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Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


Hey everyone. My boyfriend has been looking into being a police officer where we live and the searches have turned up some bad news. The polygraph test here asks about drug use and I'm pretty sure to be a police officer here you have to be clean from any illegal drugs for 3 years or more. I know others aren't all like that
(maybe a year or something) but moving is out of the question at least for now.

Other things he as looked in to as an alternative don't sound good to me at all. When he gets a career we plan on getting a house and starting a family. I don't feel like that will work well if he joins the navy and is deployed somewhere for long stretches of time. I especially don't want him anywhere dangerous.

I know the Navy can pay for housing and school so you have a better chance of getting a job when you are done. Are there positions you can choose that can guarantee that you can stay with your family, even if it's required that the family relocate?

I just want to know that I'm not stopping him from doing something that might actually be good for our future.

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Xenixx
Nov 30, 2007

by T. Mascis


Army band, traveling positions like it. Think like that, otherwise, TRADOC and TAC OPS desk jobs typically don't ever see deployments not to mention combat.

And deployments with the Navy... are you sure you understand how the Navy works? Do you feel like the Navy is going to or has had any major sea incidents besides pirates in the last 20 years? Deployments aren't really a problem, regular duty is aboard a ship.

Military life can make(strengthen) or break the relationship in my view, so...

and im confused, you ask in your title about deployments but your op wants us to 'make sure you aren't stopping him from doing something thats good for him/you.'

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


Sorry if I was unclear. I have some friends who were just sent to places on the coast, or even Japan, then came back and are out and done with it. I also have friends who are in the middle of the war and have seen combat.

I wouldn't want to stop my boyfriend if there are good jobs in the military that will never see any "action" or whatever you want to call it.

But if anything he does has a chance of having him away for long periods of time or in dangerous places I don't want to consider it an option for our future.

Xenixx
Nov 30, 2007

by T. Mascis


With the nation at war it is very unlikely to plan a schedule around having an incredibly stable military career, although not impossible, as you have said it is possible but I don't know any marines/airforce/army guys that had any success of never doing anything (kind of how I sum up what you're after). That's pretty friggin' hard to manage, you'd have to try to dodge assignments or whatever. Basically it takes manipulation, god knows how people will change in any given situation they've never faced after indoctrination so he may not want to 'dodge.'

As far as dangerous places there are a few jobs, mostly clerical that I know of. So think clerical, I would provide speficic examples but it sounds like you two are leaning towards Navy where my expertise runs out. But the Navy really isn't all that dangerous onboard a ship.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


What was so appealing about the police officer route for him was (aside from him thinking it was just a sweet job) the fact that they pay to train you and you're left with a stable well paying position.

We were kind of assuming that a military job would be similar but maybe it's not the right way to go if we want something stable that won't have us separated for huge stretches of time.

Tojai
Aug 31, 2008

No, You're Wrong

No matter how much he "manipulates" the system, he's probably not going to get out of a deployment if it comes to that. I remember seeing a commercial for some kind of Navy show choir type group that had a permanent duty station in DC but I'm going to guess that's not the kind of thing your boyfriend wants/is able to do.

There's no guarantee that he won't deploy or get stationed somewhere "dangerous," so if that's out of the question for you guys then he shouldn't join the Navy. There are overseas posts where servicemembers are allowed to bring family over, for example I'm living with my husband in Korea right now. However, if you want to do this then you'll have to marry him. Basically the military does not recognize girlfriends/fiancees/significant others, either the person is single or married.

It's possible that joining the military could be good for your futures but you guys need to talk about what your goals are and what limits you're ok with. If he's serious about it go talk to the guys in the "Ask me about joining the military" thread, they were very helpful to me when I had some questions for them.

Sheep-Goats
Jul 28, 2003



What about Coast Guard? If he's got the whole KILL BADGUYS SAFE FROM CRIMINALS complex then that might not fufill his dream job checklist, but it's sorta military and there are jobs that will have him home regularly. Border patrol agents probably have similar illegal drugs hurdles to clear, but that also may be worth checking in to.

Also in many locations there's basically a one or two year waitlist before you can apply to be a cop anyway. Lotta wannabe Barney Fifes out there.

If you could find out why he thinks being a cop is such an awesome job maybe we could better suggest some alternatives.

