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Nitr0 posted:Reported By Assignee Group Asset I'm going to guess it means they were using Remote Desktop when they wandered away from their computer, and that when they unlock their workstation they jump right into a Remote Desktop session that has also locked from inactivity. To contribute, the only entertaining one (?) I have for today: Ticket #1031, 9:31AM posted:receipt printer not working!!! Ticket #1032, 9:32AM posted:receipt printer not working!!! Ticket #1033, 9:32AM posted:receipt printer not working!!! Midelne fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Dec 2, 2008 |
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Dec 2, 2008 00:47
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sanchez posted:Even if they were great at their actual job? We only exist to allow them to work more effectively, if that includes loading paper, so be it. Pretty much this. Solving business problems with technology, hi-ho! On the other hand there does exist a point at which the people being helped are actively interfering with the ability of the IT department to accomplish anything meaningful in helping the rest of the company -- it's not too unreasonable to hope that someone would learn how to put paper in a printer rather than chew up an hour or two of a technician's time to drive out there, pull the tray with the big "2" on it open, and drop paper in the only place it fits. Well, maybe not the person who managed to submit the urgent ticket with the error message indicating that it was out of paper, but perhaps someone near the desk who is literate.
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Dec 4, 2008 15:39
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Commissar posted:Then later she said there was a problem with her password, but it's because she typed it incorrectly. I got a call this morning (that I later submitted on their behalf as a ticket for propriety's sake) that an office manager (the one that's the reason I carry a voice recorded on off-site calls and who has been very polite since being caught plain and simple in a complete fabrication about me to the CFO) is receiving an "account has been locked" notification. I explained that these usually result from too many failed login attempts and unlocked the account from their site's server while she swore up and down that she had definitely not attempted to log in prior to receiving the message. Also what the hell: SA Banner Ad posted:Www Awful Plastic Surgery Why yes, I sure need me some www awful plastic surgery! URL provided has "The Resource Guide for WWW Awful Plastic Surgery Lover" splashed on the front page.
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Dec 5, 2008 20:20
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Ashex posted:Actually, this isn't entirely unusual, a few months ago we had a string of events where users would just get locked out for no reason in particular, they would come into work in the morning and be locked out, or just be working and suddenly be locked out. Had to work with Microsoft directly to resolve the issue. This particular user has a habit of lying about verifiable things to IT. A bit after I posted, I checked the logs on her site's server out of curiosity and found eight failed logins for her user account on her workstation in her (closed and locked unless you are her with her key) office between 8:01:13AM and 8:03:56AM. She starts work at 8:00AM and called me at 8:15AM. I don't care if users get locked out -- poo poo happens, and it's even happened to me once, but why lie about it? It just makes things more difficult to diagnose and fix if it's even slightly complicated.
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Dec 5, 2008 21:10
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Theageofdust posted:I really wish the head of the company wouldn't forward me every "LOOK OUT IT IS A NEW VIRUS THAT WILL BLOW UP YOUR COMPUTER AND KICK YOUR DOG!" emails. With the exact same message. I usually reply with a Snopes link, since it's usually something that's been forwarded around for years. Yes, even to executives. Ticket of the day: quote:Hi, I need to install the able in order to take a class Called her back, wasn't answering the phone. Sweet.
