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Bro Enlai posted:Beautiful opinion from the 6th Cir. this week: I love these, thank you.
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Jul 24, 2014 03:02
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Jesse Ventura tried to show his chest tattoos at his defamation trial against the "American Sniper" guy's estate, but the judge stopped it.Zarkov Cortez posted:http://www.macleans.ca/work/jobs/what-happens-when-a-lawyer-drops-the-f-bomb/ I think lawyers dropping a "gently caress you" is way more common than the author of that opinion realizes.
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Jul 24, 2014 12:38
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Also, here's more going down in Minnesota. And it all was revealed through butt-dialing.
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Jul 24, 2014 12:54
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Jesus Christ. I am such a piece of poo poo family law attorney. This is this morning: 1) I have a client whose English isn't great but enough to get by. We go over his testimony and he knows what I'm going to ask him. His ex-girlfriend shows up pro se and professes not to speak a lick of English. The Judge asks where my translator is-- and I tell him that I don't have one because our side doesn't need one. He tells me that he refuses to do the hearing without one. I tell him to give me ten minutes to figure something out. Well, this Judge's court is right across the street from IV-D court (child support court). IV-D court is where mutants go. Wal-Mart has nothing on IV-D court. So there's a huge line of people waiting for their child support hearing. I poke my head out of the courtroom and yell "Does anyone here speak Spanish and English and want to make $20?" Hands shoot up. I grab my translator and do the hearing. 2) Also this morning was a hearing for a potential client on a custody case. Same time, different court. I tell her that before I represent her, she needs to pay me. She doesn't pay but drops off a huge file. Fine. I tell her she needs to ask for a continuance if she wants a lawyer to represent her. I poke my head into the court this morning, let the judge know she's probably going to ask for a continuance because she hasn't paid me. I find her wandering on the wrong floor and tell her where to go check in and show her where the Court is. Then I come back at 11:30 and see her sitting outside the courtroom. She hadn't checked in. I usher her into the courtroom, wave at the judge, point at her and sit down. The judge calls her and the opposing party up and she proceeds to do the hearing. Meanwhile, I'm also in the court pews kind of pointing when there's something the judge needs to know (because he's doing all the questioning). Judge renders a temporary order and she comes over and asks me to explain it to her. I sigh and do anyway. So we're walking out in the middle of the courthouse lobby and she asks me if I'd like to get paid. "Uhhhh...yes." She whips out a wad of $20s in the courthouse, counts them, and pays me in front of all the lawyers walking in and out while the security team (who know me by this point) loses it behind me. Family law. G-Mawwwwwww fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Jul 24, 2014 |
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Jul 24, 2014 18:50
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Every time I feel an itch to start doing divorce work again I just mainline a CaptainScraps post or two and it keeps me steady for a few days.
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Jul 24, 2014 19:23
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CaptainScraps posted:I have a client who's English isn't great I found a funny typo, give me my Biglaw associate bonus
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Jul 24, 2014 20:05
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CaptainScraps posted:Family law. 
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Jul 24, 2014 20:12
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Nichol posted:Being a seat of the pants getshitdone lawyer is way more fun than being another loving suit.
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Jul 24, 2014 20:14
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Soothing Vapors posted:*sobs quietly in kiddie pool filled with gold coins* Other benefit of family law attorney: "You can't pay? Well, I know you got those coins/land/etc...but we'll have another lawyer review the transaction first to make sure it's fair. HEY JOHN C'MERE." MoFauxHawk posted:I found a funny typo, give me my Biglaw associate bonus You can kiss the dirtiest part of my rear end, sir.
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Jul 24, 2014 20:18
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CaptainScraps posted:Well, this Judge's court is right across the street from IV-D court (child support court). IV-D court is where mutants go. Wal-Mart has nothing on IV-D court. drat son, way to support those kids. quote:piece of poo poo family law attorney I dunno, this phrase feels redundant.
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Jul 24, 2014 20:59
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MoFauxHawk posted:I found a funny typo, give me my Biglaw associate bonus I thought you were going to work for unions and fight the power though!
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Jul 24, 2014 23:52
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I loved doing IV-D court, it was a daily dose of perspective. You think you have problems? Check out this file... Plus, at that point most of the heavy fighting is done (in family court), and if they're rich enough to want to fight to the death over every penny, they hire private attorneys who do the bulk of the work on the case.
