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NightGyr posted:"What does doc. formate mean and why cant i post my assignment in the writting center for exalnce" You do tech support for the University of Phoenix, don't you?
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Dec 4, 2008 22:19
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Chunky Monkey posted:Other details: When Tammie tries to print to xxxxxxx she can only print to the "open tray". She has needs to print to the "closed tray". If it's a LaserJet, then it means her computer settings are defaulting to Tray 1, which is a fold-out tray that you use for odd-sized paper. The 'closed tray' is likely tray 2 or 3, which are the normal letter paper trays which sit under the printer.
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Dec 5, 2008 15:32
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borrowedladder posted:"Syncing records" will now go right up there along with "sending emails" and "calling my broker" as euphemisms for a trip to the men's room. Don't forget "compiling" for the developers.
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Dec 9, 2008 20:30
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tripwires posted:So a ticket came in: Why does someone without the knowledge of the proper operation of 'rm' even allowed in with root or sudo access? To contribute: One of my last HelpDesk calls before I moved to my current position involved an individual that couldn't open an attachment. For whatever reason (I don't deal with our mail system, thankfully), our e-mail client does its virus check quietly. The end result is that an infected file will just simply not open.  = Person = Me: I'm trying to open this attachment, but nothing happens when I double-click on it: Hm... Ok. Was the e-mail from inside or outside (the organization)?: Outside. I don't know who this person is. Starts going off in my head immediately: So, you don't know the person that sent you this attachment? Our recommendation for these things is to delete them right away because they could be from a virus (this was before EVERY spam/virus came from a spoofed address).: Well, when I opened it at home (the web client allows you to download it and open it), it popped up a virus warning, but here it just does nothing.: Then it's a virus. Just delete the e-mail and empty your trash folder.: No. I need to open this attachment. I need to know what it is.: It's a virus. I just told you that.: But what if it's something important?: It's not. It's a virus. Just delete it. If you somehow managed to get the file to open, you would infect your machine, and cause problems for the entire network (starting my doom-and-gloom mode to try and get them to shut up and go away).: But I REALLY need to open this.: (Now in full-on helpdesk rage mode) Look. By continually attempting to open this attachment, you are intentionally trying to destroy the organization's property. Just delete the e-mail, empty your trash, and be done with it. I guarantee you 100% that the file is a virus itself, or at least infected with one, and you should not continue to try to open it.: But, but...: No buts. Just delete the e-mail. Period.: I want to talk to your supervisor. I need to know what this message is.: It's a virus. His number is xxx-xxxx. He's out of the office today, but he'll be back promptly at 8am tomorrow.My supervisor at the time was and is now a very good friend, and long-time co-worker. She started calling his office at 7:45 the next morning, and still insisted on being able to open the attachment (I got to hang in the office while he talked to her). The conversation ended with a threat from my supervisor to remove system access (e-mail was not yet considered essential for job function), and referral to HR. I've never been happier than the moment I hung up the phone from my very last call.
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Dec 11, 2008 15:39
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borrowedladder posted:Or they'll expect you're running some kind of occult operation when the mail is returned by "MAILER-DAEMON." That reminds me of the people that used to freak out from the 'Illegal Operation' warning popups. Seriously, Microsoft. When you're selling a consumer-level product (Ala Win9x), dumb down and sanitize your error messages. I got no less than 20 calls before we went to Win2k about the illegal operations.
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Dec 15, 2008 20:44
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Ratmtattat posted:I worked for a place that did nothing but tech support for doctors and hospitals. I learned very quickly to hate doctors with a passion. So many were abusive, egotistical, and completely addicted to pornography it was unreal. They reminded me of going to the grocery store, seeing a kid having a huge fit because he wants candy, and his mom just finally shoves it in his face to get him to shut up. That kid grows up to be a doctor and is now on the phone with me. During my HelpDesk tenure, I dealt with about 6 nice doctors. The other 1500 were complete dicks and firmly subscribed to the 'Give me what I want now or I'll make your life hell' doctrine. One in particular ended up in possession of the CIO's home number in case there was an issue that we couldn't handle for him at 3am. Total, complete, utter cockmuncher.