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Dec 8, 2008 20:06
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dfn_doe posted:Working for a LARGE isp the tickets I encounter most frequently that betray the ignorance of the users are the ones where a user is complaining that their email to user@randomfuckingcompany.com is bouncing and that it must be a result of some sort of filtering we are obviously doing on their mail. Of course this complaint is immediately followed by a copy of the bounce message which clearly shows that the mail is bouncing because the destination mx server is reporting that the username doesn't exist. Our head of Sales was conditioned by our previous administrator to believe that anything IT told her was a lie. This was inconvenient at times. One such time involved a fairly expensive (for the amount of business this department does) website redesign with some Seattle graphic designers. It advertises the service that the department provides well enough, and has a little form for users to fill out if they want a quote on services since the range of service genuinely is wide enough to preclude putting pregenerated prices on the site. The form sends the data from hosting that we pay for to a script on the graphic design firm's home servers, which then sends it back to our mail server for delivery. I wasn't involved in the design process, don't ask. Once, no quotes came in for four days. It would be highly abnormal for even a single day to go by without a quote request, so this was cause for concern. We received an email or phone call every hour or so from either the district manager above the Sales department or the head of Sales demanding to know why email was "stuck in our server". When asked, we were told that the design firm had insisted that the problem was email getting stuck, and that the Sales department should demand that the IT department "unstick the email". I wish I'd been more familiar with Exchange back then -- it's harder to argue with timestamps and delivery logs than with a calm, simple explanation of why SMTP doesn't work that way. The head of Sales will still call every week or two and ask if there's any mail "stuck". I just quietly, gently lay my head on the desk and assure her that there's no inbound email stuck on our server this week either. And yes, I'm aware that there can be SMTP connection issues and delayed deliveries, but that would still leave the email on their mail server, not mine. :P
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Dec 12, 2008 17:58
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Ryokurin posted:Its essentially the same people who think that because they are an accountant, and you 'play with computers all day' is that they are more important than you or anyone else. If it makes you feel any better, I bought an accountant's old television off of Craigslist over the weekend. It was advertised as a slightly expensive price for a three or four year old 32" CRT television. I arrived and discovered that despite owning the latest and greatest in home theater gear he was apparently incapable of using a measuring tape, which is why I have a very cheap 48" television at home now. If you've never attempted to move a 48" CRT television, I cannot in good conscience highly recommend it.
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Dec 15, 2008 20:18
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guppy posted:God dammit you stupid motherfuckers I do not know how to fix everything electronic do not ask me why your TV is getting bad reception I swear to god I have received excellent results from blaming anything outside my area of responsibility (i.e. vague issues with CB radios that only occur on full moons that fall on a Thursday) on a combination of planetary alignment and the position of the stars. Ask them if they've tried using the TV during a phase when Mercury was ascendent and they'll probably never ask you to fix anything again. edit: boo_radley posted:Also people who can't grasp that IT has specializations in itself: I am a programmer, I can't really explain the intricacies of the networking burrito to you; please stop hectoring me about this topic you've latched onto. The head of our Accounting department was one of those people here. He periodically insists that I get to work on optimizing the mix of hopelessly archaic and cutting edge SQL databases that we use in daily operation on the grounds that it's all computer stuff and I should already know this. My response after the first couple of times when I'd been here longer than a week and wasn't afraid of him anymore was to ask him which stocks were going to be major winners tomorrow, then ask why he didn't know that since it was all money stuff anyway. One proviso is that this is a very sarcastic thing to say and only works in certain environments. It usually works temporarily for this guy. Midelne fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Dec 18, 2008 |
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Dec 18, 2008 23:52
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The star of today's queue has to be one of our dimmest former executives. She requested a copy of her My Documents folder and her Exchange mailbox. So I exported the .PST and burned it to a CD with a copy of her My Documents Folder. Her husband called us today to let us know that not everything was there. Intradepartmentally, I've suggested that since we know they were burned onto the CD that they must have fallen out of the CD on the way to his house from his car and that he should look in the snow, but the issue is most likely resolved since he sounded very puzzled by the idea of a .PST file. He was also adamant that not all of her documents were present. Turns out she stored most of them on her desktop, which I should've checked in retrospect, and I felt very silly when I noticed that her Desktop folder was 364MB and I'd failed to include it. I felt less so when I realized that it was 350MB of manga, torrented games, .torrent files, installers for programs no one would ever need, and a couple outdated malware packages that probably smacked headfirst into McAfee Enterprise and died. The remaining 14MB were minutes to company meetings, which I'm certain she absolutely needs in her new career as a stay-at-home do-nothing.
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Dec 24, 2008 00:06
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D13F00L posted:Here's one. Tell him to retract the landing gear before he runs out of fuel.
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Dec 24, 2008 01:31
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Richard Noggin posted:Wait...you gave a former employee company data? This was more or less what I said to my supervisor, who looked confused and then said, "Aw, just give it to her." In all fairness to him, it's really not a situation where it's going to have any effect on anything. Every person at those meetings had the same last name and none of them work for the company now, if they ever could have really been said to work here to begin with. They all went off after the company was forcibly acquired and formed another company that will probably go down in flames because none of them have the faintest idea how to make anything work. So yeah, I did, and then I went back to studying for MS070-290. :P Someday I will leave this place.
