing got solved when someone else on the same DHCP block posted on DSL reports to compain. A comcast tech saw the thread, and was like 'oh crap we forgot a records on a huge swath of our IPs!' and fixed it. 
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| # ¿ Nov 22, 2009 10:01 |
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quote:A ticket came in... And I would love to read it, if only are ticketing system weren't running off a webserver and db server that are both running on lovely 4-5 year old SPARC hardware. I'm not one to rag on SPARC at the highend, BUT WHEN YOU CHEAP OUT ON SPARC HARDWARE YOU'RE GOING TO GET poo poo.
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| # ¿ Nov 30, 2009 18:25 |
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Dick Trauma posted:EDIT: Goddammit that Yachts folder is the last one and it's just dragging. I have woefully underestimated how much yacht related email he must have. Just had to share, that I can't stop laughing at this. SERIOUS POST: It's probably full of pictures, which are big 
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| # ¿ Dec 3, 2009 07:07 |
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TheRealLuquado posted:One of our smaller clients (2 person company in rented/shared office enviroment) called yesterday. We only work for this small company in one office on a floor with 10 other companies that all share the network, which is managed by the building. All we can touch is this companies computers and the cables going into the wall, after that it is out of our hands. Why not offer to work with the building IT to get their problems fixed? A lot of people doen't understand support scobe, and they obviously have no idea what you're telling them. Charge them for the time you spend working with the other IT. Asuming even a mildly competent building IT staff, it shouldn't take long for you to describe the problem to them. Everybody wins: you get more money, the customer gets his poo poo fixed, and the building IT department gets a problem description that wont' end up posted in this thread.
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| # ¿ Dec 4, 2009 23:40 |
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TheRealLuquado posted:We have. The building IT people won't work with us. There is no communication between them and us, and not for our lack of trying. It isn't a mildly competent IT staff there either. They suck rear end, they reconfigure ports and IPs without telling anyone, then guard this information as if it were CIA secrets. It's a pretty hosed up situation, but as long as our clients want to rent office space there, we do what we can. Well that's just hosed.
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| # ¿ Dec 5, 2009 02:02 |
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Richard Noggin posted:Yeah, the last time I had open bar at a corporate party I wound up nailing a coworker's girlfriend in the bed next to his in the hotel room we shared. Lies. CJs don't have sex.
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| # ¿ Dec 10, 2009 01:27 |
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Sojourner posted:We've had a lot of different schemes, we usually do it by purchase year. Greek Gods, Egyptian Gods, Trailer Park Boys, "Electra" (Hint: it's like 4 RU..figure it out), and now we're onto Norse Gods. First name used: Thor. I hope 'Thor' was a sun X4550 or you're fired.
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| # ¿ Dec 12, 2009 02:50 |
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Javid posted:Today I was reminded of a popular topic in this thread, though one not touched upon in some pages: People who submit a ticket, and then abandon the building with great speed. Wait, is it IT's job to pick up users from the greyhound station, or is this an analogy for, really, anything else us CJs do.
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| # ¿ Dec 16, 2009 06:34 |
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Beary Mancrush posted:Not sure why he added all the CRs. Not sure what he wants, but he included a screenshot with a pink arrow pointing to some random folder. This sounds easy. He has a shared spreadsheet that he wants other people to be able to enter data into. But he doesn't want them to change the nuts and bolts of the spreadsheet (aka formatting and formulas). He's wondering if there's a way you can put a password on the document such that data can be entered without the password but to change any formating or the formulas, the user would need the password. Now I have no idea if that's possible and if it is, how to do it, but the request seems pretty straight forward, minus all the CRs.
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| # ¿ Dec 18, 2009 00:47 |
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Here's one from one of our frequent flyers:quote:He won't be able to work effectively until this is done, so please Those two half sentences don't come together to form a whole coherent thought... This guy has quite the attitude, and just generally treats us as being below him, but no so much that my boss can bitch at him or his advisor. Instead, it's just enough for every request he makes to grate under my skin, but still fall within an acceptable tone.
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| # ¿ Dec 18, 2009 01:41 |
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Fffffffffff. Here's one from one of my student workers. Looks like one of our tape drives pooped itself last night. quote:Hi Guys, Fffffffff. You should know better. Don't 'sort of' give me the error message. Just give me the loving error message so I can use half a brain and look it up in the manual.
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| # ¿ Dec 20, 2009 20:30 |
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Speaking of hard drive space, last night I had to move somebody's 500 Mb yoga video out of the 1 GB /tmp partition on our login server, because the fucker filled it up. I have no idea why he would store stuff there, when there's a perfectly good 6 Gb partition just waiting for you to dump your poo poo into.
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| # ¿ Dec 21, 2009 15:20 |
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Ryouga Inverse posted:He posted a diatribe about someone who literally just asked if they could fix his problem at their "earliest convenience". Oh, and he basically posted a FizzBuzz solution too. I think he's one of the "IT people" that users bitch about because they're such assholes. In my defense, that first one is a lot worse if you know the user. And as to the second one, that pisses me off because get tons of tickets that go something like: quote:I can't log in, it says bad password or something, please fix quote:It still says bad password or something Also, users love me becuase I know what the gently caress I'm doing. Starting next month it's going to be me and another guy moving to a different building to take over support for about 450 users 
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| # ¿ Dec 21, 2009 22:21 |
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Cryptic Edge posted:That and the fact he was yelled at when he asked for better information. Hot drat, there is justice in this world.
