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drinkin ur gfs milk
Jan 2, 2005

by Tiny Fistpump
Director: Alex Proyas
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne


Nicolas Cage stars as an MIT professor who's son's class takes part in a capsule-opening ceremony. The capsule contains a letter with dates of all major disasters in the last 50 years, with several dates of events that haven't yet happened.

Typical end of the world fare, with a gripping musical score and mind-blowing special effects. A couple scenes are over-the-top in their violence and pure mayhem, but overall it was an intense thriller with great pacing. One word to describe this film? Pandemonium. Plus there are a lot of unintentionally hilarious moments such as a moose on fire. Aside from an underhanded religious reference it was a completely enjoyable movie experience. Would strongly recommend this movie to any self-medicating buddies :350:

4/5

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Bulbous Goiter
Sep 15, 2003
Whatchu' Talkin Bout?
Nicholas Cage's acting is annoying, and it stands out more in this flim due to the storyline being so dull and pointless. He basically played the same character he always does in films, which works fine for movies like National Treasure, but has no place in a film that is trying to be serious. The movie theatre erupted in laughter in all his major "serious and intense" scenes, like when he hits the tree with the baseball bat and waves the gun at the whisperer. These weren't meant to be funny scenes.

The action scenes involving the plane and subway were great but the rest of the film was tedious and the storyline was pointless and stupid. For an MIT professor Nicholas Cage's character was an idiot..

Wish someone from 50 years ago had written a list of poo poo movies so I would know not to see this.

PROS: 2 Action scenes
CONS: Everything else

2/10 (1 for each action scene)

OilSlick
Dec 29, 2005

Population: Buscuit
Nicholas Cage comes across a piece of paper full of numbers. He later determines that they appear to represent the dates of major disasters, the number of fatalities, and their coordinates. Not as much discovery and neat mysteries as I was expecting, nor were there really any major clever revelations.

The movie starts out pretty weak, and focuses quite a bit on some annoying and uninteresting kids which really drags the film down. Any other part that isn't plot building or action sequences isn't much better, ranging from awkward to bland. Some miscellaneous stuff doesn't make sense, and I thought the Strangers were a bit cliche.

However, once the disaster scenes start, the movie kicks you in the balls to make sure you're paying attention. The disaster scenes are truly hosed up and actually pretty disturbing.

I'm not sure how I feel about the ending, but I did feel it was pretty powerful and depressing near the end.

Oh, and don't piss of the Sun.

3.5/5

CaptainHollywood
Feb 29, 2008


I am an awesome guy and I love to make out during shitty Hollywood horror movies. I am a trendwhore!
It's been said already but the movie by the end does feel like a Twilight Zone episode. While I can't strongly recommend it, it's solid enough and has a few really good scenes. I can understand both the hate and the praises, and I fall in between. The ending also goes against the grain of a typical Hollywood disaster movie, and that alone separates it from previous from movies like Day After Tomorrow.
3.5/5

Jedah
Sep 1, 2001

YOU CAN NOT BUST THE KRUST
It's really hard to stay positive here. It's hard to do a disaster movie.

This film's pacing was absolutely atrocious. You spend 20-30 minutes in boring and slow exposition scenes, and the pay off is a totally over the top mass death sequence. I can't believe this got the PG-13 rating. Also there were tons of not-so-subtle references to 9/11, and the themes it brought up within American society, and this felt very awkward. Everything felt planted and predictable.

Honestly, it felt like a combination of all the worst sci-fi/thrillers of the last few years plus a very lame religious angle to tie it all together. It was better than The Happening (yuck), but worse than The Day After Tomorrow (decent), and far inferior to 28 Days Later.

Nick Cage did not do a very good job of pulling me into the story. The acting was pretty bad, I remember he delivered this one line: "I know how you feel" during a private conversation with the supporting actress. It was said in the most monotone, deadpan way, and his facial expressions are just silly sometimes. I couldn't help but laugh. He fits better in CON-AIR.

The most exciting thing about this movie is that it was shot on the RED, and shows off the potential cinematography for future CG-heavy feature films. The money shot CG sequences looked good. I'll give it a 2/5 just for that.

The ending was overdramatic, but I guess that's the nature of the genre.

Laminator
Jan 18, 2004

You up for some serious plastic surgery?
I have to agree with Jedah, I disliked this movie very much (hate is too strong, I laughed at some parts). While I was watching the movie, my girlfriend and I tried to figure out what other movies this one drew on for inspiration: The Number 23, A beautiful Mind, Signs, The Happening, Close Encounters, etc etc.

The acting was poor, the plot was predictable, bad experience overall.

1/5

Also apparently aliens are mute members of a German metal band??

Virtual Russian
Sep 15, 2008

I'll try not to just keep saying what everyone was saying...

The acting is terrible, everything seems incredibly forced. The characters are very typical. You've got your usual hysterical women. All she does is scream and cry and do her best to act helpless and set Nicolas Cage back. This gets pretty irritating. You've got the 8 year old who is wise way beyond his years. I really think the bit where Nicolas Cage tells his son that he needs to take care of Abby now is pretty misogynistic. He flat out says that his son is a man and needs to protect Abby and be strong for her.

The plot is surprisingly strong and could have been the foundation of a solid movie. The Alien-God stuff really wreaks it though. If you could somehow explian the little girls predictions without aliens and God stuff you'd have a neat movie.

Overall I felt cheated out of my admission, I laughed at the bad acting, but thats not worth my money.

1/5: Worth a bit of a laugh and a decent plot idea. Terrible acting and gimmicky ending.

Biscuit McClure
Dec 24, 2004

Which other rubes are riding hot shot sugar?
I don't even know where to start. This movie was very powerful. Me and my girlfriend put it on expecting something light, a casual action affair with Nicolas Cage playing a professor and romping around in search of clues ala National Treasure. We were then treated to something closer to an over the top M. Night Shyamalan film with truly graphic illustrations of the intense experiences of disasters. The scene with the plane crash was really very disturbing and it definitely changes my tune regarding the movie as a whole as it was very impacting.

The whole religion angle seemed tacked on and demonized atheists as bitter, negative and self-destructive people which I didn't really settle with well. Also what the hell was up with the Aliengels?. The main guy was creepy as gently caress but the explanation for what happened was really quite bizarre. It's not even as if the children were good specimens for Adam and Eve. The kid was like, half-deaf. He'd be fully deaf once his hearing aid runs out of power on that alien planet. This movie just made me say "what the gently caress?" a lot at the TV.

2.5/5

supernothing
May 18, 2004
Buy me a custom title
My mom had been playing this movie up to me for a LONG LONG time.

Normally, I am a fan of Nicholas Cage, mostly because in just about every movie he is in his "character", which is the same one he plays in every movie, has trouble interacting with individuals.

I was at Wal-Mart and saw a Redbox and decided to rent this, and take it home and watch it tonight. Let me tell you, this is the worst piece of poo poo movie I have ever seen. Normally I will sit through anything with no problem, but I was debating turning this off.

The plot was promising, but as usual, Cage finds a way to gently caress it up, and then this becomes a shitfest of plot holes and whatnot, and it doesn't make a drat bit of sense.

Also, when the kids go to the alien planet to restart the race, wouldn't their kids have to gently caress each other??

It was only a dollar rental, but I feel raped and abused. Tomorrow at work is going to be horrible.


1/5, but I wish 0/5 were possible.

deemaunik
Mar 9, 2004
PYF HAS QUALITY STANDARDS AND I SHALL UPHOLD THEM! IT IS MY DIVINE DUTY, ORDAINED BY THE INTERNET GODS! QUAKE BEFORE ME, SHITPOSTERS!
It was entertaining enough. Apocalyptic with a relatively interesting plot and an ending that could be mistaken for happy. It's not an amazing flic, but it's worth the watch and it has it's moments. 3/5.

HampHamp
Oct 30, 2006
I thought this film was terrible; acting was laughable, the CG (which I've heard some people consider the only redeeming feature of the movie) was appaling, especially the flame effects. The pacing was abysmal, the aliens looked like Vanilla Ice, even the soundtrack got on my tits early on. I hated this movie.

1/5

edit: I'm not sure how to spell appaling.

HampHamp fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Jul 17, 2009

Shammypants
May 25, 2004

Let me tell you about true luxury.

I actually enjoyed this movie. Yes it was predictable and yes Nicholas Cage does find ways to gently caress the movie up. However, it was a fun movie with an enjoyable conclusion and would have been more enjoyable if we never saw where the children ended up.

Science fiction as a genre requires that you suspend belief, ignore plot holes and try to enjoy yourself without taking everything so seriously. That is why SciFi doesn't win serious awards for acting or plot. It's funny to see certain movies praised as the gold standard for the genre here when they were just as bad in terms of plot holes, bad acting and lagging scripts. Criticizing a science fiction movie for being unrealistic and having bad acting is just as irritating and pointless as criticizing historical action movies for not being perfectly accurate. *Puts on monocle and top hat and shakes his finger at Gladiator*

In the end, I found the movie to be an enjoyable turn your brain off thriller that captured the fear and stupidity of human beings in the face of certain disaster.

4/5

Colt Cannon
Aug 11, 2000

I really enjoyed this movie. There were parts where it felt a bit dragged out, but I always enjoy end of the world movies.

If you also enjoy end of the world films, then I suggest you go check it out. If you do not like those types of movies then stay away.

Also if you hate Nicholas Cage, being Nicholas Cage, then really stay away.

3.5/5

Tai-Pan
Feb 10, 2001
There were a whole lot of interesting elements in this movie that added up to a whole lot of nothing.

There were so many freakish plot issues
1)Why did they inject pre-cognition into one girl in 1940?
2)Why the rocks?
3)Why the religious angle?
4)Who/what were the aliens?
5)You need more than adam and eve.
I could go on forever.


1.5/5

Satone
Feb 10, 2007
Good to the last drop
I liked the atmosphere in this movie, it had a really crazy, apocalyptic, and creepy feel to it. The disaster scenes are some pretty hosed up, chaotic poo poo. Also when they're creeping around the crazy bitch's house, and they found EVERYONE ELSE carved into the bottom of the bed, that was a pretty good moment

But at the same time Nick Cage's acting was pretty bad. The movie could have been alot better with someone else. And the religious bullshit at the end felt a bit like a betrayal; like some Christian propagandist jackass, snuck into the studio on the last day of shooting, clubbed the director over the head, rewrote the end of the script and finished the film himself.

Pro's: Great atmosphere, crazy poo poo disaster scenes.
Con's: Nicholas Cage has lost the ability to act out of lovely Disney movies. Religious bullshit at the end is irritating.

3.0

^^^The end implies the aliens are actually angels. Albeit nothing like what people usually think of angels as.

I can only guess that the black rocks are a reference to Islam. They believe that an ancient black rock, found centuries ago in a place with no others like it fell from Paradise

Jummy
Jun 14, 2007

Oh, my love, my darling.
Just finished watching it, and it was decidedly average. Nick Cage does his best to ruin it, but it's an interesting enough story that it survives him. Decent special effects, but clearly the director has some sort of fire fetish. I was confused at the end when I couldn't figure out how human life was supposed to continue with just those two kids, but if you pay attention there are quite a few ships that take off from Earth and from the new planet.

3/5.

brylcreem
Oct 29, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
What a piece of crap!

The acting was bad, the plot was somewhat interesting to start with, but it got dragged doooooown a lot in boring scene after boring scene.

At the end when the alien ship came down, I literally went "WHAT THE gently caress?!" at the screen, it was that bad/hilarious.

The special effects were pretty mediocre and the creepy atmosphere from the beginning of the movie went away half an hour in.

I would not recommend this.

2/5

Retarted Pimple
Jun 2, 2002

I thought it was decent enough up to the end, not great but watchable. Cage was wooden as always. The end was laughable and we heard a few snickers and someone say "watch out for that damned snake" when they showed the two kids walking toward the tree. My date said it was like watching the end of Indiana Jones 4 all over again.

I give it a 2/5.

Retarted Pimple fucked around with this message at 00:36 on Sep 27, 2009

CornHolio
May 20, 2001

Toilet Rascal
I know I'm late to the party, but I just watched this last night. I went into it thinking it was a movie about a girl that could predict impending disasters. I was sort of right, but when the movie really started going with the creepy aliens just standing around being creepy and the mystery surrounding the final date, and then the implication of that final date I thought it got really interesting.

While I did find it predictable, I found myself going please please aliens please please please YES THEY'RE ALIENS! I guess if you take the movie completely seriously you wouldn't like it, but I went into it not expecting a lot and came away thoroughly impressed.

Of course Nicolas Cage's acting was terrible as usual, but I expected that from the beginning. I really enjoyed the movie and I don't care who knows it.

4.5/5

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El Perkele
Nov 7, 2002

I HAVE SHIT OPINIONS ON STAR WARS MOVIES!!!

I can't even call the right one bad.
Nicolas Cage's eyebrows look like two worms kissing each other. They live and move independently from his facial muscles.

What's to say? Nicolas Cage gives a piss-poor performance as an obsessive MIT professor trying to figure out a series of random numbers. It pretty soon turns into your standard apocalyptic prophecy bullshit with annoying kids, hysteric women, mooses that are on fire, LOTS of people burning, more fire, random aliens and a completely unsurprising ending.

The pacing has serious issues. For a movie about impending doom, this movie has way too much hamfisted exposition, driving (seriously, enough with driving around) and more padly paced exposition. The movie is, in other words, boring and slow.

Pro: Special effects, some really good apocalyptic visuals. Nicolas Cage for unintended comedy.
Con: Pretty much everything else.

1,5/5

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