A ticket came in...

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > A ticket came in...

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I somehow managed to procure about 20 VoIP phones and a managed switch for $0 (plus one very degrading sexual favor).

Now you're whoring yourself out for these slimeballs?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2010 17:27

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 23:49

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Tech
Nov 8,2010 11:05am
Okay, no problem. When do you need it?

# ¿ Nov 8, 2010 17:02

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Dick Trauma posted:

I emailed this picture to the CIO with a brief explanation of why I believe this to be more of Tony's horseshit. I don't care what he does with it; he usually doesn't respond to these kinds of emails. But he needs to know that I will never stop shining a light on Tony's stupidity.

Smother that thing with a pillow until it overheats and dies and then :munch:

# ¿ Nov 8, 2010 22:18

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Has there been something wrong with the Earth's gravitational pull or something? I've had to help 3 different people from three different clients log into their domain computers in the past week. The problem? They're logging in as username@externaldomain.com. When the hell did anyone tell them to start logging in with their email address?

# ¿ Nov 9, 2010 15:45

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Midelne posted:

username@domain actually works for a Windows login if I recall correctly; it's interpreted the same way that domain\username would be. Whether it authenticates properly or not really depends on whether your external (email-related) and internal namespaces coincide, I guess. I wish mine didn't.

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I've found this happens if they somehow get their login option changed from "log in to [domain]" to "log in to [local computer]". Then somehow they puzzle out that they can login with their email address.

You can indeed log in using username@domain, however in my case our clients were logging in as their externally hosted domain's email address. For example, let's say their internal AD domain was sa.local, but they were trying to login as dipshit@somethingawful.com.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2010 20:19

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

My biggest job perk is being able to drink beer whenever I want. As long as I don't show up at a client's office piss drunk.

Our dress code used to be jeans on Fridays, but my boss axed that and now we can wear them any time. I wear mostly button-up plaid shirts, polos and some sweaters.

Also, somewhat "ticket" related: I went onsite to a client today and their AVG license is expiring soon. It felt like a "Peter, did you get that memo?" kind of situation the way 14 different people told me their AVG was expiring at different times throughout the day. :ughh:

# ¿ Nov 10, 2010 23:17

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

ozmunkeh posted:

Receptionist just forwarded me a phone call from her friend who quit working here about 18 months ago. She was asking me to fix some issue with a piece of fairly specialized software they need for wherever she's working now. The usual awesome quality of problem descriptions like "it just didn't work but the computer is networked on the download" (huh?) and "their support just say blah blah blah and nothing works they don't help".

I figured I'd at least give her some pointers on where to start looking for a fix and had the support website up when she came out with this gem "So i didn't want to call $Local_IT_DoItAllShop and give them another $60 when I could just call someone out for $30. How are you fixed for evenings?".

I told her something came up and she should call their support again then put the phone down.
What the hell? We were having a pleasant conversation and I'd probably have talked you through fixing it while sitting here browsing SA but goddamn. gently caress you, lady.

"Well for evenings that's actually when my after hours rate kicks in. That $30 turns into $90. See you at 6:00pm *click*"

# ¿ Nov 15, 2010 21:47

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

enotnert posted:

. . . talked with my higher ups and HR.

Their statement is as such.

"He brings a lot of respect to the university and has massive grant funding. You are to continue supporting him."

Sounds like you just need to have some fun with him then. The next laptop you setup, tea bag the poo poo out of the touchpad and keyboard.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2010 22:16

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

duTrieux posted:

The closest car analogy I can think of is insisting that the spare tire works fine, really, they'll just wait until that goes too before taking it into the shop. You might want to tell them that unless you're looking forward to taking all their delicious money in a few weeks.

Well I lost gears 3 through 5 in my transmission but it's okay... I can get by fine with just first and second for now. If I lose both of those I guess I'll have you take a look at it and maybe even fix it.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2010 05:14

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Farking Bastage posted:

I have a dilemma on my hands looks like.

First off gently caress AVG network. Instead of a renewal of version 9 they made us go to 2011, which expired all the version 9 clients' licenses and shut off my AV domain wide.

