Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
Matlock
Sep 12, 2004

Childs Play Charity 2011 Total: $1755

Truth posted:

I was trying to go to sleep a few minutes ago and for some reason the enormity of these events finally hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I have no real life friends who give a poo poo about professional wrestling, so this is basically the only place I have to express these feelings, but I really feel the need to express them.

I would like this thread to be about our personal feelings about the death of Chris Benoit, and how it has personally affected us. Just TV-IVing about the details as they come in, or wondering about the WWE's future, and all of that bullshit has no place here. I need to write about my feelings about Chris Benoit. Obviously these posts will be mocked elsewhere on the forums, but gently caress em. If you feel the need to say anything, say it.

-----

Chris Benoit is a murderer. He killed his wife and child. We will probably never know exactly what he was thinking. Obviously I did not know Chris Benoit. I never saw him in person and never spoke to him. But he represented something very special to me. In such a cut-throat, dirty, dark, often disgusting, business he was one of the good ones. When people talked poo poo about wrestling and the bastards involved in it, you could always muffin out Chris Benoit as the exception to the rule. He was the one you could muffin to as a true professional who honored the sport he loved, who was passionate about it, who proved that you could dedicate your life to professional wrestling without being insane or scum or a monster. He was the ace in the hole. He was the one who wasn't in it for the pussy or because he was a failed jock in another sport or because he wanted to get rich quick or because he wanted to be a movie star or because he saw wrestling as a means to an end. He was in it for professional wrestling. He was dedicated to being the best professional wrestler he could be, and it showed in the ring.

I wanted to be a professional wrestler since I was a little kid, and one of the very worst moments of my life was a cold night in San Antonio when I was on the phone to my girlfriend a thousand miles away and finally admitted to myself and to her that coming to Texas to be a wrestler had been a mistake. Coming to grips that I was simply not athletically or charismatically talented enough to be a professional wrestler was one of the worst moments of my life. The business glorifies the boyhood dreams that come true. My boyhood dream wasn't going to come true, and it was an upsetting, soul-crushing revelation that upsets and discourages me to this day.

Since then I lived vicariously through Chris Benoit in a lot of ways. He wasn't a man who was destined to be a WWE champion. He couldn't talk. He wasn't charismatic in the usual way. He was quiet. He was short. The only thing he had going for him was his work ethic. He wasn't a third generation wrestler. He wasn't physically gifted. He wasn't someone who had words come easy to him. But through sheer effort he was able to become one of the greatest professional wrestlers in history. By 40 years-old.

Chris Benoit was only forty, and he was already a legend on the verge of myth. That's how talented he was, and how respected.

I cannot reconcile in my mind that the man who unnecessarily gave back so much to the sport could end his life the way he did. I can't understand how a man could spend weeks and months trying to give back to younger guys like MVP, putting forth the care and effort to help them find their voice in the ring, and that that same man could strangle his wife and child only weeks later. It doesn't make sense. It shouldn't have happened this way. Not for him, not for Nancy, and not for their child.

Chris Benoit owed me nothing. But I still feel the loss. I selfishly lived through many of his accomplishments and now feel lost. I can only speak for myself, but I feel that for a lot of us Mondays and Fridays are rocks of stability in a storm of stress and uncertainty. Every week the show goes on. Every week the show is from somewhere new, somewhere in the world, but every week it comes into our homes.


And that will continue. But Chris Benoit is dead. And he died a murderer. And whether it be insanity, drugs, or just the actions of a clear-eyed monster, what is done is done. And one of the pillars for the guys backstage and one of the pillars for fans is gone. And everything that pillar held up is tainted and dripping with blood.

Chris Benoit was a murderer. And I don't know how to accept that.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU