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hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


Someone put me out of my misery.

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destructo
Apr 29, 2006


Suck all the dicks

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.


You want this forum.

Lenins Potato
May 8, 2008

I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND I ROUTINELY TALK TO TRANNIES
i pegged money mike

How many different propane jokes do you have?

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


lotta good thrads in the gibbis tonight

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


Lenins Potato posted:

How many different propane jokes do you have?

Several.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

"thats pretty much it, we all got high, it was sweet you should of been there"
"god damnt knuckles, your plan didn't do anything"


how many of them are erotic

big duck equals goose
Nov 7, 2006

by XyloJW


Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug



Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.


Sigma-X posted:

how many of them are erotic

"That boy ain't right," said Hank as he

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


Sigma-X posted:

how many of them are erotic

Many.

Lenins Potato
May 8, 2008

I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND I ROUTINELY TALK TO TRANNIES
i pegged money mike

hulkhoganmeatshoes posted:

Several.

Sigma-X posted:

how many of them are erotic

Don't leave us hanging.

big duck equals goose
Nov 7, 2006

by XyloJW


wait... this isn't lf!

Pawl
Sep 9, 2006



Click here for the full 1024x768 image.

Jimferd
Mar 12, 2003




Gah!

And is it worse it took me a good 15 seconds to figure out what the hell was wrong with that?

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


It usually ends with Hank sodomizing Joseph Gribble. I have problems.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

"thats pretty much it, we all got high, it was sweet you should of been there"
"god damnt knuckles, your plan didn't do anything"


hulkhoganmeatshoes posted:

Many.

post them

edit: gently caress nevermind please don't

Lenins Potato
May 8, 2008

I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND I ROUTINELY TALK TO TRANNIES
i pegged money mike

OP, I don't see how you could make a thread like this without having propane jokes ready to go.

DJPM
Mar 5, 2007

by Fistgrrl


That boy ain't right

Pete Campbell
Feb 23, 2006

Same price as a chip and dip!


Goshdangit, hulkhoganmeatshoes.

Attitude Indicator
Apr 3, 2009




I forgot to tell a joke...


Do you write yourself into the stories?

Untrustable
Mar 16, 2009

Do you like it? It's haunted.


The OP should also have a lot of narrow urethra jokes...ewww...

Pawl
Sep 9, 2006


DJPM posted:

That boy ain't right

Novaya_Saf
Nov 15, 2007

by Lowtax


narrow urethra

Joust
Dec 7, 2007
No Ledges.

TheKingPuuChuu
Oct 13, 2005

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

So why haven't any been posted? I wanna see proof of this, damnit!

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


TheKingPuuChuu posted:

So why haven't any been posted?

Because I'm lying.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Novaya_Saf
Nov 15, 2007

by Lowtax


Hank Hill x Tom Anderson OTP

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008

brb a nigga gotta doo doo


TheKingPuuChuu posted:

So why haven't any been posted? I wanna see proof of this, damnit!

It's a sunny day in Arlen, Texas. Hank Hill is sitting in his kitchen listening to the radio.

"And Stillwater is going on a reunion tour. They'll be performing at the Arlen Arena on Friday," said the radio announcer. Hank's ears perked up at the word 'Stillwater.'

"The next caller who can correctly answer the question I give them gets six front row tickets to the Stillwater concert for free," finished the radio announcer. Hank decided to give it a shot and called the station.

"Congratulations, you are our tenth caller. If you can correctly guess the names of Stillwater's original members, you win six free front row tickets to see them," said the radio announcer.

"Huh," said Hank. "I never knew their members ever changed. Okay, Russell Hammond. Jeff Bebe. Ed Vallencourt. And Larry Fellows."

"You win!" said the radio announcer.

"I won? Well, I'll be darned," Hank said, doing his famous chuckle.

Later.

Hank gets home from the radio station. He walks through the sliding glass door. Peggy was in the kitchen doing a crossword puzzle. Bobby is in the living room watching TV.

"Peggy, guess what?" said Hank, excitedly. "I won six front row tickets to Stillwater."

"Oh, I love Stillwater," said Peggy. "I can interview them for the Arlen Bystander. We got to bring Nancy. She loves Russell Hammond."

In the alley.

Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer are in the alley drinking their beer.

"Yep," said Hank, drinking his beer.

"Yep," said Dale, drinking his beer.

"Yep," said Bill, drinking his beer.

"Mm hmm," said Boomhauer drinking his beer.

"So," said Hank, casually. "I won six front row tickets to Stillwater." The other three guys got excited.