Problem is, 1. The 2011 installer is a pile of poo poo that bombs out if windows firewall is disabled(ours is by GPO). 2. It also will not uninstall version 9 from the console, so I will have to touch every machine on the domain and do all this poo poo manually. 3. it's such a resource hog, it pretty much renders a P4 machine useless, of which we still have a lot.

Firstly, let me say that AVG 2011 (especially the Internet Business Edition or whatever it's called) is a steaming pile of rear end. So i'm with you on that. But I was able to create a network install script from AVG Admin that I had the staff at one of my clients run and it A) Upgraded AVG 8.5 to 2011 automagically and B) Rebooted their PC for them. All they had to do was double click a batch file.

With that said, AVG has has been climbing my shitlist for a year or two now. I'm definitely not pushing it on new customers from here on out.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2010 19:41

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

We had a client that would try to save money any way possible. So instead of us coming out to install a RAM upgrade in a laptop, we agreed to walk him through it over the phone. We've done it a thousand times after all. Hell, we even walked an 80-something year old woman through upgrading her RAM over the phone from the other side of the country.

So I call to help the guy and he says "Oh I'm just getting the old RAM out now, so I'm almost there". I think "great, he's done this before".

Yeah loving right. The guy pulled the laptop's RAM out while it was powered up. It ended up hosing the Windows installation somehow and we had to do a repair install. So a 15 minute phone call turned into a 45 minute drive and 1-2 hours onsite! :bravo:

I've walked people through running repair installs off an XP disk over the phone plenty of times, but we weren't about to entrust this guy to that task.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2010 02:56

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

I find that a full Malwarebytes scan + a Combofix run will clear just about anything.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2010 19:19

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

couldcareless posted:

This.
I always run through the typical procedure of doing the above until I think it's clean, then do 1 more scan after that point. Then I check the adapter settings (I've seen a manual DNS set as god knows what in there more times than I should), firewall exceptions, proxy settings on browsers, check msconfig for blank startup items, and verify that all business related software is still functioning including opening anything .exe to make sure that bit in the registry didn't bite the dust after the removal. You can also do a google for malwarebytes and click the link to their site from the google search. If it redirects you after all of the above, well, you screwed. I only ran into that situation once and I just nuked the profile and started from scratch.

This is pretty much my procedure:

Open Task Manager -> kill any rogue process. Start->Run->%TEMP% -> delete temp + temp internet files -> disable System Restore -> Install/Run Malwarebytes and don't reboot -> run Combofix -> reboot -> let it finish -> check for IE/Firefox proxies -> check temp folders one last time for any new .exe files that might appear -> test google searches for hijacking -> profit

# ¿ Nov 24, 2010 19:37

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Yeap. Got a call at 4:15 about a workstation that "all programs are crashing every once and awhile, and it's really slow". I log in to find it's running Service Pack 2.

An hour and 15 minutes later, SP3 is installed, and I'm at 3 of 41 updates completed. :suicide:

I just keep remind myself: 5 days off after today :cool:

# ¿ Nov 24, 2010 23:33

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Maker Of Shoes posted:

I'm running the office solo today while everyone else is taking the day off. I was only slightly bitter about it after answering the 90837455th stupid ticket but then my manager walks in and says

Just you in the office today?
Uh...yeah.
You carry a Glock 23, right?
Uh...yeah.
Here, I found these in my truck and don't have a use for them.
Oh. Cool. I guess. *opens box* Why are there 3 missing?
gently caress if I know. I hope they aren't in my office.

Then he promptly walks off.

Guess what you're an accessory to now!

# ¿ Nov 27, 2010 20:02

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Maker Of Shoes posted:

What in the ever living gently caress?

# ¿ Nov 28, 2010 05:25

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Bonzo posted:

I just found out that one of our clients, a top international petroleum company, is mandating Vista installed on EVERY workstation.

Duh, they wanted to wait for Service Pack 2 before deploying it!

# ¿ Nov 30, 2010 20:02

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Telex posted:

Does anyone else have a thing where you get people who get that goddamn ransomware malware bullshit like Security Center or Antivirus Action or whatever the christ the name happens to be of whatever flavor they got... and you're running A/V on every machine and it STILL gets through?

I have no idea how it's getting on machines with Sophos installed other than Sophos loving Sucks but I have trouble believing that's the case. We have people set to update every single day for paranoia, but now I'm up to 6 machines in the last month that have managed to get infected and I have no idea what to do anymore.

Some have been local admins, most have not. Most have been on XP, one has been Win7 so I'm not seeing a common thread here. (other than they're all PC's and gently caress it maybe we should have all macs instead I guess).

I have no idea how it's infecting them or where they're getting it from either since there's no common thread among the people who are getting it. At all.

The worst goddamn thing in the world is when we have someone with an infection like this and they demand that we don't charge them for the work because "YOU RECOMMENDED AVG AND WE PAID HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS AND IT DIDN'T WORK!". Is it a coincidence that these cheap-asses don't ever let us do maintenance on their machines, and as a result they're running XP SP2 and old versions of Flash, Java, Acrobat, etc? No!

So we clean Magic Antivirus 2011, do some updates and send them on their way, only to get a call 2 weeks later and find out they're infected with Supreme Protection Suite 2012 and they think we didn't clean the original infection and of course demand for us to clean the new one for free. :suicide:

# ¿ Dec 1, 2010 04:15

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

An email came in!

# ¿ Dec 7, 2010 13:54

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Lum posted:

In the days of CRTs, the default diagnosis for this would be lovely computer speakers.

We actually don't even do desktop support for that particular company, so we just get to sit back and enjoy the emails that come in.

Here are some of my guesses:

Screen resolution set to 800x600 on a 24" LCD
User right clicked the desktop and selected "Rotate 90 degrees clockwise"
Dual monitor setup backwards so dragging windows to the left brings them to the right side of the right monitor

# ¿ Dec 7, 2010 15:52

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

este posted:

No bonus, potentially losing our foosball table, and the holiday party was moved to Jan 5th.

This sounds like grounds for a worker strike. Of course, I'm insanely jealous that you have a foosball table to begin with.

An email came in:

quote:

Support,

Are we allowed to use battery powered heaters that do not require the use of electricity or electrical sockets??

They're learning!

# ¿ Dec 22, 2010 15:29

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Midelne posted:

One of our company's locations fired their only solidly-competent and well-liked management-level employee on a Monday the week before Christmas because the district and office manager for that location don't like him. Ignoring the rest of it, who the gently caress fires someone on a Monday?

Other accomplishments this year for that location by the same district/office manager combination include firing a soft-spoken and kind-hearted old man a couple years away from retirement on his birthday and instituting the wearing of safety shirts in an office environment on Fridays to show their dedication to safety and build morale.

Do you have a sign out front that says "Welcome to [company name]! ___ days since our last employee murderous rampage!"?

# ¿ Dec 22, 2010 19:50

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Maker Of Shoes posted:

It says "Pick your timezone". What do I do?!
Total shot in the dark here but I'd wager you're supposed to pick your timezone.

Every. Single. loving. Time.

"Hey mono, can you setup so-and-so's PC so they can get up and running?"

"Sure, just boot it up and go through the initial setup wizard. Once you're online let me know and I'll do a remote session to get it set up"

*45 minutes go by and I call back*

"Oh sorry, I was stuck where it asked for a computer name"

:doh:

JUST ENTER ANYTHING! I'm going to rename it anyways.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2010 01:15

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Nomex posted:

My boss is too busy shifting paradigms and revolutionizing our adaptive infrastructure to do Visio diagrams.

Open Visio
Insert -> Picture from file
Select brilliant hand drawn diagram
Save
Send

Hey, you're just doing what he told you to do!

# ¿ Jan 7, 2011 18:27

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Fox_Spy posted:

Get a call while at my real job today. It's the woman from last night, her brother went ahead and bought the computers. So they don't need my help anymore, but please bill her for the time I've spent on this so far. I like these minimal work jobs.

Actual quote: I'm sure we'll have plenty of work for you in the future though, you know how [my husband] is with the computer, breaking things.

I think the best kind of customer is the kind that knows they break poo poo and also has no problem paying you to fix things. Why can't they all be like this?

# ¿ Jan 13, 2011 21:19

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Moey posted:

Maybe I should see this as a good thing, add a little more physical activity into my days. (too bad new cube is only 1 away from old cube)

What the hell kind of name is Beata? But hey, at least you're getting more than a days notice!

# ¿ Jan 13, 2011 22:15

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

anthonypants posted:

Hey, speaking of passwords, I had this lovely conversation with a Comcast rep the other day:

of course I told her no, I even tried to be polite

they reset my password anyway

Be honest, your original password was "hairycuntfuck" and you were too ashamed to tell her.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2011 19:46

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Dick Trauma posted:

THREE HOUR INTERVIEW

This is awesome news but you're probably in for a hefty challenge. Depending on how the consultants documented stuff the first few weeks/months could be death. If the company grew as fast as you said they probably kept throwing new equipment and servers in there and spending money like crazy. We have a client who jumped from ~50 to ~150 users in 6-8 months and their network infrastructure is spiraling out of control. They bought an Exchange server with 64 GB of RAM.

With that said, 20k is kind of a nice increase

# ¿ Jan 21, 2011 16:37

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

Whenever someone tells me "I tried everything!" I really want to reply with "then why is it still broken?"

# ¿ Jan 22, 2011 16:36

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

go3 posted:

sorry people but i'm just here for 45 seconds to drop off a laptop. if you'd like me to teach your mentally retarded receptionist how to back up in Quickbooks for the 5th time you're welcome to call me and schedule a time just like everyone else.

And if you did help her:

"What's this $50 bill for!? You only came and dropped off a laptop that day!"

# ¿ Jan 25, 2011 22:02

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

A ticket came in... *does a shot*

# ¿ Jan 27, 2011 14:21

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

devmd01 posted:

We had layoffs a couple of years ago on a Monday that for the most part were used as an excuse to clean house of useless and lazy people company wide. The helpdesk had 5 people, they walked 4 out. The remaining guy wasn't going to put up with being the only helpdesk guy for a 4000 user company, so come Friday he did nothing except have a ticket created and ready to submit for removing his user account and all access.

When the helpdesk manager handed him his paycheck, he handed the manager his Blackberry, hit submit on the ticket, and walked out the door.

That's pretty glorious. I have no idea as to how they thought they'd get by with just one helpdesk guy.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2011 19:39

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

CitizenKain posted:

Guess they got to find out how'd they do with 0. Funny to think about what would happen when people call in for support and nothing happens.

A ticket came in...

# ¿ Jan 27, 2011 20:09

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

That PSR utility would be a godsend if it would just prompt a user to type in their support guy's email address and have it automatically send after recording. Having them save it and attach it to an email is too much.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2011 19:13

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

We need a picture of Tony, damnit. I want to see him getting chewed out on the phone.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2011 23:10

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

What, why don't you just do the needful and fixes his password?

# ¿ Jan 30, 2011 03:58

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

enotnert posted:

Jeopardy question time.

This particular CJ is spending his day modifying 15 year old TeX documents and is likely to get very drunk tonight.

Please remember to give your answers in the form of a question.

"Who is enotnert?"

# ¿ Feb 1, 2011 19:09

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

enotnert posted:

Correct. . .

Next question for $200

This CJ just had a corrupted file accidentally delete the root user off of all his 32bit linux workstations!

Who is Dick Trauma?

# ¿ Feb 1, 2011 19:49

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

The good news is you don't have to move anything!

# ¿ Feb 1, 2011 19:54

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 23:49

morningdrew: Jul 18, 2003; It's toe-tapping-ly tragic!

An email came in... and I have no loving clue what this guy is talking about. I read it over and over about 50 times and I can't grasp it.

quote:

I opened an old e-mail to review an attachment and outlook sent a message to the author and all it said was no viruses, and the only reason I know is that the person was had their OOO, but also any and every old e-mail I open to look at shows up on my Blackberry????? I don�t think everyone is getting a message on the ones that only show up on my Blackberry.

Like I said�very strange.

I've gathered that OOO = Out of Office I guess? But the rest... I don't get what the problem is here :psyduck:

# ¿ Feb 2, 2011 21:09

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