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Dec 24, 2008 05:53
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UserNotFound posted:Thi9s i9s what ty7pi9ng lo0o0ks li9ke o0n her key7bo0ard.2 I( do0n't kno0w ho0w i9t wo0u8ld get thi9s way7, bu8t seeral key7s do0 no0t wo0rk, o0r add addi9ti9no0al haraters when you press them.2 I had almost that exact problem with a keyboard once. Diagnosis? Root beer, quickly cleaned off of the surface but remaining in residue on the internal electronics.
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Dec 24, 2008 17:33
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Head of Sales & Marketing posted:Why won't this send? Correct address. It's really hard to find a way to explain to someone who is certain that they have the correct address because a random anonymous user filled out an online form without a feature to verify email address who believes that you are wrong and stupid that the error message does in fact occur when you have the wrong email address.
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Dec 29, 2008 19:32
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Had a variant on the classic 'email not working' ticket emailed to me today from an external user who used to be an internal user and claimed that email from the external domain to our domain was returning an error message. Pointed out that she was emailing me in our domain to tell me about the error message and requested a copy of the error message. She said she'll get back to me. User also forwarded me their login information for an external (i.e. not work-related, not ours) website to "request a new temporary password because the old temporary password has expired when i puti t into the site plz generate a new one thx". Advised user that they should not give out login or personal information, and that they should repeat whatever procedure they used to get the first password in order to acquire a second.
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Jan 5, 2009 20:49
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Try to figure this one out in advance. An office manager from a site in Centralia called me today and said, "Hey, uh, well, I just wanted to ask .. What's a good way to move the server, like, say, upstairs?" The river a few hundred yards away is nearing major flood stage and still rising. Sure am looking forward to disaster recovery next week when the waters may finally recede.
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Jan 7, 2009 20:12
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JazzmasterCurious posted:It's weird that helpdesk people would need space heaters. Techies are fuelled by coffee. Coffee keeps you warm. I think I'm the only IT professional I know that is entirely caffeine-free, aside from religious folk. I still stay warm, but I remember having a much more difficult time working with ignorant, incompetant, inconsiderate people when I was hyped on stimulants. It's easier to sleep at night, too.
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Jan 7, 2009 21:46
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JazzmasterCurious posted:or the system somehow sends <amount you want to pay> to the merchant but deducts <amount x 10> from your account... Back in the days when I ran a store, this happened on average about once a month. Fairly often -- and I have no idea how the software managed to target this demographic -- it was one of several lawsuit-happy grandmotherly types who would walk in and quite literally shake their canes or purses at us while berating us for our attempted theft. They inevitably brought police and attempted to press charges for anything ranging from fraud to embezzlement to identity theft to just plain theft. I spoke to the police more about that issue than about any other, which was pretty impressive given a high-crime industry. Someday I should host a reunion party for people who worked in software development for that company, lock all the doors at a predetermined time, then release specially-constructed robots that would beat everyone inside the building painfully (but not lethally) with sticks.
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Jan 7, 2009 23:05
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Intrepid00 posted:I hope you are keeping tapes at another location, because even if you move the server to the second floor, that will do no good if the foundation washes away. haha you think we back up a server that isn't located at the main site no matter how important the data on it might be
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Jan 8, 2009 05:28
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Commissar posted:I actually had a whole thread on this: I can't use "just" the driver. The guys like to be able to hit the "scan" button on the printer instead of scanning through the PC itself. The best solution to this that I've found is as follows: Stop buying HP. I will most likely never recommend HP for a business environment again, and entirely because one of our departments got their hands on a Brother DCP-9045cdn and I had the pleasure of working with their software. All through the install I was griping internally at installing (surprisingly small, something like 80MB for the full-bloat, all-features package) software that I assumed absolutely would not work. Got to the part where it let me select either Full or Custom install and said to myself, "Aha! This is where the stupid adware comes in and tries to sell me Brother products, I'll be smart and go component-by-component to keep it out like I do with HP products!" But there was nothing, and the printer-autodetect found the printer I wanted with absolutely no hassle in short order. Double-click, and it offered to register the workstation with the printer for Scan-To functionality, and then offered to set a PIN requirement for added security. I've had no complaints from anyone in the department about any of the functions not working, which is more than I can say about either of the workhorse HP machines in that area. I don't so much care for the aesthetics of Brother printers, but you absolutely cannot argue with their 0.8MB stripped-down driver downloads and I have nothing but good things to say about their 80MB full software package. edit: And yes, I am aware that this does absolutely nothing to alleviate your present issues. :P
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Jan 9, 2009 17:37
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taiyoko posted:Holy infodump, Batman! We get it, you want a bunch of computers for your classroom that we don't have. I wrote something like that once as a joke for someone who wanted to make sure that their IT department didn't think they were too stupid to have computers in their department, but I used the phrase "self-actualization" a lot more.
