A ticket came in...

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > A ticket came in...

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

"Greg so and so in sales doesn't have an email address, I can't find it on the system."

Me: "Greg who?"

User: "The new guy in sales."

Me: "How new? When did he start?"

User: "Today."

:ughh:

# ¿ Jun 22, 2009 21:26

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 19:11

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Not an rear end in a top hat user by any means, but another :wtf:

moment (this thread is oddly cathartic).

User comes by my desk. Can't get on the VPN, doesn't know his network password.

He's been here for 4 weeks.

I tell him that his network password is what he uses to log into his notebook every day.

He responds that he's never had to enter a password. "I just open up my notebook and start working".

I of course respond that that is impossbile. He assures me he's never had a password prompt.

"So nothing when you first start your PC? Resume it from sleep?"

Nope.

"Nothing when you open Outlook? Nothing when you open Sharepoint?" - thinking that perhaps my coworker had just given him a notebook and not bound it to the domain.

Nope!

He's leaving now without his notebook, so I reset his network password and plan to check out his notebook later to see this for myself. He tells me he has an Excel document saving, but it's "taking a long time".

So I check out his notebook. Sure enough, Excel is not responding. Probably something to do with a spreadsheet consisting of ~300 worksheets, each worksheet with thousands of rows of data. On a 1.5 gig Vista notebook. Excel was consuming 800megs by itself.

After 15 minutes, Excel finishes and after another 5 minutes it ends the shutdown process.

So I close the lid. Open it back up. Domain ID/password prompt.

:psyduck:

# ¿ Jun 23, 2009 20:00

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

coyo7e posted:

"Hi, can you add Margret X to our grant's email list? Her address is margretblah@yahoo.com"
No problem, she's been added.
"She's still not receiving emails! You screwed everything up ARGH!"
Nope, she's right there.
"Well Margaret is here today and she's not receiving emails YARGH!"
.... Okay, I think I found the problem, try now.
*fast-forward two weeks*
"Hi again, Margaret is STILL having problems, she can't log in to her computer (even using the default password everyone gets, we tried that!) and hasn't been able to do so since she started with us two weeks ago.
(wth!? how do you let something like this slip for two weeks?!) Uhh, is this person an employee?
Yes, we hired her two weeks ago, remember when I sent the email asking you to make her account?
Err, you don't have the authority to request accounts.
WELL YOU SAID YOU MADE HER AN ACCOUNT FOR ME WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?!

...Followed with three hours of people in their department ccing the support box with accusations of us being incompetent, until I finally forwarded the (misspelled name included) original request, which said "add her yahoo account to our group's email list."

On top of it all, the supervisor wants her to have an internal email address, despite telling his peon exactly the opposite two weeks ago.

Oh believe me, get that all the time. Luckily not with the drama though.

"Can you add her external email to our DL?"

Me: "Sure. She doesn't need an ID?"

Nope.

*two weeks later*

SHE CAN'T LOG IN TO THE VPN CAN YOU RESET HER PASSWORD

# ¿ Jun 24, 2009 00:29

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

coyo7e posted:

Good American beer does leave the US, and often beats out European brews at their own competitions, from the awards on half the stuff I see on the shelf at the market and according to multiple articles I've read on the subject from respected outlets. poo poo, even Pabst Blue Ribbon got its name by beating out European lagers at the Chicago World's Fair, iirc.

When I go to the liquor store and buy a cheap imported bottle of vodka, I don't assume that everyone in Russia drinks the same cheap imported poo poo I'm using to remove paint.

It was pure hyperbole to say that good American beers never leave the US, most likely spoken from a position of ignorance - which has now been allayed.

Jesus loving christ.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2009 16:49

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Part-time user hired in Sept couldn't get through the VPN. Yes, the ticket came in this morning.

She was wondering if she needed a different password, as the password to her home PC wasn't working.

Oh, her home PC password is blank. So she really doesn't have a password. Her non-password wasn't being accepted as a network password to our system for some reason.

She was wondering if she needed a *** password. I assume the 3 initials meant our companies abbreviation - assumed, as ours is 4, and her attempt at 3 was misspelled.

:ughh:

(And yes, documentation was given. And ID/pass were forwarded to her manager when she was hired, her manager may have never given it to her but really - you're surprised the key to your liquor cabinet doesn't open your safety deposit box at the bank?)

# ¿ Nov 20, 2009 14:12

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

MJP posted:

Wanna trade? Ours is a mandatory bowling game at a bowling alley that doesn't serve liquor.

