|
Going through all the stories on GBS from threads like The Biggest Trainwreck You Know and such started reminding me of all the various stories of people who have been reckless, self-serving dipshits in their lives. The stories of people reaping what they sew, though, are what make me feel really  , and are consequently my favorite distractions from my placid little goon life.So let's hear your best stories of schadenfreude. To start, I really don't have that many. There are my old bandmates, though. Being musicians in L.A., their prospects were dim to begin with. My old guitarists were self-serving backstabbers and incorrigible sycophants, respectively. The only person I had any modicum of respect for was my drummer. Turns out that they're just like my car keys: "Thank god, they're exactly where I left them." 2.5 years later, I'm on the cusp of graduating with honors and a degree in something I love (game design) with a job nailed down, and my drummer is getting a recording degree while doing session work. The sycophant guitarist is still unemployed and kicking around in lovely garage bands, and the backstabber has been kicked out of every band he's been in since then. I think he's been trying to sell cosmetic supplies to friends and family. Again, .What are your best tales of smug, mindless self-validation, GBS?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:30 |
|
|
|
| # ? Nov 22, 2009 01:47 |
|
|
This one time I corrected some guy in GBS who didn't know the phrase was "just deserts," or maybe he did.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:44 |
|
|
NonConformistBurger posted:This one time I corrected some guy in GBS who didn't know the phrase was "just deserts," or maybe he did. 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:47 |
|
|
There was a diner that I went to when I was 6 that had something called a "Desert Dessert" which made me fail a spelling test but they were bought out by Denny's so I guess they got what was coming to them.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:47 |
|
|
Xenomrph posted:I never understood that. Like, "just desserts" makes way more sense because the person is getting what they deserved in the end. Desserts come at the end of a meal; deserts (gigantic stretches of endless sand) really doesn't make sense in context. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/just-deserts.html It's not a terrible crime that people get this one wrong. It's been misused enough that someone who never saw it properly used would assume desserts.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:49 |
|
|
NonConformistBurger posted:This one time I corrected some guy in GBS who didn't know the phrase was "just deserts," or maybe he did. I liked "reap what you sew" better.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:49 |
|
|
SansWetware posted:http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/just-deserts.html 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:50 |
|
|
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:56 |
|
|
NonConformistBurger posted:This one time I corrected some guy in GBS who didn't know the phrase was "just deserts," or maybe he did. I was going for the self-aware angle, but sure, why not. Doesn't boil my blood as much as "for all intensive purposes," though.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 07:58 |
|
|
OP you just all around have a bad grasp on English phrases. Gunna want to have at least 2 subjects in your sentence before you compare them respectively.
Antonymous fucked around with this message at Nov 03, 2009 around 08:04 |
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 08:02 |
|
|
Spivey posted:I was going for the self-aware angle, but sure, why not. Yeah, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but that got in the way of my ability to firstpost. For content: Seeing that friend-of-a-friend who would shoplift and then think he is tough poo poo could not keep his job working as a cashier and is now living somewhere lovely.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 08:07 |
|
|
I was going to point out that Schadenfreude isn't the same as karma, OP. Schadenfreude is just getting pleasure from other people's misfortune, whether they deserve it or not. Karma is getting what you deserve. To contribute, in one of my classes this dude disagreed with me and was a real jerk about it, and then the teacher flat out said he was wrong. He went bright red.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 11:08 |
|
|
Also you reap what you sow, not sew. efb
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 15:15 |
|
|
My housemate, who is the largest douche, has not cleaned one thing, feeds his cats with our cat food, filled up the fridge and all the cabinets with his food so the rest of ours goes in a box, shits in the toilet and never flushes, and throws out our plates if we leave them in the sink for more than five minutes. He just got fired for being an incredible rear end and can no longer afford rent  Boo hoo, guess who is moving back with his parents this week.YESSS SWEET SWEET REVENGE
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 15:35 |
|
|
Pretty much every boss that has dicked me over has ended up suffering horribly afterwards. Crazy hag that owned the bar I worked at that never wanted to pay me? After I left all the other girls quit till the point where she had to order 2 Chinese mail-order brides to staff the place, then she pretty much went bankrupt and lost her store. Bitch who ran the tiny English school in Japan I worked for that refused to help me with my visa at the last minute and then spitefully cut my hours until I went from around $400 a week to $400 a month? Her husband suddenly died of cancer. I tried not to feel good about it.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 15:47 |
