Ghostbusters: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Ghostbusters: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

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I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Icon-Cat posted:

Thanks for the kind words, folks.

As I've said many times, I am leery of self-publishing this in the fashion we usually see it in, for whatever reason. Perhaps my thought, however petulant, is, "If it can't be a proper book, it shouldn't be a book at all, it should be something else." I am working on how I would lay out the Web project version, how I would incorporate pictures or media clips� I've even changed the title.

I suppose I should at least try submitting to academic publishers, but geez, you look up the selections from Fancypants University Press and it's all so dry and the sales rank on Amazon is something past one millionth place. I didn't write a loving grad-student textbook. My tone is more, I don't know, a classy magazine like The New York Times Magazine or somesuch. Literate, not the lightest reading, but still something accessible to the serious-minded high school kid, I think.

Maybe if I make my book into a Web project I can make the hook "Let's get this guy to write GB3,* or at least loving read the script they have and tell them if it's any good or not."

* As a complete side note, and I may have mentioned this before: you would think that I had a million and one ideas for a GB3, given my love for the film.

I don't. I really don't.

I wrote a GB3 fan fic script in high school, like most other well-adjusted kids. It involved passing the torch to the Extreme Ghostbusters. Oh, and Louis was a Ghostbuster too. So, nine Ghostbusters, two cars. Big showdown in Times Square on New Millennium's Eve with a villain-ghost so bland I find him hard to remember. I think he may have been some sort of fire spirit.

Ugh.

Now I am older and wiser. Let us pretend Columbia did in fact call me up and say, "You. Tell us how you'd do GB3."

Well, I'll tell you.

Women.

All-female team. Eliza Dushku as the Venkman-type lead if she's still available, that could be fun.

Academic publishing caters to university libraries, pretty much. If you check the cost on those books on amazon, they're probably between $30 and $100 and have really lovely covers. Don't go by amazon sales ranks to see how they sell, but it's a super-specialty market.

EDIT: Also, kickstarter that poo poo, for sure.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2012 18:45

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:47

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

echoplex posted:

It was big.

Whose face is that on the lower right? I'm guessing it's a joke or a guide to where the bottom of the set starts?

# ¿ Apr 26, 2012 03:20

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Gatts posted:

Okay, okay, okay, check this I just thought up...I'm sorry, it popped in my head and I had to get it out.

The Ghostbusters

1. Tadanobu Asano: Just a regular joe who rolls with the situation and wants to find his passion in life.

2. Emma Watson: Over eager, overqualified, enthusiastic recent college grad with business degrees, in debt, desperately looking for work.

3. The Rock: Scientist and skeptic even when poo poo is in front of his face.

4. Danny Trejo: A globe trekking adventurer who can get intense, seeking to find his next trophy or mountain to climb.

5. Dan Akroyd: A homeless unhinged vagrant hanging around the Ghostbuster's building who knows too much about the supernatural and rambles about getting some gang back together.

6. Marcia Cross: The Boss, a bored housewife who wants to shake things up and decides to open a Ghostbusting franchise that is advertised on Craigslist. She doesn't fully understand what she's getting into or the details but she figures it'll all work out.

7. Priyanka Chopra: Regular joe's good natured wife, breadwinner, and the one with the most sense to help ground things.

8. Mel Gibson: A demonic un-God capable of untold horror summoned by cultists to rule the world and oppress mankind but all he really just wants is to go sight seeing and enjoy life. Is forced to command his forces of darkness because of some legal document he had signed in blood that modern day lawyers and politicians studied, found loopholes, and it turns out he is the one who has to obey them.

9. Alison Brie and Elizabeth Banks: Succubi and capable henchwomen.

10. Seth Rogan, Paul Rudd and Tina Fey: the Cult leaders who take this poo poo as serious business. Politicians, lawyers, business executives, they don't gently caress around and are capable of a lot of harsh, evil poo poo.

I do think it's a good idea not to replicate the original characters with new actors, as much as remakes seem like they're all about reliving the familiar.

# ¿ May 20, 2013 06:15

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SubponticatePoster posted:

That seems to me the best way to do it. You don't have to deal with them all being too fat/aged for crazy action, they don't have to be in the same place to do it, and you can make a really good videogame for a fraction of the budget of a hollywood movie with more whizbang effects.

I thought Murray seemed really flat at the beginning but he kinda warmed up. Also this time you could get Sigourney Weaver since she skipped the last one on a misunderstanding.

I'm sad that Lorenzo Music is dead. I would love to hear his relaxed, comforting version of Bill Murray (i.e. the only voice he ever did) a few more times.

Would it be the worst thing ever for them to just get Arsinio Hall, Maurice LaMarche, and Frank Welker for more games? No Dave Coulier, though: I'll never forgive him for taking Lorenzo Music away.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 01:26

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

They just all look fatter and older, except Ernie Hudson. It's just a constant reminder of how good all these 80s guys were in their prime, and a portent of how lovely the next decade was going to be for all of them. The whole film is haunted by constant reminders of creeping mortality and the inevitable death of all things.

It makes me feel the same way as the first Star Trek movie.

Also, why did anyone go on Peter's show if he just made fun of them all?

# ¿ Dec 30, 2013 06:40

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

MrJacobs posted:

Was there an actual purpose to the original deleted scene or was it just some hosed up idea Ackroyd had to see if he could throw in a ghost BJ and get away with it?

He's probably got hundreds of pages of notes about ghost sex that he would love to tell you about. I'm sure that he thinks a lot of the ghost details are in the script for realism.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 01:40

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The_Doctor posted:

A weirdly edited version of GB is on channel 5 in the UK right now. It's got "This man has no dick" but no "I have seen poo poo that'll turn you white!"

Also, the "The walls in the 53rd precinct are bleeding." guy has the best voice.

"I've seen poo poo that would turn you--into some kind of rodent!"

# ¿ Jun 13, 2014 20:54

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The_Doctor posted:

I'd be fine with that. Maurice LaMarche is alive, after all.

But not Lorenzo Music. :smith:

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 22:26

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

That tombstone is about 20 years too generous unless he starts going a lot easier on the crystal skull vodka.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2014 00:27

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Feig is a good choice though, because he will at least have respect for the source material. He was a lonely nerd teen in 1985, which means the movie probably left a deep impression on him.

The only remake I would trust him with more would be The Jerk.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2014 23:43

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Did he do that with any other terrible sequel ideas? Like, "Belushi's death is a minor issue! It can be touching within the narrative, and I have a spare! Macauley Culkin will be his long-lost kid!"

I don't know why anyone would listen to him about Ghostbusters after Blues Brothers 2000. He is basically Comedy George Lucas.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2014 15:13

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I kind of like the idea of a Ghostbusters sequel that's all about how you can't recapture the magic of the original and have to move on. Nostalgia will be the ghost.

Have Alison Brie or whoever be a turbo-fan of the original Ghostbusters who loves 80s New York. She curates an ignored and under-funded museum in the original firehouse, and Ray loves it and is always loitering there while Winston doesn't want anything to do with it. One day, something ghost-related kills Ray and she decides to put a new team together, trying to find replacements like we just did: a Spengler type, a Venkman type, a Winston type. But poo poo goes wrong and the team doesn't really gel: they're not quite the same and don't get along or really replicate the old team. The classic approach isn't really right for the situation. At the 3/4 mark, she tracks down Venkman for advice in a scene that should be a show-stopping cameo, but he's just an old man who doesn't really give a poo poo and tries to use nostalgia to seduce her in a gross way. In the end, she has to give up and try something completely different. And the different thing is good and she feels good about it, and leaving the past behind was the best thing she could have done.

Will it be a hit?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2014 15:28

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Now I know how Game of Thrones should end.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2014 19:03

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

hhhat posted:

Ghostbusters, being 'new' in theaters, has a front page entry on Rottentomatoes. It has a 97% which is fitting. But it's not 100%. Which means there are negative reviews from the original release.

If you ever want to know what it's like to look into the mind of someone devoid of all joy and human spirit, here you go.

And I quote, "with all this going on, there is more attention to special effects than to humor." I bet hearing that song on the radio all summer just drove her up the loving wall.

Gonna go see it this week. Grainy transfer and all. And it will be glorious.

Jesus Christ. This is like those archived usenet postings from 1995 that say the Simpsons started going downhill in season 3.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2014 02:27

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Anonymous Robot posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaIZvCDWAcQ

I love that all the onlookers respond to him with confusion and disgust.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2014 18:26

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Feig's a perfect choice. You know he was one of the nerds who loved it to death. He's talked about what an influence The Jerk was on his adolescence, and I feel there's a pretty big overlap there between audiences even if the movies strike different tones.

Still, how many scripts from Akroyd have died on arrival?

# ¿ Oct 8, 2014 23:35

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

The dude DID make Freaks and Geeks, though.

Edit: obviously he doesn't give a drat about his reputation.

And a far better choice than Apatow.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 17:52

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The Merkinman posted:

Oh so it has to be all women just to fill some sjw quota, OK.

And where's my White History Month?

# ¿ Oct 11, 2014 21:21

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Allison Brie does some pretty good face business and physical stuff. I think she'd be good for a young Akroyd type earnest goofball if we're limited to the familiar character palate. I say mix up the generations.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2014 01:43

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Nothing makes nerd madder than black actors invading their fantasies. Have they ever been cool with a black person being cast in something that comes out of an existing property?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2014 17:29

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The_Doctor posted:

You know what? I want Sigourney Weaver as Wilma Peck, from the EPA, in the new film.

Amy Poehler.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2014 19:05

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX!

If this exists I hope that it is as lovingly crafted as the Batman porn parody.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 20:57

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SocketWrench posted:

Ok, I laughed so hard I near pee'd myself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0pnTm-KK9k

They really duplicated young Akroyd very exactly there. Major props for getting the right hairline and keeping him thin.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 16:29

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

It has some very good reference to recent history, as they joke about resurrecting the build team, who only recently got fired.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2014 01:34

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I think it will be generally agreeable and also totally forgettable. Has the last 15 years or so of endless brand reinvigoration/franchise-grabbing produced anything worth remembering, or just the same old poo poo in a familiar bag?

EDIT: I guess Batman counts

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 00:20

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The answer may depend partially on whether or not you're white.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2015 18:25

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Please tell me they have locked down the ageless Reginald VelJohnson as a city cop, or maybe his wife from Family Matters.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 03:40

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Crossposted from the greenlighted thread:

http://imgur.com/m9iPAZy?desktop=1

I AM GRANDO fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Jan 29, 2015

# ¿ Jan 29, 2015 01:18

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

He's looking really good these days. Probably the best preserved of the bunch (counting Ramis is cheating) by at least a decade.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 02:31

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

This 'lightning in a bottle' poo poo is straight ridiculous. Fans have lost all sense of perspective, and it's like "oh woe! Nothing will ever be as good as the first time. There'll never be a funnier comedian than Ernie Hudson! His powers were sent by Zeus himself, and now the gods have forsaken us!!!"

I should have known that you'd eventually out yourself as a white supremacist.

Look, some movies just capture the spirit of the age and just capture the work and vision of many people working well together perfectly and beautifully, like flies in amber. It would be like trying to make more Star Wars movies after the early 1980s, which thank god nobody has tried.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 05:27

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Even as a kid seeing it in the theater, I knew Ghostbusters 2 was trash. It bothered me to see the young, passionate, vibrant young men of the first film looking tired, fat, sick, and old. Sigourney Weaver is the only one with any life in her in that one.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 00:21

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

The agony of shitheel nerds gives me strength. The movie might end up kind of The Thing remake levels of bland or not bad, but I will remember forever the squeals of human garbage having to let girls into their clubhouse. It never gets old.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 20:55

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

There's going to be weird fetish porn based in this movie, isn't there?

Oh god, there's already ghostbusters fetish stuff, isn't there?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 03:44

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Nonwhite people who live in New York: Ernie Hudson, Reginald VelJohnson

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 21:05

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Ensign_Ricky posted:

So, uh, Feig's getting a little butthurt.

Hookay. Yes, there are some misogynistic asshats out there, Feig. I won't waste anyone's time by denying that.

BUT.

What most people I know are opposed to is the idea that this is a reboot erasing the previous movies. If they are opposed to the casting, like I am, it's not because it's an all-women affair. It's because that they don't find this cast funny.

And Feig, if you wanna break the laws of time and space to make me Batman, fly at her.

Remakes don't erase the originals unless they're so good that everybody forgets about the originals. You can have and even enjoy both at the same time.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2015 01:52

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

How did the new Thing, Robocop, and Total Recall do? Those are probably the closest analogues.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 18:11

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Max Landis talks about his failed Ghostbusters script on this week's X-Files Files podcast with Kumail Nanjiani and makes it sound pretty fun. Also he has to skirt an NDA while doing it and that's a big part of what makes it fun.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2015 01:30

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Busting makes the ghostbusters feel good. Most of the people in the movie get pissed at the ghostbusters for wrecking up their houses or being dicks.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 20:39

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Ray Parker Jr. is a genuine sexual predator in that video. I don't understand why Norm from Cheers would agree to have any part of it. Chevy Chase I of course understand completely.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 21:46

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:47

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Dan Akroyd has been trying and failing to destroy ghostbusters for like 30 years.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 00:29

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Ghostbusters: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

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