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Jul 25, 2014 02:45
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Started doing legal work today. On a completely unrelated note, suicide hotlines are anonymous and won't result in the authorities being notified, right? Asking for a friend.
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Jul 25, 2014 03:45
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Abugadu posted:I loved doing IV-D court, it was a daily dose of perspective. You think you have problems? Check out this file... Man, if I'm taking a drat case I'm objecting to the associate judge and going up to a big boy. I don't want to bother in a court where I can basically appeal for free.
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Jul 25, 2014 04:10
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Unamuno posted:Started doing legal work today. On a completely unrelated note, suicide hotlines are anonymous and won't result in the authorities being notified, right? Asking for a friend. If you're put on hold and pull the trigger, no.
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Jul 25, 2014 11:00
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Man, if I'm taking a drat case I'm objecting to the associate judge and going up to a big boy. I don't want to bother in a court where I can basically appeal for free. I have a few friends who do a bunch of stuff in these types of courts, and they say that a sizable number of matters are not actually appealed for a new trial in a court of record.
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Jul 25, 2014 13:40
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Green Crayons posted:I have a few friends who do a bunch of stuff in these types of courts, and they say that a sizable number of matters are not actually appealed for a new trial in a court of record. IV-D court is Judge Judy material thought.
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Jul 25, 2014 14:13
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Green Crayons posted:I have a few friends who do a bunch of stuff in these types of courts, and they say that a sizable number of matters are not actually appealed for a new trial in a court of record. I'm probably jaded on this because my countys associate judge is not a lawyer, and in my cases I'm only ever involved because there's substantial domestic violence. Also, none of my clients or opposing parties have money, so cold support isnt really a big fight. Custody is, though.
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Jul 25, 2014 14:18
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Man, if I'm taking a drat case I'm objecting to the associate judge and going up to a big boy. I don't want to bother in a court where I can basically appeal for free. You do that in Dallas, your objection is denied. And the AJ gets pissed. And the district judge gets pissed. So the bigshot attorneys have responded by bringing a court reporter to the AJ hearings. The IV-D court in Dallas is AMAZING to watch. You will see people wearing and doing poo poo you will not believe.
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Jul 25, 2014 14:41
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Is it open to the public?
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Jul 25, 2014 15:40
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Mike Cartwright posted:If you're put on hold and pull the trigger, no. So is there a cause of action here? Asking for a friend's wife and kids.
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Jul 25, 2014 16:31
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Unamuno posted:So is there a cause of action here? Asking for a friend's wife and kids. Only if you make sure to have the wife and kids watch it happen.
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Jul 25, 2014 16:56
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We got bought last month. Bunch of expansion probably coming up. Even a certain goggle wearer is moving here 
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Jul 26, 2014 22:47
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Adar posted:We got bought last month. Bunch of expansion probably coming up. Even a certain goggle wearer is moving here They may not let you play hearthstone all day!
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Jul 27, 2014 00:17
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Adar posted:We got bought last month. Bunch of expansion probably coming up. Even a certain goggle wearer is moving here I might literally be the only person reading this thread who knows the person to whom you refer. I mean, assuming it's the same goggle-wearer who introduced me to the music of Freddie Gibbs. What jobs are open and hire me pls? Unamuno fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Jul 27, 2014 |
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Jul 27, 2014 01:33
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Homura and Sickle fucked around with this message at 10:38 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Jul 27, 2014 03:11
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CaptainScraps posted:translator story What backwater state are you in that the court doesn't provide a translator/doesn't require the translator to be officially certified in some way? I guess if the judge simply swears them in along with the witness or otherwise "certifies" them its just as well, but that's a bit fly by night imo.
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Jul 27, 2014 16:33
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Glambags posted:What backwater state are you in that the court doesn't provide a translator/doesn't require the translator to be officially certified in some way? I guess if the judge simply swears them in along with the witness or otherwise "certifies" them its just as well, but that's a bit fly by night imo. Dallas (and Fort Worth) instituted a system of magistrates in Dallas that allow for a reduction in the loads the family law courts have to bear. Magistrates don't have a court reporter or a record but still issue a decision that ostensibly would be the same decision rendered in a district court. As a result, we have quick but dirty hearings. Plus, we know they talk to the district court judges and the district court judges usually back them up. But at least you get a hearing. If the parties are indigent and applying through the AG, the AG will provide a certified translator. Aside-- the magistrates in Fort Worth have decided they have infinite power, so 90% of them will simply bring the lawyers back into chambers, let them tell the judge the issue and render a ruling. No hearing. G-Mawwwwwww fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Jul 27, 2014 |
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Jul 27, 2014 16:37
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Jagchosis posted:I also recently learned that JAG will defer for an extra year if I land a clerkship, so I think I'm going to apply for one either with the judge I worked for or in Colorado. Any tips? For example, with my friend whose doing clerkship then JAG, his clerkship is with a federal magistrate. So I know JAG doesn't require an Article III-or-bust clerkship, if your Colorado judge is state affiliated or a federal magistrate and not a federal district or circuit court judge. More generally, clerking is awesome. The folks ITT who are clerking (temp and career) will adamantly defend the sentiment. So go for it, if you think you'd like it. I don't know how applicable your clerkship experience will be to anything you do in JAG -- and the judge you'll be working for will certainly define your experience, in terms of both subject matter and workplace experiences -- but that doesn't mean your year as a clerk will be any less fantastic.
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Jul 27, 2014 17:09
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Green Crayons posted:More generally, clerking is awesome. Best job ever.
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Jul 27, 2014 17:15
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Arcturas posted:Best job ever. Clerking is indeed the best job ever. And I am saying this as someone who loves my current job.
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Jul 28, 2014 01:04
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See, you say that, but all I hear is "this is as good as it gets."
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Jul 28, 2014 05:55
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It's true. I'd probably end up as a career if it wasn't for the money/city residency requirement in a city with a school district spiraling down the tubes. 
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Jul 28, 2014 13:57
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Just got my undergraduate law degree in Adelaide, Australia. Need another graduate diploma before I can get admitted to practice. The legal labour market is probably only marginally better here than described in the OP, so I've decided to take six months off to see if I can find work that uses law but doesn't need bar certification with the idea being that I'll go back for it in a couple of years when I have experience and contacts. Of course that will almost certainly not happen, as although I actually really like giving legal advice - as I've learned in clinic work this semester - I'm pretty sure I would rather kill myself than have to keep pushing up billable hours. I'm just glad the Australian tertiary education system isn't quite as terribly debt focussed as the US one. Yet. CAMP FARTING ROCKS fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 14:31
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Lawthread 13: I'm pretty sure I would rather kill myself than have to keep pushing up billable hours
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Jul 28, 2014 14:43
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A Game of Chess posted:I'd probably end up as a career if it wasn't for the money/city residency requirement in a city with a school district spiraling down the tubes. I dunno, I bet judges enjoy the fresh new face every year. Clerks are typically unspoiled by the vagaries of real life. Like a witch that must sacrifice virgins to stay young, the judge requires a naive 20-something that they can impress. If it became a career, then the job doesn't exist anymore. The judge doesn't need a clerk, they need a captive audience to realize how smart they are. [It's still a sweet as hell job, but the judge doesn't want sloppy seconds]
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Jul 28, 2014 18:41
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I have a good friend who is a career clerk and loves it, but she also lives in a city with a relatively low cost of living so the clerking salary isn't quite as terrible in comparison.
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Jul 28, 2014 18:59
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I'm getting to mess with bankruptcy for the first time in years this week. I forgot how loving particular the rules are for everything. Also, the debtor is screwing over my client so that's fun to explain: "well, yeah, he owes you money, lots of it. But uhh, he yelled bankruptcy and now you're going to get a nickel a year for a few years. Well, good luck!"
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Jul 28, 2014 19:54
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I swear to god if the USPTO doesn't come up with some 101 regulations that are possible to follow... Them: "Abstract ideas aren't patentable unless they satisfy the following conditions" Me: "Hey, that's great, but how do I know what an abstract idea is?" Them: "Does it look like a financial business method like in Alice?" Me: "So, we're basically just ignoring 101, then?" Them:  Me:
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Jul 28, 2014 22:34
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I guess if you can articulate what an abstract idea is then it wouldn't be an abstract idea, would it?
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Jul 28, 2014 22:49
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