|
When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back at you. - Friedrich Nietzsche There are  tags for a reason, but don't tell that to those who have a Jihad against decency and don't mind spending $10 to splatter gaping assholes all over the forums. Inevitably somebody is going to get hit with a piece of fleshy shrapnel. Somebody like you. Whether you're at work, the library, or on a park bench, the moons may align in the wrong way and the instant you click that "Cancer cure found!" thread, you're already too late to stop the flock of school children who are currently walking past you from focusing their eyes on the old men sucking each other off on your monitor. Their innocence is destroyed and you're probably going to go to jail- "But it's something awful, don't you see?  " doesn't hold up in court. Dammit, Internet. Post your stories of the times when the glorious bastards tricked you at the wrong time, whether it was with a Goatse, a picture of their dick when you were expecting keyboard gunk, or anything else that made your eyes want to crawl back into the primordial ooze from whence they came. My story is thanks to OldDominion and his infectious concern for the welfare of my account. He told me not to post. I shouldn't have even looked. I partly blame myself, but mostly God. I was sitting in a library carrel minding my own business, surrounded by attractive females doing the same, when the fateful decision to click that thread entered my sleep deprived mind. I read the first few replies and was hooked. I slowly moved the page down. I had no clue for what I was about to get into. Bam. Goatse. I made a rookie mistake- I dwelt on it. I thought "God dammit, I hate when this happens" when I should have been scrambling for the X as if I heard my mom opening my bedroom door at the tender age of 14.  "Uh.. what is that?"I look to my left. A blond girl is staring at me with 1 part confusion, 1 part disgust and 2 parts fear.  "It's uh.. a website where people gently caress with each other a lot. It's called goatse and it's.. a prank, you know? Have you ever heard of meatspin?"That's right. To prove to her that I wasn't a pervert I was about to explain to her the delicate dance of a man's penis swinging 'round and 'round during intense butt play. "No..."But I caught myself. It's uh... really disgusting, too. All of these people are pretty messed up. But it's late, I should get going, have fun studying."I fled quickly and accidentally left my favorite clicky pencil back in the library. At least my dignity will have some company. EDIT: For clarification, this thread isn't really about how desensitized you are to goatse or pictures of women loving dogs or what-have-you. This is SA. Take that as a given. We are all mentally deranged. It's for the times you were goatsed/meatspun/lemonpartied/etc. when other people were around you and the embarrassment/awkwardness it brought with it. Feel free to share stories of your friends' misfortune as well. Mattimer fucked around with this message at Nov 03, 2009 around 18:51 |
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:17 |
|
|
|
| # ? Nov 22, 2009 01:47 |
|
|
I've seen it so much. Nowadays, I just smile, as if seeing an old friend by chance on the street.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:20 |
|
|
You should have just acted like you were disgusted and told her you got a malicious link in an email or something.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:21 |
|
|
Whenever I get tricked into seeing goatse/lemonparty/tubgirl/meatspin I smile and think to myself "ah, now that's old school!"
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:22 |
|
|
Zero Star posted:You should have just acted like you were disgusted and told her you got a malicious link in an email or something. I froze, man. I forgot the catch-all excuse to use on any computer illiterate person who sees something you don't want them to see: "I have a virus."
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:22 |
|
|
I got goatse'd in a moderator challange thread. I was curious to see what all the fuss was about and I had no clue what a moderator challange was, but the OP had been edited with goatse links in lieu of the original site links, sans-NSFW tags. I was at work, but nobody was around at the time, thank gently caress. To this day, I still can't remember why I clicked the link that quite clearly said "goatse" thinking it would be anything other than goatse.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:28 |
|
|
Easty posted:I've seen it so much. Nowadays, I just smile, as if seeing an old friend by chance on the street. This is so true.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:29 |
|
|
Many moons ago I goatse'd my entire school from my friend's email account and he somehow found out. Got suspended for a day, not sure what that was meant to achieve considering we also had in-school isolation as a punishment but basically the embarrassment of being found out was the worst. Edit: Our IT technician insisted it was a virus and said he'd have to 'restore the entire server'.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:32 |
|
|
My ten year old cousin is obsessed with Rickrolling. "HEY CHECK THIS COOL TEKKEN 6 TRAILER OUT MIRACLE!" "is it a rickroll?" "NO I PROMISE HAHA I GOT YOU IT'S A RICKROLL" repeat ad nauseum and then some. I think he has asperger's, but I wouldn't dare say anything to my aunt "NOT MY PRECIOUS SON YOU KNOW I HELD HIM BACK A GRADE SO HE'D BE A YEAR SMARTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!"  Man if he wasn't so young I'd goatse the gently caress out of him. Wanna play pranks on the internet? This is what happens!