Sheep-Goats fucked around with this message at Mar 6, 2010 around 04:49

xan!
Aug 17, 2004

by elpintogrande


You have no idea how the military works. In the military, there is "single" and "married" with no in-between. You could have a girlfriend of 10 years and still be forced to maintain a room in the barracks. If you wanted to move to where he's stationed, either he'd have to pay out of pocket or you'd have to get married to have the government pay for it (military marriage is a whole other can of worms).

If he wants to be an MP, he's going to be deployed, length of time depending on the service. And then there's recruit training and MOS school, which probably won't be long enough to rate housing but still long enough for you to probably hate it. If he were to join the Marines, you probably wouldn't see him for the first 6 months or so aside from the 10 days of leave he'll get after boot camp.

Deployments are a fact of military life. If you don't want him to be deployed, there are plenty of civilian jobs that are the equivalent of non-deployable military jobs where you won't have to put up with as much bullshit.

buttplug
Aug 28, 2004


So let's get this straight. You want him to join a branch of the military to reap all of the benefits, while avoiding all of the strife and sacrifices that utterly define the military as a whole?

Good luck with that!

1830
May 2, 2009


Sheep-Goats posted:

What about Coast Guard? If he's got the whole KILL BADGUYS SAFE FROM CRIMINALS complex then that might not fufill his dream job checklist, but it's sorta military and there are jobs that will have him home regularly. Border patrol agents probably have similar illegal drugs hurdles to clear, but that also may be worth checking in to.

Also in many locations there's basically a one or two year waitlist before you can apply to be a cop anyway. Lotta wannabe Barney Fifes out there.

If you could find out why he thinks being a cop is such an awesome job maybe we could better suggest some alternatives.

Go Coast Guard, get deployed to run and enforce sanctions and security off the waters of Iraq, Iran and all sorts of neat places. Plus they are more picky and narrower variety of jobs. Not to mention they deal more with terrorists near home, like the cartels which try to smuggle drugs in daily.

Regardless which branch he chooses, he will move. He will deploy some where in the world.

There are many cities in the South West (Like Vegas, NV or Albuquerque New Mexico) looking to hire people big time. Not to mention the Border Patrol is in serious need of people.

What kind of education does your boyfriend have?

1830 fucked around with this message at Mar 6, 2010 around 10:14

thenotoriouspie
Feb 28, 2010
SUPREME
GOON HERO
-2011-

(hell yes)


I actually asked someone high up in the traveling military band about the chances of being deployed with different kinds of jobs, and he told me "No matter what you do, you are still a soldier."

In my eyes he was completely right. No matter what your boyfriend chooses there will always be a chance.

Sylink
Apr 17, 2004


Don't join the military if you don't want to be separated from loved ones by forces beyond your control and under contractual obligation!

Triyah
Apr 18, 2005



There are a few jobs in the USAF that don't really see deployments.

Mostly jobs that deal with Space, Nuclear Missiles, and Missile Maintenance. Some examples of those "AFSC's" are 2W2X1, 1C6X1 and 2M0X1.

Look into them if you are looking for military jobs that do not see regular deployments.

The only thing with those jobs, is that the hours aren't the greatest. Routinely work 12 hour shifts, and everything else that comes with just being in the military.

Hellwuzzat
Nov 28, 2008


"Hi, guys. I want my boyfriend to get a job with PEW PEW GUNS and a 0% chance of dying. 0.3% cannot be tolerated!"
(statistic pulled out of my rear end)

I would suggest trade school, but probably as many people die/are disabled by jobsite injuries. Just lock him in the basement, feed him once every three days, and use him for breeding purposes, as needed.

Agent4096
Dec 1, 2004

by Fistgrrl


Is he any good at flight simulators?

Because the USAF is using a lot of Raptors and they need pilots. You just sit in a chair with some coffee and donuts and watch the screen, once it's deployed you get to buzz camels and bombs schools without ever leaving the country.

If you really want a military career with all the perks and none of the hassle, Raptor Pilot is where it's at.

EDIT: Oops, one little pesky detail...make sure he writes Raptor drone in the application. The USAF can be annoying sometimes, and he might end up flying F22 sorties instead, you don't want that. Make sure, Raptor Drone Pilot.

Agent4096 fucked around with this message at Mar 6, 2010 around 15:08

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

tighten up tone down tuen thuen

Awesome Kristin posted:

I especially don't want him anywhere dangerous.

