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Hi guys, I'm a level 1 tech for a large biosciences company in the San Diego area. I deal only with internal employees, which is great. It's a really good company and I'm working with a really good group of people. Someone mentioned the phenomenon where when they show up to a user's desk to fix an issue, the problem is magically solved. Well, apparently I've been training my skill enough and I've gained a new ability: Magical PC Fixes through the Phone.  : IT Help Desk, <Kuros> speaking how many I help you? : Hi <Kuros> my Outlook isn't working and it's been like this for a while... wait... I just got an email. : Ok, can you send me a test email to my email address? : Sure... let me know when you get it. : *waits a few seconds* Got it. : Thanks <Kuros>! : You're welcome!I follow this by raising my hands in the air and proclaiming "I have the power!"
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Jan 26, 2011 19:05
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go3 posted:you need to get this thought out of your head I completely agree with this statement. ErIog, they are burning you hard, you already have things squared away, I say pack up and get out of there.
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Jan 26, 2011 22:30
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  We really need to teach our users the purpose of our Priority system and why this isn't Priority 1. Priority 1 = poo poo is on fire! 
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Jan 28, 2011 01:04
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The Reaganomicon posted:Priority 1 tickets are supposed to automatically CC C-levels, no? It does go up to the IT director. I don't think it's set to hit the C-levels in my company. However, there are a ton of people who get a text message about the issue.
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Jan 28, 2011 01:27
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The Reaganomicon posted:Problem located! Priority 1 is poo poo C-levels should be tearing their hair out over, for real. It's what you call a server room on fire. If the C-level should not be immediately informed, it's not priority 1. Which is why I get annoyed with Priority 1 tickets such as the one I posted.
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Jan 28, 2011 04:21
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The Web team made major changes to the Intranet home page and people are spazzing out about it. I can see why though, some useful features seem to be missing, like desk locations when looking up someone by name.
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Feb 1, 2011 20:00
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devmd01 posted:Noon on a friday, I'm down with this. You just jinxed yourself, you just don't know it yet.
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Feb 4, 2011 17:50
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Laserface posted:A new employee started yesterday and has already logged FOUR TICKETS for having their password reset. Each time they have called (I spoke to them twice) they have required me to reset the password over 6 times until they can actually type it correctly. This doesnt include the 20min or so wasted explaining that OLD PASSWORD is the one I JUST GAVE THEM and they need to make sure they meet our password requirements when choosing a new one, followed by telling them to enter it again to confirm it (which is utterly pointless because from what I can gather this guy just loving outright sucks at spelling anything correctly) That reminds me of the guy who I had to show how to use a computer keyboard because he couldn't figure out his password after I reset it for him over the phone. He was hired on as a scientist. Anyway, recently I had to install Autonomy legal hold software on a few computers which ended up causing problems due to slowdown, plus I have to install the software individually on the computers. There's an updated version, but it isn't perfect and now the problem is that I just got a list of 50 people that they want this software installed on, which includes the President & CEO among other C-levels. Nothing like being that guy who installed the software that slows down your computer to a crawl at times!  On a humorous note, my co-worked called and asked for a "virgin" USB thumbdrive.  Do you want me to inspect her to make sure she's a virgin as she claims?Co-worker: Dude, I just need the drive for our CEO. Your terminology, not mine.
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Feb 11, 2011 01:23
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Moey posted:This needs to be a sign hanging from my door next to the "keep calm and turn it off and on again". Respond with: "Please tell Terri to use her hands when typing and not her face."
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Feb 11, 2011 23:39
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enotnert posted:a)It looks bad on my dads business to hang up rudely like that. I may work on computers for painful annoying work, but I do like the old service tow business and one day might end up taking it over (hell throw a computer repair in the back since everyone wants me doing that anyways, and welp, rednecks need computers too) Completely agreed with point B. Time is money and if you want me to look at your personal poo poo, you have to compensate my time. I take cash, various substances, barter and if you have a skill that would be of service to me, I'll consider that. I've done computer work for deep tissue massages and it was worth it. I hate the people who once they hear that I do IT work, they start to babble about their computer problems as if I have all of the answers and then expect me to fix them for free. My list of people that I will fix their computer for free and on a timely manner is very short. Edit: When I did in home repair, I charged $50/hour minimum 1 hour. This was before the economic downturn.
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Feb 15, 2011 00:33
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laratron posted:Wait wait wait, are these $20/30/50 hourly rates from people based in the US? I charge $150 for the first hour and $75 for every hour after that and I keep hearing my rates are cheap for here in Australia I'd imagine it has to due with the saturation of Craigslist "IT Professionals" in the USA.
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Feb 15, 2011 01:19
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thepaan posted:I used to live in California about an hour outside the bay area. The local PC store charged $75USD/hr, minimum 1hr. That was 10 years ago. A friend of mine that's an IT help desk manager at another company used to always get people asking if he would fix their personal computers. He would always quote the $200/hr minimum 1 hr rate. So far he hasn't had a taker.
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Feb 15, 2011 01:45
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afflictionwisp posted:Seriously, we should just chip in and give Moey the money to rename himself to Movey as suggested by other users.
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Feb 16, 2011 19:35
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Dick Trauma posted:P.S. Oh man she brought back steak fries and curly fries. Not only did you find an awesome job, but you just found your future wife!
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Feb 16, 2011 22:27
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kombatMedik posted:What I want to know how animals can be Asian. I wish there was something that expressed more  than stare itself. Maybe stare with the eyes popping out? Because that's my reaction to that whole image.
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Feb 17, 2011 19:23
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less than three posted:Catstare is more of an angry stare. Biowarfare posted:Something like a staring Exactly, stare with a head explosion would be the exact emoticon for the situation.
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Feb 17, 2011 19:45
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H2SO4 posted:You jackasses get paid for being oncall, huh? Quit complaining. I know how you feel. At my last job when I was on call, there was at least a minimum of 2 hours of work each day on the weekends as I'd have to check backups, check servers for errors, etc etc etc. Oh and the hundreds of texts I'd get if poo poo went to hell. Oh, and getting yelled at by my boss if I slept through the texts. Sorry I'm a deep sleeper. 
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Feb 21, 2011 19:39
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Dick Trauma posted:My primary PC is now a laptop with a dock and monitor so for the first time I have a dual monitor setup at work! I currently have a triple monitor setup at work.  It's great having SA on one screen, email on the second and my ticket queue on the third.
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Feb 25, 2011 20:09
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macado posted:A new employee we just hired barely has any grasp of the English language. Not saying that this is bad however me or someone in my group has had to reset his AD password at least 6 times since he has started and he has only been here two weeks. We also have 3 other systems here that use different passwords; We've also had to reset these. I had a guy like this, he couldn't figure out his password for the life of him so I scheduled a meeting to help him change his password. We meet near the community machines and I had just changed his password so when he logs in, it will force a password change. However, it seemed like he couldn't grasp the concept of a keyboard and I had to help him create a new password by hand. This is after helping him 5 times before with the same issue. He was hired into this company as a scientist. 
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Feb 28, 2011 19:46
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quote:Title: Phone Hold Music is making customers complain. Solution: Replace Jazz hold music with Death Metal hold music.
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Mar 1, 2011 20:21
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Moey posted:At least they admitted they did it. All of my users would say:  Yes, I personally sabotaged your computer so I could get yelled at, a bad review and more work to do.
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Mar 2, 2011 22:59
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I have never touched that in my life. You were fixing my computer 3 months ago, I bet you did it!
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seadweller posted:I once destroyed my work PC by causing static damage to the board which fried it (it was on at the time) good news was it was covered under a 3 year warranty bad news I had to make the phone call explaining what happened while my boss just laughed A long time ago in my High School's computer repair class, the teacher set a motherboard on fire by accident. I believe he swapped the power connectors on the AT mobo by accident.
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Mar 3, 2011 22:47
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quote:Title: Air conditioning is up too high Solution: "Get a drat sweater." *closes ticket*
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Mar 3, 2011 22:51
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stubblyhead posted:Uses electricity ==> IT's responsibility At my old job, this used to be true. poo poo, if a computer touched it, it was my responsibility. So many desks... so much moving... Now that I work in a place that has an actual facilities department, I can just direct people to them for stuff like coffee makers, desks and AC units.
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Mar 4, 2011 00:00
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afflictionwisp posted:Whoever had moved her into the office had remedied this by punching a hole through the drywall. Her laptop's power cable was plugged into a power strip on the other side of the partition. I didn't know that the Incredible Hulk did IT work.