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Dec 16, 2008 20:04
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haljordan posted:It annoys me because I've been at this job for ~18 months now, and this guy KNOWS I'm going to fix his problem as soon as possible. Why he still feels the need to throw a hissy fit every time is beyond me. They have lost their sense of asking. After a while, they get so used to demanding everything, it becomes who they are.
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Dec 16, 2008 20:29
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haljordan posted:Yeah and then people get even more pissed when they can't reach you because you're already on the phone trying to fix poo poo Datacenter fires at 4am are a great way to have 100 people waiting on the phone, as well.
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Dec 16, 2008 21:22
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foobat posted:I am not a scientist, that is your job... To paraphrase programming advice from userfriendly: code:
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Dec 17, 2008 17:13
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haljordan posted:Question: When explaining a solution/problem to customers, how much technical terminology do you use? I've been in situations before where using a really simple analogy to explain the problem makes the customer resent you for thinking they're stupid, while being TOO technical annoys them and causes them to stop listening to you. I'll start with the technically correct terminology and adjust depending on the reaction I get. If I get a 'Hmm... I think I know what you're talking about, but I'm still confused' look, I'll only dumb it down a bit. If I get a 'What? You want to do what to the who and the where, when?' look, I'll adjust accordingly. Eventually, we'll both be on the same page.
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Dec 18, 2008 14:47
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Accipiter posted:Seriously. If a phone is flushed, it's gone. Calling it to try listen from the bathroom to hear if it rings is pretty stupid. "I'm sorry, but as soon as it went in the toilet, it was a goner..." "But can't you DO ANYTHING?!?!?" By attempting to call it, you have a plausible "it's gone", rather than having to explain to them why dunked electronics are typically done-for the instant they splash.
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Dec 22, 2008 18:17
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KING EGG posted:
This is an utterly ridiculous situation. I can't imagine myself feeling so entitled that I can just subvert the rules of my organization at my will. If Desktop Support (I work in the IT department, so I can't refer to them as just IT) comes and tells me that I have a new laptop on the way, I will immediately start packing up the old one to hand back. I will not be attempting to find room in my bag so I can take my old laptop home as a free gift. I'm glad I don't work where you do, otherwise, I'd be forced to kill just to retain my sanity.
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Jan 13, 2009 15:52
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about crazy people who feel entitled to company property.
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ProjektorBoy posted:Not so much a ticket coming in as a mega WTF I found in my ticketing system the other day when doing some emergency relief for another line of business. Mind you, I work for one of the nations largest financial corporations. Sup, Remedy buddy. We used to have a Category Class Item combo of Other, Miscellaneous, User Error, but being a publicly-funded institution, they decided that it wasn't PC enough, and just dropped it from our definitions.
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Jan 31, 2009 03:28
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nene posted:More email stupidity I had a caller once request a vacation rule that trashed every e-mail received with a reply that it has been trashed for the week she was going on vacation.  Idiot user Me 's supervisor Can you help me set up a vacation rule? I'm going to be out of town next week. Sure. Just click Tools, then Rules, and then click the 'New' button. Ok, now what? Ok, now enter a title that makes sense to you. This is just so you can keep track of it. Ok. And I see where I'm supposed to put the reply message. Yep, if you want it to auto-respond, just put the text you want them to see in that box. Ok. I put in "Your message has not been read, and has been deleted. If you need to e-mail me, please do so after [returning date]". Now, how do I make it delete everything that comes in while I'm gone? ... I'm sorry, you want to delete everything that comes in while you're gone and respond with a message that it's been deleted? Yes. Is there a problem with that? Well, I'm just not so sure it's the best thing. What if it's something important? Well, they can just send it again after I get back. I'm not sure people are going to be so keen on doing that. (getting agitated) I don't care. I just don't want a lot of e-mail cluttering up my mailbox when I get back. Umm... ok. You click Action, then Delete and Empty, and that will dump them as soon as they come in. Ok, that will work great. Thanks! [click]3 days later... Did you help set up this vacation rule? [ticket tracking] Yeah, I thought it was kind of weird, but she was pretty insistent. It's ok. We just wanted to make sure that it was what she really wanted. Yep, she specifically asked for a rule that deletes everything and informs them that the message has been tossed. Ok, thanks. [click]2 days later... Account deletion request from . Remove all access for due to employee termination.