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Jan 14, 2009 17:04
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I got a call from our head of Public Relations who was out on-site with somebody or other who was trying to print something and it wasn't coming out right. Actual start to conversation: "Hey -- (Hold on, I've got a real IT expert here!) how do I make this print right?" What happens when you try to print it? "It doesn't work right." What do you mean by 'doesn't work right'?" "It doesn't print like I want it to." What is it doing wrong? "It's not printing right." What are you trying to print? "A certificate." What kind of file is it that you're printing? "A certificate from the county." Can you look at the file extension for me? "We just need it to work." What program are you trying to use to print it? "I don't know. Doug, what program are we using? He doesn't know either." Is it Word? Excel? Outlook? Are you printing a picture? "Um, I don't know. Hey, we need to get this printed pretty soon." Who's on first?
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Jan 14, 2009 19:31
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Crowley posted:Do you guys work in the slave mines or something? Before I became the department head I told users several times that I would not accept being yelled/cursed at and that they could call me back and behave like adults or get their superiors to call instead. My boss approved that behavior back then and I make sure to do the same now. When my people speak nicely to the users I will not tolerate having them abused. I used to run a store for a nationwide food service and delivery company that I will someday take great pleasure in seeing fall like, hm, dominos. I left immediately before our district instituted the brilliantly thought-out rule that if they received two complaints over an arbitrarily long period of time that someone at your store had been rude, regardless of what it was that the customer interpreted as being rude, the store manager would be terminated without recourse regardless of their performance. A morbidly obese shut-in who had a special double-wide door in their garage for receiving deliveries once had a complaint escalated to my district manager because I was constitutionally incapable of not laughing when she complained that the delivery driver we sent was too skinny and made her feel bad about herself. I got a verbal warning for that one. I'm guess I'm saying that as bad as some of these tickets sound, there are much worse places to be. edit: Also it's kind of entertaining with the yelling-and-screaming crowd to just fail to react. Some people calm down, but really most people just seem to get even more pissed off that you're not either cowering or yelling back.
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Jan 17, 2009 00:38
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sm8000 posted:I just can't believe how helpless some people can be. She couldn't even save a PDF attachment correctly. In all fairness to them, saving to Temporary Internet Files is the default behavior for most programs that I've worked with if you start off by opening the file directly from the email and then clicking Save in whatever program you used to open it like a good little office worker who's been trained to hit Save every fifteen seconds. It opens up in OLK240930 or whatever and there you are, a full library of documents just sitting there waiting to be lost at the press of a button.
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Jan 19, 2009 06:36
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Syano posted:My cell phone is understood to only be used for emergencies. This weekend I was outside smoking some ribs and enjoying myself when my cell phone rings. It was a facility boss. She tells me no one in her facility can print. Of course she is not actually there she is just relaying the information. Long story short, after looking into it, the actual problem was that one person couldnt print one time to one specific printer and that of course warranted an emergency call to my cell phone. Brilliant. We use an ancient COBOL billing program that requires printers to be programmatically added, so the same server also functions as a print server to make sure everything stays exactly the same forever because otherwise the Billing system would crash. Every single print issue I hear about, no matter how clearly they state that they absolutely cannot print to any printer from their computer, gets "Are you unable to print, or unable to print from Billing?" There is literally no situation (that it is reasonable to anticipate) in which a user will be unable to print from Billing AND unable to print from their local workstation, so it's a great litmus test for exactly how little attention they're paying to the error. I can't imagine that there would be a point in the future at which I would no longer ask questions like this, no matter how far I get from this COBOL-infested pit. It ends up saving so much time for me, and someday when I'm that facility boss will save the time and frustration of the people whose cell phone numbers I've been given.
