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Is The Tutti Fruity Hat Acceptable?
Yes, wear that poo poo for a day and then eat it, and then die.
No, fruit hats are pussy bullshit & nothing would be make me happier to see you banned.
View Results
Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Salutations, Pfiffer! Because you decided to ask for help with your homework like an illiterate community college student, you are now the next victim of the Moderator Challenge!

You have 72 hours to complete one of the following:

1) Phiffer more like Michelle Pfeiffer

For this challenge, you will need to illustrate, sculpt, compose or write an Epic Love Song for Michelle Pfeiffer. Before you go about writing some lovely haiku or limerick about banging the teacher of Dangerous Minds, let's go over the definition of epic:

Epic: very imposing or impressive; surpassing the ordinary (especially in size or scale); "an epic voyage"; "of heroic proportions"; "heroic sculpture".

So, for this challenge you may
  • Write an Epic Love Poem
  • Draw an elaborate web comic
  • Paint an impressive portrait
  • Compose & Sing a beautiful love song

If your entry sucks, you will be banned or probated. If your entry is awesome, you might even be rewarded. You only get one entry, so make it count.

2) ROWSDOWER!



For this challenge, you are required to dress up and post a picture of your best ROWSDOWER! impersonation. I understand it has absolutely nothing to do with the thread, but I am Mad With Power and I'd like to see some Rowsdower imitations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRTbW98v8ys - A Brief History of Rowsdower

Do not gently caress this one up - if you don't have a mullet, a mustache, a Canadian Tuxedo and look comfortable in a pile of random garbage, then don't bother posting or else you will be banned. Bonus points if you manage to show off the tattoo, alcoholism and other Last Sacrifice cult members in the shot.

3) The Internet Wants To Know About Your Dick For Science

For this challenge, you are going to have sex with an Erlenmeyer Flask, and then post a Lab Report of how effective it was for pleasuring yourself, and document the experiment with photographs & a write up.

Now let's be absolutely clear: no one here wants to see your junk in an Erlenmeyer Flask. The experiment must remain work-safe at all times, so as not to compromise the validity of your field work. Again - you have to manage to gently caress A Flask but keep it professional and PG-13. You also must keep exact measurements (metric only), and follow the following steps:

Observation
Hypothesis
Experiment (with a control group and a experimental group)
Results
Conclusion

Failure to do so will be in a ban. I sincerely doubt anyone will do this challenge, but I am morbidly curious if GBS will actually commit to such an atrocious act.


Phiffer: If you do not successfully complete a challenge, you will be banned. If you do a half-assed attempt at this challenge, you will be banned. However, if you successfully complete the challenge, you may give any poster in this thread after this post your choice of an avatar.

However, you will be competing with GBS! If anyone else successfully completes a challenge before you do, they may decide your fate! However, if another Goon does a lovely entry, it will backfire and they will be punished!

Normal GBS rules apply, especially the ones about threadshitting, trolling, attention whoring and being creepy. Good luck!


EDIT BY HOODROW TRILLSON:
abraham: if a goon actually fucks a flask for this challenge ill eat my hat

You heard him, folks-- in an IM with me, he said he'd eat his hat if a goon hosed a flask. Get going, people. Abe has just been COUNTERCHALLENGED.

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Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

AYBraham posted:


EDIT BY HOODROW TRILLSON:
abraham: if a goon actually fucks a flask for this challenge ill eat my hat

You heard him, folks-- in an IM with me, he said he'd eat his hat if a goon hosed a flask. Get going, people. Abe has just been COUNTERCHALLENGED.

BLANKET OF FEAR

I'll hold to this, as long as it's a valid, non creepy and solid Flask loving Lab Report. I'll probably escape on a technicality, but I won't be branded a coward.

Don't let me down, GBS.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

The Finn posted:

all your challenges involve half dressed goons or goon cock, GBS isn't your personal meat parade, ugh you sicken me

Goon Love Is The Best Love Quote This If You're Down

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Jenova Project posted:

How the gently caress are you going to prove you hosed said flask? Without proof, it's just how convincing a liar you are, basically.

I honestly don't see how this will be a sausage festival. Because, you know.

gently caress.

This is probably the most difficult part of the challenge - because it's an experiment that requires Empirical Proof you hosed the flask, doing this while keeping it work safe is beyond me. That doesn't even begin to go into how you prove the control part of the experiment.

I will say that I honestly don't think it's possible to complete this challenge while remaining true to all the variables (HAS TO BE A ERLENMEYER FLASK; IF I WANTED A GOON TO gently caress A BONG I'D MOD TCC), but goons have until Friday Morning to prove me wrong.

If you do a really good job but can't prove you hosed the flask, I don't know, I'll buy you plat or something, but I'm not going to devour a sombrero. I do have to say that I'm not going to hold your hand (or your flask for that matter) seeing as how I'm going to have to eat a hat if someone does accomplish this.

And ladies, I honestly think that it's just as impossible & a bad idea for men to gently caress the flask as it is women. This is not the challenge you should want to do. For the same price of a flask & whatever tools it took to do it in the name of science, I'm willing to bet that one could go down to the local Goodwill and purchase most of a Rowsdower costume.

A girl could probably pull off ROWSDOWER! easier than a guy.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Also congratulations Xthnru & Discount Bees, because that painting & those poems were great. The two of you should decide on Piffer's fate.

I'll leave the thread open just in case anyone else wants to participate, just for the sake of participating & not doing challenge #3, for love of god don't do challenge #3. Maybe I'll give out prizes, who knows!

Finally, just in case, if anyone has a hookup or recipe for a Nacho Hat, please PM me details.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Krusty Krab posted:

To fair, you did say that you would eat your hat if a goon fucks a flask. So as long as a goon provides proof of him loving a flask you will have to eat your hat. It shouldn't matter if he fulfills the criterion of the experiment or not.

For the sake of me being the one in the position of power & the context of the challenge, I'm not eating a goddamn hat unless a goon fulfills every part of the task. Rest assured though, if for some disgusting and terrible reason this actually happens, I will eat my goddamn hat. I promise it will be an entire hat, as in an actual headcovering that can be worn outside and be seen in public with, and not some gimmick Cookie Hat. It probably will happen on Monday if this occurs, but I promise I won't halfass my challenge as long as GBS doesn't halfass their challenge.

But again, you really shouldn't gently caress a glass flask for the Internet. You don't want to be known for the rest of your life as The Flask Fucker.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
I'm sort of infuriated that just about everyone is paying more attention to the rules of the third challenge then the actual rules thread.

You people are monsters. I lovingly ban, probate and scream at each and everyone on of you precious idiots, and you go and two time with some laboratory container? I don't even own a hat! I am going to have to buy a hat because of this!!!

do you know how hard it is to explain to a bakery on the phone that you need a cake that you can also wear as a hat

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Incredulous Red posted:

Just so it's not a financial burden on you, I will buy the hat for you to eat if some sick Goon completes #3 (I hope you like Vietnamese. . . )

E: Just so we're clear, I'll make the hat selection, or post a number of different models that it can be selected from

I have a plan. I shall not waver or fail in my quest, should I need to. It's not a Toxx, it's a responsibility: if I'm not willing to honor the mod challenge, then I shouldn't be making them in the first place. But I'm certainly not eating a hat for a halfassed flask quickie.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
gently caress.

My hat's off to you, Twigand Berries.

I'll report back in on Monday.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
That was a really well constructed entry, too, as disgusting as it may be. You totally followed every dammed step of the criteria, even the Safe Work Clause, and turned it into a really funny post. I'm a little concerned that my response won't be as quality, but you obviously put more effort then penis into the flask, so I'm going to step it up.

Twigand Berries, the other two successful contestants were flippant on Phiffer's fate. You must decide. Someone also needs to make you a fitting avatar.

And I need to go shop for hat ingredients.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Guy in back corner posted:

Hang on abe.

You said that "if any goon actually fucks a flask, I'll eat my hat"

Therefore, you must eat a hat that you owned at the time you wrote those words.

Newly bought/made hats do not count, correct?

I say this with total honesty: I don't even own a hat. The only thing I own that's close to this is a Bike Helmet filled with Stryofoam - so I'm going to have to spend this weekend visiting my Mother while shopping for a hat & explaining just exactly what I did to deserve eating my hat.

Rest assured - I have no intention of making a lovely post.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Twigand Berries posted:

Has he even returned to the thread? If he hasn't, I would have to say ban.

He hasn't even returned to the forums. Ban queued. You should probably see a doctor.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

bar88537 posted:

I want AYbraham to set up a yahoo live cam chat so we can all watch it real time.

Negative, Ghost Rider: The photo shoot is on Memorial Day.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
I'm going to give y'all an early update on the Hat Eating Fiasco, to make sure that I'm following through in an appropriate matter.

Ever since Danny Manic posted the challenge, I researched high and low into what kind of hat I would have to eat. A long time ago, about 2002, I actually had a good magic nerd friend of mine who lost a bet and claimed he'd eat his hat, and followed through on the bet:

http://www.wizards.com/sideboard/article.asp?x=ptsd02/425edthat

Granted, Eric actually owned that hat prior to the bet so he had to eat it for everyone, but he only made it for about three bites worth and couldn't poo poo right for a month. Once I saw the Flask Fucker, I knew I was in trouble - especially because my head is gigantic & the only "hat" I own was a Polystyrene & impact plastic bike helmet.

After a day's worth of research, here were some of my findings:

-It turns out that there is no such thing as a Nacho Hat. I could have sworn that some enterprising Mexican restaurant would have created such a device, but it was not to be.

-A Porkpie Hat isn't what you think it is.

-Banana Basket hats aren't exactly "hats" - they are in fact wooden baskets that people wear on their heads, to carry Bananas. This was incredibly disappointing.

-I asked my family doctor, as well as three buddies in various states of Medical School: It's basically much healthier to eat your own leather shoe (ala Werner Herzog) then it would be to consume any sort of Straw Hat (destroys your colon) or Hemp Beanie (impossible to digest). Baseball caps, as well as any sort of manufactured textile would be poisonous if I boiled them down, flash fried them, or stewed them for an extended period of time.

However, there was one option that wouldn't necessarily kill me:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmen_Miranda



That's right: The Tutti-Fruity hat. Iconic for her entire career, Miranda wowed America with her sensational Latin choreography, vibrant singing, and absurd hat made out of fruit.



Nothing but Bananas, Grapes, Clementines, Pineapple, Cherries, Sugar Glue as well as Toothpicks & Crafting Wire (which I will not be eating btw)

"But Abraham," you might be yelling, "you are pussying out! A Tutti Fruity hat is not a real hat." To debate that, I turn to the Wikipedia definition of Hat:

A hat is a head covering. It may be worn for protection against the elements, for religious reasons, for safety, or as a fashion accessory.



So don't get me wrong, I know some of you are seeing this 10 pounds of fruit as a cop out, and not the latest style that just so happens to make me over seven feet tall. However, I am aware that I will have to prove to you that this gigantic pile of sculpted carbohydrates are in fact, a hat.

Therefore, I plan to wear the self-made Tutti Fruit hat out tomorrow for a Memorial Day Fashion Photo Shoot, consisting of:


Once the full day of activities are finished, I will then proceed to eat the entire Tutti Frutti hat (although this might take me some time), and die from Banana Poisoning.

That's the plan so far. Is this going to satisfy your most schadenfreude desires?

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

i am hot for bert posted:

Nice fuckin head man wow

Tell me about it :(

Anyways, I want to be fair about this: If you guys don't think that this is acceptable, then I'll take a ban & week probation (I'll just mod from the sidelines). However, if you kids give me the go ahead, then I'll continue with the original plan. Vote away!

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Sitius Verlai posted:

I'm fine with that hat so long as you eat every plant-based part of it. No banana peel left behind.

I'm not eating the peels, but I'll down the rind provided it blends properly. I can see how this would be an issue for some of you heartless bastards.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Smokey posted:

condoms are also known as jimmy hats. too bad you didn't think of that before huh

I'll leave the goon-swallowing condoms to TCC and their mega-travel thread.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

GonadTheBallbarian posted:

Voted for ban/probation/whatever as well.. If you're going to eat a fruit hat, eat the damned peels like a man.

EDIT: I'm surprised you didn't ask GWS to give you any other ideas on constructing an edible hat, such as using the corn starch-based packing peanuts

I'm not going to eat the loving peels. I understand that y'all might feel cheated by this, so I'm okay if you think it's bullshit and I'll take the ban accordingly.

At the same time, this was my burden, and I didn't want to create some type of hat that didn't previously exist just so I could get away scotfree. I opened my drat mouth and said something stupid, and if I'm going to give mod challenges then I should be willing to accept the fate of them as well. A cake or cookie hat would have been cheating in a big way.

I also put a lot of effort into not using any sort of fabric to balance the hat, or make it fit properly, because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat that fabric either. If I stir fried or deep fried a hat, I wouldn't be able to eat the entire thing. This is the best compromise I could come up with, and you get to see a dumb idiot wear 10 lbs of fruit in public in lieu of a 10 gallon hat. Sorry dudes!

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

UncleMonkey posted:

A leather hat would be unreasonably expensive. If GBS wants to buy the leather hat for Abraham, then I suppose it's a different story. Wool and felt hats? Maybe. They could still contain dyes and chemicals that could be harmful.

how about this: danny manic is the one who issued Abe the challenge in the first place. What if danny manic says he approves of the fruit hat solution. Will that suffice?

I still think that this solution is satisfactory.

Danny Manic is out of town for vacation until Wednesday; but I already cleared the Tutti Fruity plan with him before we both took off to do our prospective things away from the Internet this weekend. If he wasn't down with it, I wouldn't have bothered, but I figured if I'm going to espouse effort being worth something, then I had best put some effort into embarassing myself.

My bad genetics are also having me trolled into oblivion by GBS, but I think I deserve that humility at this point.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Foppish posted:

Throwing the rinds out is throwing a portion of the hat out. The hat is not consumed...that's like eating the bowl and leaving the brim...

"One does not eat the bones of the chicken".

Again, I understand some of you dudes are going to disagree with the methodology. You're more than welcome to eat a hat or banana peels to show much of a wuss I am.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

angerbotSD posted:

It's a language that doesn't transliterate well shut up get out

Also Abe I have to say I support any and all efforts that have you dress up as Carmen Miranda in full drag this is not an official challenge but you're a pussy if you don't hth

We actually considered this option, but the problems involved how bad I am in heels, obtaining a Carmen Miranda like dress in time for someone my size, and how difficult is it to walk, let alone dance with said 10lb fruit hat.

The original plan was to do all of it dressed up as Rowsdower (even bought the crappy jean jacket) and not even mention it, but the Mullet & Fake Mustache I had sent to me were the wrong color, so I just end up looking like a giant headed Alan Jackson. Sorry duders.

danifestmestny posted:

AYBraham since you posted that Fanimecon link I assume you are somewhere in the south Bay Area, correct? If so, and if you can pick them up, I'll give you two tickets to tomorrow's Giants game (bleacher seats, section 141) if you wear the hat for the duration of the game. The seats are just left of dead center so any fly ball hit to center and you should stick out like a sore thumb on TV.

edit: another idea - if the game interests you, go in the hat and as the game progresses eat said hat. For those of you who don't live in the Bay or do but don't usually watch Giants games, they have a broadcasting duo who, to put it politely, are easily distracted once a cameraman scopes out a particularly outstanding fan and will frequently return to said game-watcher through the course of a game. I'm guessing that the combination of the broadcasters' habits, your get-up, and the location of the seats will make you easy to spot and a favorite target for Kruk&Kuip tomorrow afternoon.

I haven't been to the game in a long time. As long as my cameraman is up for this, I'm game - but will they let me bring in said fruit hat to the stadium? I honestly think that the original day out plan would be more embarrassing (especially with how many people there will be out on Memorial Day), but at the same time watching the Giants play live is incredibly uncomfortable. I'll PM you right now in regards to this.

And all of you goobers screaming for a permaban or peels being iRFNA were going to end up sorely disappointed regardless. The only reason I took up Danny Manic's challenge was that I thought it would be a fun twist on the Mod Challenge & I think that effort of any time should be encouraged in General Bullshit. But, alas, there are some of you that don't get the general idea behind Mod Challenges or Public Humiliation, and that's really too bad. Oh well! Goondolences, sorry for your loss!

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
To clarify:

I'm only going to be able to make the baseball game if that user responds to my PM about it, and my photographer is down for going to it. I only got a commitment for dorking around in San Jose, and I don't know if he's up for a day at Pacbell Park.

If I do the Baseball game, there's no possible chance I can make the Anime Convention & etc - they are too far away from each other, and the game is gonna run a few hours. It's one or the other. If it was a possibility, I'd make it happen, but it's a logistical problem.

If I do the Mall & Anime Con plan, then I'll make sure that you guys get a full grasp of how bad it is to wear that much fruit as a head covering. Only reason I volunteered this was to prove that it was an actual hat, and that I think I should try to put as much effort into making this entertaining as Twigand Berries did.

I'm going to eat the hat. It might take awhile, but I'm going to eat the entire thing (sans binders and fruit containers) by myself, and I'll put away as much as possible in the first sitting, then freeze and eat the rest later (and I won't eat anything else until the hat is finished).

If someone wants to eat a hat, go ahead and eat a hat (don't actually eat a hat), but I am not saying I am going to do anything if that happens.

Now if you will all excuse me, I have to reconstruct the fruit hat so it's fresh for today.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Aero737 posted:

They wont let you take that hat inside a baseball park, they are pretty strict about the no outside food policy / crap that could be thrown at players.

Yeah, I was concerned about that as well. According to some googling, Pacbell Park does allow people to bring in their own food, but not if it's in an open container. I'm borrowing a special picnic freeze bag that can carry the fruit hat in, but if they turn us away then I'll just try and figure out some way to make do.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Twelve Beers posted:

Because he takes his other Mod challenges that he throws at other people quite seriously?

I really don't take them that seriously; I just give stupid people a chance at redemption, while making people more aware of the rules & give General Bullshit an opportunity to participate in something potentially fun and interesting.

Anyways, the photographer can't do the Ball game, and he and I both agreed its probably much more embarrassing to follow the original plan. I'm heading out right now in the new fruit hat (it's bigger but easier to balance), and will be back with a report before the night is over, assuming I'm not arrested for some obscure fruit laws. Thanks for voting everyone!

edit oh to the people that PM'd and IM'd me - i'm gonna be at the Fanime thing probably around 2 or 3, depending on how smooth the first part of the shoot goes, please do not glomp me thanks

Downtown Abey fucked around with this message at 19:09 on May 25, 2009

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Just got back home. Church was closed, but plenty of (too many) good shots at the Mall (crowded as hell) and Fanime (half of them were in awe, the other half were jeering). Hat nearly destroyed with usage. My hair smells forever tropical. Started on eating the hat & photo documenting it. Once the photos are uploaded I'll post it all in one big write up.

Oh, and thanks for the approval Twigand Berries. You and Danny Manic are the only dudes who really have any say in the matter, so that means something. I think you'll be pleased with the amount of shame I carried today.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Well, I appreciate everyone who decided to prove how great GBS is with impeccable logic & righteous internet anger over semantics, but now if you don't mind I'd like to take this time to share how my day was with you.

Around Noon, I gathered my bearings, bananas and berries and headed down to the Great Mall of America.







After a few last minute adjustments (being startled by the car behind me, thus losing the grapes of the crown) and realizing that I forgot to bring a towel, we were off to find Great Memorial Day Savings, in honor of those who died in the Black Christmas wars of years past.





Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Plenty of people noticed & commented on my poise, grace and intriguing sense of style.







But the look wasn't perfect. Fortunately, I was able to improvise a solution. Say hello to the newest member of the Hat Club!



Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
All of that window shopping sure made me hungry. While it's clear I could stand to lose a few pounds (particularly in the paunch, jaw and Fruit Hat areas), I decided to treat myself.





Crap, lost track of time. Off to the movie theater!





Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Unfortunately, I couldn't stay in fantasy land forever. After all, there were animes to get in order.





At first, my photographer and I were worried on how to approach people for photographs. Wasn't a problem - apparently I was cosplaying as a Fruits Basket.





Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Love? War? Justice? What appears to be an anime pogo stick? All were in abundance in this symposium of today's greatest thinkers & doers.









Words fail to express how uncomfortable I was at Fanime. This picture however, does.



And with that, I end the saga of the fruit hat. While I was waiting for my photo guy (shout outs to my boy Joe for putting up with this), I've been documenting the consumption of the fruit hat. Update incoming soon!

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Liquid Penguins posted:

Don't forget, he said he was allowed to eat it at his own pace and it for later.

I've been snacking on it since about 4:30pm, and have it down to two bananas, a bit of pineapple and the grapes (I don't like grapes). There wasn't a really funny way to show eating a hat made of fruit, but I did document it and I've nearly eaten the entire loving thing and want to die of fruit poisoning.

Anyways, here's the aftermath of the hat. It was barely stable enough to put on the plate for the picture. I added a big thing of grapes to make up for the bunch lost in the parking lot early on.





Dismantled:



Grapes:



Bananas:



Pineapple:



Cherries:



Oranges:



While I don't care for pineapple and grapes, I just diced it all up into manageable small bits and ate them up after I got back. However, this was really easy and not nearly as gross as I thought it was going to be, especially since I hadn't eaten all day. So I decided to do the next best thing with what was left - blend it.




The leavings (sans pits & an orange peel i threw away early) & remainder of fruit I have to eat for breakfast tomorrow:




Again, this part was the easy part of the challenge that couldn't be totally proved unless I did some sort of live streaming video. However, since just about every gibbis ragelord complained about me eating or doing anything, I figured that any amount of effort wasn't going to really do much to change the opinion of said buttholes. I'm sorry if this culmination ruins the thread, but I did want to at least try to put some effort on my end.

Anyways, the end, hope you all enjoyed the thread, great work to everyone but apparently me who participated, and good night!

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Liquid Penguins posted:

You're a mod so you can do whatever but at least admit that if anyone else submitted that as a challenge entry they would have lost.

Not really, seeing as how there was effort in it. I haven't banned a single poster yet for a bad entry, let alone one they spent some time trying. I think you're upset over something you have no control over, due to some insecurities stemming from being trolled in a different forum.

However, Liquid Penguins, since you seem to be such a stickler for the rules, let's go wayyyyy back to my first post in the thread:

quote:

Normal GBS rules apply, especially the ones about threadshitting, trolling, attention whoring and being creepy. Good luck!

So, would you like to venture a guess on what you've been doing for the past 10 or so replies? And since you seem to be such an expert on the history of what punishments are given out to Mod Challengers and Challengees, would you care to explain what exactly is done to posters like that?

To the rest of you dudes that dislike the challenge: okay, I get it. Sorry you didn't get what you want. My heart goes out to you great champions of hilarity and effort. To everyone in GBS that didn't mind, or has participated in past challenges: thanks, you're sort of the reason I went through with it in the first place.

Good night, goons.

Downtown Abey fucked around with this message at 06:46 on May 26, 2009

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

arariel posted:

As the photographer who took these photos, I can give you an exact explanation of that one.

We saw these guys doing what was either slo-mo fake-kung-fu fighting, or some homo poo poo (probably both)

I knew he had to get a photo with them. So I explained to them that we would like to take a photo, and that they could feel free to make it as awkward and uncomfortable as possible, because goddamnit, he deserved it.

Also this guy did a lot of the photowork, and managed to make me look like much less of a goober than I really am in real life. Thanks again, dude.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

arariel posted:

I'm just glad I brought a wide-angle lens... your chin is goddamn huge.

You goons can't tell from these, but I actually had to stand about 500 yards back, his head is massive. Like, we're talkin' Macy's parade mascot big. You may have heard about it before. Mike Meyers did a whole bit about it in So I Married An Axe Murderer.

...

... your head is huge, Ayb.

I could barely fit it in the theater.

I'm going to bed the second my sugar buzz wears off, but feel free to tell them about the photo booth & scan the picture if you are so inclined, or how I got shunned off by what I was told were a group of anime girls, or how that chinese massage dude gave us what was probably the most confused look ever once he saw the hat.

I can't stress enough how much of a trooper Arariel was. He took care of the logistics and lookout for segway'd mall cops.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

arariel posted:





Secretly, I think he wanted it as much as they did.

Just because I dressed like I was asking for it doesn't make me any less violated :gonk: And I only said that last thing as I was leaving regarding the anime guitar player!

Again, I'm glad people liked the pics, I'm seriously a terrible person who says terrible things & makes terrible decisions, and you really shouldn't eat a hat I mean what in the hell is wrong with you?!?

I'm still full from yesterday and I think my colon is going to murder me in my sleep. I think that means it's time to close the thread and goldmine it soon.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

Xinlum posted:

I'm a fat neckbeark that isn't afraid to try new things? I got no idea why I want to eat a hat. I'm mainly just filled with that sense of exploration every kid gets when they eat a quarter.

I know you probably don't care, nor do you care to realize the fact that it's this apathy that makes you really gross, but it's a matter of safety & not being a total goober. I already took care of the total goober part. Eating a hat just for the sake of the Internet is incredibly stupid (believe me, I can testify to this).

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Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002
Yeah, sorry Xinlum decided to Two Worlds and end this thread on a sour note.

To conclude: Don't ask GBS to do your homework, don't engage in sexual intercourse with an Erlenmeyer Flask (it won't work), don't open your stupid mouth, and most importantly don't eat a goddamn hat. Thanks for playing!