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:39 |
|
|
Got caught out once back in an old chatroom I used to frequent, when I was still new to the internets. How could 'hello.jpg' be a bad thing to send to a newbie?  The second time I got caught was here. A thread titled something along the lines of 'don't look! Goatse in this thread!'. Oh well, I said, I've been here a couple months now, perhaps I've sussed out the ironic sense of Goon humour... 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:39 |
|
|
Sorry to hear goatse cockblocked you, OP, but I think goons shouldn't check GBS on public computers. We can understand Cinema Discusso, the Book Barn or NMD, but when you've got goatse, flaskfucking, pisstubs, CAD abortion jokes and nerdy photoshops (which most people won't get) lingering around, you don't want others looking behind your shoulders. But I'll be damned if goatsing people isn't fun. It's shocking at first, but after a while you begin to like the old goatman, if only at least for the sense of community he provides.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:40 |
|
|
Came hoping for a good ole ban me thread, now I feel kinda sad not to find goatse waiting on the other end of my left click. 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:41 |
|
|
I goatsed an entire auditorium of my classmates expecting me to teach them the finer points of oncology at 2am in the morning the night before an exam. I wish I had a camera to capture the look on their faces when the glory was displayed on the screen behind me. It was the one and only time in my entire life I've been able to laugh like a James Bond supervillan, and I will relish it to the end of days.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:42 |
|
|
Obscurum posted:Came hoping for a good ole ban me thread, now I feel kinda sad not to find goatse waiting on the other end of my left click. No poo poo. The goatman has no shock value anymore and I actually look forward to seeing him in obvious banme threads.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:44 |
|
|
I used to think goatse was the worst, than I saw tubgirl and I thought that was the worst. Then I started finding more and more horrible things and now I'm pretty much immune. I miss goatse
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:45 |
|
|
When I lived on my college campus, the residential committee made the mistake of sending a mass e-mail that included everyone's addresses on the CC line. Cue people replying back and forth "To All" and being annoying. Cue me responding with "Here's a screenshot of how to disable the mass e-mails. Attachment: hello.jpg." The next semester I had to meet with the Director of Student Conduct. He explained that someone had filed a complaint. I sat down in his office. He said, "Let me begin by reading the complaint: 'I received an e-mail that contained a picture of a nude man bent over. His testicles and penis were visible. He was pulling open his anus with his hands.'" As you can imagine, it was all I could do to stifle my laughter at him reading this description in a banal Ben Stein tone. I told him it was a dumb prank, but he decided the best course of action was to suspend me from the campus internet from a semester, which amounted to disconnecting one of the two ethernet ports in our dorm room. I guess he didn't account for someone using a router  .
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:47 |
|
|
I usually just laugh, the shock value is long past gone. Of course I've set goatse and lemonparty as desktop backgrounds for friends who forget to lock their computer screens. I'm a bastard for basic security, and 1024x768 pixels of goatse usually learns 'em.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:48 |
|
|
This whole thread is just a way to entrap people who would try to post goatse in a thread like this, isn't it? "Gee guys, has anyone ever just up and posted goatse in a thread, and you said 'Oh man, this time they've gone too far" ?. This thread is about those times."