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Jan 19, 2009 16:33
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Ryokurin posted:That's something that Apple has gotten right. Its smart enough to know better and by default will ask you to save the file somewhere else if you try to save it in a temp folder. Its something that I've personally have wished for in Windows for years. It doesn't seem that hard to do, but apparently so. It'd be pretty insignificant for, say, Microsoft Office to become compliant, but the average user is going to be confused and unhappy when Office "won't let them save their file" and some third-party shithouse production will cheerfully do it without a hitch. That's about the only reason I can think of. Don't get me wrong, I am all-loving-for programs popping up warnings galore when you try to save in Temporary Internet Files; just don't see it happening for a long time on Windows systems.
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Jan 19, 2009 18:04
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Elected by Dogs posted:Sounds like it's time for a new receptionist. Sounds like it's time to forward your calls to the receptionist's personal cell.
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Jan 21, 2009 03:30
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Griz posted:"one register w/2 drawers, want settle drawers by employees rather that both drawers" From my time in retail management I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they want to reconcile the contents of each drawer to an individual cashier's transactions, instead of maybe reconciling both drawers at the end of every shift? Straws, clutching at, etc.
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Jan 22, 2009 03:42
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CraigK posted:After reading this thread, I get the idea that, even though I can't code anything more complex that a DOS 6.0 batch file, I'm still smarter than 99.999% of users with computers and could probably get a job solving simple computer problems like "can't open file.exe help!" Most of my day consists of the same four or five answers over and over. I gave the same one three times today: "Log out of Citrix using Start --> Log Off. Close the gateway login page. Go to Start --> Printers and Faxes. Find the printer you want to take with you when you log into Citrix. If it has a black check mark on it, you're set. If it doesn't, right click it and click Set as Default. Close Printers and Faxes, then click the gateway shortcut. Log in using your gateway username and password. You're all set." On the other hand, because I haven't been given any procedures for the Citrix configuration that the company that bought us out uses and their help desk knows gently caress-all about dealing with networks that aren't physically connected to their topology, I had to come up with the solutions to most of the problems on my own with Google and assorted general troubleshooting (#1. Try something and see if it works. #2. Can you figure out why it didn't work and use that to isolate a solution? If not, repeat #1.). It takes some practice and it doesn't hurt to have a preexisting analytical bent, but it's not in and of itself hard. Basically, my impression of garden-variety helpdesk work is that a successful technician in that position provides as close a simulation of a three-ring binder as is possible under the circumstances.
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Jan 22, 2009 04:04
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Hoppy posted:This old woman brings in her beige built by a "friend who knows computers" windows XP box. She tells me that some guy named "Paul Megalim" has hacked her computer. He has installed programs, changed icons, and even put his picture on the computer to "leave his mark to show off to his hacker friends". She asks us to destroy all the data on the machine, then destroy the PC itself, physically. A mechanic once gave my old boss a cell phone and asked if he could tell if anyone had hacked into it. It was four years old, beat to hell, and kept resetting itself to factory default settings every couple weeks. The cell phone turned out to belong to the mechanic's girlfriend, who was convinced that her enemies in the military were hell-bent on destroying her with the Machiavellian plot of erasing the contacts in her cell phone every once in awhile. My boss, being the intelligent and helpful soul that he was, informed the mechanic that yes, it was possible for the military to hack into cell phones. I next heard about the issue a month later when my boss seemed surprised that the mechanic was asking whether he'd agree to appear as an expert witness. Among the things I would have learned from this encounter if like any rational person I hadn't already learned them long ago is this key idea: "Never tell paranoiacs that you can help them feel more self-important."