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Feb 2, 2009 18:57
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Midelne posted:I like this story. I also fielded the delete request. It took me a second to make the connection, but there was quite a hearty laugh had by me. Granted, I don't know for 100% sure that the "To hell with everyone sending me e-mail" vacation rule, but it's a pretty safe bet.
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Feb 3, 2009 02:27
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KING EGG posted:This hasn't happened to me at work, but it happens to me at home all the time. I'm guessing it happens to you too. About 2 years ago, this was how all computer-related conversations with my FIL went. When I finally railed about it for 2 hours in the car to my wife, he started actually looking at things and getting real information when he has a problem. Now, if I can just get him to stop being a 'Mad Clicker'* * A 'Mad Clicker' is the person that, when you tell them 'Click Start', they click Start, All Programs, Accessories, System Tools, Character Map and wonder why they're not getting to where you needed them to.
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Feb 6, 2009 15:23
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Choadmaster posted:The funny thing is, there are some shady online dealers (there's one company in particular who I can't remember at the moment; they change their name and URL once a month or so when they start getting a reputation) that advertise insanely low prices on camera bodies but use all sorts of tactics to scam a profit off stupid people. Generally they require customers to call to confirm their order, and then they force them over the phone into buying accessories at a disgustingly large markup (it they can't tack on enough to make a profit, they'll just outright cancel the order or tell you they're suddenly out of stock). My friend gets customers coming in all the time with printouts from those sites asking him to match the price... He tries to explain they're scammers but he's rarely listened to. The best part is that at least once a month or so one of those people comes back to the store for free support; they always have a whole pile of equipment that they happily say only cost $X online, where $X is a few hundred bucks more than what they'd have spent on the same equipment in the store. These shady guys are all over eBay, and it's pretty ridiculous. I came across them a lot when I was looking for my DSLR (Sony A100). They always had prices that were at least $100 below even the best of the REAL online retailers (B&H, Adorama, etc), and $150-200 below in-store retail. Then I started really reading the postings and saw how scammy they are. When a retailer advertises a camera as 'body only', they mean: The camera body and all accessories (including battery) that come in the box direct from the manufacturer. When the scammy seller says 'body only' they mean: The camera body and ONLY the camera body, plus manuals and (if you're lucky) software. Want a battery? Sure, that's $50 for the non-OEM battery made in southeast Asia by a 4-year-old with a hunchback. Oh, you want the OEM battery (that should have come in the package)? Well, that's another $120. Charger? Well, that's a different story. The third-party charger made by the battery builder's younger brother costs $45. But if you want the actual manufacturer charger, those are another $110. And so on. Anyway, that's completely beside the point of this thread, so I'll end my rant there.
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Feb 20, 2009 14:10
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Midelne posted:Fire them, they will never be productive members of the information technology world. This. This is one of the most basic things that anyone who gets paid to support users should know. It's simple, basic, common sense. If the person didn't have that, they should NEVER support anyone's computer, EVER.
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Feb 20, 2009 17:32
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chutwig posted:Somebody's password comes up for reset: With all of it's other pitfalls and political bullshit, this is where healthcare really shines for support personnel. We have government requirements that compel us to force all users into an appropriate password policy. Granted, we're not as tight as we'd like to be, but it was always fun effectively telling Dr. So And So that he could gently caress right off (in much less coarse terms, of course), and that no, he could not just use 'password' as his password. When they bitch, we simply throw the HIPPA sheets at them, which shuts them right up. People like to push the issue with things because they know that they can generally get what they want if they say the right things/talk to the right people. With government regulations, there is nobody else to talk to, and nothing they can say. HIPPA, with all of it's inane requirements, saved me about 30% of my HelpDesk stress level when we started moving to it.