Being a police officer is ok?

Kelmo
Jul 29, 2002

sidney crosby is my favorite player because he skates fast and he shoots the puck and it goes in the net and everyone cheers and i love him

Maybe the pillow factory is hiring security. The military is the military, it is most likely going to be dangerous and if you want him to have some desk job why even bother joining the military. Or he can just get a regular job for a few years and not do drugs and join the police.

__underscore__
Apr 15, 2008

I was in my laboratory creating what I thought would be, well, something great for the World...

Being separated from family and friends for long stretches of time is part and parcel of military life. Also getting a "Desk Job" would in no way prevent him from going to what most would consider combat zones.

My very good friend's fiance is in the airforce and has what would be considered a desk job and has been deployed to both Afghanistan and Iraq twice. They have desks over there too and have a considerable need of people to staff them. Most recently she's been relocated, along with her 13 year old daughter, to Utah for the next two years where they have no support network (family/friends). After two years they've let her know that they WILL be moving her again and it WONT be back to California.

Is there a reason that your boyfriend can't find work that wouldn't involve life and death risks as a matter of practice? Homeboy can't type? What are his interests besides carrying a gun?

Hillary Clintons Thong
Oct 4, 2002

by Ozmaugh


buttplug posted:

So let's get this straight. You want him to join a branch of the military to reap all of the benefits, while avoiding all of the strife and sacrifices that utterly define the military as a whole?

Good luck with that!

Pretty much this.

Jiro Kage
Aug 6, 2003

PICKLE SURPRISE!

Murphy's Law of military states that if you intend on joining with a specific job and location in mind, you will end up on the total other side of the spectrum. Therefore, he should sign up for the most dangerous job ever in Afghanistan.

iammeandsoareyou
Oct 27, 2007


Everything in the military is dangerous, even in non-combat areas. In the Navy especially there are tons of industrial accidents,and in all services people get killed all the time in training accidents. You also generally don't just do one job while in the military but will be moved around for many different types of jobs. including some that will take you on deployment. In todays military climate, what you are looking for does not exist.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


Godholio posted:

Being a police officer is ok?

Ok you guys are probably taking what I am saying wrong. I get that being a police officer has risks. But we get to live together, he would get to see his kid(s), I would get to see him before and after he is done with work. That's what I mean. I didn't know if there were jobs like that or not in the military.

Sorry if I offended anyone because I certainly didn't intend to.

Also saying "you don't know anything...." isn't right of you. I never said we wouldn't have been getting married for a situation like that. I know the government only sees two options for relationships.

Thank you guys for all the information. It's going to be very helpful in our discussions.

Awesome Kristin fucked around with this message at Mar 7, 2010 around 00:26

Ireland Sucks
May 16, 2004



Aren't illegal drugs a problem for the military too? If he stopped a couple of years ago or something then he may as well apply to the police anyway. Get him to read up on polygraph tests: they are really not infallible mind reading machines.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004
I hate tarsiformes

Jiro Kage posted:

Murphy's Law of military states that if you intend on joining with a specific job and location in mind, you will end up on the total other side of the spectrum. Therefore, he should sign up for the most dangerous job ever in Afghanistan.
Exactly!

Tell him to sign on to be a professional IED-finder in Iraq so they can decide to stick him in a missile silo in North Dakota for his entire career.

1830
May 2, 2009


Awesome Kristin posted:

Ok you guys are probably taking what I am saying wrong. I get that being a police officer has risks. But we get to live together, he would get to see his kid(s), I would get to see him before and after he is done with work. That's what I mean. I didn't know if there were jobs like that or not in the military.

Sorry if I offended anyone because I certainly didn't intend to.

Also saying "you don't know anything...." isn't right of you. I never said we wouldn't have been getting married for a situation like that. I know the government only sees two options for relationships.

Thank you guys for all the information. It's going to be very helpful in our discussions.

Marry him if you already got kids with this guy.

Being a military spouse does have benefits.

Back It Up, Sister!
Apr 21, 2005
Somebody's coming upstairs. Somebody's serious.

1830 posted:

Marry him if you already got kids with this guy.

Being a military spouse does have benefits.

Bingo. Even if you don't have kids, marry him before he joins. Instant BAH and BAS (well, almost), separation pay, etc.