|
|
Had a mean old Russian landlady who said she was kidnapped by Nazis, brought to Berlin, and forced to be a maid and possibly a sex slave of some kind during the war. She hated everybody, was always coming around the house she rented to us and complaining about her life. When we moved out, she wrote us a check for the deposit after we cleaned the hell out of the place and she inspected it. Then we drove for four days to a new location, only to find that she had changed her mind and stopped payment on the check, which caused our first check to our NEW landlord to bounce. What a bitch. A few months later, I found out that her grandson had been murdered by his college roommate! Talk about just deserts. 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 16:12 |
|
|
Dusseldorf posted:I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. But something distracted me and I missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me but it just wasn't the same. Oh well. Don't mind me. I'm sure you've got troubles of your own.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 16:53 |
|
|
Marian Hossa left the Pittsburgh Penguins to play for the Detroit Red Wings because he said they had a better chance to win the championship. The next year who won the championship? Yep, the Penguins. Now he plays in Chicago and will probably never win one. I am a Red Wings fan and even I feel a little smug about this.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:01 |
|
|
Childish Elpenor posted:I was going to point out that Schadenfreude isn't the same as karma, OP. Schadenfreude is just getting pleasure from other people's misfortune, whether they deserve it or not. Karma is getting what you deserve. Am I the only one who finds it amusing that you are chastising his understanding of Schadenfreude when your understanding of Karma is incorrect? Don't be offended though, the "western media" depiction of Karma is pretty gross in general. I don't know why we seem to be unable to preserve the subtleness of various East Asian/Indian belief systems. It makes me wonder how things like Christianity end up being understood by them and what sort of hilarious interpretations they might have.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:49 |
|
|
I had a pretty good job for a high schooler-college sophomore, with some kickass managers who actually made a positive influence on my life. The district manager changed and transferred out all the kickass managers and replaced them with yes-men twats. The kickass managers all quit instead of accepting the transfers; and last I heard they had all been promoted to district and store managers for competing chains. I also quit because of the transfers, and 4 months later the entire company went bankrupt and had to close every store outside of Florida and Georgia. I lived in Tennessee.  Alternately, my mom went back to school and finished her degree in accounting. She went to work for a medical firm, and her boss was a pill popping moron whom she suspected of forging expenses and stealing pain pills. Several of the doctors in the company bought out their shares and started their own firm, and they took her contract with them as part of the deal. 3 years after she graduated college she's CFO for a $10m a year medical practice. As CFO she has some involvement in the hiring process to analyze costs and she recently overruled the job application of her former boss- who was fired for drug abuse and lied about it on his resume.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:08 |
|
|
I once saw an obese woman fall down a 'flight' of two stairs at a McDonalds, spilling her food everywhere and proceeding to cry. It made me laugh hysterically. Also, any time I've seen anyone fall on their shins, particularly if it is on stairs.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:47 |
|
|
When I was in grade school, there was this kid who was a year older than me who lived right down the street from school. We pretty much HAD to walk past his house to get home. He would always bully us and generally make our lives difficult. Suddenly he wasn't in school for some reason, and we didn't have to worry about him. Then about a week later, he showed up in school with a crutch, limping about, etc. He had cut off half his foot in the lawnmower. Oh, if I had known the word then, I would have schadenfreuded the poo poo out of that. Now I feel kind of sorry for the kid. He was both stupid and had lovely parents - a bad combo for sure.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:50 |
|
|
Boomerjinks posted:But something distracted me and I missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me but it just wasn't the same. Oh well. Don't mind me. I'm sure you've got troubles of your own. Yeah well I'm sorry I caused all that cancer. I didn't realize it was such a hideous disease. Sorry about that.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:57 |
|
|
I had a really horrible teacher my senior year of high school. When I got mono he wouldn't let me take work home and turn it in, he said "You'll just have to fail". He refused to refer to female friend Jackie as a female. At the end of the year he asked me about what university I was going going to and then asked "how did you get such a big scholarship". He got a hit a by car soon after the year ended. I visited the high school during my break and got to see him in his huge neck/back brace.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 19:19 |