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Jan 22, 2009 20:40
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Smoke posted:At least I can always stick to "The e-mail protocols are filled with holes and just about everything in it can be forged". When we had a wave of those awhile ago I scribbled YOU HAVE JUST WON $10,000,000 CLICK HERE on a piece of paper, handed it to whoever was freaking out, and said "This is from the CEO. Please deliver it to Michael and tell him it's from the CEO. Congratulations, you now understand how email works."
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Jan 23, 2009 17:51
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I was at one of our satellite sites this morning and received an urgent ticket that was cc'd to a supervisor instructing me (urgently) to "install an address book on Becky's computer because she doesn't know the email addresses for a lot of people". For reference, we run with Outlook 2003/2007 clients and Exchange 2003. If you're unfamiliar with Exchange, this means that if you're connecting to any Exchange account (barring exotic situations/settings) you already have a copy of the address book. When the person who submitted the ticket came to find me to make sure I recognized the urgency of the urgent situation, I walked her over to the affected workstation, clicked "Tools" and then "Address Book" and the address book came up. She protested that it didn't work when composing an email. I clicked New, then opened the address book by clicking the To: button. She said I should work on making sure that the address book always worked instead of just when I did it because otherwise there was no way to find out someone's email address. I pointed out that everyone in the company who has an email address is firstnamelastname@company.com. Now I think she just hates me.
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Jan 23, 2009 20:46
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ThatSlacker posted:Of course then you have to deal with the support calls from people that are wondering why their address book is filling up with items that they didn't put in it. Which I'm sure would also lead to "OMG Hax!" scares and a slew of idiots on Slashdot arguing back and forth about the legality of modifying someone's address book without their permission. I really do get annoyed at Gmail from time to time for filling up with every single Craigslist job posting address that I respond to once and never hear from again.
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Jan 25, 2009 23:49
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Cizzo posted:Angelina Jolie did it, what stops any average joe from doing it? After watching that movie, I now know to secure all of my data with WEP.
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Jan 29, 2009 01:08
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Binary suddenly makes one of the founding principles of Dominos -- "We make perfect 10 pizzas every day" make a lot more sense, from a conspiracy theorist's point of view. The business-model makes sense if it's secretly propped up by the government as a means of delivering subliminal messages to the two people in Dominos' consumer base that understand strings of zeroes and ones. And kudos on open-sauce.
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Jan 29, 2009 15:19
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devmd01 posted:Yeah, updated version of flash came out this week, and some websites most notably Kitchenaid force you to have Flash 10. Applied for the distribution license to the the MSI and am working on an altiris distribution script right now, but ugh gently caress you flash. I wish I'd known that was what a distribution license got you. On the other hand, I did discover that you can script remote background installations of the regular old plugin file (but only for one browser at a time) with a batch file, psexec, and the Silent installation flag. I haven't found any major drawbacks, but I'm only working with 150-odd workstations and it doesn't take long to iterate through them. This probably changes with scale.
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Jan 30, 2009 03:06
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nene posted:It's far far worse to actually be that tech. Tech support of any kind, at any level, appears to be a delicate dance between people complaining because they feel insulted and people complaining because you complied with their disasterous request on the assumption that someone would only ask for and repeatedly confirm an awful request if they knew what it was and would for some reason want it.
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Feb 2, 2009 04:05
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Yaos posted:I bet they thought he would print out all the emails and mail them through USPS. The funny thing is that the same people who would freak the gently caress out if it were in any way suggested that IT is capable of reading their email are most often the same people who believe that IT is capable of categorizing your email without reading it according to what you would have been most likely to delete, if you were to have taken the time to go through and do the work yourself. edit: Jerk McJerkface posted:He actually didn't know what he was doing at all, but he didn't tell anyone. he didn't even ask for help, he just came in, found a problem, assigned blame, and didn't apologize for getting me in trouble. My job is leaking.
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Feb 2, 2009 18:18
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AlexDeGruven posted:2 days later... I like this story.
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Feb 2, 2009 20:08
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. Remove all access for 
due to employee termination.
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boo_radley posted:everyone loves a happy ending. That's what my masseuse keeps telling me, but I'm not sure why.
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Feb 2, 2009 20:59
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xobofni posted:Entitled "THIS, WHAT, SCANDAL," I think the worst part is being able to understand that.
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Feb 2, 2009 22:24
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