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Feb 23, 2009 19:50
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Password policy is hard. I dream of someday working in a company where IT is actually empowered and doesn't have to default on policies because of high-level users who can get you fired if you don't do every little thing they demand.
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I have to say, after reading your full post, it appears that your firing supervisor was telling you to go for that job. It's a pretty safe bet that people had gotten annoyed, and your case had been heard by a person superior enough that your immediate supervisor had to do something. But knowing that you were an asset to the company, they were attempting to help you get into a position where you could do well for yourself and the company.
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Feb 23, 2009 20:25
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Sister Miyagi posted:I'm supposed to leave the computer on all goddamned weekend so you can push an update out at 3am on Sunday? Bullshit. I still maintain a good part of my tuition goes to the energy costs associated with, say, leaving 60 campus labs with an average of 30 computers each (not counting administration, who have their own computers, here) on 24/7. We have 15,000 workstations (not including laptops). The only way we can do maintenance on all of them is if they never shut them down, because we need to spread the maintenance window across the entire night. Though, the BOFH part of my brain gets a real kick out of the idea of knocking everyone off of their machines for an hour at noon on a weekeday.
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Mar 6, 2009 14:31
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BigKOfJustice posted:Dells business support is decent for what you get. Much better than the consumer dell support since it's all us based. This is why, when anyone asks for my advice and is leaning toward a Dell, I encourage them to buy a business model. For that very reason. The support is so much better, even for the basic with-purchase that you would get as a consumer.
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Mar 20, 2009 00:26
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TokenBrit posted:Ah, just remembered one. A user phoned me up with a GREAT IDEA! The internet connection at the office is 100Mbps, his home internet connection is a mere 512Kbps. Would it be OK to VPN in and take advantage of the faster internet connection at evenings and weekends when nobody is in? Ahh, the understanding gap. When I was on the HelpDesk, during the first big rollouts of cable internet (many people still had to have a dialup connection for the upstream), I had a user call and ask if we planned on 'upgrading' to cable modem internet 'because it's so fast'. I work in a University Medical center. At the time, we had roughly OC-48 equivalent bandwidth. "I can assure you, ma'am, our connection is MUCH faster than anything you could get at the consumer level..."
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Mar 23, 2009 18:08
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Kaso posted:You guys in this thread might appreciate the new The Website is Down episode, "Excel Hell" - http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/ Wow... That dude is a conglomeration of all of my worst customers from my HelpDesk days. I'll have to keep that site in my regular rotation, never hit it before.
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Mar 24, 2009 14:03
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Accipiter posted:You actually give this as advice? In many cases, it's better than trying to explain to the users why you simply can't block every spam message. By giving them that, you're making them feel like they're doing something about the problem, and it gets them off your back for at least that call. Unfortunately, there are some that won't simply accept the idea of spam and want you to do something about every single message. They'd like you to read through their mail for them, but then they don't want you to see their e-mail. It's a vicious cycle and one of the top 10 reasons I don't do HelpDesk anymore.
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Mar 24, 2009 19:30
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llibja posted:Not a ticket I received, but this was called into our help desk this morning: Fix it, of course. I'm surprised you need to ask. Obviously this guy has a problem that is even the least bit incidentally related to a device that functions by way of leveraging electronic principles, thereby making it wholly IT's business. If you can't get your head around this, then you need to reconsider your career options.
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Mar 27, 2009 14:55
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Midelne posted:...at least she's clicking "No" on popups? This is a symptom of user education for using the web. When I taught my FIL to get on, the first thing I told him was "Don't ever click 'yes' on anything that pops up randomly" (this was before popup-blockers and adblock got really good). Unfortunately, it seems that this individual took it too far and clicks 'No' for everything.
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Apr 1, 2009 14:50
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CitizenKain posted:Our webfilter updated one evening and decided that wikipedia wasn't work related anymore and blocked it. I had 4 voicemails, a couple of tickets, a change request and a direct call from a higher up by the time I got in to change it. Actually, a study was just released recently showing that locking down all non-essential web content is actually counter-productive. People that have time to surf/chat/do whatever online during their work hours (up to 20% of their time, on average) are overall more productive than those who sit and do only work for their entire shift.
