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MatrixSchmatrix
Jul 1, 2006



dude's got like 50 posts and they're all in the frontpage forum

Camanator posted:

Maybe that was what turned me off from your articles from the start. When you are confronted by a paragraph that fills your entire screen, your index finger frantically stroking the scroll wheel, seeking relief from the endless wall of words, and finding none. Or maybe it was the fact that you were brought onto the Front Page Comedy Team at a time when Lowtax was writing fewer updates, causing your articles to continually be read contrasted with Lowtax's superior style.

Or maybe it was because you weren't very funny.

However, I am sure your writing has improved, as everyone's usually does. Do you have any current stuff you've written? I would be interested in reading it. Hope you don't mind me mocking your work on the internet. I'm sure in person you are on OK guy.

Camanator posted:

Greasin, I am so sorry that we can never be together. If I knew the pain my words would cause, I never would have typed them with my foolish, foolish fingers. Oh how I hate those fingers.

Also, I wrote you this song:


An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven and put me through hell.
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free.

Shot through the heart,
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part, and you play your game
You give love a bad name.
You give love a bad name.

camanator posted:

hoodrow trillson posted:


maxnmona is, even beyond the world of internet humor writing, legitimately a really good writer, and he's gonna do bigger and better things. you guys are gonna see oprah pitching his book in a couple years. so cry not for maxnmona!

the guy who's replacing him is also a goddamn genius, so you've got that to look forward to.


And then we have you, the Andy Kaufman of the internet. I wish you would write a funny article for once! I mean, you wrote that gross one about your deformed genitals. I wish you would keep your private area out of my Internet Explorer. And out of my head!

camantor posted:

I awoke this morning, panting with excitement as I approached my computer screen. I desire, I need, I require the attention I draw from this forum, it is my life, my very purpose for existence. Everything else in my life is in shambles, pain, misery. Only here am I complete. And now, your words of pain have taken that from me.

Nothing is left to me. All is pain, all is gone. Vanished, vanquished, annihilated.

(Sorry, I couldn't think of another "V" word that had to do with stuff going away. Don't criticize me.)

Camanator posted:

It appears you have uncovered my devious scheme from the beginning, so I might as well just come out of the closet on this issue. LOWTAX: You need to get rid of the ZEROS you have writing for you, and hire me, a true comedy HERO. (Once I karate kicked a robot Nazi, right in the robot groin)

(Challenge: can you find the funny in this post?[HINT: it has everything to do with using bold word and putting hilarious, random comments in parenthesis!])

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madprocess
Sep 23, 2004

by Ozmaugh


is camantor a spokkerjones alt?

NineInchRails
Dec 10, 2008

by The Finn


my index finger frantically stroking the scroll wheel, seeking relief from the endless wall of words, and finding none

Fracturus Cactusmas
Sep 5, 2006


Wow you found a pathetic person who coincidentally reads the front page every day, what're the odds?


Just joking, he's pretty pathetic, thanks for bringing attention, my hand is convulsing with the anticipation of his next post, I cannot breath until he decides to, my locus of control is firmly in his hands.

Petey
Nov 25, 2005

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but the Patriots secondary happeneth to them all.

- Ecclesiastes

madprocess posted:

is camantor a spokkerjones alt?

that's my guess

based on nothing but a certain all too familiar unfunniness

Fiveace Attorney
Dec 12, 2006

I ain't his friend! If you were to ask me if I was his friend, I would say "NO" to you!


NineInchRails posted:

my index finger frantically stroking the scroll wheel, seeking relief from the endless wall of words, and finding none
tier zero

Fracturus Cactusmas
Sep 5, 2006


I didn't know Spokker was obsessed with Joan Jett, doesn't he know shes a lezzy?

MatrixSchmatrix
Jul 1, 2006



Petey posted:

that's my guess

based on nothing but a certain all too familiar unfunniness

honestly who else on earth posts on this site and thinks danny manic isn't funny

The Arsteia
Nov 17, 2008



if hes not spokkenjones and is some rando dude then this guy owns

MatrixSchmatrix
Jul 1, 2006



The Arsteia posted:

if hes not spokkenjones and is some rando dude then this guy owns

what if he is spokkerjones

The Arsteia
Nov 17, 2008



MatrixSchmatrix posted:

what if he is spokkerjones

then hes Gay. sorry all

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

theres a front page.... forum?!?!

NineInchRails
Dec 10, 2008

by The Finn


do people actually still read somethingawful

Epitome
Apr 14, 2003
IF ONLY THE TIGER HAD KILLED MY WORTHLESS ASS INSTEAD

I read a paragraph yesterday and then had to down half a bottle of rum

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007



so he is trying to get hired to write for the front page by saying how much everyone who writes on it sucks, except for lowtax, who is jesus

Petey
Nov 25, 2005

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but the Patriots secondary happeneth to them all.

- Ecclesiastes

i'm not sure tbqh

sexual Norm
Aug 23, 2007

It's like shaking hands with a professional armwrestler.

MatrixSchmatrix posted:

honestly who else on earth posts on this site and thinks danny manic isn't funny

a guy who hates andy kaufman

nationalism
Feb 25, 2006

"not gay"


i think he is a good guy. umm if i coudl take a second to explain his humor to you guys, i guess the best term would be a term us "goons" invented: fakeposter. he was the fakeposter. of. real. life.

a appropriate emote
Dec 24, 2008

 


NineInchRails posted:

do people actually still read somethingawful

p quality

Petey
Nov 25, 2005

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but the Patriots secondary happeneth to them all.

- Ecclesiastes

NineInchRails posted:

do people actually still read somethingawful

if you haven't been reading roamin' dad you've been wrong

Arnold Layne
Nov 4, 2008



roamin dad is utter poo poo barkwire is where its at

YO MAMA HEAD
Sep 11, 2007



i only read Garbage Day by Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller & the ROM Pit.

Petey
Nov 25, 2005

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but the Patriots secondary happeneth to them all.

- Ecclesiastes

Arnold Layne posted:

roamin dad is utter poo poo barkwire is where its at

*draws sword*

have at u

Male. Bi. Unix.
Mar 2, 2007



fat mexican disneyland trains bitches

NineInchRails
Dec 10, 2008

by The Finn


those guides were loving hilarious back in the earlier days. now that i think about it pretty much all lowtax-authored content was spot on.

Sebadoh Gigante
Jun 28, 2008



http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0#post357177409

PROBATION 02/25/09 11:48pm Camanator

Fagging up the forums. User loses posting privileges for 1 month.

DocEvil DocEvil

GriszledMelkaba
Sep 4, 2003


What happened to garbage day

nationalism
Feb 25, 2006

"not gay"


finn runs everything south of ask tell

GriszledMelkaba
Sep 4, 2003


He should appoint someone to run garbage day

nationalism
Feb 25, 2006

"not gay"


yes.. .a garbage "man" if you will

GriszledMelkaba
Sep 4, 2003


garbage person plz

nationalism
Feb 25, 2006

"not gay"


hah i woul like to see a woman run garbage day. she will be tallying votes and then forget she left the meatloaf in the oven! and the gossip! talk talk talk

GriszledMelkaba
Sep 4, 2003


FsstGrrl for helldump mod

Jubilee
Dec 25, 2008

Heaven.


Way Past Cool! posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0#post357177409

PROBATION 02/25/09 11:48pm Camanator

Fagging up the forums. User loses posting privileges for 1 month.

DocEvil DocEvil

jesus, there it is: the worst thread.

Perfect Gentleman
Mar 15, 2007


he was pretty funny in that gandalf raping day video. he was samwise

Getafix
Jan 19, 2007

by T. Couchfucker


care -> . .<-me

Mr. Camanator
Feb 19, 2007

by mons all madden


Howdy guys, just an update on my status: I am back in the forums, and I'm more awesome than ever!

I'm glad you enjoyed the laughs I brought to the table. Although 100% of what I write here on my typer is 100% serious, I am somewhat pleased that you were able to derive some humor from it.

Also, who is this "spokkerjones" you speak of? I "guarantee" you that I know of no such person, and how could I be that person since I don't know who he is? That would be quite the conundrum!

The Mikado
Sep 10, 2007



Be funny Spokker

Goatstein
Dec 4, 2006



you suck spokkerjones

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MatrixSchmatrix
Jul 1, 2006



meta-inter double irony or just gay? hrm. deep questions.

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