A ticket came in...

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > A ticket came in...

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

couldcareless posted:

I need some sort of program or batch that I can run that will tell me the current up times of specific machines on the network without having to remote and net stats it. Anyone got a quick and easy solution?

I use SoftPerfect's Network Scanner for this and many other things. It is free and updated regularly.

It will tell you every machines uptime. You can use it to connect to their Computer Management page to see event logs (very helpful). And lots more.

Also a bonus is that it does not "install" it runs from the exe file and is small (739kb) so you can put it on a USB or something and run it from anywhere.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2011 17:06

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 23:04

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Slack Motherfucker posted:

There's an "Import IP Address List" feature under the file menu. I'm not sure if that'll help, I just started playing with it about 45 seconds ago. What a cool .exe, thanks Trastion!\

Edit: You can also set it to "non-continuous IP Range Mode" with the little button next to the IP Address range. Then hit the little green plus to add more IP addresses. You have to enter each address twice (once for the start of the range, once for the end), so it's a pain in the rear end if you want to do like, 20 specific noncontinuous addresses, but it's handy if you just want like 3.

Second Edit: If you make a list in a text file, one IP Address per line, then the "Import IP Address List" will read from that file and scan those addresses. Holy poo poo this program owns!

You can also make several lists, I have one for each network and/or vlan, and toggle with the little arrow dropdown. Also the ability to remotely shutdown or reboot a system. No more asking the user to reboot and getting lied to.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2011 19:17

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Dick Trauma posted:

I think there's a rule the C-level people only bring you a portable device to work on when there's less than 10% battery left and they have no charger.

The real reason is that they lost their charger and know you will charge it up for them. They will be back in another 3-6 hours depending on how much YouTube they watch.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2011 20:24

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Not really a ticket but something that caught me off guard that I thought may be useful knowledge to some of you.

A couple days ago we let a remote employee go. I disabled his account and changed the password like normal. We removed his access to any and all sites and apps that he had access to.

The next day i get an email from HR asking me to make sure that I have turned off his email access. Apparently he was still sending emails out for a couple hours after he was terminated, luckily none of them were malicious.

I turns out that since we upgraded from Exchange 2003 to 2010 earlier this year that Microsoft seems to think that allowing disabled accounts to still send emails is fine. I did some searching and found that this is pretty common and has been happening since Exchange 2007. Here is a link to a Technet forum post describing it.

I am pretty sure my problem arose because either the user was already logged into OWA or his phone,using owa as a connection, was keeping his token alive.

Microsoft's "fix" for this is to reset IIS whenever you disable an account. There are also a couple post explaining how to set a lower default timeout for the UserToken but this will never timeout when a phone checks the connection every 1 minute or so.

Someone else in that thread posted a workaround of "Go to Exchange management console and remove "NT Authority\SELF" from "Management Full Access Permission...", that will disable OWA access right away." This seems to work. It is what I will be doing from now on when disabling someones account that has access to OWA or email on their phone.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2011 20:07

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

evobatman posted:

I have the greatest fianc� in the world. And I have proof of it, she made me this, which I proudly display at work. It's become legendary in the short time it's been on my desk:

I was expecting goatse or something, I was not disappointed though, that is awesome.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2011 15:14

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I had to head check this morning to make sure noone slipped into my coffee.

From an attempted desktop sharing 'sesh'

I have to give mikogo credit though, despite the fact that there were 25+ (and counting) sessions open it didn't crash the computer.

That, is a thing of beauty!

# ¿ Nov 22, 2011 16:30

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Moey posted:

An email came in for me and my coworker.

They want you to move the tables around to make room for everyone...

vv

# ¿ Dec 20, 2011 16:34

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Guy Axlerod posted:

So you're saying that your employer can't read email stored on their own server?

Yeah I don't get this either. I run our exchange server and get asked to go into current employees email boxes to get items or see if they received and read an email. The company owns the emails and the server. People are told not to use their company email for personal stuff (but they all do anyways).

# ¿ Dec 29, 2011 18:10

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

notwithoutmyanus posted:

I've never been a big fan of the "don't use this for personal use, this is corporate" disclaimer but I'm not sure there's a great compromise/solution that isn't complicated or basically not worth the effort at the moment, that companies which actually care about best practices would allow anyway.

Is there one?

We don't enforce them using it for personal email, but we let them know that the company owns all emails that enter our servers. There is no illusion of privacy. We run a mail archiver for legal reasons and we also watch to make sure people are not sending out stuff to their personal email accounts since we are a financial institution.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2011 19:26

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Telex posted:

so changing the subject then, anyone happen to have a Barracuda Web Filter at their work?

I'm tired of the loving malware infestation plague, we have all windows machines and we use them for email processing already so how's the Web Filter work out?

Is it a scenario where you end up spending more time unblocking false positives than you save by not having malware or is it like super loving useful "gently caress anti-virus, woo hoo"?

I have one at work. It really depends on how much you lock down your system. We have most normal users locked down pretty hard for their internet and i have to whitelist sites all the time because they are blocked. I get about 3-5 hits a month that it stopped a malware or other bad site and I have never even bothered to see if they were a false positive. If it blocks it, it blocks it. The ones I whitelist are blocked because of the category they fall into is blocked.

I also agree with mute that it does not replace the need for anti-virus and/or malware software. It is just another defense and for us is mainly just there so we can keep people off of Facebook and crap like that.

In the 4 years we have had it I have had 2 malware/virus infections get through and those were both on accounts that are exempt from filtering due to VIP status. We are only a 100 user company though so you may see more if you are a larger company.

I love my Barracudas, I have a Web Filter & a Spam Filter (Email).

This one was reset a while ago, had a corrupt HD, so stats are not very old. I think a couple months.

This one we upgraded to a faster model after 2 years, I think this one is now 2-2 1/2 years old.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2011 16:49

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

blackswordca posted:

My hatred for Quickbooks has increased 10 fold...

I installed QB 2012 from the disk, server only installation for the Quickbooks Database server manager. Install finished without errors, since its on a server i arrange a time to reboot.

Server comes back up, get an error that if i want to use the program I have to install it from the CD so i rerun the installation again and reboot.. and it does the same thing again

I just upgraded our QB to 2012 today. I did not have to reboot the server at all. Were you upgrading or installing from scratch?

My problem this year (every year there are problems with Quickbooks upgrades) was just that they only sent us 3 of our 4 licenses. So we called them and they said it will be 3-5 business days till we get the 4th one. All I need is a code! I have the media already.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2012 22:11

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Not that i know of. I put the disc in and ran it. It updated. Did 3 workstations and the server only database thing.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2012 22:51

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

And here is something for those of you that drink.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/02/scotch-in-a-can_n_1175256.html

Scotch in a can.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2012 22:51

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

HalloKitty posted:

I've just done a migration from Exchange 2003 to 2010, and.. it went overall pretty smoothly. 2010 guzzles down more RAM than 2003 by a large margin, but I'm hoping at the same time that will increase performance.

Exchange 2010 will use every bit of ram you can throw at it. It dynamically will free up ram for other programs when they need it and it seems to do that pretty well.

We thought there was an issue because it was eating up 90% of our 16Gb of ram. But after digging into it it seems that this is intended by MS and works really well.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 18:40

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

TomBosleyExp posted:

hell yeah

also an update from me: I finished my two associate's degrees (computer systems security and network administration) back in December, and still looking for employment because I'm a broke rear end motherfucker right now. There's only so much Minecrafting I can do in a day before I go nuts.

Anyone have leads for something near Ann Arbor, MI?

I know that Barracuda Networks has a call center there. From the guys I have talked to that work there it is not like a standard call center. They are all pretty smart and know their poo poo.

I do not know anyone specific to give you an in though, sorry.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2012 15:24

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

GWBBQ posted:

Just got an email asking me to check the Blu Ray player and VCR in room 142. Room 142 is the mailroom

You think your the only one that watches movies all day?

# ¿ Feb 8, 2012 20:07

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

rscott posted:

When I worked at compUSA, I had a customer who had either never used a computer before in her life or was the best troll I've ever seen. I spent 30 minutes showing her how to do basic things on a computer. Then she left without buying anything. I'd like to think that I did a good thing by teaching someone the rudiments of modern technology but I remember just being kind of annoyed that I spent all that time and didn't even get a sale.

Most likely her accomplice was looting everything he could while she distracted you for a bit.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2012 20:14

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Moey posted:

A call came in. User claimed one of their monitors crapped out. I go to look at the situation. Monitor works fine. Word Perfect (which was maximized on that monitor) was frozen. Thanks Corel!

Also while walking back to the closet they keep me in, I see a user typing some information from a PDF into a document. This would be normal, but the PDF was displaying rotated 90deg, so the user had their head tiled 90deg. I stared for about 30 seconds, then slowly walked away.

You could have told them to rotate it, Acrobat has this function as I am sure most other pdf viewers do too.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 22:45

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Moey posted:

I was actually just going to rotate their monitor for them, seems more logical.

That is what I would expect them to do actually.

I work in a place that I help people with things like that because my users are nice. And also since I am getting paid to help people.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 22:58

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

psydude posted:

FTFY

I know this stands for Fixed That For You but every time I see it I first think "gently caress That, gently caress You!". I am not sure which way is better sometimes.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2012 15:21

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Spermy Smurf posted:

Thanks for the perspective.

You know what is fantastic? When the MSIA tool that Microsoft says to use to gather this info says "Do you want to scan by domain?" and you say Yes. Then it tells you that there are no computers in the domain. So you tell it to do by IP range. It tells you there are no PCs in the range. So you tell it to do local machine, and it tells you there is no local machine.

What the hell.

Case closed. The tool says you don't have any computers then you don't need any licenses.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2012 21:54

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

evobatman posted:

Do you know something I do not?

He didn't say it was going to be "your" kid, just a kid. Was he at your wedding or honeymoon? :ninja:

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 14:18

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Cpt.Wacky posted:

I was really excited earlier this week to start deploying a fax server with serial-to-IP box for the VMs and some serious business multitech fax modems.

Then I found out that Windows Photo Viewer can't rotate TIFF files. It's pretty much guaranteed that faxes are going to come in upside down and my users are not going to be able to handle using anything more sophisticated than the built-in image viewer.

So my whole plan is shot right now. I think the only way to make it work is forking out a lot of cash for GFI FaxMaker or some other software that doesn't suck quite as much as the built-in Windows faxing stuff.

Faxes!!!

we use GFI Faxmaker and I like it, pretty hassle free once it is up and running. Things still come in upside down and sideways though. They are changed into a PDF though so that may help. You will need a Brooktrout card (fax card) though if you do not have one already.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2012 19:06

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Dick Trauma posted:

But I was asleep while I worked on it! I feel that is a higher level of dedication to our art.

I am pretty sure that everything you do is when you are sleeping. I would tell you to GET BACK IN YOUR POD! but you already are in there. There was just a slight malfunction and it should be fixed now.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2012 20:33

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Ok which goon is this? It has to be an IT worker.

The BBC posted:

A man has been arrested in an apparent hostage situation in central London that prompted an evacuation and the closing of a major thoroughfare. Police were called to Tottenham Court Road after office equipment was hurled from the fifth floor of an office building, the BBC reports. A man carrying explosives had reportedly entered the building and taken four hostages. He ordered workers to "throw computers from the window," according to an official email.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2012 16:01

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Sonnekki posted:

A ticket came in for a Java web app which needs optimizing badly.

Currently running into a wall where web service authentication isn't working properly because it can't find the local certificates.

On a hunch, I take a look at the hosts file to make sure something isn't messed up. What do I see?

Thousands of lines of host entries, probably covering every server in the data center. I'm afraid for my life.

FYI, SpyBot Search & Destroy will add thousands of lines to the hosts file. It does this to blacklist known virus sites and redirects the URLs to 127.0.0.1. But if your seeing internal stuff only then that probably isn't it.

# ¿ May 4, 2012 20:04

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

What do you do when you install a 2.5" SSD in a case with a 3.5" Drive Bay but no adapter cradle? YOU MAKE ONE!

Ok this is only temporary until my cradle comes in later this week but I thought I would share.

# ¿ May 9, 2012 19:08

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

angrytech posted:

blocklist/allowlist

Don't bring these guys into the mix now...

# ¿ May 11, 2012 21:22

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

rscott posted:

I am a pretty bad picture taker, but that's an ethernet cable with all but two pairs of wires snipped off, left bare and plugged into an RJ-11 adapter. This cable goes to our MFP which is also our fax machine.

It is not uncommon for phone jacks to be wired with Cat-5 cable. Most analog phone systems only use two wires, so with a Cat-5 you can have 4 phone lines running in one cable. If you have a wall jack that has 4 jacks you run 1 cable and use each pair for a different jack.

# ¿ May 24, 2012 19:24

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

rscott posted:

"Tab? Yes please!"

Here you go.

edit: it almost matches your avatars hair.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 16:04

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Frozen-Solid posted:

I found out today that my boss dislikes Semantec Endpoint Protection as much as I do. Awesome. Unfortunately we're in a 3 year contract so we can't move to something that doesn't suck until late 2013.

Some of the major companies will buy out your old contracts if you switch to their product.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2012 16:45

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Dick Trauma posted:

stained the rear wall and left a disgusting mess on the floor.

I think you meant to post that in this thread.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2012 20:45

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

I have a non-liquor question.

I have a bunch of free time at work. Don't tell my boss. I am wondering if there is a website(s) that have tutorials and/or other reading on different IT related things. We are a Windows shop and I run most everything that is not programming related. Hardware, software, AD, Citrix, Phones, etc.

I am just looking for stuff that will help with my skill set. Maybe even certification tutor sites or something. I only have my Net+ cert & Assoc degree currently. I have been working here for 5 years after graduating and things are getting stale and I want to get more money.

Thanks for any suggestions.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2012 16:14

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Ganon posted:

Amazon has a million cert related ebooks that you could buy and then just read on the computer. mcmcse.com has some free study guides.

Thanks, I will check out the mcmcse site first as I really don't want to buy anything at this time.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2012 16:49

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Thought this joke would be pretty appropriate for this thread.

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:
"Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."

I am not sure that it is really a joke though with the users we all deal with.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2012 19:22

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Can anyone confirm my thoughts or point me in the right direction on an issue with Exchange 2010 and domain names.

We have multiple companies that the higher ups want to keep separate as far as the outside world is concerned. Our biggest problem right now is they all use the same email server.

First off here is our setup. We are a Windows environment except for a couple specific *nix boxes that really should not matter for this. We are running Exchange 2010 on a Windows 2008 server and a Barracuda Spam & Virus Firewall for our email. Our MX records point to mail.(company).com [this is an old unused company name but still a domain name we own] But when I look at headers for emails I see our internal domain name listed that is also the name of one of our companies.

Received: from mail.(company).com (mail.(internal-domain).com. [**.***.***.**])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP ...;

Is this internal-domain being sent by our dns? or something else?

Basically they want me to get it to say something generic like asdf123.com but I am not sure if I can do that internally with DNS or buy the domain name and set that at my registrar. Or maybe I am totally off track.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2012 19:23

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

I had multiple students come in when I was in campus IT with their password set so you just set your finger on the A key and then dragged it right across the keyboard.

I think his issue/the part that is funny is that it says press spacebar once and then under issues it says the spacebar does not work well.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2012 21:28

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Dick Trauma posted:

THE HELDESK GUY QUIT!

He found a place that is closer to his home and pays more.

So now they face the challenge of finding someone smart enough to do all of Tony's work for him but not smart enough to be bothered by his aggressive, terminal stupidity.

Congrats Help Desk guy on YOTJ, wherever you are!

# ¿ Jul 26, 2012 20:08

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Paladine_PSoT posted:

https://www.ismercuryinretrograde.com

I wholeheartedly believe this is the source of your issues.

This is kinda funny because this morning we had an issue with our entire Exchange server stopping. No emails in our out.

Astrological transit - Wikipedia page posted:

For example, the retrograde movement of Mercury is commonly thought to signify difficulties in communication, such as post or emails going astray, verbal misunderstandings, and travel delays and frustrations.

As it turns out though it had nothing to do with Mercury but instead was a VP that tried to send 15 zip files ranging from 10-50Mb in an email to 3 outside addresses. This made Exchange shut some stuff down when it pegged its memory/cpu trying to check out all the zip files.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2012 20:18

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 23:04

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Cell phones will ramp up power of the wireless/cell system to try to get a signal when they cannot,which can make them VERY hot. Maybe the laptop was doing something similar. I put my cell phone in a locker for a few hours and thought I turned the phone off but must not have. When i got back to the locker the phone was so hot that I could not hold it.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2012 21:35

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