It gets better, all employees had to submit a Bowling Skills Assessment Form to HR describing their bowling experience, physical condition, sports enthusiasm level, etc. That determined who got paired with whom. No more than two people from the same division (sales, IT, sewing, etc.) could be on one team.

Ah yes, the proper approach to holiday festivities - ENSURE THE STRONG ARE NOT PAIRED WITH THE WEAK

# ¿ Dec 9, 2009 15:46

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Ryouga Inverse posted:

You don't understand, he's going to be out of the country for the next two weeks and needs his away message activated. Otherwise, email will go unanswered.

Yes, but you're missing the fact that it will be for the next two weeks.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2010 01:46

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Farking Bastage posted:

At least your helpdesk isn't manned by dumbfucks like this:

Click here for the full 1245x670 image.

Trying to print a PDF, gets "stacking error"...I think, I usually only speak retard after 5 beers and I'm not there yet.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2010 01:47

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Derpes Simplex posted:

MDT is free and SCCM integration is optional...

edit: am I correct in thinking that MDT is kind of like an SCCM-lite? If so, I may very well be sold on it.

Eh, not really. MDT is basically for rapidly deploying images, while SCCM of course incorporates images as well it's far more comprehensive. SCCM is what you would use to manage your clients after they've been deployed.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 02:34

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Incoming ticket:

quote:

Request for Blue Tooth please.
Thanks!

...that's it.

Sorry miss, we're all out of 802.15.1-2002.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 19:50

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

teethgrinder posted:

You know she means a headset to sync to her cellphone. You're just being difficult.

I didn't actually respond to her with that for fucks sake. I explained that bluetooth was a wireless standard and asked what she actually needed connected. This time, yes indeed it was a headset (she actually provided the model in the reply which also helps)

We've had requests for bluetooth mice, keyboards, and adapters so people can sync their BB's to their desktop. Assuming "bluetooth=wireless headset" and running out to purchase one immediately would be pretty damned stupid.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 20:06

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

teethgrinder posted:

I apologise for not adding a little winky smilie face to that and apparently ruining your day. I'll buy you a drink?

What kind of drink, specify goddamit

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 20:13

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Doctor Zero posted:

A user showed up!

My phone died and I went to the phone store and got a new one but they couldn't figure out how to sync my contacts to my mac.
What did you get?
an iPhone!
Oh well then I can do that, easy! Do you have your cable with you?
Nope.
Well no problem, I have mine here, let's go take care of that!
yay!

...

it's a droid and you can't sync contacts to Mac.

Well it's technically "possible", but something tells me that if the enduser can't tell a Droid from an iPhone...

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 21:05

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

couldcareless posted:

No internet, no contact info. Good luck

It's right there. North America.

Start dialin'

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 21:05

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Please note that I attempted to post in order to post a response to your reply; however my PC disfunctionality manifested itself by failing to function.

Please contact me by contacting the contact information in the included information packet below, would greatly appreciate your assistance which would be great.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2011 19:59

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Jazzahn posted:

A ticket came in...

I preserved the formatting because, well it just details how insane this person is.

Welp that's a ticket all right.

We will need updates of course.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2011 19:07

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Ridge_Runner_5 posted:

No, user, I will not walk you through, over the phone, how to hook your keyboard and mouse up to your laptop.

How do these people even manage to put their pants on in the morning? Then again, they are a work at home. Maybe they can't?

I can't imagine how that would even work.

Email: "Plug the mouse and keyboard into the USB slots. The only ones that will accept the connector."

"Sorry I don't get it, could you call me."

Phone: "Plug the mouse and keyboard into the USB slots. The only ones that will accept the connector."

"OH OK THANKS"

# ¿ Nov 9, 2011 21:22

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

AlexDeGruven posted:

Lucky you. Our Win7 deployment isn't even set to BETA until Q4'12.

That's right. Right around the time Win8 hits GA, we'll be starting to seriously think about the potential deployment of Win7.

poo poo seriously pisses me off.

Try the Win8 Dev preview before you say that.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2011 21:23

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 19:11

Happy_Misanthrope: Aug 3, 2007; "I wanted to kill you, go to your funeral, and anyone who showed up to mourn you, I wanted to kill them too."

Sniep posted:

If you're going to post Win 3.x, you've got to post it in the pro-est color scheme!

God that was awful. Can't wait to see what future will bri-

# ¿ Nov 15, 2011 19:59

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