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Mar 4, 2011 23:30
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Bardlebee posted:The phone rings The IT Director walks in... Hulk, do you have a minute? Sure, how can Hulk help you? Well, we are getting reports that while you are very technically sound, you have an issue with some of your people skills. Well, I'm sorry about that but you know, Hulk's condition. Plus there are the cases of you breaking phones... That can also be ex- No excuses Hulk, either you shape up or ship out. But, sir... No arguments Hulk! But, but, Hulk... RRRRAAAAGGGGHHHHH HULK SMASH! *Hulk throws the IT Director through the wall* HULK NEW BOSS! HULK DECREE CASUAL FRIDAY!
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Mar 4, 2011 23:49
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FISHMANPET posted:I had someone call last week that they had a "virus." Remote assistance revealed it was a fake site that displayed the Explorer layout and a fake pop-up blah blah blah. No problem, but I did need to update her anti-virus anyway, so I tell her to log off, I'll log in and fix it, and she can log in. We hang up, I watch in remote assitance, she shuts off, I call her back and tell her to turn the computer back on. It takes 10-15 minutes for me to get an RDP connection, and when I do, she's logged in. I've had that happen more than a few times.  Please log off of your machine so I can remote into it and install the software. Okay! *clicks Shut Down and walks off for 2 hours
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Mar 7, 2011 18:58
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Craptacular posted:No. I hate people using "ping" as a verb to replace "contact" too. This happens all the time at my work. I'm now saying it at times as well. Ugh.
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Mar 8, 2011 22:16
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HatfulOfHollow posted:You should probably talk to someone about your anger management issues. Ever find a way to stab someone in the face over the internet?
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Mar 8, 2011 23:14
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Oh end users and Altiris.  Ticket Title: <blank> User: <Insert Shared AD account here> Description: Fix computer plz Action: Assign ticket to myself and close it with the reasoning that there is no contact info. Ding goes my ticket count.
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Mar 11, 2011 21:18
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A ticket came in...quote:Title: My Keyboard melted Solution: How are you not dead yet because it seems that your patio is an oven. You should get that poo poo checked out. 
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Mar 14, 2011 16:07
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HalloKitty posted:I've had my keyboard melt while using it, and it was warm, sure, but not super-uncomfortable. Regardless, how does one not bother to take notice that their keyboard is melting?
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Mar 14, 2011 17:01
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Sharrow posted:An email went out This sounds interesting! Details, details!
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Mar 16, 2011 21:43
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Migishu posted:On the plus side, at least you didn't have to move anything. You just jinxed it. Moey is now going to have to move several 2u servers by hand. Good going. 
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Mar 21, 2011 21:27
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Currently EVERYONE at the company is as our Exchange servers are down. Guess who gets to handle the tickets and phone calls? This guy! *points two thumbs at himself* :iamafag: Edit: I'm now answering the phone with "Outlook is down, <Kuros> speaking."
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Mar 24, 2011 23:25
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My company signature is as follows: <Name> <Title> <Company> <Company Address> <Office Number> <Email> Not too bad, but many people fuss with theirs and put in Linked In info, various legalese, etc. etc.
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Mar 25, 2011 19:21
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Moey posted:Oh boy. I knew this was coming, but the email finally just came in. If only you had the powers of Multiple Man.
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Mar 30, 2011 16:21
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Accipiter posted:People like you suck rear end, just FYI. The "I use Linux" My co-worker is like this: Hey <A>, have you seen the new Windows slate computers? They look pretty cool. No, I use Linux *long drawn out sigh* I only asked if you had seen them, not your preference in operating system.As if going into the Microsoft or Apple store at the mall would cause her to combust and die. E: The Windows slate computers do look pretty awesome. I played with a couple the other day.
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Mar 30, 2011 18:16
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While we are on the subject of ringtones, my ringtone for my mom used to be Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden. *phone rings* 6-6-6 THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST... Friend: What the gently caress? Who's ringtone is that? Me: My mother's. 
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Apr 4, 2011 23:19
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| # ¿ Apr 20, 2024 12:52 |
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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:Respond with, "Tank u veary mooch!" Close ticket.
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Apr 6, 2011 15:58
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