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Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

coyo7e posted:

Am I the only person in this thread who sees laptops as being made for people to take on and offsite?

We've got easily 100-125 laptops, most of which are made to be transported around by scientists, taken offsite to do assessments, or they're used for telecommuting to a greater or lesser extent. They're generally stored in cheap cabinets with laughable locks on the doors, or they're simply left stacked on someone's desk in their office, in the back of an assessor's car, etc.

We have had laptops stolen from the facility. We've had laptops simply get "misplaced." We had one woman have her laptop stolen out of her hands while she was sitting on a park bench, working on a white paper! These all happened in the few years I've worked here.

So yeah, I do consider leaving a post-it stuck to a laptop to be a major potential security risk.


Problem is, Our laptops can and do have medical information on them. To reduce the chance of that data being stolen and used we have all kinds of poo poo enabled on ours.

They are locked to our SSID, but people who travel have a local account set up on them so they can use other wireless.

They all have either a contactless smartcard + a pin or fingerprint enabled as a bios lock.

They all have encrypted HDD's requiring a username and password

Then another username.password for XP

Then another UN/PW for their apps.

I spend a lot of time holding hands on these loving things, but it's the way it is.

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Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Here's a pretty good look at the IQ of our middle "manager".

quote:

If the tech’s work late they still need to clock in and out prior to 6 PM. OT still has to be approved if working over 40 hours for one week , Sun-Sat. More than 8 hrs can be achieved in one day, but the tech’s needs to work less than 8hrs on another day to combine a total of 40 hrs for one week.

:psyduck: Needless to say, he generally suffers a stack overflow under the strain of a couple of technical terms a minute to the point where he just glazes over. Everything has to be explained to him in small easily digestable ( for a three year old ) chunks.

He's also a pushover to everyone outside our group and is the very definition of a yes man. But he shits on us every chance he gets. GO figure

Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Feb 5, 2010

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
I've used remedy, and it was average. Thank whatever Diety you acknowledge that you're got getting CA Unicenter. It's a pile of dog poo poo on a stick in every way, plus it costs half a million without the asset tracking module.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
^^ you and me both. You can tell how lovely of a day I had at work by how many pages of the CCNA book I go through at night.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
User profile Documents ( documents and settings\username\my documents or users\username\documents (vista/7) can be redirected as well. They won't even know it.

Call me wierd, but I would use roaming profiles with snapshots enabled if I could. Then when a profile gets hosed up instead of setting everything back up for them just restore the ntuser.dat and app data from a snapshot and keep their documents/favorites/etc intact.

Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Feb 6, 2010

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
First thing this morning. Network problem. Apparently our Janitors hooked a couple of patch cables to a golf cart or maybe a monster truck and pulled them hard enough to pop all the snapjacks loose, break the faceplate, and partially rip out the junction box in the physician's lounge.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Best way to have your issue put at the BOTTOM of my list:

Call Helldesk and put in a call at 9:45 AM. I get paged on it while out on the floor. Have me paged overhead at 9:47AM. Page me via pager at 9:48 AM, I get back to my desk at 9:51AM and there's an email and a voicemail from you. Your monitor being blurry on a shared PC that no one else complains about but you will be looked at sometime betewwn the hours of 10A and 5P......2017

gently caress you right between your wrinkly sagging self-important pissflaps you goddamned crone.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
I should have gotten a picture of it. The jacks were in a 4-way faceplate screwed to an internal plastic junction box. The insulation on the patch cables was yanked about 4 inches off the RJ45. At the angle they pulled it, the retainer clips wedged up under the terminators, but they put enough force on it the snap the faceplate in two and partially pull the junction box through the sheetrock.

The PC that was connected to was on basically a desk on wheels and it looked like they probably tried to roll the desk away to clean, then got pissed off and snatched the desk out of the way with an amount of force slightly lower than a Hulk Smash then left lying in tatters. Broke the loving onboard NIC on the pc too. Fuckers.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
WHy hello there, worthless helldesk person.



Misspelled printer name when she was mapping it. Our helpdesk is actually too loving dumb/lazy/incompetent/retarded/asleep/high/drunk/braindead/zombies/etc to help a user map a loving network printer.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
They make more than the desktop people.
We are not allowed to kick tickets back.
Their manager doesn't hold them accountable for poo poo.
The director over desktop and helldesk is too busy throwing desktop under a bus to give a gently caress what the helldesk does.


I drink a lot.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
I am soon as they poo poo-can someone.

e: I'd do it just to make the rest of them look that much shittier when my call resolution rate would be pushing 90% and theirs averages around 50.

Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Feb 8, 2010

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
That's true to an extent, but I wrote the majority of their knowledge base that they don't use now, so I would have that fact to fall back on.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Dick Trauma posted:



You may be able to get a good enough grip on it with a suction cup tile lifter.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Dick Trauma posted:

One was an eighteen year old APC unit with the original battery. It was so old I didn't recognize the logo because it was from before their red letter "APC" ones.


You probably needed a crowbar to pry that swollen husk of a battery out of that fucker.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Speaking of desktop UPS'es, those old APC 650's are loving bulletproof. Back when I did field service for a national pizza chain, I've pulled those fuckers out of puddles of pizza sauce, grime, sweet tea, general nastiness and they still work. Just pop a battery in them every once in a while and they are good.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
SPeaking of tickets..



The Helldesk was too lazy to tell a customer to hold the loving shift key down when logging out to bypass loginedit :psyboom::psyboom::psyboom::psyboom:

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
It's been documented to them in knowledge base and emails for about a year with constant reminders. This guy just doesn't give a gently caress, yet they won't fire him.

Our autologin accounts are in an OU that gets the no internet access GPO which forced us to tell the users how to get around autolog. I wasn't happy about that, but it's understandable since you never know when a DR needs to look something up and the nearest machine is autolog.

e: I know I am pretty hard on them but I cut my teeth doing helpdesk for some pretty large clients (I.E. Alcoa, Citrix Systems, etc) and we were expected to fix anything that wasn't a component failure or a big outage over the phone, RDP, or MSRA. If a ticket went up, it was to contain troubleshooting steps pointing towards a machine failure or an outage. This crowd here doesn't even try to make a loving effort.

Farking Bastage fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Feb 9, 2010

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

TheRealLuquado posted:

So we have a client who kicked her PC, and boned the hard drive. Sent it off to a recovery company who charged us $800.00, and provided us with a dvd of 2 gigs of files, hundreds of them, NONE OF WHICH ARE OPENABLE. every file they "recovered" on this disc is corrupted. Providing us with a list of the files in a tree format is one thing, but I would not call that recovery, nor would I pay $800.00 for it. This is hte point at which the recovery company has stopped responding to our emails and phone calls.

Fine whatever. Sent her a cart with a new dell to replace her old one. She did the ordering, not us. We had sent her a cart with a pc loaded with XP.

She uses this computer for 3 weeks before coming out and asking us why the PC doesn't have Vista on it. Apparently she prefers "the way Vista looks". Is there Vista on this machine? no it's a Win7/xp downgrade, and she doesnt want Win7, only Vista. SO now I have to go to one of our other clients, swipe a Vista recovery CD from them, then go to her place, load her machine into a suitcase, and take it home to work on, since I am not allowed to be in the building after 6 and she won't let us in to work on it before 5:30. Im in NYC by the way, so I get to lug this thing across 3 subway transfers and a 5 block walk hom since I don't own a car.

But I love my job, I really do.



If she didn't already have Vista, you can usually get by with the the old " you have software that will not run on Vista. We have not tested Vista and therefore are unable to support Vista. maybe.. depending on the caliber of bitch you are dealing with.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Oh where's SImon Travaglia when you need him to "upgrade" her to a P2 with 128 running XP

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Dick Trauma posted:

I am one of those freaks that likes to see what the updates are before they are applied, and test them on less critical servers. I've had bad experiences in the past with unscreened updates and can't stand seeing them go through without oversight.

This is the way to go. There's no setup bulletproof enough to not be eventually broken by a Microsoft update. Test what they put out then push it via SMS. We have auto MS updates disabled in GPO.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

There is absolutely no reason to go through that much trouble.

It does in a healthcare environment where IT is the MD's collective bitch.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
These newer optiplex's are giving me poo poo today. They started sending us Optiplex 380's now with the newer fully graphic BIOS that reports itself as A00. Here's what's going on.

I fire up the machine And install XP from scratch, update it and build all our software packages. I run SYS Prep and enable detect plug and play hardware, Use mini setup and reseal it. Once it comes up, I boot it off a ghost disk with the appropriate NDIS network driver for that machine and capture the disk image.

On every other peice of hardware we have, once you push that image XP mini setup starts detects the plug and play( including the KB/mouse) then goes on through it's sys prep script and faithfully comes up as a fresh XP box. However, these mother fuckers aren't detecting the keyboard/mouse in sysprep and I can't figure out why for the life of me.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
No dice ^^

There's not an updated BIOS from Dell yet to flash these fuckers either.

It takes a poo poo on my KVM as well as a separate KB/mouse. I really don't feel like building this image from scratch for a third time.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
This is hosed up. It works fine in the BIOS. It works fine in Ghost, but in XP mini setup nothing responds. No available BIOS updates from Dell on these either.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

monkeybounce posted:

Try adding this to your Sysprep.inf under [SysprepMassStorage]. (It's been awhile since I used Ghost, but I think you can just use Ghost Explorer instead of building a new image.)

code:
   *pnp0303=C:\windows\inf\keyboard.inf  
   *pnp0f03=C:\windows\inf\msmouse.inf 
   *pnp0f0b=C:\windows\inf\msmouse.inf 
   *pnp0f0e=C:\windows\inf\msmouse.inf 
   *pnp0f12=C:\windows\inf\msmouse.inf 
   *pnp0f13=C:\windows\inf\msmouse.inf

How far down in SYSprep does that section go? If it's after certain other headings it may not be processed.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
For whatever reason, it's holding on to whatever hardware that the image was built with. If I hook a machine to the same KVM port with the same KB/Mouse it doesn't give me any trouble, but if you use different peripherals and ghost that image in..Nothing.

This is the first Optiplex model that's even given me this much poo poo.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
What's really funny about all this with ghost bullshit.. I don't have access to the loving server. I have to ask someone to start up a session for me. I was consulted on how to make it work more efficiently, and I build images, and I had to teach the guy who does have access to it how to use Ghost explorer, what ghost explorer is, how to to remote client pushes, etc etc etc etc. It's also the same folks who won't let me touch the AD, but I had to teach one of the guys on my team with the access to it how to kick a machine off the domain.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
The pediatric ICU hasn't had any video surveillance all weekend because a PC that runs the cameras, that's not even ours, that we are not allowed to touch, was sitting on our equipment cart this morning. Apparently, someone called the helldesk this weekend about the machine having problems ( it boots up and runs fine all he had to do was reboot it ) and Richard took it upon himself to pull it out of its cabinet and put it in our room.

The ticket attacked to it doesn't have any information on it like WHERE HE GOT IT FROM, WHO'S IT IS, AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT. It took us all morning to figure out where the stupid bastard got it from since he's off today.


JCHAO would ream us over that.


Our loving idiot manager, after it taking me around 15 minutes to explain to him why this is a big deal, what a computer looks like, what JCHAO is, etc etc, loving shrugged it off.

If one of us has hosed that up, security would already be here escorting people from the building.


Funny thing, There's a helldesk position open at another house for about a 5$ an hour raise. I'm applying for that fucker. Nothing like downskilling to get a raise :)

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

CitizenKain posted:

My mind is blown that an entry level position pays better then one were actual knowledge is required, but that someone can have a job with no responsibilities.

Mine was too, to the point of repeatedly asking people WTF? The answer I got every time was a dejected " Welcome to < insert the name of my employer> ". It's never going to change around here, and I am looking.

Shame too, because it's not a terrible placed to work, just the IT management is on crack.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
One of three mutilated C5's today.



Nothing out of the ordinary for our nurses. They even loving broke a Panasonic H1.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
The department the device came from eats the 800 dollar screen replacement cost, which fucks their bonus. We have started making motion install gorilla glass as they break them. If they break that poo poo, I give up.

The H1 they smashed still worked. but they hit it hard enough on the edge of a steel table to break off a signifigant chunk of plastic off the exterior.

Maybe Fisher-Price tablets? hosed if I know. Of course I just got off a conference call with nursing managers bitching and whining about why I currently have 18 C5's out for repair. I'm getting poo poo-faced tonight.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
^^ Nothing like the folks who call you for help, then proceed to argue with you over the advice you give, then go apeshit. There's one in every company.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
We do on-call rotations here, but it's only supposed to be critical priority calls. John DickFace M.D.'s printer jamming is not a critical call when there's a MFD 5 feet away, but since our helldesk is that bad, I usually get called for it anyway. Of course if I don't respond, I'm immediately fired.

We used to get 2.5 hours for a callout in OT to cover travel time, but now, all that time is flexed out and we only get what's punched on the clock. gently caress this place.


We are changing out every timeclock in the company Saturday night from about midnight to whenever(probably 4AM), all that is to be flexed too. Again, gently caress this place.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Whee.. After-hours callout just to tell our McKesson Rep what a loving hosts file is.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
Has anyone ever customized the locked message on a machine that's being used via RDP?

Instead of it displaying " This machine is in use and has been locked by *username* " Have it display something different like "This computer has been locked by IT for maintenance" or something similar.

Any ideas?

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Dick Trauma posted:

Why didn't you help that person? :ohdear:

We always call these drive-by's. They suck and they can piss you off, but by all means help them out or point them to the person who can ( saying call the helpdesk does not count). If you can't do poo poo with it, tell them, but offer to either find out or ask the right people. That's just basic customer service there man.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
My boss's, whom I liked, last day was Friday. Day one of post cool boss, and everything sucks rear end. Mister dumbfuck manager who was his reason for leaving, should be loving something up in 3..2...1..

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!
I am veryveryveryvery close to being able to tell Hells pass hospital and their horrible management and their worthless helldesk to get hosed. I just knocked an interview for a desktop/account admin gig out of the park. :woop:

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Hawzy posted:

That's nothing, I work for a nonprofit and I still know of several places where we have Optiplex GX1's deployed. Running Windows 2000.

http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/ban_gx1/Specs.htm

We still have a couple hundred of these maxed out with a whopping 640 megs of RAM running XP SP3. The loving things JUST WONT DIE :suicide: Same with laserjet 4's

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Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007

Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengos!

Spermy Smurf posted:

Well I'll be damned. I checked online and it doesnt have IE8.


Guess who hosed up the image? Not me, the kid that works with me that is notorious for dumb poo poo like this.

Edit: He still swears up and down he didnt install IE8 since he should know by now that it doesnt loving work with a few of the sites we use.

20 bucks says he didn't uncheck IE8 when he ran windows updates. Microsoft will try to push that poo poo on you unless you tell windows update not to.


^^ Laserjet 3005's are the current king of the poo poo HP printers.