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| # ¿ Dec 22, 2009 19:20 |
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Dick Trauma posted:First support email of the day: http://simulatedcomicproduct.com/20...e-your-problem/
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| # ¿ Dec 30, 2009 17:23 |
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ymgve posted:At first I didn't read the whole message, so I thought it would be about notifying people that has exceeded their mail quota through mail. Which would also have been fitting for this thread. We notify via email at my job!
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| # ¿ Jan 15, 2010 19:38 |
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I got my first error as a power point ticket today... It's a plain text error from a webpage that he could have just copied into the email. At least he understands that since it's a picture, he should use a picture program instead of word...  On the bright side, my boss basically gave me permission to keep alcohol in my desk. But none of this scotch and whiskey poo poo, vodka only for me.
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| # ¿ Jan 20, 2010 14:55 |
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sfwarlock posted:EDIT 2: and now he's showing them Lady Gaga parody videos on youtube. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/...r_n_412080.html To actually contribute: I work at a University, and for billing purposes we close all accounts at the end of every semester, and require students to reopen them. Now 'old Russian lady' has become a bit of a legend at the help desk. She spent at least 3 years (six semesters) in the intro level computer science course. She only passed because someone competent lost their partner and old Russian lady basically got dragged through to a passing grade with this lady. Now she's in her 2nd semester of the next level class. So she's opened her account at least 7 times. So of course she comes to the help desk completely confused as to why her account is closed and what she needs to do to fix it. I swear this woman has an IQ of like 80. Why did she spend 3 years taking an intro level class? At what point do you say 'I suck at this, I should learn to knit.'?
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| # ¿ Jan 20, 2010 23:36 |
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quote:I want to create a webpage under "http://www-users.********". Please do First time I've been asked to do the needful. Perhaps a celebratory drink is in order? Also, it's as simple as creating a .www directory in his unix home directory, but whatever.
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| # ¿ Jan 22, 2010 14:42 |
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Nybble posted:Marketing call I got was a mortgage call. To my University dorm room phone. I've gotten one of those. The (Indian) woman didn't understand what a dorm was. I'm also just about sick of people who come to the help desk (walk in).  I can't log in What does it say when you can't log in? I get an error message What does the error message say? I don't know...And everybody does this too. Every walkin starts with the user going up 2 or 3 floors to actually turn on their brain and read the error message, and most emails take an extra week to complete because of the back and forth required in actually getting the error message.
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| # ¿ Jan 26, 2010 23:27 |
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juggalol posted:The machine doesn't exist (yet). Hardware's been ordered, but hasn't arrived yet. This information is clearly communicated in the ticket that's being used to track the progress of adding these new servers. I'm not sure if you're grasping the urgency of the problem here...
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| # ¿ Jan 29, 2010 03:57 |
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baked posted:Ugh, this exact poo poo happened to us last year, although it brought our whole network crashing to its knees. Not fun. We had some stupid grad student bring in a home router, also people do stupid poo poo like like plug a pocket switch into two seperate vlans. Because of stuff like that, our network admin has gone all  with port security.
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| # ¿ Feb 5, 2010 07:39 |
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I'm stupid, what is a 'cart' that you keep referring to?
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| # ¿ Feb 10, 2010 00:10 |
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sm8000 posted:Online shopping cart, e.g. "Your cart includes..." Ah. I'm used to calling them e-quotes, so I just picture this dude riding the subway with a big cart carrying a computer 
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| # ¿ Feb 10, 2010 00:26 |
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He's basically damned either way. On the one hand, yes, she approved a PC that wasn't what she wanted, but that's just ignorance on her part and there's nothing you can do about that. On the other hand, how would you get out of her that it should be Vista? I bet if you would have asked her straight to her face if she wanted XP, Vista, or 7, she would have said "No, I only need one computer!  "So what the hell are you supposed to do, except look like you have no idea what you're doing, and charge her more money.
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| # ¿ Feb 10, 2010 18:32 |
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Naramyth posted:My home server has stuff running in virtual boxes that don't work until I sign the host back in. Sucks when I forget about update Tuesday and need my SSH! I should setup an email or text message thing to warn me when it reboots. Autologin?
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| # ¿ Feb 10, 2010 18:33 |
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Friend. Yeah.
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| # ¿ Feb 10, 2010 21:05 |
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This happens to us every once and a while:
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| # ¿ Feb 11, 2010 15:09 |
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| # ¿ May 25, 2013 18:27 |
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Farking Bastage posted:We always call these drive-by's. They suck and they can piss you off, but by all means help them out or point them to the person who can ( saying call the helpdesk does not count). If you can't do poo poo with it, tell them, but offer to either find out or ask the right people. That's just basic customer service there man. Not at lunch time. I was also going to post "because he wasn't at a desk" as a reason for not helping her.
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| # ¿ Feb 18, 2010 20:15 |
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