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My girlfriend recently discovered my pistol. I hadn't given gun "safety" much thought since I grew up around them and have an ingrained healthy respect for making sure the gun is unloaded every time it's touched. I keep a magazine in the gun at all times (no round in the chamber) and I notified my girlfriend that a gun existed in the house and left it at that. She found it and freaked out and I'm not sure what to do. She asked that I keep the magazine out of the gun at the very least and I complied. I don't really see how that helps but trying to explain how the gun works to her feels pointless. I'd like a suggestion on how I can make her feel more comfortable with the gun around that doesn't come from some gun "nut" who made a website on the internets. Pretty much every site I find that I can direct her to involves some guy talking about shootin' the criminals and every site I find directed at women is talking about how you "never mess with mama bear" or some poo poo. I haven't found any "level headed" gun owner with an article that explains why I (personally) have it. tl;dr: How do I make my girlfriend feel safe around my gun with the magazine inside of it? Or: how do I make myself feel like my gun is not a worthless hunk of metal without the magazine inside of it?
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 16:53 |
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| # ? Nov 22, 2009 00:27 |
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Take her shooting, show her how it works, don't talk about killing people.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 16:56 |
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AntiTank posted:Take her shooting, show her how it works, don't talk about killing people. Pretty much this.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 16:56 |
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AntiTank posted:Take her shooting, show her how it works, don't talk about killing people. yep
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:03 |
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Give her a good old fashioned pistol-whipping. But really, tell her that as long as there is no round in the chamber, it's pretty damned safe. If she refuses to believe you, tell her to gently caress off. Better yet, have her post about her fears here so that we might correct her properly.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:21 |
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I'll come over and give her some Irish sunglasses. But on the serious note, just take her shooting and explain everything to her. Most people are retarded and assume a gun will just go off for no loving reason. Luckily I've never had to deal with a girl like that.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:37 |
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You have two options. You can bypass the problem or confront it head on. You address the 'worthless hunk of metal' feeling and remember the military and police mantra- train train train. Then train some more. When you are done training, go back to square one and train again. If you realistically expect to use it for home defense and balance that unlikely need versus her very likely feelings, get fast and accurate at readying your weapon. You will have confidence that you can use it the way you want to when you need to with minimal delay, and she doesn't have to feel intimidated. What are your priorities? Keeping her happy and being slower than you'd like, or being prepared and having her feel uncomfortable? Cue the HD nerds: NO COMPROMISE NO EXCUSES TWO SECONDS TO INSERT A MAG AND RACK THE SLIDE IS TWO SECONDS TO LONG I PUMP MY 870 WITH MY LEFT HAND AND MY COCK WITH MY RIGHT BLAARRGH  Much like the 870, don't let her see you practice or it will defeat the purpose. Option 2: Head on approach- teach her to shoot it.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:42 |
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Frag Viper posted:Most people are retarded and assume a gun will just go off for no loving reason. Luckily I've never had to deal with a girl like that. My mom is like this. When I was refinishing my hi-power it was completely stripped down and sandblasted. It was literally 2 hunks of steel and she still didn't want me to touch it while she was around.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:48 |
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Start calling her mama bear, especially during sex, to desensitize her to the verbiage on those websites.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:48 |
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She's freaked out because she doesn't understand how a gun works, or has never really seen one in person. As everyone has said, the easiest way for her to get over her fears are to actually shoot the gun. Whats even more important than this though, is show her that you yourself are very responsible with the gun, and know what your talking about so she gains confidence in you safely owning a gun.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:49 |
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My stephmom was scared of my spotting scope because she thought it was a gun when she first saw it. Just echoing the that you should take her to the range and let her shoot some .22lr, don't give her a 9mm glock as a first pistol.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 17:56 |
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My girlfriend doesn't care for guns. Originally she was terrified, but I've eased her fears. Basically, she doesn't touch the gun and I don't ask her to. She's recognizing the need for self-defense more and more as she pays attention to the news. When we hear about someone getting shot, mugged, whatever, I let her know, 'that's why I own a gun.' What's really helped put her at ease is my willingness to seek out training. Every gun owners she's known before me has just went and bought a gun and has never trained on it. People tend to trust others more when they are trained on a subject. Think of it like medical aid: who would you rather have stabilize a wound? Someone with 40 hours of first responder training, or some guy who went and bought a first aid kit at Wal-Mart and sometimes practices putting a band-aid on at home?
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:01 |
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Propagandalf posted:You have two options. Propagandalf posted:train train train. Propagandalf posted:What are your priorities? Propagandalf posted:NO COMPROMISE NO EXCUSES TWO SECONDS TO INSERT A MAG AND RACK THE SLIDE IS TWO SECONDS TO LONG I PUMP MY 870 WITH MY LEFT HAND AND MY COCK WITH MY RIGHT BLAARRGH Propagandalf posted:teach her to shoot it. She actually brought up this article: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=2171479 when I told her I was trained on firearms safety and only retards shoot themselves by handling weapons without care. I suppose in retrospect it probably wasn't the wisest choice of words to call that guy that got shot a retard (even though he clearly was given the information in that article). She tried to say that police officers are better trained and they still have accidents, etc. I tried to tell her that it wasn't an accident. The police shot a guy who was shooting wildly in the air. How is that an accident? I just bring that up to let you know the mindset I'm dealing with here.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:13 |
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The magic beans are experience. People fear what they don't know. Your girlfriend doesn't know anything about guns. Don't make me piece this together any further.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:16 |
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So, you keep a loaded magazine in the gun, but you aren't using it for self defense? Why keep your mag loaded at all? Why not throw it in a safe, if you don't plan on using it?
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:18 |
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The Automator posted:So, you keep a loaded magazine in the gun, but you aren't using it for self defense? Why keep your mag loaded at all? Why not throw it in a safe, if you don't plan on using it?
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:21 |
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walrusman posted:The magic beans are experience.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:22 |
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mcupples posted:Not sure where you got that I don't own it for self defense. That's the sole purpose of owning it. Can you tell me what stupid words I said that led you to that conclusion? mcupples posted:I'm not quite that into it, I just bought it when the high cap ban was lifted in fear that it would be put in place again. I waited to buy one before and regretted it. I suppose I can train myself to slap the mag in faster so I feel like it isn't so useless. This tells me you're not very serious about it. Shooting people is harder than it sounds. Train!
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:23 |
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The Automator posted:This tells me you're not very serious about it. Shooting people is harder than it sounds. Train! I'm incredibly serious about safety, though. I should likely train more than I do now, I'll go look up some threads about where to get some good, cheap 9mm ball ammo.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:27 |
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mcupples posted:Ah, yes, I'm not very serious about it. I go to the range maybe once every six months to keep in practice but I don't handle the thing every day. I probably wouldn't own one if I weren't afraid of some new legislation that makes owning one illegal. Don't take that to mean that I don't own it for personal defense as well. There are good trainers that travel the country all the time. Pay attention to local boards. Get a case of ammo and take a class or two. It will make a large difference in your gun handling and marksmanship.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:28 |
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VVVVV http://www.corneredcat.com/Safety/foundgun.aspx http://www.corneredcat.com/Safety/fourrules.aspx ^^^^^ mcupples posted:She tried to say that police officers are better trained and they still have accidents, etc. Many police officers average about a half hour of training every six months. It hardly even qualifies to be described as 'training'. The average cop in NYC misses at least 75% of the shots he fires his sidearm due to this lack of training. Police are usually some of the least-trained and skilled people who own/carry a firearm on a regular basis, and the last people anyone should consider an authority on firearm use and handling. They have accidents because they treat firearms training as a chore to be dealt with when the job requires and ignored at all other times, instead of treating it as something they enjoy and want to put time and effort into, so most hobbyists are vastly better shots and far safer and more knowledgeable about guns in general.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:30 |
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From the Cavalry Arms Ministry of Propaganda: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvkDVbayWtk
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:33 |
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HotCanadianChick posted:VVVVV
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:34 |
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The Automator posted:This tells me you're not very serious about it. Shooting people is harder than it sounds. Train! Seconding. Training is essential. My roommates and friends probably have many, many stories of walking out of their rooms to find me clearing the house in the middle of the night (not loaded I swear!). And shooting people is easy. Shooting the people you want and avoiding those you don't want to kill, that's difficult.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 18:40 |
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mcupples posted:This is, in fact, the "mama bear, cubs" bullshit website I was referring to. And it's even pink to boot! :p Read the intro, I know she won't follow a link and not click around and if she sees that she'll go all weh weh Sarah Palin on me. I might do well to steal that base content and put it on a different website so thank you. The content there is all submitted by different people. Not all of them are, as you so quaintly put it, "mama bear, cubs" bullshit. And some of them go "weh weh having my gun kept me from being raped". As a woman, your girlfriend has far more reason to own a gun than you do.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 19:05 |
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foghorn posted:Seconding. Training is essential. My roommates and friends probably have many, many stories of walking out of their rooms to find me clearing the house in the middle of the night (not loaded I swear!). You are really advocating running around your house with a gun in the middle of the night without your roommates knowing?
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:19 |
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JEEVES420 posted:You are really advocating running around your house with a gun in the middle of the night without your roommates knowing? Uh, yeah, when I advocate training, I mean working with a professional instructor at a range, not practicing clearing your house, which I don't really recommend, anyway.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:22 |
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foghorn posted:Seconding. Training is essential. My roommates and friends probably have many, many stories of walking out of their rooms to find me clearing the house in the middle of the night (not loaded I swear!).
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:48 |
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Train. Find a course, ask the instructor if your girlfriend can watch and maybe take pictures (so she doesn't get bored, and so you can all have a nice souvenir of the course!) (ps: let's avoid the easy joke) Watching you get serious instruction will increase her confidence in you. She'll even learn something herself from watching, and quite possibly, an instructor will offer her an easy, controlled, safe and fun initiation shot. It gave me excellent results. Here's MY GIRLFRIEND's first time with a shotgun, at a class I was attending. Dropping metal targets is fun regardless of gender: 
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:29 |
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- J - posted:Train. Find a course, ask the instructor if your girlfriend can watch and maybe take pictures (so she doesn't get bored, and so you can all have a nice souvenir of the course!) (ps: let's avoid the easy joke) Do exactly what this guy says right here. EXACTLY.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:34 |
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The Automator posted:Do exactly what this guy says right here. EXACTLY. Right down to it being an outdoor range. The open, natural space is a lot more inviting to new shooters than a claustrophobic and badly-lit cinderblock bunker with silhouette targets whizzing back and forth.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:44 |
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Captain von Trapp posted:Right down to it being an outdoor range. The open, natural space is a lot more inviting to new shooters than a claustrophobic and badly-lit cinderblock bunker with silhouette targets whizzing back and forth. I agree. I loving hate indoor ranges.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:47 |
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The Automator posted:Do exactly what this guy says right here. EXACTLY. How would taking someone else's girlfriend to a shooting range help? It would be better if he took his own girlfriend, I think.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:49 |
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Spermy Smurf posted:How would taking someone else's girlfriend to a shooting range help? I dunno man, his girlfriend sounds kinda square. Maybe he should shop around and test fire a few.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:53 |
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Spermy Smurf posted:How would taking someone else's girlfriend to a shooting range help? I don't know, -J-'s girlfriend looks like a good time to me.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:54 |
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A lot of pro-instructors I know will not train their own wives, girlfriends, or daughters. The emotional connection can make them think you're being an rear end in a top hat when all you're doing is your normal instructor routine. So they have someone else train them. I've seen this first hand, and experienced it. Someone can tell them the exact same thing as you did, and they'll accept it where they will not accept it coming from you the same way. The flip side is you might go too easy on them as an instructor, and they won't get the full benefit of the training.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:21 |
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foghorn posted:Seconding. Training is essential. My roommates and friends probably have many, many stories of walking out of their rooms to find me clearing the house in the middle of the night. I know nothing makes me feel better about my safety than having my room mate point his gun at me in the dark. foghorn posted:not loaded I swear! foghorn posted:And shooting people is easy. Shooting the people you want and avoiding those you don't want to kill, that's difficult. Annnnd getting a little creepy.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:23 |
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I've taught every girlfriend I've had since high school how to shoot. None of them have been bad students, and all were able to safely handle firearms and improve their shooting as time went by.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:45 |
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SinistralRifleman posted:A lot of pro-instructors I know will not train their own wives, girlfriends, or daughters. The emotional connection can make them think you're being an rear end in a top hat when all you're doing is your normal instructor routine. So they have someone else train them. This is 100% loving true. I split up with a perfectly good GIRLFRIEND (coworker, yeah yeah gently caress off, I learned my lesson) because we kept getting in situations where I would have to teach her things. She could listen to the people that I had taught, even using my training materials and techniques, even when they openly acknowledged I had trained them, but had a hard time accepting the exact same information straight from me. People who are close to you feel more vulnerable when they know you have seen them gently caress up something that you want them to be good at, much more so as compared to strangers or people they know only on a surface level. Remember playing ball as a kid and blowing a play or missing a catch? Who were you more scared of disappointing- the crowd or your parents? Some people are more sensitive to that embarrassment than others. Some just laugh it off, but it paralyzes some people. No matter how much you really do want to help, that vulnerability will be the filter for everything you do. I held this woman's hair back when she had food poisoning so she could throw up into a toilet bowl (which didn't bother her, or me), but she was very defensive about me being around when she made even the most minor of mistakes at work. Which is why I only date crazy bitches now. They don't give a gently caress.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:52 |
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JEEVES420 posted:You are really advocating running around your house with a gun in the middle of the night without your roommates knowing? Jesus! Just kidding! Sheesh... You try being funny on this forum and everyone jumps down your throat...
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:55 |
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