"Yo, man, I love dang ol' Stillwater, man," said Boomhauer.

"Hank, you got to bring us," said Bill.

"Yeah Hank, and bring Nancy too," said Dale. "She loves Stillwater."

"I was going to invite you three," said Hank. The other three cheered.

To be continued.

Brolita
Mar 23, 2009


quote:

Disclaimer: I do not own King of the Hill, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.



He stood at the edge of the bed, dressed in his usual attire. Jeans and a loose shirt, his hair was pretty messy and getting into his eyes. Lifting both arms his shirt rose a little to reveal a little of his hard abs, Bobby shivered as his friend lifted the edges over his hand than letting it slid off his arms to the floor. His muscle was well firmed, from the sports and work outs. Bobby wanted to reach out and allow his fingers travel about this body, to feel the dark skin.
But he knew he couldn't, not now or ever.

His hands was over his fly, thumbs and fingers were working the button. Bobby would see his waistband, the zipper slowly was drag down. Shimmering his hips the pants fell to the floor, leaving his boxers in between Bobby and Joseph's loins. Bobby could tell that there was an erection, it was pretty obvious here.

The boxers slid down, leaving the Native American boy standing there exposed and waiting. Placing one knee onto the bed, Bobby snuggled into the bed a little before Joseph placed his other knee onto the bed. Scotching forward until he was over Bobby's nether regions, Joseph hand placed firmly on the base of his penis and slid forward than back. Picking up the rythem, Bobby closed his eyes before feeling a stream of wetness against his skin he open them to find himself alone in the dark room.

He hated living with these fantasies, but with how his life is and his body it will ways be just fantasies.

Wiping on the cum onto the blanket, he slid his pants back up and went to sleep as in the morning and all day tomorrow he has to a "grill expo" that's being held at Strickland propane.

What fun, he thought. There's going to be nothing exciting tomorrow.

---

"Okay, let me set some ground rules." Hank Hill said, "no bothering costumers, trying new material on anyone, we're trying to run a business here and no going out back to play with that rodent." It's bad enough I think you're not right, he thought bitterly while pulling into the parking lot. Team Strickland was already setting up the grills and banners for this expo, he was there to make sure it all ran smoothly and cook the food. Bobby sighed as he climbed out of the truck, if it weren't for the free food he would have pulled out something "not right" to get out of this.
Time slowly passed, Bobby wonder all over the place just sitting and pretending to have a crowd listening to him once in a while. Looking around he slowly slipped away from the crowd, wondering through the show room and into the break room. This is the area that he loved to be when he was here, there was snacks and quiet from the constant jabber of Propane this and propane that.

He settle back into his usual chair, wishing he had brought his gameboy Bobby settled in for a session of fantasy when he noticed something. An off smell, a really gentle but offensive one.

Getting up he followed it around the room, it lead him through the halls and rooms into the back area where it was strongest. As well as a hissing he was told was bad, it was all over the storage room.

Oh gods! Bobby thought.

---

Bill smiled secretly as half of Strickland went up and caused panic among the happy people. For many long years he had endured the suffering, his wife leaving him while he got a goddess, a son when he couldn't even get near his wife, a high paying job while he barely could eek out a living.
He walked away, mentally laughing about his little "plan", a power cord that has been cut and several tanks of propane isn't much but it was working here.

Now let's see Mr. Sunshine get through this.

()()()

Yeah, not much of a "logical plot" but this is a gently caress fic. It's only good for a quick arousal, a good laugh or a real MST (if you any but Mike Nelson and his Bots MST this than BITE ME!)

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008

brb a nigga gotta doo doo


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the King of the Hill characters except Jessica, Dale’s new daughter.

Notes: This is set in 2010 in the summertime, just to let you know. This is only for King of the Hill fans and people who like the idea of DalexPeggyxBill and NancyxHank.

Chapter One: Dale's Obsession

Nancy Hicks-Gribble, Dale Gribble’s wife started working at Strickland Propane, the same place as Hank Hill, a neighbor and best friend of Dale’s and it wasn’t easy working with Nancy as Hank expected. Nancy always kept bleaching her hair in her office, much to Hank’s chagrin because it meant Hank was always cleaning up after her.

“Nancy,” said Hank. “Is there ever a time you’re not bleaching your hair?”

“Sug,” said Nancy. “I have to so Dale won’t see what I look like as a brunette. He said I look ugly as a brunette.”

“Whatever keeps Dale happy,” said Hank.

Peggy was at home, still trying to dye her hair toehead blonde (which by the way is white blonde), was caught by Dale, from the window. She was so embarrassed because she was caught dying her hair especially in front of her husband’s best friend.

“Are aliens in this house?” he shouted across the window.

Peggy gave him a “did you just lose your mind at Paranoia Land” and then closed her curtains. Ever since Dale found out about John Redcorn and Nancy’s secret affair (he dumped her and he moved to North Dakota), he’s grows more attached to the neighbor wives of Arlen than his wife. Or maybe, he has a super-secret infatuation for Peggy…

“What is with you and asking Peggy if she has aliens in her house?” said Dale’s new daughter, Jessica Margret, who was born in December 2007.

“Er, um…uh… look a Barbie doll,” said Dale creating a distraction to cover up the fact he asks Peggy if she has aliens which is also covering up the fact he may have a little crush on Peggy.

He ran down to the basement to take notes on what Peggy is doing so he can get to know her better.

“10:19, Peggy attempts to dye her hair blonde to look hot and blushes when I peeped at her and she closed her curtains,” said Dale when he was taking notes.

Uh-oh, now Dale was obsessed with Peggy. Taking notes on her, spying on her, having perverted thoughts about her, I could go on.

“Oh God, I think I love Peggy Hill! Gah!!” screamed Dale.

So…would Peggy find out about this or would Dale have to play hard-to-get?

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


quote:


Bobby was sitting in the living room. Flipping threw channels. He sighed,"Nothings on..."

His parents had left him all by himself that night. Knowing that their child would be too lazy to be partying somewhere with no one to drive him. He had gotten slightly chunkier and his grades seemed to slip more by each report card. His parents were very worried about him. But they had no idea on what to do to stop his lazy streak.

He flipped threw: MTV, Mad TV, cooking channel, boomerang, and etc...

"If there is nothing on by the time I hit the next channel them I'm going to bed." He was getting slightly irritated by now. When he flipped the next channel he saw this boy with blond hair trying to talk to this really pretty girl with pink hair. This show caught Bobby's interest, so he kept watching it. When he finished watching the show it was 8:30 pm. He worked out all that happened in the show into his head.

He concluded that the pink haired girl was sakura and the blond was Naruto.

Then came: Sasuke, Iruka,Kakashi, and then the Hokage. In 7 minutes he figured everything out so far about the show. "This Naruto is the coolest thing ever!!!!!!"

He turned off the TV and went to bed. When his parents came home they automatically went to check up on Bobby. They found him asleep in his bed. SO they went to go get ready for bed as well.

"I'm worried about our baby boy Hank." Hank sighed as he pulled the covers over his shoulder's, "That boy ain't right."

Peggy went under the covers, "Maybe so but hes our darling little boy and I don't want to see him throwing his life away, Hank why don't you try taking him to the flea market again!" Hank once again sighed, "I'm not going to take that chance and making him get into something even worse then those god forsaken witch cards." Hank shivered. "Then we have to come up with something else."

They went to bed with uneasy minds.

The next morning Bobby woke up and got dressed for school. He seemed to be in a good mood. "WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! The last day of school!"

For Bobby this meant like alot of things.

Not having to try hard in school for a few months. And plus this meant that he could watch Naruto every night! He had only watched once but Naruto can be a very powerful thing.

(A/N:DOn't I know it! Audience:Shut up and let us read the rest ya dink! ME:hides behind Rock LeeDOn't hurt me!)

Bobby made his bed while listening to the radio, dancing in between his tasks. He was really enjoying himself!

After that he went down the hall to the kitchen. He was so siked that he had gotten up at 5:30. His head was filled with the things that he would do. Like he would have a party in his classroom with all of his friends, then after words his mom would take him to the he would come home and watch Naruto.

He went into the kitchen and picked threw the fridge. Then he got to thinking. "I wonder what Naruto would eat..."

He found alot of things in the fridge:Meats, corn, left overs, and at the bottom he saw the things he never tried before.

Fruit.

"I think Naruto would eat this...well not really. But you have to eat healthy if you wan't to be a good your Choji! he he."

So he decided to grab a little of every fruit. He washed it all and then placed it all on the table in front of him with a knife.

The first thing he tried was a banana. He peeled off the top and ate the very tip. (A/N:chuckles Audience:Perv...)

"The banana is okay...but not really my thing. Next"

He then tried the fuzzy fruit that was brown. He frowned at this and decided to cut it in half, When he sliced it he was met with a green and black combo of colors.

Like he would normally do, he sniffed it,"OMG! This smells like poo!"

But he wanted to be brave like a ninja. So he tried it. To his surprise the fruit tasted alot like strawberries. So he peeled the skin off and ate the rest. He took the peelings to the trash and went back to his chair at the kitchen.(A/N:The fruit he just ate was a kiwi)

He then tried the peech. But he didn't like it. It felt too mushy when he chewed it. So then He moved on to grapes. He decided that he liked the taste so ate those.

After about 30 minutes it was 6:00am, he had eaten grapes, some banana, strawberries, Kiwi, nectarine, and a green apple. He was feeling thirsty so he got some 2 milk in the fridge and drank a glass of that. After all, Naruto drank milk for breakfast.

Hank and Peggy woke up and got dressed in a bored manner. It was 6:30 before they came into the kitchen and saw Bobby washing his hands in the sink.

"Bobby! That's nasty! If you need to wash your hands wash them in the sink!"

"Fine dad."

""Boy ain't right."

Bobby left the room and brushed his teeth. He liked fruit but it was sticky and the pieces got stuck between your teeth. But he liked the fruit so decided that from now on he was going to eat fruit for breakfast. He then returned to the kitchen were Peggy was brewing coffee. His dad was flipping threw the paper. Most likely looking for the sports page. "Mom" Peggy looked over from what she was doing,"Yes Bobby"

"could you buy some more of that fruit today after we get done with the mall?"

Peggy and Hank turned there heads in shock. "When did you start liking fruit Bobby?!"

He smiled, "Well I just like it now, and some milk while were at it." He was leaving for the door but before he left he stated, "If I want to be a good ninja then I have to eat the right foods! I'm walking to school. Bye mom, bye dad!!!!!!!"

Peggy and Hank had looks of confusion on there faces.

"Maybe our son will be okay after all!"

Hank went back to reading his newspaper,"Great...another new fad. I think I'm going to like his troll dolls more then what he's going to come up with now."

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008

brb a nigga gotta doo doo


Summary: Bobby has a fetish and wonders if he should tell Hank.

Chapter 1

“Yup,” Hank said, sipping his beer.

“Yup,” Dale said, smoking his cigarette.

“Mm-hmm,” Boomhauer said, panning the area.

“Yep,” Bill said, scratching his bald head.

Nothing special happened in Arlen that Saturday afternoon. The men just stood in front of the fence in their alley, unsuccessfully thinking of things to think about. Finally, after standing silently for over an hour, they gave up trying to think of anything to say and just decided to return home and resume their personal lives.

Hank walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa and watched the news on the television. Nothing new was on TV. It just seemed like an absolutely boring day. Just then, Peggy, Hank’s wife, entered the living room.

“Hank, why are you just sitting there? If you’re this bored, why don’t you mow the lawn or paint the house?” Peggy asked her husband.

“Well, I would, but I did all that 2 days ago. I don’t need to do that right now,” Hank responded.

“You know what, we need to go out to the Mega-Lo-Mart and buy some groceries,” Peggy said. “Get Bobby, we’re going.” Hank then walked into Bobby’s bedroom.

“Bobby, your mother and I are going to the Mega-Lo-Mart to get some groceries. Wanna tag along?” Hank asked.

“Sure, Dad,” Bobby said excitedly. He grabbed his wallet and followed Hank and Peggy out to the truck. Bobby wanted to go to the store for some time because there was something he wanted very badly. Hank started the truck and drove the family to the Mega-Lo-Mart.

Hank and Peggy were standing around in the produce section, but Bobby was bored. He had not come to the store for this. “Dad,” Bobby said, “can I go somewhere else and look around?”

“Well, sure, son,” Hank smiled, “but be sure to find us when you’re done. We’ll probably still be here in the produce section.”

“Okay, Dad, I will,” Bobby said, running off. He felt very excited. He had never felt so good in his life. He knew what he was looking for. Bobby bolted around corners and aisles of the Mega-Lo-Mart and eventually found what he was looking for: the women’s clothing section. Bobby looked around to make sure nobody was around. To his luck, nobody was. He instantly snatched off a pink tank top and made a mad dash for the dressing room.

Bobby took off his dark gray shirt and slipped the tiny little tank top over his husky abdomen. “Heh heh…I like this shirt,” Bobby said in a strange voice. He posed in several different positions, seeing how he would look. On impulse, Bobby slipped the tank top in his pants pocket. He put his old shirt back on and found some pink bikinis. He took one and went back to the dressing room. This time, he shed all his clothes off and put them on and felt kinky. Bobby nearly fainted, but he realized that he needed to go back with his parents. He kept the bikini on, but slipped his pants and shirt over it. He hoped his parents would not find out.

