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SANS SERlF 4 LYFE
Jun 25, 2009

by Lowtax


I enjoy buttsex, both giving and receiving. I saw a video of some guy (It might have been the Goatman, I'm not sure) buttfucking himself. Since it would be like being a top and a bottom at the same time, I decided to give it a shot. My method I've been using so far is as follows:

I work my way up to a semi. Nothing fancy, it's still floppy, but with some extra length. I stretch it out to where it reaches my rear end in a top hat. I try pushing in the head, but by this time I either lose my erection since it's hard to massage your dick when it's running along your taint or I get too horny and it starts to hurt. Then I give up and I really don't want to masturbate because my dick smells like poop and I use saliva to lube up.

The second problem is really the one I want a solution to. Ideally I'd like to get a full erection and orgasm inside my own rear end, but my dick isn't that flexible. Is there a way to increase dick flexibility? I don't want to damage anything.

Has anyone else had success with this? I can suck myself, but that's more spine flexibility than dick flexibility although you need to reposition it since an erection comes at your mouth at a weird angle. Basically what I'm saying is I'm no stranger to pleasuring myself with body parts other than my hand so I figure I could probably make this work with some advice.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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happy cabbage
Mar 1, 2008

Where did I put that sunscreen?

I really hope this is a fakepost. Seriously dude?

Princess Propeller
Jan 18, 2007

A DYKE MADE MY ASS BLEED
ASK ME MORE


You'll have to cut your balls off.

Iron Squid
Nov 23, 2005

by Ozmaugh


Find another man who won't be missed. A hobo works good for this. Lop off his dick.

Cut the end off his now-severed dick.

Now this is where it gets tricky because you have to cut off the end of YOUR cock. Quickly, before too much blood loss, sew the length of hobo-wang onto your dick then sew the end of the your dick back on.

If you've done it right, you've now lengthened your penis by a few inches and self-buttsex is possible! Enjoy.

Noni
Jul 8, 2003
ASK ME ABOUT DEFRAUDING GOONS WITH HOT DOGS AND HOW I BANNED EPIC HAMCAT


Two words, my friend: Mop handle.

I have a mop handle up my rear end right now and it's fantastic.

Kobalt
Mar 19, 2003



Google Image Search (safesearch off): loopback

Also if you succeed (You've already mentioned you suck seed. ), when people tell you "Go gently caress yourself", you can.

Noni
Jul 8, 2003
ASK ME ABOUT DEFRAUDING GOONS WITH HOT DOGS AND HOW I BANNED EPIC HAMCAT


Another idea is to get the device from the videgame, Portal. You cast one portal on a pillow, and the other portal on the base of a chair. Then you can literally gently caress yourself in the rear end by moving the pillow back and forth.

1830
May 2, 2009


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtcfguCuHkk

A video on how to go f*ck yourself.

Thats what you want right?

Crunchy Munster
Mar 24, 2008

Here we go again.

Cucumbers anyone?

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Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004

I have a dream, that I may one day post in a forum where a goon may be judged not by the color of his avatar, but by the content of his posts!

Noni posted:

Two words, my friend: Mop handle.

I have a mop handle up my rear end right now and it's fantastic.

You can get some cleaning done too!

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