|
|
In the school I went to for 1st through 3rd grade, there was this kid who grew up faster than the rest of us. He would use his size advantage as much as possible by bullying us all mercilessly. We all had to go to a different school for 4th through 6th grade. During those years, all of us grew quite a bit...except him. He stayed the same size he had reached in third grade, which soon became tiny in comparison to the rest of us. None of us had forgotten about the bullying.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 19:23 |
|
|
I get all schadenfreudey any time I see an expensive car along side the road with the hood up or a flat tire.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 19:35 |
|
|
Propagandalf posted:Alternately, my mom went back to school and finished her degree in accounting. She went to work for a medical firm, and her boss was a pill popping moron whom she suspected of forging expenses and stealing pain pills. Several of the doctors in the company bought out their shares and started their own firm, and they took her contract with them as part of the deal. 3 years after she graduated college she's CFO for a $10m a year medical practice. As CFO she has some involvement in the hiring process to analyze costs and she recently overruled the job application of her former boss- who was fired for drug abuse and lied about it on his resume. High five your mom for me, this is totally awesome. Also high five her again for that thing she does with her tongue  genesplicer posted:I get all schadenfreudey any time I see an expensive car along side the road with the hood up or a flat tire. Every loving piece of poo poo SUV I see on the side of the road/in a ditch during the winter makes me absolutely elated. If you drive one of these things you're a piece of poo poo terrible driver, especially in the winter, and speeding, tailgating, and weaving in and out of traffic when visibility is low and the ground is patchy with ice is making it dangerous for the people around you. I've only seen two SUVs cut me off/weave through traffic and wind up in the ditch back when I was doing 300 miles a week, but each time was such a sweet, sweet feeling.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 19:56 |
|
|
When I was eighteen, I wandered down the wrong alley on my way to a local band gig and got the poo poo beaten out of me by ten drunken chav cunts. Two weeks later, the ringleader was found floating face-down in the Thames.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 20:01 |
|
|
When I was probably nine or ten, the neighbor's kid was bitten in the crotch by another neighbor's dog. Because of the injuries he could go to the expensive, non-refundable, football training camp. I just remember feeling content that he deserved it.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:17 |
|
|
As a blackjack/craps dealer I rely on other people winning for 2/3 of my paycheck in the form of tips. However, if you are a crybaby or a dick and you lose on my table - "HAHAHA. You lost all your money, you retard!"
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:32 |
|
|
My commute to work is through a long stretch of 15mph school zone on a fairly busy and wide road. A few months ago I was crawling along through the school zone when a car flew up behind me and started tailgating. I assume he didn't realize it was a school zone and the pack of cars going past a school at 15mph wasn't enough of an indication. After about 30 seconds of tailgating he escalated it to honking and varying his speed. Even though I was doing a few mph over the speed limit, I squeezed into the lane next to me to let him by and get him off my rear end. He flew by at about 40 with his middle finger up.. and about 5 seconds later a motorcycle cop stepped out into the road and ordered him to pull over. Based on how fast he was going the ticket was probably $500+. Looking over at his face and smiling while doing 15mph was just incredible.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:38 |
|
|
KungfooMF posted:Marian Hossa left the Pittsburgh Penguins to play for the Detroit Red Wings because he said they had a better chance to win the championship. ...and what team did the Penguins beat to win the Stanley Cup? That's right.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:38 |
|
|
The one person who was a dick to me in elementary school is now pushing 300lbs and working at Blockbuster.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:45 |
|
|
Ender.uNF posted:Am I the only one who finds it amusing that you are chastising his understanding of Schadenfreude when your understanding of Karma is incorrect? Well I was using it in the bastardized western way. Sorry if I can't use borrowed words that have a certain meaning for one part of civilization, and a different meaning for another, I guess?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:46 |
|
|
Safe Driver posted:The one person who was a dick to me in elementary school is now pushing 300lbs and working at Blockbuster. For some reason I read this as "now pushing 300lbs (of muscle)", and didn't know what to think.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 21:48 |
|
|
