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GChammer
Jan 14, 2009

by Peatpot


http://www.news.com.au/national/man...r-1225848327133


I knew this guy briefly IRL through friends of mine. From what I can gather he latched on to a reasonably successful local band and followed them around livin' up the scenester life. I hate people like that.

Here is his awful (and short-lived) blog.

http://johnzimmermann.wordpress.com/


Greyscale photos and moody captions, what an artist.

I know how awful this sounds... but I'm really happy about his situation. I keep reading the news article over and over, then I imagine the dude sitting in his holding cell. Somehow it makes me feel validated that I never liked him. The thought of him in prison is the psychological counterweight to all the photos on myspace I used to see with him surrounded by people who somehow didn't cotton on the way I did; not that I would have picked him for an internet-predatoring little-league pitcher, I just thought he was a sucky person. And sucky people manipulate underage girls for sex, right? I'm a terrible person and I'm honest about that so let's not ignore how much loathing this guy deserves.

I've been locked up for public intoxication before. I thought I was going to go insane during the brief hour or two they kept me in that cold concrete shoebox. But then they let me go. Right now I'm at home in my room, warm, with food and cigarettes close at hand, cable internet and a queen size bed behind me. Right now John Zimmerman is in one of those cold holding cells and they won't be releasing him any time soon. His next court appearance isn't for three months. The victims' ordeal aside, even if he only had to serve the next three months, I'd feel reasonably happy about it. It has nothing to do with me personally but I just feel somehow it makes up for him being such an unrelenting douche.

"Hey I'm John. My friends call me Zimmo. I'm friends with [band]."

Somehow I don't think inmates wherever they send this creep will respond to that opener with the enthusiasm or delight of a thirteen-year-old girl.

Also, he's really skinny with full sleeve tatts, a typical emo-skater-looking hipster. He is going to be everybody's girlfriend if he ever makes it to a real prison.

And I feel fantastic about all of that. A little shocked perhaps, giddy with excitement maybe. I'm just so happy that I'm not in prison, and a little bit happy that he is.

Oh and before you attack my snide remarks, read the article. It's not like 'she lied about her age'.

When I first met the guy I thought he was a douchebag. I never stopped thinking he was a douchebag. I liked my friends and saw him as just an attention whore with a fetish for 'scene' people and 'the scene' in general. I thought this guy was a shithead and now he's in jail. I feel better about my personal judgement if nothing else. Also, haha dude's in jail.

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Lilac
Dec 8, 2005

by Fistgrrl


Thanks for the blog update.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004



Congrats on the schadenfreude, I guess. I mean, good that a predator isn't able to continue, but you seem happier about "gently caress this guy" than about "don't gently caress these girls."

Tovarisch Rafa
Nov 4, 2009

by Debbie Metallica


This is what happens when a country is founded by criminals

Shakespearean Beef
Jul 12, 2008


Would you also tell us about your feelings about other people, starting alphabetically please. I am interested in this

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005

by Fistgrrl


Why are you happy about him being held in poor conditions, rather than hoping he gets therapy of some kind?

Serrath
Mar 17, 2005

I have nothing of value to contribute

Congratulations, on behalf of Somethingawful, I would like to acknowledge your little personal victory and I hope all your personal crusades end so well for you.

It's nice to know that, of all the people he's hurt, of all the misery he's caused, he could bring a smile to your face.

miserable lil onion
Oct 15, 2008


Shakespearean Beef posted:

Would you also tell us about your feelings about other people, starting alphabetically please. I am interested in this

No he should go in reverse alphabetical order, as he's already started with "Z".

Shakespearean Beef
Jul 12, 2008


There was this guy Adam and he was a bit of a jerk I didnt like him but then he tried to mug this dude with his rickytick and boy howdy the police werent impressed so they took him to the prison and locked him up with other people and because he was in there it made me feel good because i didnt like him and he could also assault me with his dingaling because im not that strong i dont know what I would do in that situation maybe give him my wallet?

Mixopterus
Jul 22, 2009

Ha ha, well met! This battle of wits is over!

1. Why the gently caress should should we care about how you feel toward this guy? He's some skinny emo idiot, OK, that really isn't very compelling to the reader.

2. You care more about him being in prison than the fact he raped people.

3. The fact you would post this example of schadenfreude on a public forum instead of keeping it inside or only amongst very, very close friends speaks volumes as to your own nature. I am going to have to agree with the poster above and request more writings dealing with how you feel towards other people. Alphabetized, of course.

benhobbys
Jan 26, 2005

by angerbeet


I don't get it.

You hate the guy because he is a scener who hangs out with a band and not because he raped a few preteen girls (and would have raped more if he wasn't caught)? I don't really understand that. It might make a bit more sense if he made your life hell all throughout school and this is Karmic Justice.

I also don't really understand how someone's life can be justified because someone else is banging kids.

NinjaPaco
May 6, 2003
i have no idea what custom title should be

Don't you have a picture of him that we can direct our hatred towards? If not a picture of you could substitute

Emacs Headroom
Aug 2, 2003



quote:

Mr Zimmerman is accused of befriending the girls in chat rooms, then blackmailing them with compromising pictures of themselves.

The hearing was told Mr Zimmerman threatened to expose them to their parents, friends and teachers if they did not meet him.

Wow, sounds like a class act.

OfF KiLTeR
Apr 16, 2007

The scabs sure are attractive!

Congratulations! You've measured yourself in relation to a child molester child-porn creating hipster and it appears you've come out on top!

Emacs Headroom
Aug 2, 2003



OfF KiLTeR posted:

Congratulations! You've measured yourself in relation to a child molester child-porn creating hipster and it appears you've come out on top!

Haha, what a harsh splash of perspective.

cloudnine
Jul 13, 2007

by Peatpot


Sounds like you were jealous of his popularity.

antiloquax
Feb 23, 2008

by Ozma


You know, I have a few rear end in a top hat acquaintances, but when I complain about them, people say "Don't be a dick, they're not that bad." I just wish one of them would have the decency to ruin the lives of young girls by repeatedly raping them so that I could say, "See, I told you I was right."

Kiyanis
Sep 25, 2007

BBQ Now.


OfF KiLTeR posted:

Congratulations! You've measured yourself in relation to a child molester child-porn creating hipster and it appears you've come out on top!

This is the best way to look at this.

Gravel Gravy
Apr 3, 2008

Worst. Venue. Ever.

cloudnine posted:

Sounds like you were jealous of his popularity.

He was jealous of all the mad pussy that guy was getting. Now he doesn't feel so jealous. Cause the only pussy he'll getting is penis in the butt.

Atreiden
May 4, 2008


If only more people I hate would molest children, so I can justify my hate and post about it here

happyflurple
Oct 31, 2006



Congratulations someone you don't like is a rapist?

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.


This guy I didn't really like at work quit a few months ago and has since attempted to murder his girlfriend, the mother of his newborn son, with an axe.

So I guess everybody wins. Cheers!

GChammer
Jan 14, 2009

by Peatpot


OfF KiLTeR posted:

Congratulations! You've measured yourself in relation to a child molester child-porn creating hipster and it appears you've come out on top!

You are probably the most correct in your analysis of my psychology on this one. I don't want to trivialise the man's crimes and it's sad it took all of this for me to be able to say 'I told you so'.

Now taking bets on the possible impending John Zimmerman Jail Suicide. I'll start the odds at 5:1 for a pre-trial strangulation.

cloudnine
Jul 13, 2007

by Peatpot


GChammer posted:

Now taking bets on the possible impending John Zimmerman Jail Suicide. I'll start the odds at 5:1 for a pre-trial strangulation.

I'll give you 100:1 that nobody cares.

Takers?

cloudnine fucked around with this message at Apr 3, 2010 around 16:48

Admiral Snuggles
Dec 12, 2008

Freedom


I'm guessing he also raped you when you were underage. This is the only way your shadenfreude makes any kind of sense. Relish the shadenfreude.

Tom Ripley
Mar 21, 2010

by T. Finn


You're just jealous you couldn't get a 14 year old to sleep with you if you tried.

Tovarisch Rafa
Nov 4, 2009

by Debbie Metallica


You know people that really hate child molesters are usually child molesters at heart.

Source: Fact

K-os
Nov 27, 2005


cloudnine posted:

I'll give you 100:1 that nobody cares.

Takers?


I don't think you understand betting odds

OfF KiLTeR
Apr 16, 2007

The scabs sure are attractive!

Admiral Snuggles posted:

I'm guessing he also raped you when you were underage. This is the only way your shadenfreude makes any kind of sense. Relish the shadenfreude.

I was just about to present my case that the OP was his first victim. Schadenfreude was at the core of my theory.

Discount Rhino
Aug 13, 2006

They claim that I'm violent. Now I choose to be silent. Can I get a witness?

Tovarisch Rafa posted:

You know people that really hate child molesters are usually child molesters at heart.

Source: Fact

This is undeniably true.

Mr. G
Aug 23, 2007

by angerbotSD


Admiral Snuggles posted:

I'm guessing he also raped you when you were underage. This is the only way your shadenfreude makes any kind of sense. Relish the shadenfreude.

Schadenfraude Relish, made from ze tears of innocent's anguish. *disengage German Nihilist mode*

Shakespearean Beef
Jul 12, 2008


GChammer posted:

Now taking bets on the possible impending John Zimmerman Jail Suicide. I'll start the odds at 5:1 for a pre-trial strangulation.

Im taking 2:1 odds that i can ride up without you noticing and shove my dick my whole dick and nothing but my dick into your mouth and you wouldnt care because youre pathetic and youre too busy comparing yourself to criminals and pedos and being shocked that you came out on top like you just won the lifelottery and your prize is a lady who you can finally look at without seizing up and breaking eye contact

HardCoil
Jan 25, 2003


Christ, did the guy steal your 12 year old girlfriend or what?

SuperMonkeyJoe
May 14, 2009


This really puts the passive in passive aggressive, you sit around hating this guy for no particular reason other than "he was a douchebag" and then when he gets arrested, you claim it as a victory. Your inaction will surely save us all from these scumbags!

GChammer
Jan 14, 2009

by Peatpot


OfF KiLTeR posted:

I was just about to present my case that the OP was his first victim. Schadenfreude was at the core of my theory.

Pffft the guy is ugly, no way would I have let him surprise sex me. Ever.

Pablo Gigante
Apr 16, 2002

Bienvenido a la semana laboral


Why the gently caress did you post this thread

cant wait to post!!
Nov 7, 2009

by T. Finn


Hi OP.. while this paedophile, "John Zimmerman", will probably die a quick and violent death by stab wounds, yours will be a slow and very, very painful one. Enjoy your cigarettes.

Judakel
Jul 29, 2004


GChammer posted:

You are probably the most correct in your analysis of my psychology on this one. I don't want to trivialise the man's crimes and it's sad it took all of this for me to be able to say 'I told you so'.

Now taking bets on the possible impending John Zimmerman Jail Suicide. I'll start the odds at 5:1 for a pre-trial strangulation.

You lead a very sad life.

cloudnine
Jul 13, 2007

by Peatpot


K-os posted:

I don't think you understand betting odds

Much like OP doesn't understand self-hate.

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Corridor
Oct 19, 2006



I thought this guy might be a John Zimmerman I know. But it wasn't. Thought I'd give you a heads up.

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