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:52 |
|
|
Propagandalf posted:I usually just laugh, the shock value is long past gone. Of course I've set goatse and lemonparty as desktop backgrounds for friends who forget to lock their computer screens. I'm a bastard for basic security, and 1024x768 pixels of goatse usually learns 'em. I attended forum goon philihp's Windows 7 launch party. After installing the OS on his desktop which was connected to the large HDTV for everyone to watch, he went upstairs for a moment. I changed his default start page on IE to http://www.goatse.asia. (Don't click on that, idiot) Everyone gathered around while he opened up a web browser to go to some internet site. Cue hilarity.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:52 |
|
|
Easty posted:I've seen it so much. Nowadays, I just smile, as if seeing an old friend by chance on the street. Hello goatse my old friend I've clicked upon your link again Because there is no quick escaping From your sticky pinkness gaping The vision SA planted in my brain Still remains Within the jpeg of goatse In many threads I browsed them by Til one banner caught my eye Titled "I haven't posted goatse here!" Though the contents made themselves quite clear So I clicked, and was greeted by a surprise And I'll surmise It was the gape of goatse Though it is known throughout the land To result in a speedy ban Many a goon decides to take the leap In hopes that another may take a peek Which results in their termination from work What a jerk! To not NWS his goatse!
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:52 |
|
|
I was around for the very first ever goatse'ing of these forums. I can't remember exactly what the context was though... I believe it was something about Lindsey Lohan or something.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:52 |
|
|
Tewratomeh posted:This whole thread is just a way to entrap people who would try to post goatse in a thread like this, isn't it? "Gee guys, has anyone ever just up and posted goatse in a thread, and you said 'Oh man, this time they've gone too far!". This thread is about those times." Well, it's actually about the times when you got goatsed around other people, like a boss or mom or something, thus causing you to shrivel up into a ball of "I don't know wtf" under questioning gazes.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:53 |
|
|
Mattimer posted:Have you ever heard of meatspin?" I'm pretty sure, judging by the bikini tan-line, that meatspin.com features a transsexual getting railed in the rear end by a dude. I could be wrong though...
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:54 |
|
|
vipers-venom posted:I'm pretty sure, judging by the bikini tan-line, that meatspin.com features a transsexual getting railed in the rear end by a dude. I could be wrong though... That means you are gay. Sorry I had to be the one to tell you.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:56 |
|
|
vipers-venom posted:I'm pretty sure, judging by the bikini tan-line, that meatspin.com features a transsexual getting railed in the rear end by a dude. I could be wrong though... You know I've seen meatspin dozens of times but I never thought about approaching it from that angle. And I just admitted to watching meatspin dozens of times.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:58 |
|
|
Crows Turn Off posted:I think you've been looking at meatspin a little too closely. Not to rain on your parade mister, but if you paid attention to meatspin you'll find the animation itself informs the viewer of their orientation.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 17:59 |
|
|
This story could have ended in disaster, but thankfully didn't: Back years ago I was working IT at a company, and we'd always try to find different ways of screwing with each other. The story really starts when a bunch of us were talking and Goatse came up. One of the new guys stated he had never heard of Goatse before, so I told him to check it out, and of course since it was his first introduction he was grossed out. Myself and another tech working there decided to make the new guy the target of the next prank, he was not tech savvy (he only did very basic L1 phone) so he was an easy target. We started by installing PCAnywhere on his machine, and throughout the days me and the other tech would take turns randomly taking control of the machine (it should be noted that we all worked in the same room, so it was very hard to not laugh when he started freaking out). We started with doing little things here and there (launching or closing random programs, etc). Nothing crazy, but he was getting nervous. We'd "take a look" and say we didn't see anything wrong. One day I decided it was time to take this to the next level. While I was sitting at another desk, working on their computer, I was running a variety of scans and had to keep an eye on things. I figured since I was not in the room with the guy, now I had a chance to really screw with him. I remoted into my computer, and then launched PCAnywhere. I started closing everything down, and then launched IE. I then slowly started typing the URL for Goatse, and then pressed enter, and of course Goatse popped up on his screen. I then ended the session, and left to come back to my desk. Ends up that while this was going on the CIO of the company happened to be in the room, and the computer screen was right in sight of where anybody in the room could see it. Thankfully the CIO didn't see it, and the guy was quick enough to close the browser as soon as I released control back to him. We told him he had the "Goatse Virus".