I see it almost everyday I work. Its great. Some impatient driver did not want to wait 15 seconds to drive safely through a one lane closure. So i see him turn his tires, Ok cool, Just go ahead and whip a bitch in the road there. BAAM Oh poo poo did you just hit a MPH sign? He did, and he left parts of his headlights at the corner when he left. Best part is I know he was ticketed by the city. The road was big enough for a Uturn too, he just didnt turn tight enough, hoped up the curb, into a sign, and then reversed to get the hell out of there. Who hits and runs a sign in front of everyone?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 22:12 |
|
|
I was changing lanes once upon a time. So I checked my clearances and noticed I had a very safe distance between me and the person who would be behind me when I changed lanes. I put my blinker on and the person behind me floors it, which is annoying, but isn't a problem. The problem is, the person who I would be in front of also floors it, to try to block me. Me, being the good person I am, keep coming, forcing them to go onto the shoulder or hit me, and they can't get back on the road again because they were being followed so closely that the person behind THEM is already a third of a car length behind me. This is all going about 65, when the speed limit is 55. The bonus was when the person that floored it as if to bust through my car like the kool-aid man had the exact thing happen to him, because the person behind him was also about a third of a car length from his bumper and accelerating fast as soon as he went to change lanes.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 22:31 |
|
|
Here's another couple: In Colorado they have the rule that if the bus is flashing red lights, you have to stop and wait for the students to offload and the bus to begin moving again. The stop where I got off was just before the crest of a hill, right before an intersection. One day as the bus pulled to a stop a car went screaming by in an attempt to pass us before the red lights started flashing. And promptly plowed into the back of a car waiting to turn left at the intersection. It turned out that the kid who was driving was an egotistical dick whose dad bought him the car so he would not have to ride with all of us on the bus anymore. This was on a Thursday, and he had just received the car on Monday. His dad was so pissed that he managed to total two cars that junior was forced to ride the bus for the rest of the year. Another bit, and I'm not really sure why I enjoy this one. About 1978 at Fort Carson, Colorado some soldier save a lot of money (some from his pay, some from dealing drugs) and bought a brand new car (A Mercury Cougar XR-7) for about $8500 cash(quite a bit, at the time). Being stupid, he had no insurance. He parked it illegally and a tank rolled over the berm at the side of the road and over the less-than-month-old XR-7, flattening the vehicle. The young, uninsured soldier tried to sue the army to replace his car, but the JAG pointed out that it was parked illegally and as a result he accepted the consequences of parking in a tank-crossing zone. I guess I like it because I was hit by a drunk driver from the base about a month before I heard about this, so it gave me a bit of joy for this weird bit of payback. genesplicer fucked around with this message at Nov 03, 2009 around 22:44 |
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 22:36 |
|
|
I was driving along a two lane road for a stretch of about... I dunno, a mile and a half. I'm in the left lane going the speed limit, when I get tailgaited by someone. This was hands down the closest I've ever been tailgated. There's no one in the right lane but this stinkyhole won't just pass me. I don't want to move over because this is the lane I need to be in. Cue me approaching a light. The right lane is a right turn only and the left lane continues through the light. The lady gets in the right lane and I think to myself, "thank god, she's going to turn right." Turns out she guns it, cuts me off as I'm three or four car lengths from the guy in front of me. I flip her off and imagine that's that. The light turns green and I notice that the car now in front of her is a cop. To my surprise she rides his rear end equally as hard. I stare in disbelief as she rides him for maybe a quarter of a mile. Finally the cop pulls off the road, lets her pass, gets back on the road and pulls her over. It was loving awesome seeing that cop's face.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 22:44 |
|
|
One night about fifteen years ago my wife came home reeking of sex at five in the morning. We'd been married five years. She moved out that evening. Meanwhile, the Internet came along, and the county we lived in eventually decided to digitize all their documents and make them searchable. Like what? Like everything! Police reports, docket entries, everything associated with a case. So naturally, since you always wonder about ex-wives, one day about ten years later something popped up under her social security number. It was a domestic violence case starting with the police report which basically claimed nine years of abuse, went into great detail about the case that got her boyfriend arrested, the police report, the restraining order, the whole thing. She wrote the complaint herself and I recognized her handwriting. Yikes. This was about 5% Schadenfreude and 95% amazement though. So much time had passed that I felt sorry for her more than anything. Way to throw away your marriage...and for what?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 23:04 |
|
Rate Thread:
