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I was thinking the other day about "Yo Mama" jokes. They are seriously outdated and there haven't been any new ones in the past decade. We all know how they're going to end and they lack humor in today's comedy. Basically, Yo Mama jokes are dead. I had a flash of inspiration shortly after. Today's Yo Mama jokes need a dose of reality. Something that hits home. Jokes that people take offense to because they're true. I thought of a few today. Yo momma so dumb, she doesn't change her oil till there's engine damage and your Dad is furious. Yo momma so dumb, she came home from the auto repair shop with a charge for head-light fluid. Yo momma so dumb, she used a dry towel to clean up a wet stain on the carpet. You are so dumb, your mom drank when she was pregnant with you. Your mom is so old, she used two cups of salt in the chocolate chip cookies instead of sugar. Your mom is so dumb, she watches Dr. Phil religiously. Your mom is so fat, she was on Lipitor in her 30s. Your parents are so dumb, they take everything on the History Channel for face value. I'll think of some more later.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:50 |
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| # ? Nov 22, 2009 00:27 |
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Yo momma is so fat she is larger than most people
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:55 |
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Yo momma so dumb, she drank when she was pregnant with you.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:55 |
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I while back, there was sightings of a bear in our white middle class neighborhood, so everyone was scared. I decided that the best way to get rid of the bear would be to buy a house next door to the bear's, and then not care for my property and eventually run his property value down. Eventually the bear would move out in frustration. Then we began to think up "yo momma" jokes from the perspective of bears. Yo momma is so bad at fishing, she has to go to Shop-rite.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:56 |
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Yo momma so dumb she thinks you're actually doing your homework right now.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 20:56 |
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Your mother was so fat she was pre-diabetic when the colon cancer killed her. Your family is so poor that the service was only cheaper than the casket, which has since given way. Your mother is so fat that she's turned into about 250 pounds of soap in the alkaline soil.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:00 |
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yo momma so misguided she pans between tracks in Ableton and calls it "DJing"
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:07 |
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Goomba posted:Yo momma so dumb she thinks you're actually doing your homework right now. Your momma so dumb, she refused to acknowledge your Child Hood Bi-Polar Disorder and you never received the Lithium you so desperately needed.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:08 |
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Your mother is so stupid she never graduated from high school and had to work minimum wage jobs her entire life just to keep food on the table. These new Yo Mama jokes are depressing as gently caress.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:10 |
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Your mother is quite the hussy, she is rained upon daily by the unmentionable result of stimulating multiple manhoods to climax.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:12 |
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Yo momma so dumb, she put the wrong name on your birthday card. Your parents are so old, they are computer illiterate and require you to do the simplest task on their computer you bought them for Christmas last year. Your momma so dumb, when you told her last year that her chain smoking wasn't good for her she laughed at you because you were only 6 and she died last month from lung cancer. Mooch and Earl fucked around with this message at Nov 04, 2009 around 21:18 |
| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:13 |
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Mooch and Earl posted:Your momma so dumb, she refused to acknowledge your Child Hood Bi-Polar Disorder and you never received the Lithium you so desperately needed. Yo momma so dumb she raised a child who projects their personal troubles onto others 
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:23 |
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Grimby posted:These new Yo Mama jokes are depressing as gently caress. No kidding, I feel bad for all your mothers 
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:25 |
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Yo Momma so fat she needs one of those little cart things to get from dairy to baked goods.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:28 |
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Yo mama so mean, she played with your broken arm for three days till she could afford insurance!
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:30 |
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Yo mamma is so desperate for a man she'll invite any alcoholic, abusive bastard with a decent job into your home for a few months. You will never have a father.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:30 |
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Goomba posted:Yo momma so dumb she raised a child who projects their personal troubles onto others Your momma so dumb, she let your brother go skating without a helmet and now he has irreparable brain damage.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:31 |
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cthulusnewzulubbq posted:Yo mamma is so desperate for a man she'll invite any alcoholic, abusive bastard with a decent job into your home for a few months. Your dad is so dumb, he improperly tried to make homemade mash and now he is blind for life.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:34 |
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Yo Momma is so dumb sometimes I wanna  because I can't believe the things that are spoken from her mouth.Yo Momma is so dumb she thinks Tyler Perry is some kind of cinematic genius.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 21:52 |
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Your momma so fat they had to amputate her right leg below the knee due to an infection caused by a combination of poor blood flow and nerve damage from her diabetes.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:09 |
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Your momma is so dumb she uses apostrophes incorrectly.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:21 |
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Yo mama so dumb she actually thought I was a real gynecologist.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:25 |
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Your mom is so dumb, she parks more than 13 inches away from the curb in residential areas and her SUV sticks out.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:27 |
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Yo mama so ugly that she passed her ugly bitch genes on to you and now you are the one that is ugly.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:30 |
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Your momma is so dumb that she posted a glittery Bratz birthday image on my facebook.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:30 |
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Guys, I think we should stop. There is some savage business being said about mothers in this thread.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:30 |
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http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809883
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:31 |
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Yo mama so dumb she thinks your friend Jimmy is a sweet boy but she would not believe some of the things he says about her.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:33 |
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Your mother is elegant and beautiful
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:34 |
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cthulusnewzulubbq posted:Yo mamma is so desperate for a man she'll invite any alcoholic, abusive bastard with a decent job into your home for a few months. You will *so* never have a father that any prospective dad who bangs your mom realizes your mom is so crazy that she is not worth his time and effort.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:44 |
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Yo momma so dumb she canceled the insurance a week before the tv went into flames.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 22:59 |
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Your momma is so gay she can't legally marry her partner.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:00 |
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Your momma is so dumb she failed all her exams.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:04 |
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Fimbulvinter posted:Your momma is so gay she can't legally marry her partner. Your mom is a martyr to the family and constantly reminds everyone that she does all the work and is under appreciated. Your mom is so dumb, she did no extra curricular activities in school and had a boring, uneventful child hood.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:07 |
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Yo mama is so old that you have Down syndrome.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:16 |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpJuDvxSgWU
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:17 |
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Your momma is so dumb, she supports the death penalty for children tried as adults and the mentally retarded.
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:38 |
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How perfectly god damned delightful.
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Your mother is so ugly it lowers her self-esteem
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:52 |
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Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?) Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?) She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that: Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X) Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X) Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium way back in September Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls In some bright red boxer drawers You said ya moms was pretty and young But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X) Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?) We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way Cause that would blow me round the world in a day We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X) Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama Ya mama got snake skin teeth Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like.... hehehe Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and poo poo Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, nigga Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back (You're a sellout) ya mama's a sellout nigga ya mama Nigga ya mama did a pop tune nigga Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map and see people wavin at her Your mother got an Ouija board on her back Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section Tre's mama got Playdough teeth Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and poo poo Ya mama's an extra on the Simpsons and poo poo Ya mama's so fat you can't even see her legs it just looks like she's just gliding across the floor...
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| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:53 |
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Earwicker
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Yo mamma so dumb she doesn't realize that unpaid parking tickets do not go away if you ignore them long enough. Yo mamma was so nervous when she went to take a drug test she got caught substituting synthetic urine for her own. edit: left out word Stares At Floor fucked around with this message at Nov 05, 2009 around 02:43 |
| # ? Nov 04, 2009 23:58 |
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