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Tsaven Nava
Dec 31, 2008

by elpintogrande


So, for whatever reason, I don't drink alchy-hal. I'm 24, and have absolutely no religious, medical, or moral reasons not to. I've just never felt like it and never had the desire. I have no qualms with other people drinking, although I find it really, really annoying to be around drunk people.

But if you're out socially, not like drinking to get smashed, but just a couple drinks, and there's someone in the group that just sticks to virgin daiquiris or otherwise is attempting to subtly not drink, does that weird you out in any way? I'm told by some friends that not being someone who drinks can be a limiting factor socially.

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Mucilaginous
Aug 3, 2006

Slimy and gross.


Tsaven Nava posted:

So, for whatever reason, I don't drink alchy-hal. I'm 24, and have absolutely no religious, medical, or moral reasons not to. I've just never felt like it and never had the desire. I have no qualms with other people drinking, although I find it really, really annoying to be around drunk people.

But if you're out socially, not like drinking to get smashed, but just a couple drinks, and there's someone in the group that just sticks to virgin daiquiris or otherwise is attempting to subtly not drink, does that weird you out in any way? I'm told by some friends that not being someone who drinks can be a limiting factor socially.

I don't drink, either (upsets my stomach too much) and I can say, I've had a few annoying/awkward comments made in my direction. That or people assume I want to be the designated driver.

That said, who cares what other people think? You don't want to drink - then don't.

Faithless
Dec 1, 2006


Alcohol is gross I don't know how anyone can drink it. The only drink I can stomach is Bacardi breezers but even then only a couple. Plus who wants to be some drunk guy being all

"Yo brah whatsup"

Did you know most rapes happen when alcohol is involved?

Women's Rights?
Nov 16, 2005

Ain't give a damn


I'm not a huge drinker (glass of wine on my birthday/christmas, MAYBE a fancy drink if I'm feeling crazy), but I've never had anyone look at me funny because I'm ordering soda while everyone else is drinking beer. I've never had a problem going to bars/clubs/restaurants and not drinking, nor has anyone ever given me poo poo about it. The only thing that sucks is that I'm always the designated driver. Maybe I don't want to drive tonight jerks

melon
May 5, 2003

i knew the HRT was a bad idea

I really enjoy real ale and nice beer, and good whisky also. I have no problems with people not drinking, but those with no 'proper' (e.g. not medical/religious etc) reasons to not drink, I do find it weird they won't even have a taste of a really nice beer for example. I really enjoy the taste and so would have a pint of ale for that reason, not for getting trashed (though don't get me wrong, I like to get trashed also).

So I don't see why people who don't drink won't even have 'just the one' because it tastes good?

djfooboo
Oct 16, 2004



I drink alcohol near every day and I find it annoying to be around drunk people. The key is moderation. Some people drink to get drunk, me I drink for the taste and social lubrication.

jason
Jul 25, 2002



Non-drinkers don't weird me out, but they do kind of bum me out for some reason. At least in a one-on-one setting. I like to have a few drinks when I go out to dinner. If the person I am dining with doesn't want to share that bottle of wine, or have a margarita with me, it just takes some of the fun out of my own drinking. This matters much less to me when I am in a larger group.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004



Faithless posted:

Alcohol is gross I don't know how anyone can drink it. The only drink I can stomach is Bacardi breezers but even then only a couple. Plus who wants to be some drunk guy being all

"Yo brah whatsup"

Did you know most rapes happen when alcohol is involved?

Go back to YCS/HD2K/BYOB

Noblesse Oblige
Mar 21, 2008

It don't mean a thing,
If it ain't got that swing.


Usually it's not the not wanting to drink part that puts off people, but the annoying self-righteousness and condescension that often accompanies it. I'm not saying that you do this and I've certainly met many people who don't, but it's not rare at all in my experience.

Furthermore, one of the draws of getting drunk is to be in a relaxed social situation where it's okay to be a bit stupider than normal, but when there are sober people present, through no fault of the sober people, it does make the drinkers a bit more self-conscious. This may be why you may find some of the drinkers shy away a bit more from you when you're not drinking as well; they don't want to make some drunken slip when your memory is still crystal clear whereas another who does drink probably won't even notice.

In the end though, it's your life and choice. If you don't want to drink, don't.

BustedFlush
Oct 9, 2008


Now? No, but I'm 39.

At 24? It might have been a bit different.

I still feel weird around someone that's never had a drink, I guess. I mean, I wouldn't ask, but if it came up in conversation, I would think that would be a little creepy.

Wench
Aug 8, 2000
MONITOR != TOUCHSCREEN. DO NOT TOUCH THE MONITOR

It doesn't bother me unless they get preachy about it in any way. I don't criticize your choice to not drink, don't criticize mine to imbibe. Yes, that includes the pointed looks, sighs, and superior attitude.

As for friends who don't drink, I've noticed that other people always assume that they're the designated driver as well. I try not to make that assumption, and at the very least ask them if they're willing to drive if necessary, with the understanding that if they say no, it's fine. Usually it doesn't come up; living in a city with public transport and plenty of cabs solves that problem handily.

Women's Rights?
Nov 16, 2005

Ain't give a damn


Wench posted:

It doesn't bother me unless they get preachy about it in any way. I don't criticize your choice to not drink, don't criticize mine to imbibe. Yes, that includes the pointed looks, sighs, and superior attitude.

Yeah those people are jerks. I don't drink but if I'm out to dinner with someone and they want to have a few drinks I'm not gonna say anything about it or make them feel self-conscious. If someone asks if I want to split a bottle of wine I usually just say "Oh I have to work early tomorrow" or something, not "I don't drink *smug sniff* but if YOU want to then I suppose you can."

The only time I'd say anything would be if the person was passing the "Wheeee I'm drunk!" stage into the "I've just vomitted all over myself and have passed out" stage, but I'd expect any reasonable person to step in at that point.

schmitty9800
Feb 9, 2003



I don't understand anyone's aversion to designated driving; if I'm staying sober I always offer to drive people. It doesn't always have to be your car. If you don't want to drive at all, then how were you going to get to where you're going in the first place?

At best you're putting people out for cab fare, at worst they could get behind the wheel and cause an accident.

Cutty
Jun 9, 2006

checkmeat


Noblesse Oblige posted:

Usually it's not the not wanting to drink part that puts off people, but the annoying self-righteousness and condescension that often accompanies it.

This, pretty much. It's only happened a couple of times that I've seen, but getting self-righteous about your piousness with alcohol around a group of drunk guys that like to fight is like telling a room full of bulls that you only wear red because it flatters your figure.

I have a couple friends who don't drink, but they don't make it a big deal. Now I'm the one that's not drinking, and I'm seeing the other side. I usually just end up going to the bar to order my drinks separately.

Hybridfusion
Apr 12, 2005

Butt


I don't feel guilty about assuming the non-drinking person will be the designated driver at all. If you are going to accompany my friends and me out to a bar / place of drinking and you are not going to be drinking, well poo poo, you are the designated driver by default. That is how it works. I have a few friends who don't drink and they have never complained. If it bothers them then they should stop coming. I chip in my gas money or buy them a lunch or whatever, it's not totally one sided.

NoCleverName
Nov 16, 2006



Hybridfusion posted:

I don't feel guilty about assuming the non-drinking person will be the designated driver at all. If you are going to accompany my friends and me out to a bar / place of drinking and you are not going to be drinking, well poo poo, you are the designated driver by default. That is how it works. I have a few friends who don't drink and they have never complained. If it bothers them then they should stop coming. I chip in my gas money or buy them a lunch or whatever, it's not totally one sided.

Yeah, if you're not drinking and refuse to drive even if people chip in for gas or whatever, you're being a pretty big prick. There are, of course, exceptions but why not drive if you're not drinking?

Zapf Dingbat
Jan 9, 2001


I used to be the guy who didn't drink for no "good" reason, but it ended up making me feel more awkward. Now I'm such a fricking snob about what good taste I have I was probably better off sober.

And I rarely get drunk enough not to drive. I usually have that one glass of wine or bottle of strong beer to loosen up where I'm not such an uptight a-hole anymore.

It does make me feel a little weird when I'm out with someone who doesn't drink, but only because the type of people I've met who don't drink are usually extremely nervous or self-aware about it like I used to be, and it makes me nervous by extension.

Devil Wears Wings
Jul 17, 2006

Deals in Pac, not opinion.

In my experience, those who don't drink to the point where they won't even have a small glass of wine with dinner or what-have-you when everyone else is tend to fall into three categories:

1) Those who have a legit reason. (Medical reason; recovering alcoholic; grew up with an abusive alcoholic father; etc. Even if one doesn't like the taste of ethanol, that's fine).

2) Religious nuts.

3) People who have no reason beyond being annoyingly smug and self-righteous. (E.g., "I would never willingly put poison in my body;" "Why would I want to drink something that makes me stupider?") These people also tend to be annoyingly smug, self-righteous, and narcissistic in general.

Category (1) is usually polite enough to just say, "no thanks, I don't drink, hey bartender can I have a Coke?" But if someone starts to harp on the point beyond that, then it's a sign that they're one of the other two, and thus that I really don't want to associate with them.

Jummy
Jun 14, 2007

Oh, my love, my darling.


Devil Wears Wings posted:

In my experience, those who don't drink to the point where they won't even have a small glass of wine with dinner or what-have-you when everyone else is tend to fall into three categories:

1) Those who have a legit reason. (Medical reason; recovering alcoholic; grew up with an abusive alcoholic father; etc. Even if one doesn't like the taste of ethanol, that's fine).

This is me right here. My dad drove drunk and almost killed himself (didn't hurt anyone else, thankfully) and both my parents have had problems with it aside from that one incident so even though I'll turn 26 in about two months, I've never had a single drop of alcohol. I've never had a problem with this, or with anyone because of it, I've been asked to drink before but when I say I don't drink, that's the end of it. I don't get all self-righteous and act like a douche so I don't get treated like one. Just don't be an rear end in a top hat and people will treat you right, drinking or not.

V-Men
Aug 15, 2001

Don't it make your dick bust concrete to be in the same room with two noble, selfless public servants.

But, but then again I have Mormon friends so it's not terribly unusual. To me, it's about the same as being around vegetarians or almost vegans. My response is usually, "Okay."

Malalol
Apr 4, 2007

I spent $1,000 on my computer but I'm too "poor" to take my dog or any of my animals to the vet for vet care. My neglect caused 1 of my birds to die prematurely! My dog pisses everywhere! I don't care! I'm a piece of shit! Don't believe me? Check my post history in Pet Island!


I can sorta see it being weird when its a group of friends all getting drunk and bein silly in that drunk way while that one person is all superseriousIHATEALCOHOL and being a giant stick in the mud.
Doesn't bother me though, haven't encountered any situations that got awkward with someone refusing to drink. Friends are friends :P
e: Its also not very fun for people who ARE drinking to nag 'Oh come on! Why dont you want to, youre just bein a pussy, etc'

Malalol fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2009 around 22:06

coyo7e
Aug 23, 2007


I didn't ask for this Coyote myth.

It's only really awkward when the non-drinker is a prude, or when the drunk people have a suspicion that they have a drinking problem.. Alcoholics don't like sober people very much.

HClChicken
Aug 15, 2005

Highly trained by the US military at expedient semen processing.


I usually only drink when I'm cooking or at a bar at 12 at night playing pool with friends. I don't think it's weird for you not to drink, in fact I probably drink the least of all my friends and co-workers. Plus it's kind of nice if you over to drive home.