Eyeball
Jun 4, 2008

by angerbeet


Slave posted:

Aren't illegal drugs a problem for the military too? If he stopped a couple of years ago or something then he may as well apply to the police anyway. Get him to read up on polygraph tests: they are really not infallible mind reading machines.

He probably just smokes pot and has maybe dabbled in some other stuff. That's not really a problem for a military that is struggling to fill positions.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


We smoked some weed within the year so we're gonna be trying to talk to some people that work in the town we're looking at. They are desperate for Officers so maybe we can get a meeting with the chief or something to get around the 3 year limit.

After talking to a friend about everything I want to say I'm sorry for how it may have sounded when I asked my question. We've been reading about the airforce now and if he cannot get into police training he may go for that.

Just to clarify, we don't have kids yet but plan to when we get married. We're honestly ready to move on in our relationship but neither of us having a career has put everything on hold since we live with his family.

Thanks everyone, and sorry again if I offended. It wasn't my intention at all.

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004
I hate tarsiformes

Awesome Kristin posted:

We smoked some weed within the year so we're gonna be trying to talk to some people that work in the town we're looking at. They are desperate for Officers so maybe we can get a meeting with the chief or something to get around the 3 year limit.
Just lie about it like everyone else.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


Rent-A-Cop posted:

Just lie about it like everyone else.

But they use a Polygraph "test" so he would risk being caught using countermeasures. Would that hurt his chances of re-applying after being clean for 3 years?

RobotEmpire
Dec 8, 2007


Tell him to not enlist. The fewer sad fucks who don't want to deploy before they even go to boot camp the better off we'll all be.

Marx
Oct 24, 2003

This was the greatest day of my life. Finally I could stand on my soapbox and tell you American scum that you got exactly what you deserved.
P.S. Sorry Osama that Americans were not compassionate enough to take you in peacefully. You deserved better.


Awesome Kristin posted:

But they use a Polygraph "test" so he would risk being caught using countermeasures. Would that hurt his chances of re-applying after being clean for 3 years?

Well either he can lie and pull it off or he can tell the truth and get branded as a "drug using scumbag".

Selavi
Jan 1, 2010


You can't really lie on a drug test.

Marx
Oct 24, 2003

This was the greatest day of my life. Finally I could stand on my soapbox and tell you American scum that you got exactly what you deserved.
P.S. Sorry Osama that Americans were not compassionate enough to take you in peacefully. You deserved better.


Selavi posted:

You can't really lie on a drug test.

Depending on what they're looking for you can be clean for a bit prior and roll out easy.

HeroOfTheRevolution
Apr 26, 2008



Eyeball posted:

That's not really a problem for a military that is struggling to fill positions.

Yeah... this isn't the US military. They're turning people away and raising standards significantly across the services.

Gribble
Nov 16, 2005


polygraphs don't actually work btw so

roads
Feb 21, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Don't enlist if you aren't willing to make sacrifices. The benefits are there for people who are willing to put everything on the line. The armed forces aren't really begging for help right now, either. They've been turning people away left and right, the bar's been getting raised for some time now. It's better to leave the military to those who are actually interested in it and aren't just trying to use the job security.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


roads posted:

Don't enlist if you aren't willing to make sacrifices. The benefits are there for people who are willing to put everything on the line. The armed forces aren't really begging for help right now, either. They've been turning people away left and right, the bar's been getting raised for some time now. It's better to leave the military to those who are actually interested in it and aren't just trying to use the job security.

I understand. This will have to be something we discuss a lot more together and do more research on.

Poise
Jul 28, 2006


At least you started in the most logical place for advice on major life decisions...the somethingawful.com forums

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RobotEmpire
Dec 8, 2007


I literally do not understand the mentality "How can I get paid by the government to sit in an office in Illinois?" If you want that, go be a civilian government employee.

If YOUR BOYFRIEND is even thinking about the military, guess what: He isn't as opposed to deployed as you are. I'd wager that when he talks to a recruiter, he'll be telling the recruiter a much different story than you're getting. Sounds like you're holding him back/getting in the way of what he wants to do with his life. He wants to be a cop or in the military... guess what, he wants an exciting life and you're getting in the way.

Yeah, yeah, HE says he doesn't want to deploy... TO YOU. In his mind he sure isn't opposed to the concept.

Sorry, I work in the recruiting establishment and I've seen stories like this a million times.

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