Bobby left the women’s clothing section, feeling very strange. He hurried back to the produce section, where he saw Hank and Peggy leaving for one of the cash registers. “Hey, Bobby, you’re just in time…” Hank started, but frowned when he saw a little lump under Bobby’s chest. “Bobby, what’s that under your chest?” Hank asked.

“Oh, I’m wearing an undershirt,” Bobby half-lied.

“Oh, okay, son,” Hank said.

After paying for the items, the Hills headed for the doors to leave the Mega-Lo-Mart. Just as Bobby was about to walk out the door, loud sirens emitted from all directions!

IceNiner
Jun 11, 2008


Where's the part about Bobby secretly watching Luanne taking a shower and he strokes his little carrot?! Then Luanne catches him and she has a raging 3 way with him and Dale's wife?!

hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


IceNiner posted:

Where's the part about Bobby secretly watching Luanne taking a shower and he strokes his little carrot?! Then Luanne catches him and she has a raging 3 way with him and Dale's wife?!

I came.

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008

brb a nigga gotta doo doo


Act I

On a typical day at Tom Landry Middle School, Bobby has trouble signing up for the school's football team. He later has trouble keeping up in physical education, and has problems with a new bully.

Bobby comes home with a note from the school principal. Hank is dismayed at the news, and takes the time to review the many past incidents where Bobby has had trouble with bullies and joining new teams.

Hank comes to the assumption that Bobby's chronic school problems comes from the fact that Bobby still hasn't entered puberty yet. Bobby comes up with a weak excuse, but is then grounded.

Later, Hank vents off his frustration at Bobby's refusual to age, as well as his effeminate habits. Peggy convinces Hank to have a heart-to-heart talk with Bobby. But when Hank opens Bobby's room door, he discovers his son experimenting in transvestism. Hank is so shocked that it gives him a heart attack.

Act II

Hank is taken to the Arlen Medical Center.

Hank awakens from a spiritual flight, and sees Joe Jack sobbing at a grave site. He soon learns that he is a ghost, and that he has awoken 10 years into the future.

Hank explores Arlen, and discovers the numerous changes that has taken place since his death.

At the alley, Dale, Boomhauer, and Bill fashioned a shrine in the spot Hank most frequented at.

Bobby has trouble continuing with his life, mostly because in the 10 years following his father's death, he still has not aged at all! Being the only person in Arlen to never mature, he is no longer able to spend time with Joseph or Connie.

Without Hank, Strickland Propane suffered serious financial failure. After 10 years of struggling, an old and exasperated Buck Strickland is forced to make a permanent shut down of his propane comany.

Luanne refuses to interact with Bobby, because she holds him responsible for the untimely death of her uncle.

The only person that Bobby can speak to anymore is his mother, Peggy. Hank witnesses Peggy comforting Bobby when he gets scared during a thunderstorm.

Act III

Hank tries to survey his strained relationship with Bobby. He ultimately learns that Bobby has suffered an identity crisis over the years because of a combination of Bobby's refusal to mature, Peggy's overprotective parenting, and Hank's reluctance to nurture Bobby's personality and talents.

One evening, as Hank tries to look for Bobby, he learns that Bobby had already been sent to the hospital. Fearing the worst, Hank makes a mad dash.

When Hank sees Bobby, he discovers that his son had a sex-change operation. Hank's worst fear was to ever have a duaghter.

The sudden change in his misguided son drives him into a serious breakdown.

Suddenly, Hank awakens. With his family and friends at his bed, it is revealed that Hank had actually been in a deep coma for eighteen months.

When Bobby enters the room, Hank sees that his son has finally aged into a handsome young teenager.

When Hank is finally released from the hosiptal, he sees a report card from Bobby's first quarter in Arlen High School. He later enjoys a beer with his friends in the alley, and consoling in the pride of his now-teenaged son, everything in Arlen goes back to normal.

The End

Turd Nelson
Nov 21, 2008


Carl The Shivan
Mar 23, 2009

programmed with a
variety of trusting
emotions



My King of The Hill Fan Fiction

Hank: "Bobby, I've got propane in my urethra."

The End

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hulkhoganmeatshoes
Mar 19, 2008

by The Finn


Carl The Shivan posted:

My King of The Hill Fan Fiction

Hank: "Bobby, I've got propane in my urethra."

The End

Way to poo poo up our fun thraed.

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