Plus comments like, geez how much have you drank, aren't very cool.

breakfall87
Apr 22, 2004
ABunch7587's little bitch

I know a couple of nondrinkers who can be fun when no drinking is involved but when it is they are total downers. Like previously mentioned, there's something great about slinging back some brewhas with the brohas because everyone relaxes social constraints and becomes more open. I've known people who just recede from the conversation and quietly observe, leading everyone to think they are secretly judging us etc, etc.

I've never encountered preachy nondrinkers because I just naturally don't associate with that kind of person.

I for one never feel guilty making the nondrinker drive if there isn't another viable alternative and they have no excuse. You have to be extremely naive to go out with people who drink and not think they are going to expect you to DD. While yes, it's nice of us to ask, if you don't want to or are gonna make a fuss, then just don't come. I agree with the sentiment that you are a loving prick if you go out and refuse to DD without a legit reason.

Personally, I don't accept the "I just don't" explanation for not drinking. There is always a reason. Either get over your problems and come function with the rest of us or say why you don't. Hell, just say you had a bad experience, that's good enough for me.

Another motivation behind not chilling with nondrinkers is being inebriated puts you in a unique state of mind that can only be understood by other drinkers. If you're ever high or trippin' balls, it is always better to be with people in the same state of mind due to a hidden understanding you have between each other.

breakfall87 fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2009 around 22:21

coyo7e
Aug 23, 2007


I didn't ask for this Coyote myth.

coyo7e posted:

Alcoholics don't like sober people very much.
I rest my case, with the poster above me driving home the point. How could any sane person just "not accept" someone else's lifestyle choice? That's hosed up, man.

breakfall87
Apr 22, 2004
ABunch7587's little bitch

coyo7e posted:

I rest my case, with the poster above me driving home the point. How could any sane person just "not accept" someone else's lifestyle choice? That's hosed up, man.

Now I'm no alcoholic, far from it. Implying that I'm insane might be a little excessive on your part.

Like you said, it's a lifestyle choice, implying that it was an active decision that required reasons to be made. All I want to know is the reason behind it. you don't have to tell me your life story, all you have to say is "I don't like the taste" or "family history" or "medical condition." I mean what have you got to hide?

Why doesn't everyone wear leather pants? It's not a matter of "they just don't," it's more "well they aren't as comfortable as rockstars make them look and I can't really pull them off with this figure."

The only people who I can imagine are people who do things with no reason at all behind them must be completely and utterly insane in a menace to society kind of way.

Devil Wears Wings
Jul 17, 2006

Deals in Pac, not opinion.

breakfall87 posted:

Now I'm no alcoholic, far from it. Implying that I'm insane might be a little excessive on your part.

Like you said, it's a lifestyle choice, implying that it was an active decision that required reasons to be made. All I want to know is the reason behind it. you don't have to tell me your life story, all you have to say is "I don't like the taste" or "family history" or "medical condition." I mean what have you got to hide?

Why doesn't everyone wear leather pants? It's not a matter of "they just don't," it's more "well they aren't as comfortable as rockstars make them look and I can't really pull them off with this figure."

The only people who I can imagine are people who do things with no reason at all behind them must be completely and utterly insane in a menace to society kind of way.

Yeah you're kind of an rear end in a top hat. Perhaps the person would rather just not drink and not be pestered by malcontents with some nonsensical urge to know the reasons behind their actions that don't affect you at all?

breakfall87
Apr 22, 2004
ABunch7587's little bitch

Devil Wears Wings posted:

Yeah you're kind of an rear end in a top hat. Perhaps the person would rather just not drink and not be pestered by malcontents with some nonsensical urge to know the reasons behind their actions that don't affect you at all?

It's not like I'm holding them down yelling "WHY THE gently caress DON'T YOU DRINK?!" I'm not going to go up to random people at a bar with a glass of water and ask them either. I'll ask people who I've known for a little bit so I can understand more about them, I think most people refer to it as "getting to know somebody."

All I do is politely say, "If you don't mind me asking, why don't you drink?" to satisfy my curiosity. If my other posts make you think otherwise, go right ahead, but this is the only way I have ever approached the situation. Be as vague as you like, say "personal reasons," that's enough for me to understand you don't want to talk about it.

If you say something like "none of your business," then you're being an rear end in a top hat, and our conversations will probably not move passed this point.

Rhorlex
Sep 21, 2006


But drinking is very often social by nature, and when someone isn't participating in the social drinking it raises questions. Drunks are also pretty curious, especially if you refuse an answer, and given that they are "loosened up" a bit the need for being tactful around a potentially personal choice is lost.

Personally I agree, I can't stand it when someone won't say why they don't drink. It makes me feel like they are not drinking just to be better than those of us drinking. All it takes is a simple response, but no response I consider a bit rude.

TB-303 Player
Dec 3, 2008

BOOTS and PANTS and
BOOTS and PANTS and

Devil Wears Wings posted:

In my experience, those who don't drink to the point where they won't even have a small glass of wine with dinner or what-have-you when everyone else is tend to fall into three categories:

1) Those who have a legit reason. (Medical reason; recovering alcoholic; grew up with an abusive alcoholic father; etc. Even if one doesn't like the taste of ethanol, that's fine).

2) Religious nuts.

3) People who have no reason beyond being annoyingly smug and self-righteous. (E.g., "I would never willingly put poison in my body;" "Why would I want to drink something that makes me stupider?") These people also tend to be annoyingly smug, self-righteous, and narcissistic in general.

Category (1) is usually polite enough to just say, "no thanks, I don't drink, hey bartender can I have a Coke?" But if someone starts to harp on the point beyond that, then it's a sign that they're one of the other two, and thus that I really don't want to associate with them.

Echoing this. One of my best friends doesn't drink. I'm a bit of a professional drinker. The only degree of awkwardness that comes out of it I feel is that buying your buddy a coke at the bar just doesn't have the same "c'mon, man, you're alright by me" social association that buying them a beer does.

The bartenders at my usual haunts echo this as well. They love their category 1 non-drinkers but generally want the category 2/3 ones to get the hell out of their establishment if they're going to be crazy vocal about it.

Noblesse Oblige
Mar 21, 2008

It don't mean a thing,
If it ain't got that swing.


Rhorlex posted:

But drinking is very often social by nature, and when someone isn't participating in the social drinking it raises questions. Drunks are also pretty curious, especially if you refuse an answer, and given that they are "loosened up" a bit the need for being tactful around a potentially personal choice is lost.

Personally I agree, I can't stand it when someone won't say why they don't drink. It makes me feel like they are not drinking just to be better than those of us drinking. All it takes is a simple response, but no response I consider a bit rude.

I think a complete lack of response is quite rude, but it's probably even more rude to let the conversation get to such an extent that the question would be treated in that way. Either way, it'll probably never come up because most people, even drunk people, are still tactful enough not to be that way unless they're assholes.

Wench
Aug 8, 2000
MONITOR != TOUCHSCREEN. DO NOT TOUCH THE MONITOR

breakfall87 posted:

If you say something like "none of your business," then you're being an rear end in a top hat, and our conversations will probably not move passed this point.
Except that it really is none of your business. You may want to know. That's fine, I can understand curiosity. But no one is obligated to tell you. And to get pissy when people don't tell you things that aren't any of your business makes you a kind of rear end in a top hat.

KarmaCandy
Jan 14, 2006


I can't imagine being annoyed at someone for not having something to drink over dinner or when we're just out to have a couple drinks. If we're going out to get drunk and someone's being judgmental about it or just won't participate in the non-alcohol related activity since they're not drunk (say, they don't like to dance and we're all dancing because we're drunk and they're sitting on the sidelines looking annoyed and bored or something. If they've found something else to do while we dance, it's fine.) then that's a bit of a mood killer.

Also, people who don't drink that still want to play drinking games are a pain. Mostly in regards to drinking game that have no real point other than drinking - I can see why you'd want to play beer pong and pass your drink on to someone else or fill a cup with water, at least it's fun, but if you insist on playing a game that consists only of guessing "higher" or "lower" and you're not drinking, that can really kill the game when it gets stuck on you and no 'punishments' are given out. I've met a lot of girls who do this.

brad industry
May 22, 2004


I think it's weird in the sense that I just automatically assume that everyone drinks. Like tonight I am going to have dinner at a friend's place who used to have a drinking problem, which I always forget about. My immediate thought was, "Well he's cooking a nice dinner, I should bring a bottle of wine" but then realized that would be inappropriate. I obviously totally understand, dude was an alcoholic, it's just kind of a bummer because sharing dinner and a glass of wine with friends is one of life's simple pleasures.

It's also just one of those social things, ie. "Thanks for helping me out, I owe you a beer sometime". I could care less if someone doesn't want to drink, it just seems so routine and a normal part of human interaction that when someone doesn't it catches me off guard. I mean, you can't really go get coffee at 11PM.

Reason
Sep 10, 2006


I drink, I had a room mate for three years that didn't. In the end he was more self conscious about it than other people thought it was weird. I've noticed that some people who don't drink seem to think this is some thing that makes them better and is a huge part of who they are and are compelled let everyone within a mile know "NO I DON'T DRINK AND THIS MAKES ME BETTER THAN YOU". When people are asking you if you want a drink or why you aren't drinking they are just being nice, and curious and possibly want to have a conversation with you, they don't want you to look down on them or act defensively about it.

WhiskeyTits
Aug 23, 2007


My wife doesn't drink and I hate her for it.

Leviathan
Oct 8, 2001

I hear the jury's
still out.. on science.


I really can't understand people who don't drink but who aren't sick, aren't religious or have a relative/friend who is an alcoholic. I guess it's cause I think not liking alcohol is kinda like not liking fruits/vegetables. Both are usually delicious and pretty good for you in moderation.

breakfall87
Apr 22, 2004
ABunch7587's little bitch

Wench posted:

Except that it really is none of your business. You may want to know. That's fine, I can understand curiosity. But no one is obligated to tell you. And to get pissy when people don't tell you things that aren't any of your business makes you a kind of rear end in a top hat.

You're missing what I'm getting at here. If I'm politely asking then it's only natural to expect a polite response. The phrase "none of your business" isn't exactly polite, whether it's true or not. There are other ways to give a response that doesn't answer my question that aren't rude, and I will respect it if they'd rather not talk about it. I'd only react negatively to a rude response.

I'm sure they get the question all the time and might be growing tired of being asked, but honestly, what do they expect? If you're going to stand out then it's going to get people's attention, whether you want it to or not.

I'm also in the group of people who assume everyone drinks. Growing up, the only reason why you didn't drink is because you were too young, and by the time you were a senior in high school, everyone in your class had gotten hammered together at least once. So naturally, nondrinkers are a bit of a curiosity to me, as the only ones I had ever known were recovering alcoholics and people under 16.

I met two in college, and that was it, and both were more than happy to to give me their reasoning behind it. Everyone we met together asked them or someone would out of the blue say "This is Jenn/Jules, they don't drink," which I always found to be kind of uncouth.

Maultaschen
Jan 19, 2004



To me, someone who doesn't drink but will hang out with their friends at a bar is equivalent to the vegan who will follow their friends to a burger joint directly afterwards. They're both fish out of water, but as long as they're fun to be around, I don't mind. I do usually feel strange/awkward that this person I'm with can't possibly have the same experience here that I'm having - whether that be imbibing alcohol in a bar or eating a burger in a fast food place.

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RyanNotBrian
Nov 28, 2005

Always five, acting as one. Dedicated! Inseparable! Invincible!

I drink very little, and only with close friends over a meal. One of my pet peeves are the constant conversations that go like this when I'm out at a bar or something:

Them: Hey RyanNotBrian can I get you a drink?
Me: No thanks
Them: How about a soft drink, Coke, juice, water?
Me (In my head): Oh you mean those are drinks too? Well I never!

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