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Apr 8, 2009 17:05
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Midelne posted:Weirdest goddamn day today. There are a very precious few people who will actually understand a well-written and informational message and act appropriately, even if the answer is no. Cherish this person. Unless, of course, she asks again in the very new future. Then, I suggest a sledgehammer.
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Apr 17, 2009 00:05
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Yaos posted:The ticket you posted can't be real, he did not blame IT for changing all of his passwords every day. You're kidding right? IT is responsible for everything from changing passwords against peoples' will to impregnating users' cats. We're always out to 'get' them, and we all have secret stuff that works 10,000x better than the piece of poo poo we stick them with at their desk. And we all have direct network connections to 100Gbit pipes in our homes and wirelessly to our brain, paid for by the company. You'd be amazed at the amount of IT paranoia there is in the regular user ranks.
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Apr 24, 2009 21:09
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Delicious Sci Fi posted:But she is also a bitch to everyone in IT because her husband is a programmer and she thinks she knows everything about computers because of this. I'd find it so hard to fight against the urge to tell her something like: "Well, programmers have a tendency not to know dick about the inner workings of their own institutions. What makes you think you're husband knows poo poo about ours?"
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Apr 27, 2009 19:58
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HatfulOfHollow posted:This. It's always this. Secretaries for higher-ups are always self-important bitches. How do you think she got the job to begin with?
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Apr 29, 2009 13:45
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Armacham posted:with the free rape added in that's a pretty good deal. See, what they don't tell you is that the price of the rape is already built in. You're not actually getting it free.
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Apr 29, 2009 17:30
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hunto posted:"I have noticed that the clocks on the phones are roughly 1.5 minutes apart from the clocks on the PC's. Please fix this" When my previous manager was being a serious douche about being on time, this was really frustrating as our phones read about 5 minutes ahead, and time-stamp voicemail messages the same way. That policy got dropped quickly when she realized that yes, everyone was on-time all the time, but less work got done (because nobody stayed even 1 second beyond 8 hours). Amazing how much more work got done when we were treated like professionals.
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May 14, 2009 18:07
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CitizenKain posted:"Ok, I'll call them." People still try to bluff with that these days? Craziness. Whenever someone threatened to go over my head to subvert policy, I always called them on it by connecting them to the person they threatened with them on the call.  Hi, Director. I have Idiot User here on the line that would like an exception to <insert institution-wide policy here>. That's easy. No. But, but... Anything else? Not from me, Idiot User? N...N... no, thanks. No problem. *click*
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May 20, 2009 20:09
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Richard Noggin posted:I forwarded the email to my boss, who wrote her a nice email saying that we simply don't have the time/resources to do hourly work. Fast forward to yesterday, and I get another email from her. This is another symptom of IT work. Once you do something for someone once. You own it. Forever. I still get called for projects I worked on almost 10 years ago that were supposed to have been decommissioned at least 2 years ago. I'm sure that, if I ever leave here, 5 years down the road, someone will track me down for something I worked on when I first started here.
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May 27, 2009 16:03
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Crowley posted:Somehow people gasp when I mention post-its and monitors. As if it was their personal little secret. "You looked under my keyboard?!"
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Jun 1, 2009 20:08
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Midelne posted:I think that's part and parcel of it being worrisome that the device can produce the credit card number at all. What's the popular guess, stored plaintext or stored with reversible encryption? You could still do it one-way hash if you had a separate field in the db to hold the old hash. When the user requests the reset (or however the procedure worked), it would verify against the original hash, and then set a new hash in the regular password field once they reset it.
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Jun 19, 2009 19:04
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Midelne posted:You're not taking my Maker's Mark. We have a dance after my exam tonight and you are not cutting in. As well, you'll get my Old Peculier when you pry the bottles from my cold dead hands.
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Jun 19, 2009 23:09
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Guy Axlerod posted:lol@clownpenis.fart That's still one of the greatest SNL bits of all time. Can't wait for the ICANN generic TLDs to start rolling out. Whoever buys .fart will have business for life.
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Jul 2, 2009 04:47
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