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:05 |
|
|
poptart_fairy posted:Not to rain on your parade mister, but if you paid attention to meatspin you'll find the animation itself informs the viewer of their orientation. Again, sorry I had to break the news to you. On topic, thankfully, I've never been goatse'd with people around. I have done it to my friend, though. He was watching Failblog videos with his dad and he wanted me to send him a funny video. So, I used a YouTube URL that linked to goatse. He didn't check the actual path of the URL before he clicked it. He said it scared his dad and he had to have a conversation about it, which made me laugh pretty hard.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:06 |
|
|
No, but I hosed goatse, how do you think it got that wide in the first place?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:06 |
|
|
I had Goatse wallpaper at the office for a while.  Although I'd seen the name mentioned before, I'd never actually bothered to check out meatspin until this very thread. I got to around 60 spins before I was able to get my laughter under control enough to close the tab. So technically OP, you just meatspinned me.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:07 |
|
|
First night with the new girlfriend and we're about to watch a movie. My tv is like three feet above my computer monitor on a mounted bookshelf. The movie starts up and gets to the menu screen and i decide one last time to check my facebook and, why the gently caress not, GBS. She's innocently peering over my shoulder as i tab from FB to GBS. Low and behold, a new thread! *click... then from behind me* "What... the gently caress is that?"Now, i've stared into this guys rear end in a top hat many times and am now unfazed by it. So i said, "Oh it's this guy that can pull open his rear end in a top hat to fit like a tennis ball in it or something" "... The gently caress is wrong with you?" "What? Oh no... it's... it's funny. You know, like rickrolling? Only with a picture of this guys rear end in a top hat."Then, i poo poo you not, i proceeded to show her the picture as if to justify why is was hurf-hurf funny. The next hour and a half was spent awkwardly watching some forgettable chick flick.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:09 |
|
|
I've been goatse'd so much in my Internet career that I'm embarrassed every time I get tricked into the link. Still haven't learned my lesson.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:12 |
|
|
First time I saw Goatse I was awe struck by how crude it was. Then I couldn't stop looking at it. Something like a horrific accident, you just can't look away. My friend was right next to me in high school PC Lab. He was the evil genius behind the prank. He'd later get me with lemonparty, tubgirl and meatspin... I don't know why, but I believed he found something cool on the net, only to see that stuff. Right now, I'm not fazed by it. A few months ago, someone goatse me, I just went to get a slice of pizza and came back to that. Nothing.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:14 |
|
|
At the Queens Center Mall they have touch screen computers at like s sit down area. I left goatse. On all five of the computers. I can only imagine the carnage I wrought.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:16 |
|
|
Goatse doesn't freak me out anymore, sadly. It's fun in department stores to change the background of the display phones to goatse or similar. I just looked up Meatspin. I actually noticed the guy was wearing a condom, before I noticed the tan line. That's some social responsible porn right there. I am impressed.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:19 |
|
|
The point of the thread isn't to say how you personally feel toward goatse. I think all of us are used to it by now. It's how you or someone you know got caught in an embarrassing situation because of goatse.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:21 |
|
|
I browse BYOB in class. v v Also, once I printed out the Goatman and put him in the middle of a stack of papers for a rasturbation that I mailed to a friend. Snail mail goatse.  And then he accidentally ended up goatseing his innocent roommate as they were putting together the rasturbation. 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:23 |
|
|
I think the first time for me was on IRC, clicking some link and then having so many browser windows pop up full of goatse that eventually my PC ran out of memory and I started getting Windows 3.1 style error messages. Did I mention that it happened at work?
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:27 |
|
|
I got nailed good by a worksucks while at work. 
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:34 |
|
|
Shocked that there is no goatse in a thread about goatse. Posting in Byob while at work is Russian Roulette these days. ZOMG CUTE PUPPY MEGATHREAD!!! Goatse.jpg spam.
|
| # ? Nov 03, 2009 18:42 |
|
Rate Thread:
