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dotti
Sep 7, 2002
Sometimes I say things...


I'm a guy. Until about a year ago I considered myself totally straight, now for the last year I've been going "wait a minute..." and to summarize a long and crazy adventure, I can confidently say now I'm bisexual. I'm attracted to both men and women, although at this point in time as far as dating goes, I'm exclusively into men. I've dated enough girls, I'm looking to try something new. However I am still very much attracted to girls, I check them out all the time, I flirt with them for fun, etc.

Eventually when I'm done satisfying my curiosity of boys, I'll want to date a girl again. That time is not now, but it will come. I have plenty of bi female friends that would probably enjoy being with a bi guy just as much or more than a hetero guy, since it's something they'd have in common. Here is where my concern/questions comes in. I want to know what kind of perceptions straight girls have of bi guys. I know some girls think it's a turn on, some say it's a turn off. I know sometimes even gay-friendly straight girls dislike the idea of being with a bi guy. What do you think about this? Why? Are you aware of any social stigma or stereotypes of bisexual men? Would you be less interested in a guy who is openly bisexual? How would you feel if you were interested in a guy and liked him a lot, and then after a while he told you he was bi?

Semi-related story: I used to be a member of Match.com, and on that website you can be gay or straight but not bi. (I don't understand why, but I digress.) So I just had my profile set up to look like I was straight, and sometimes I'd switch it over to gay so I could browse men, then put it back when I was done. (I was primarily looking for girls at the time.) I ended up meeting a girl named Karen who lived a couple towns away, she was a 95% match for my personality, we had a lot of things in common. We were writing back and forth, she seems cool, then we started texting each other and she's like "Hey we should hang out in real life, I'll take you to a bar and educate you on beer" and I was like "That sounds sweet". Shortly thereafter I put into my profile info that I was bi, since you can't select a box that says that. As soon as I did that she cut off communication, didn't answer my calls or texts, the one thing she sent was an email via Match saying "oh sorry my paid membership expired". (Which it obviously hadn't because you need a membership to send emails.) That was a rather frustrating and disappointing experience and was what originally spawned the idea for this thread.

Sidenote: I've been thinking about this topic for a while now, but been too lazy to post a thread. I had no idea there would already be another bisexual thread on page 1 the day I decided to post this. Weird coincidence.

Edit: LOL.
Click here for the full 957x420 image.

dotti fucked around with this message at Oct 21, 2009 around 22:12

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borealis
May 18, 2008


Most of the 'bisexual' guys I know are just 'bisexual' in name only and are a bit too sheepish to come out of the closet fully. If I was single, it wouldn't necessarily detract me from dating them, but I'd be a bit skeptical of their sexual identity.

Plus, being in my early 20s, I know a lot of people in both genders who use 'bisexual' as a blanket term to mean 'I want to gently caress whoever I have an opportunity to gently caress, regardless of gender' and that slut mentality is something I'm personally not comfortable with. I've only met one person who is genuinely bisexual, in that they have dated both men and women on a serious level.

luscious
Mar 8, 2005

Push it to the limit
Push it through the pain
I push it for the pleasure like the virgin to the game

Girl put in work


I don't understand the whole "he's gay that's an issue" mentality. I mean, as long as everyone is safe and whatever who gives a poo poo if a guy has female and male past partners?
I guess that some of it might be that men having sex with men grosses some people out. But I doubt you would want to be with them, anyway.

borealis posted:

Plus, being in my early 20s, I know a lot of people in both genders who use 'bisexual' as a blanket term to mean 'I want to gently caress whoever I have an opportunity to gently caress, regardless of gender' and that slut mentality is something I'm personally not comfortable with. I've only met one person who is genuinely bisexual, in that they have dated both men and women on a serious level.

I think that's more pansexuality however I don't see how having sex with men and women is a slut mentality. I also don't understand how serious dating is a qualifier for a sexuality? I think that this is partially what causes people to think that bi guys are not datable... that they are more likely to not take dating seriously.
I'm not accusing you of thinking this way!

vikivil
Jul 15, 2007


I generally feel that they're gay.

tse1618
May 27, 2008

Cuddle time!

I don't think I could date a bi guy.

I'm one of those gay friendly girls you mentioned. I've been friends with bi guys before and that's no problem, and I can't even think of any solid reasons why I wouldn't want to do date a bi guy, I just wouldn't.

When I was about 16 I'd been dating this guy for a year, and he confessed to me that he was bi and had a crush on his best guy friend. I tried hard not to let it effect our relationship and I knew it must have been very hard for him to tell me, but the whole thing went downhill very quickly after that. I just couldn't stand being around him and his best friend and knowing that while he was dating me he wanted this guy too.

Maybe I'd be able to know that I'm somewhat older, but I doubt it. Like I said, no real reasons I can verbalize about why, the idea just bothers me.

luscious
Mar 8, 2005

Push it to the limit
Push it through the pain
I push it for the pleasure like the virgin to the game

Girl put in work


tse1618 posted:

Maybe I'd be able to know that I'm somewhat older, but I doubt it. Like I said, no real reasons I can verbalize about why, the idea just bothers me.

I think that a lot of people feel that a guy interested in men is interested in any man, which is weird because I don't worry that straight men that I date are interested in every woman who is around. I also think that it's a little bit of homophobia, too.

Dr Arrogant
Sep 18, 2008



Both my fiance and I are pretty much bisexuals but we rarely talk or worry about it. Both sides know that we are both attracted to both genders, and in fact it does give us a little something extra in common. It's definitely a mixed blessing, I have to worry about her with her lady friends and she has to worry about me with my guy friends in addition to the standard jealousies. Honestly, that can be the hardest or easiest part depending on how much you trust your partner (we trust one another quite a lot but I still get worried and jealous-ish sometimes).

We've had others in our bed and it has been absolutely amazing every time. Just to be super freaky we're looking for a girlfriend nowadays. An interesting note about our relationship is that I wouldn't want to have a guy in THIS relationship due to some sort of trust (maybe control?) issue on my part. If I were dating a guy I would want to date him first and then for us to get a gal together. I really can't explain the logic behind that any further. It doesn't really matter anyway because we typically differ on the type of guy we find attractive.

For the record, I've never had trouble getting girls. How's a girl gonna know if you're bisexual anyway? They can't tell with me at least. If a girl asked me if I were straight or not, I'd say no. However, I wouldn't go out and just blurt to my significant other that I am attracted to my pal Stan, because that's an rear end in a top hat move regardless of gender or sexual preference. That's putting undue pressure on your partner to compete and is pretty much just stupid. You have to at least contextualize your feelings first. Make it clear that it's just a physical attraction like you could feel toward anyone and present it in a way that presents no threat to the relationship. If you think the gal will have a problem with your orientation just don't mention it. You're not part of a loving team, just be you. There's no obligation to fly any colors or anything. If you absolutely must say something to a girl you want to be with then make sure you contextualize what you're telling the person so it doesn't come out as "BTW I'm looking at other people while we're in/building an exclusive relationship."

PS, guy here, sorry OP

KingColliwog
May 15, 2003

Let's go droogs

luscious posted:

I think that a lot of people feel that a guy interested in men is interested in any man, which is weird because I don't worry that straight men that I date are interested in every woman who is around. I also think that it's a little bit of homophobia, too.

I think one of the big problem is that you probably have more chances (or feel like you have more chances) to be cheated on by a bi guy. Having sex with a guy and with a girl is obviously not the same thing and I can understand why a girl would feel like the guy had big chances of cheating on him with a guy eventually.

I guess you could say that every guy will want to gently caress other girls, but I think it must be quite harder not to cheat when it "repress" half of your sexuality.

KayBelle
May 4, 2006
Yeah.

Every bi person I've ever met (of either gender) just loved men.

KayBelle fucked around with this message at Oct 21, 2009 around 23:23

Dr Arrogant
Sep 18, 2008



KingColliwog posted:

I think one of the big problem is that you probably have more chances (or feel like you have more chances) to be cheated on by a bi guy. Having sex with a guy and with a girl is obviously not the same thing and I can understand why a girl would feel like the guy had big chances of cheating on him with a guy eventually.

I guess you could say that every guy will want to gently caress other girls, but I think it must be quite harder not to cheat when it "repress" half of your sexuality.

Do you repress 99% of your sexuality by not sleeping with 99% of the people you'd like to in your preferred gender? There's a fundamental difference between being dishonest with yourself about your sexual preference and repressing your sexuality. I have a ridiculous sex drive, but somehow, by being a rational, almost human, being I am able to remain staunchly loyal to my partner and would never dream of cheating on her with anything but a picture of Lindsay Lohan (when she was still hot). Yes, I'm repressing my sex drive. It's not even remotely bothersome if you're comfortable with yourself. I've always hated the gay community's stance on being born or predestined to be gay or whatever it is they're still pitching. I see that that excuse was a useful political tool to get us where we are today but it's time to shed that skin and move beyond simple boundaries.

Edit for clarity: What I mean is that a bisexual "represses" their sexuality exactly the same way a straight person does when in a relationship. At least that seems to be the case to me.

Dr Arrogant fucked around with this message at Oct 21, 2009 around 23:38

teacup
Dec 20, 2006


It's just another stereotype. It might not be fair, but I'd get used to it. It's sad, really, I've actually heard a girl say this and also bring up the disease issue ("Guys who are bi could get STDs from when they are with other guys and bring them to the girls, like AIDS, HIV") but she is otherwise pro gay rights/people/anything really, and I brought it up, and she actually said gay people were more careful (WTF)

I think she was covering once realising her own stupidity there but it's a stigma that exists, and I think in general it's quite interesting to see the bi community in this situation (Maybe interesting is the wrong word, I'm just talking from a sociology standpoint) in that it's like in many ways the mixed race community of various countries/cultures, not accepted by both of their sides.

KingColliwog
May 15, 2003

Let's go droogs

Dr Arrogant posted:

Do you repress 99% of your sexuality by not sleeping with 99% of the people you'd like to in your preferred gender? There's a fundamental difference between being dishonest with yourself about your sexual preference and repressing your sexuality. I have a ridiculous sex drive, but somehow, by being a rational, almost human, being I am able to remain staunchly loyal to my partner and would never dream of cheating on her with anything but a picture of Lindsay Lohan (when she was still hot). Yes, I'm repressing my sex drive. It's not even remotely bothersome if you're comfortable with yourself. I've always hated the gay community's stance on being born or predestined to be gay or whatever it is they're still pitching. I see that that excuse was a useful political tool to get us where we are today but it's time to shed that skin and move beyond simple boundaries.

Edit for clarity: What I mean is that a bisexual "represses" their sexuality exactly the same way a straight person does when in a relationship. At least that seems to be the case to me.

Like I said

quote:

I think one of the big problem is that you probably have more chances (or feel like you have more chances) to be cheated on by a bi guy. Having sex with a guy and with a girl is obviously not the same thing and I can understand why a girl would feel like the guy had big chances of cheating on him with a guy eventually.

I guess you could say that every guy will want to gently caress other girls, but I think it must be quite harder not to cheat when it "repress" half of your sexuality.

I think there's a big difference or at least the perception of a difference between not loving other girls and not loving a whole gender you want to gently caress. I mean isn't the temptation higher just because you can't get something similar in a relationship with a girl? May be it isn't I wouldn't know, but but every hetero I've talked about this with agreed. Like I said in my original post, it might not be the truth, but this is definitely how most hetero feel.

KingColliwog fucked around with this message at Oct 21, 2009 around 23:45

Astfgl
Aug 31, 2001



Most girls I know think that bi men are just closeted gays testing the waters.

Edit: I do not share this opinion.

Dumbfire Rocketman
Jul 30, 2009


KayBelle posted:

Every bi person I've ever met (of either gender) just loved men.

Homo-superior?

Dr Arrogant
Sep 18, 2008



KingColliwog posted:

Like I said


I think there's a big difference or at least the perception of a difference between not loving other girls and not loving a whole gender you want to gently caress. I mean isn't the temptation higher just because you can't get something similar in a relationship with a girl? May be it isn't I wouldn't know, but but every hetero I've talked about this with agreed. Like I said in my original post, it might not be the truth, but this is definitely how most hetero feel.

I'll tell ya it's not how most heterosexual women that I've met felt. I've dated a lot of people in my time. As far as my sexuality getting in the way of things with women, a single incident comes to mind. This girl who was 2 grades below me in high school asked me out. At the time I was kinda going after a guy, and didn't have any interest in dating her so I figured telling her I was gay would be a good way to end it with minimal awkwardness. A year passed, she lost about 40 pounds and went up a bra size and became a lot more mature and like-able. I realized I had a huge crush on her and felt like I couldn't do anything to act on it because of what I said. From then I was determined to avoid the straight/ gay/ bi thing. I just flirt with the people I'm interested to let them know I'm interested, and let them draw their own conclusions.

That being said, I've dated hard-line religious chicks, artists, dancers (actually every possible combination of those three traits I've dated), a hippy, and an Ayn Rand style political conservative (all girls here, I've only dated one guy). All of them knew that I was also into guys. NONE of them ever had any kind of a problem with it that they vocalized. One cheated on me, and I broke up with about half and was broken up with by the other half. All on good terms except for the cheating. Maybe it somehow closed doors for me that I never even realized but I'll tell ya as a guy who's engaged with a lovely woman whom I get to share the pleasure of courting others with, it sure as Hell hasn't made much of a difference to me except I'm able to appreciate both genders.

Edit: Maybe if I carried around a flag that said bisexual all the time it would change people's opinions of me? Maybe if I acted really effeminate? I don't do either of those things and am pretty much spared the stereotypical bullshit that people like you enjoy spewing.

Dr Arrogant fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2009 around 00:05

MasBrillante
Dec 3, 2005
Carbonated Water

I don't believe that bisexual people are more promiscuous or more likely to cheat or anything.

My whole problem stems from the fact that I've never met a bisexual guy (or girl for that matter) who didn't eventually decide that they were gay and always had been. I'm sure it doesn't reflect amazingly on me, but if I were dating a bisexual person, I think I would fear that they were only dating me because I fit into their closeted comfort zone. I just wouldn't want to be the girl who got dumped when her boyfriend decided he was gay.

It's not that I believe all bisexual people are faking. Please don't misunderstand. Rather I believe that social stigmas have made many gay people to feel that is more socially acceptable to claim bisexuality than homosexuality. So I guess when I contemplated it, I always felt like I could never know whether a partner was truly bisexual or whether they were just uncomfortable acknowledging their true sexuality.

Edit: Just to reiterate, I am NOT of the opinion that "bisexual men are just gay men testing the waters." I am of the opinion that unfortunately, people who are confused about their sexuality or scared of it have made it difficult for me to take someone at their word that they are truly bisexual absent proof.

MasBrillante fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2009 around 00:07

Dr Arrogant
Sep 18, 2008



MasBrillante posted:

I don't believe that bisexual people are more promiscuous or more likely to cheat or anything.

My whole problem stems from the fact that I've never met a bisexual guy (or girl for that matter) who didn't eventually decide that they were gay and always had been. I'm sure it doesn't reflect amazingly on me, but if I were dating a bisexual person, I think I would fear that they were only dating me because I fit into their closeted comfort zone. I just wouldn't want to be the girl who got dumped when her boyfriend decided he was gay.

It's not that I believe all bisexual people are faking. Please don't misunderstand. Rather I believe that social stigmas have made many gay people to feel that is more socially acceptable to claim bisexuality than homosexuality. So I guess when I contemplated it, I always felt like I could never know whether a partner was truly bisexual or whether they were just uncomfortable acknowledging their true sexuality.

Ever consider that maybe "true sexuality" is something you convinced yourself exists to make yourself more comfortable with yourself, and as a free pass to intellectual laziness when it comes to human relationships? I believe that many gay people do this too, by the way, so don't feel too bad. Emphasis on human because all gays, straights, and bi's at least have that in common. They're trying to get laid with people in whatever way they think will feel best.

Sorry OP, I'm hijacking this thread to get up on a soapbox. I'll try to leave this be after this.

Vulpes
Nov 13, 2002

Well, shit.


KayBelle posted:

Every bi person I've ever met (of either gender) just loved men.

Pretty much this. Which leads to two generalizations:

1. Bi women identify that way for attention, not because they are genuinely attracted to other women.
2. Bi guys identify that way because they are scared/not confident enough to fully out themselves (as someone said earlier).

I know this isn't true for everybody but it's certain common enough to become a stereotype.

Aidan_702
Feb 17, 2006

WADDAYA WANT FER CHRIMBO BABE ;^)


Kinda the opposite point of the thread, but I'm a straight male, and my longest relationship was with a Bi girl and holy gently caress did that make me jealous [and it turned I was right to be >=( ] but in that relationship, I was clearly uncomfortable with it, which I feel bad about, but at the same time I got a lot of 'but with you I'm surpressing my whole other side of my sexuality, I have a right to do stuff with girls it's not like it matters'
Although I would also argue against that.

Yeah, and the girl she cheated on me with had a very devoted boyfriend herself and she would practically persue whole relationships with girls and have sex with them, and whine to him when they didn't like her back, but if he looked at another girl she would murder him. Then she crushed him by dumping him for a girl (who my girlfriend also liked >=( )

Basically I'm annoyed and with an agenda against bi girls now. EVERY bi girl I know seems to think it's fine to have a boyfriend (with no other freedom) and not even barely consider how maybe the idea that 'it's only a girl it doesn't matter!' can be unfair or problematic. Every single one I've met!

Every bi guy I know, they all see the problem.
Okay that's my rant over.

Astfgl
Aug 31, 2001



Aidan_702 posted:

Basically I'm annoyed and with an agenda against bi girls now. EVERY bi girl I know seems to think it's fine to have a boyfriend (with no other freedom) and not even barely consider how maybe the idea that 'it's only a girl it doesn't matter!' can be unfair or problematic. Every single one I've met!

Generalization #3: Bi people can't have monogamous relationships

Edit: I'm not saying this is what you think.

angrykid
Apr 9, 2006

My puppy progeny will prove themselves well-trained, classy, and dignified.

I dated a bi guy for a while. He honestly preferred women over men most of the time. However he was an rear end and cheated on me a bunch and got mad at me when I got upset about this. Unfortunately every bisexual guy really reminds me of him.

So never again will I date a bisexual man.

Small-town douche
May 1, 2009

by Ozma


angrykid posted:

I dated a bi guy for a while. He honestly preferred women over men most of the time. However he was an rear end and cheated on me a bunch and got mad at me when I got upset about this. Unfortunately every bisexual guy really reminds me of him.

So never again will I date a bisexual man.


As a bi guy in a relationship with a girl , I can tell you resisting all the offers I get is pretty hard. Sex with men is just not like sex with women, it's totally different. I told my girlfriend about it and she feels like it's cheating so I obviously don't do it.

Cichlid the Loach
Oct 22, 2006

Brave heart, Doctor.


I did go out with a guy once who was maybe 10% bi, if that. Basically there were some guys he found pretty and didn't mind saying so, but he'd never (and I believe has still never) actually done anything with a guy. He had some kind of "feminine" quirks too, and I did worry from time to time that he was actually gay and mistaking some kind of sisterly empathy toward me for attraction. But I also thought it was kind of cool that we could chat about and agree on which other guys were hot, without anybody getting jealous.

Right now I feel like a true bi guy would be the loophole to obtaining my holy grail: the hot gay guy. Keep chasing the dream.

borealis
May 18, 2008


luscious posted:

I think that's more pansexuality however I don't see how having sex with men and women is a slut mentality. I also don't understand how serious dating is a qualifier for a sexuality?

It is more of a volume thing than a gender thing. I would also take somebody's sexuality more seriously if they attempted relationships beyond fleeting sexual encounters - how many 'bisexual' girls do you know who hook up with girls in college for attention but will only have relationships with men?

MINT WIZARD
Apr 24, 2007

This isn't going to stop until Pictionary bans the word windmill.


God dammit male bisexuals exist. Bisexual erasure pisses me the gently caress off. I'm not in fact just too scared to come out of the closet. It's kind of depressing to have your sexuality be explained away as gay and ashamed/confused.

Dr Arrogant
Sep 18, 2008



Vulpes posted:

Pretty much this. Which leads to two generalizations:

1. Bi women identify that way for attention, not because they are genuinely attracted to other women.
2. Bi guys identify that way because they are scared/not confident enough to fully out themselves (as someone said earlier).

I know this isn't true for everybody but it's certain common enough to become a stereotype.

Alright, last one here guys, I swear.

Let me be clear that I'm only currently addressing the point that I quoted.

In my experience, people only have that stereotype when it's totally abstracted to exclude the actual people you're making those allegations about. I've known maybe 5-6 people in my whole life that actually identified as being a bisexual for more than maybe a month and most of them have lived up to it. However, a lot of people do call themselves bisexuals who may or may not come to prefer one gender over another to potentially varying degrees.

The pressure and double standard that we apply to the sexually confused is absolutely insane. Both gays and straights expect them to make up their minds to be one of our three holy alignments of straight, gay, or bisexual (except you have to prove it to be a bisexual for some reason, people will only take your word at 100% if you say you're gay because that's typically seen as the bad one) without any period of experiment and without any way of testing the waters without being branded by others and feel the need to brand themselves. I certainly don't deny the stereotypes are there. I also don't deny that most people who claim bisexuality generally either claim to be straight or gay at a later time. Personally, I see people's motivations for doing things changing all the time so I don't think it's too outrageous to think that can be applied to sexuality. Personally, I know that I'm attracted to both men and women and have never really questioned that. People still want to know what percent or whatever, and honestly, for me, it varies. I realize I can only speak for myself but I do believe there is some degree of variance brought upon by things like learning, culture, availability of sex etc.

The whole "true sexuality" thing, I should note, doesn't really stand the test of time or across cultures. In many hard lining Muslim population sodomy between young males is quite common, for example, because of a lack of access to women. Them having sex with guys doesn't make them gay in their eyes, but it certainly doesn't help the argument that sexuality is a rigid thing. I could go on but this is way too long already and I'm only half done.

So many people are coming to realize that it's okay to question yourself. This trend isn't going away, either, with the huge surge of homosexuality in the media and its fashionable portrayal. When people have a real problem with bisexuals, and not just in the abstract vague stereotyping way, it's because they are simply homophobic (and it's generally actually MORE okay to be bisexual than it is to be gay in my experience. I have never once even been teased or harassed in any way over my sexuality but I have seen people tease and harass gays. I've also never heard anyone talk about bisexuality negatively at all including the 95% of people who have no idea that I'm bisexual). That has been my personal experience. But why oh why do the stereotypes have so little impact in the actual practice of getting laid?

I'll tell ya my opinion:

1. Some people only hold these stereotypes to make themselves more confident in their sexuality. This does not impede with the bisexual's goals.

2. Like I said before, I never went around waving a flag. If you don't introduce yourself as one then they're forced to treat you like any other person. Unless you act effeminate as a man and they hate gays but that's a different issue.

3. Vocalizing those stereotypes will typically make one seen as less confident in one's own sexuality, at least where I live. (I live in New England, USA, for the record, which definitely has affected my experience).

4. I'd say that the majority of people go through some sort of vague crisis of sexuality at some time in their lives. All those bisexuals you're trashing are doing you a huge service by making your own questioning more socially acceptable (no I don't mean YOU, person who I'm replying to, I mean the royal you). That's beside the point though. The fact is that most people actually do understand the need to ask questions.

5. I've never had a problem getting along with homophobes, but I usually shut them up pretty quickly when they say homophobic things. Really confidence is what people are judging you on first and foremost. If I'm in a group, as long as the majority of the group doesn't HATE homosexuals, I'd say that I'm generally control the flow of any discussion on the matter if there is any. And that won't end as soon as you turn your back if they respect you for other reasons.

For these reasons I think that these bisexual stereotypes will go the way of the past the way our stereotypes of homosexuals are disappearing. It won't happen overnight, there are still a lot of problems, but the solution is right there for every person to attain for themselves: first stop applying strict descriptive labels to your own sexual identity (they're totally worthless alignments anyway beyond attaining or fighting against equal rights for the homosexuals), and then stop applying prescriptive labels to the sexuality of others. If you do this, I guarantee your life will improve.

One last quick quip: I realize I'm taking a very contrary tone when we don't really disagree. Same to you, guy who I was replying to before. I apologize for that. This is just an issue that raises a lot of passion in me because I think my solution of not applying labels not only makes oneself a freer person, but it allows one to literally transcend the stereotypes that others cast on you.

Like I said, OP, I never had a problem getting girls and you shouldn't either. Just be your own person, have confidence in who you are, and you'll land the ladies just as easily as a guy who calls himself straight; the women will never notice the difference. Maybe a certain type won't like you based on some abstract principles, but odds are they won't even have the chance to apply those as long as you carry yourself with the same confidence as someone that seems to have it all figured out.

Derth
Dec 6, 2005

SA is remarkably similar to middle-earth.


As a straight guy who had a close friend come out as 'bi' and then procceed to gently caress only and lots of guys I think the whole 'they aren't confident enough to say theyre gay' bears a lot of weight.

Small-town douche
May 1, 2009

by Ozma


Derth posted:

As a straight guy who had a close friend come out as 'bi' and then procceed to gently caress only and lots of guys I think the whole 'they aren't confident enough to say theyre gay' bears a lot of weight.

That of loving with guys is way easier, better, funner and more satisfying.

Gomegoth
Oct 8, 2009


OP, I think you pretty much admitted to the behavior that most would find intimidating/off-putting about dating a bisexual.

dotti posted:

Eventually when I'm done satisfying my curiosity of boys, I'll want to date a girl again.

What happens when you've satisfied you're curiosity with "girls"? And this is probably just my inner naive goon speaking, but I find it a little odd that you plan on switching eventually. Do you feel no emotional attachment to these "boys"? Are you dating them or just loving them? I can't tell.

(Not a girl)

Omegaxisalphabeta
Jul 22, 2006


luscious posted:

I think that's more pansexuality however I don't see how having sex with men and women is a slut mentality.
The common misconception is that since someone is attracted to both genders their sexual needs can only be satiated when they have sex with both a male and female.

Using this logic, all bisexuals should just absolutely love transgendered people.

luscious
Mar 8, 2005

Push it to the limit
Push it through the pain
I push it for the pleasure like the virgin to the game

Girl put in work


borealis posted:

It is more of a volume thing than a gender thing. I would also take somebody's sexuality more seriously if they attempted relationships beyond fleeting sexual encounters - how many 'bisexual' girls do you know who hook up with girls in college for attention but will only have relationships with men?

so you don't take the fact that I'm hetero seriously because I have fleeting sexual encounters with men?

I don't think that girls come out as bi in college just for attention but for a number of reasons. Curiousity is one, being in a new community with many new people is another - especially without their families near.

Dr Arrogant posted:

Ever consider that maybe "true sexuality" is something you convinced yourself exists to make yourself more comfortable with yourself, and as a free pass to intellectual laziness when it comes to human relationships? I believe that many gay people do this too, by the way, so don't feel too bad. Emphasis on human because all gays, straights, and bi's at least have that in common. They're trying to get laid with people in whatever way they think will feel best.

Sorry OP, I'm hijacking this thread to get up on a soapbox. I'll try to leave this be after this.

this is kind of how I have always felt. I don't think that it's necessary to label my sexuality and hate the word pansexual. I just tell people (if they ask...) that I like who I like and in the past that's been everyone including trans people which I don't think a lot of people really think about.

luscious fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2009 around 04:39

Covered In Bees
Aug 22, 2003

by Y Kant Ozma Post


I'd never date a bisexual guy because it's unmanly and that's unattractive.

Omegaxisalphabeta
Jul 22, 2006


Covered In Bees posted:

I'd never date a bisexual guy because it's unmanly and that's unattractive.

How is it un-manly?

Covered In Bees
Aug 22, 2003

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Omegaxisalphabeta posted:

How is it un-manly?

Sucking dick or getting penetrated is the penultimate expression of unmanly.

dotti
Sep 7, 2002
Sometimes I say things...


Quite a bit of biphobia and bisexual erasure here, I was expecting that.

vikivil posted:

I generally feel that they're gay.

Can you elaborate on this please? Are you saying that bisexuals are all closet homosexuals? I'm trying to get a thorough understanding of why people think the way they do, not just one-line responses.

Covered In Bees posted:

Sucking dick or getting penetrated is the penultimate expression of unmanly.

In your opinion, would a guy who acts completely straight (I hate using that term because it implies gay men are all effeminate, but it's the easiest to understand for terms of explaining behavior and mannerisms to straight people), dresses and acts like a dude, has manly hobbies, etc... be unmanly because he has sex with men?

Is a lesbian woman considered manly for eating pussy?

dotti fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2009 around 04:54

Huns
Apr 27, 2004

True Grit

safety dan posted:

God dammit male bisexuals exist. Bisexual erasure pisses me the gently caress off. I'm not in fact just too scared to come out of the closet. It's kind of depressing to have your sexuality be explained away as gay and ashamed/confused.
People who think bisexuals are "really straight" or "really gay" don't know what the gently caress they are talking about. Same for people who think any gay or bi thing between men is "unmanly." loving Achilles was bisexual, and there is no man who ever lived or ever will who is more manly than Achilles. Whenever these people talk all I hear after the first 20 seconds is "hwaa hwaa hwaa hwaa" like adults on Charlie Brown.

My girl knows I am bi and aside from asking me about it on a couple of occasions she doesn't appear to give a poo poo, even in the slightest. My last girl knew and she gave even less of a poo poo. Any girl who passes me up because I like both sexes is free to do so, and it's her loss, because that is a loving stupid reason.

A Fistful of Owls
Sep 2, 2006

I remember the day you followed me home.


Huns posted:

People who think bisexuals are "really straight" or "really gay" don't know what the gently caress they are talking about. Same for people who think any gay or bi thing between men is "unmanly." loving Achilles was bisexual, and there is no man who ever lived or ever will who is more manly than Achilles. Whenever these people talk all I hear after the first 20 seconds is "hwaa hwaa hwaa hwaa" like adults on Charlie Brown.

GLbt

Annoying as gently caress that gay and lesbian people are some of the worst when it comes to hating on bi people. At least with hetero people you expect it.

And I'm speaking as somebody that's lesbian-identified and used to jokingly poo poo on bi people (you need to discover your true calling as a lesbian! join the sisterhood!) but then I grew up because there's just no excuse for that kind of behavior. Of course, I have no idea what's going to happen to my sexuality once hormones start and I might very well end up bi myself.

Yawgmoft
Nov 15, 2004

"Good."


Huns posted:

People who think bisexuals are "really straight" or "really gay" don't know what the gently caress they are talking about. Same for people who think any gay or bi thing between men is "unmanly." loving Achilles was bisexual, and there is no man who ever lived or ever will who is more manly than Achilles. Whenever these people talk all I hear after the first 20 seconds is "hwaa hwaa hwaa hwaa" like adults on Charlie Brown.

Well I won't argue with your first sentence, but your third is way off the mark. Not only were the Greeks completely removed from any kind of sexuality as we would define it, but Achilles was a complete crybaby manchild. The only man in the Illiad was Hector.

Huns
Apr 27, 2004

True Grit

Yawgmoft posted:

The only man in the Illiad was Hector.
I'm pretty sure Zeus is hefting a lightning bolt with your name on it right now. Achilles was a one-man army. That's pretty manly, as I see it. Anyway, as far as I know, he is thought to have bedded both men and women. Even if the very idea of "sexual preference" hadn't been formed yet, "bisexual" is still an apt description.

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Yawgmoft
Nov 15, 2004

"Good."


Huns posted:

I'm pretty sure Zeus is hefting a lightning bolt with your name on it right now. Achilles was a one-man army. That's pretty manly, as I see it. Anyway, as far as I know, he is thought to have bedded both men and women. Even if the very idea of "sexual preference" hadn't been formed yet, "bisexual" is still an apt description.

Actually Zeus heavily favored Hector

To flesh out the second part, bisexual is still not an apt description. The Greeks worked on a completely different set of rules and ideas then we do now. For example, There was always a woman in the bed, even if there were two men. One was in an effeminate position, and it wasn't considered the same thing as sex between two men as we would see it today. Some men were actually sexually considered women their whole lives, and having sex with them was the same thing as having sex with any woman. In fact, the one group that would be considered identifying male on male sex in the way we do today was heavily vilified in its day.

In short, the Ancient Greeks shouldn't be anywhere near this discussion. To compare our sexual attitudes to theirs in any way and pretend it's applicable is like comparing apples to bananas. Let us not forget that the "manliest" group, the Spartans, just pared up 40 year olds with 10 year olds straight down the line.

Yawgmoft fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2009 around 06:49

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