Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

So I'll be working free for the LA City Attorney's office this summer.

Go me.

# ¿ May 7, 2010 02:09

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 19:21

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Abugadu posted:

To update the OP, I'm back at the Guam AG's office.

Also, last threads' champions:

User -- Posts
JudicialRestraints 716
Ainsley McTree 660
Incredulous Red 475
CaptainScraps 473
evilweasel 463

Apparently UW-Madison needs to assign more busywork.

loving JR. (Ainsley doesn't have a job so I get it)

Also, atlas needs to step up his game.

# ¿ May 7, 2010 02:30

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

evilweasel posted:

comment one on here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ValparaisoLaw

Pro bono legal assistance to amateur athletes? Seriously?

# ¿ May 7, 2010 05:52

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

prussian advisor posted:

Where do you go to law school?

Not in Los Angeles . . .

# ¿ May 7, 2010 05:58

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Abugadu posted:

lawl

Those old megathreads are awesome.

This needs to be added to the OP and coupled with his "literally suck a dick in Alaska" post

# ¿ May 7, 2010 07:11

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

TheBestDeception posted:

Via Email: Job Alert!

State judge or Federal? Because, you know, networking. . .

# ¿ May 7, 2010 20:20

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Ainsley, I know somebody who needs a licensing contract drawn up. Don't know what it pays. You interested?

# ¿ May 8, 2010 00:09

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Aschlafly posted:

A day after the deadline, so I'm not terribly surprised.

Like I said, I'm having math withdrawal. I was actually accepted to awesome grad school programs for theoretical bio (Stanford, Berkeley, Davis, UCLA) and agreed to go to Berkeley before freaking the gently caress out, going into panic mode, and not communicating with anyone. Maybe law school failure is a sign that I ought to rebuild those burned bridges and give grad school another shot.

Go cure cancer or some poo poo

# ¿ May 8, 2010 03:00

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Holland Oats posted:

I got my CLS housing today! $830 a month, one roommate, and I'll be living on 113th St. Am I right in thinking that I got pretty lucky?

No. You're still going to law school

# ¿ May 8, 2010 03:12

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

J Miracle posted:

Sorry dog I go to a TTT in Michigan (not Cooley)

Ave Maria?

# ¿ May 8, 2010 05:13

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Solomon Grundy posted:

Just wait until you graduate and have a job and there is no celebrating again ever because there is always something billable that you could be doing instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFnVDOvO-ks

# ¿ May 8, 2010 22:48

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Above the Law posted:

86. Northeastern: Practical legal experience, and you can�t walk down Landsdowne Street without stumbling into nubile co-eds from one of the area�s 8 million colleges.

Ainsley!!!!

# ¿ May 9, 2010 02:11

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

THE MACHO MAN posted:

So I've been accepted into Pace, and I'm awaiting a second letter to see if I got any aid or scholarship money. I might get a little, since I got a merit from New York Law and a few other T3s. For this argument, let's assume I get like $10-15k.

My #1 is Rutgers and #2 is Seton. I'm due for a response any day now, and my friend with a significantly lower LSAT got in, so I'm still positive. Rutgers, because of it's rank and low price, I'm pretty sure I'm going there if I get in regardless of what I get elsewhere.

Assume I get rejected from Rutgers, but get into Seton, which is like $45k a year in tuition. If there's a $15-20k difference in tuition, is it worth losing the benefit of going to a more prestigious school like Seton to take the money?? Although I have an interest in land use and environmental law (pace has two big progrmas) I always figured that Seton or Rutgers would be better, but some practicing lawyers have told me to consider Pace if I get an award over those schools

Let's start with your numbers. What are they?

# ¿ May 9, 2010 04:27

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Tetrix posted:

what the gently caress why didn't you take them home and fu.....oh

blowjob for summary buttfuck

# ¿ May 9, 2010 05:13

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

sigmachiev posted:

My advice changes if you dislike this person or if money is on the line.

Less competition for BigLaw job upon graduation?

# ¿ May 10, 2010 03:42

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

billion dollar bitch posted:

Well, I've decided not to do anything. But Feces, how are you saying "people will cheat will get theirs?" How will people get theirs if nothing happens?

For the record, I know a girl who actually cheated on the LSAT and got into American University LS from that. Of course you can say, "lol she is in law school she got hers amirite?" but then there's necessarily some kid out there who's going to a not-as-good law school, who might have done much better otherwise.

I guess the difference is nobody will know if she cheated on the LSAT and hopefully the prof can just look at the margins...

PS Good luck to you too.

All I got out of this is that billion dollar bitch is a pussy and doesn't really want to succeed in law school otherwise everyone would already be under the bus.

Gotta be hard to win amirite

# ¿ May 10, 2010 05:28

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Avalanche posted:

This might not be the appropriate thread for this, but what is the general opinion about the paralegal side of things? Is it just as hosed as slitting your wrists for the bloodgod? Or is there actually some semblance of opportunity and hope with that choice compared to becoming a full blown ~~lawyer~~ masochist?

There is a local community college near me promoting a two year paralegal program, and it is kind of temping; all things considered, I am a burned out college grad with a BA in linguistics. But, I have heard some hosed up poo poo from buddies who are paralegals. Long hours, bullshit unpaid internships, lawyers who hire paralegals when they have a big amount of cases and then fire them when stuff slows down, good luck finding a job, etc.

Is this a good option to get into law if you're the kind of person that doesn't want to pay back $100k worth in loans after graduating into a jobless economy? Or is the entire paralegal profession just a massive joke that gets tons of people to pay mad amounts of cash for worthless community college classes?

There isn't a whole lot of reason to take 2 years to become a paralegal. Just apply at a bunch of local law firms as a legal assistant/secretary, and if you feel like you're not getting the training you want, take a night certificate course.

Also you'll be the first one fired when the partners feel their profits being threatened by payroll.

# ¿ May 10, 2010 06:54

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

THE MACHO MAN posted:

Hey, sorry I'm bumping from like two pages ago but a couple people responded and I never got back

Thanks for this post, it was really informative and terribly depressing.

And yes guys, I am certainly not 100% deadset on lawschool. My good friend has basically been trying to talk me out of it since day 1, but said at the very least if I really wanna give it a try I should take the LSATs, apply and reassess when I get responses (basically where I am now)

I've been working full time for six years almost, so I'm basically trying to get a better job (journalism). Not totally grasping at straws yet! I was always moderately interested in law, and figured I'd give it a try. I just don't have much of an interest in grad school and that's really the only other option besides law for a stupid poo poo English degree.

So yeah, unless I get some kind of crazy offer from Rutgers, I'm probably not going.

The only other question I ask is how much does the date that you send your app affect the scholarship offers you receive?? I got a 160 on the lsat. My gpa is a 2.8, but it's low only because I basically pissed away a year and a half of undergrad and dropped out. I was something like a 3.3 when I re-entered, and I worked full time for four years in college with lots of community service poo poo too. Provided that I don't get any $ this year, is it worth applying very early next year to see if I get a ride, or not worth the time??

Dude, how many times have you taken the LSAT, and when in the cycle did you apply? There are definitely schools who will take you with those numbers and interesting softs if you apply early enough. Can you somehow insinuate you are gay or a minority?

Also, don't go, last thing we need is more lawyers

Defleshed posted:

So basically your only reasons for going to law school are "to get a better job" and "my undergrad is poo poo".

Hahaha, you basically ARE me. I'm not trying to be a dick, but you should not go to law school.

# ¿ May 10, 2010 20:24

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

SWATJester posted:

Seconding. I had similar numbers (sub 3.0 GPA and low-mid 160's LSAT) and I got in to AU. It's totally possible. You have to have a LOT of soft factors in your favor, and even then it's a matter of luck, but it's not impossible. I also got into several other similarly ranked schools (Cardozo, UF, Colorado-Boulder) so I really doubt it was a fluke.

On the other hand, that was 3 years ago, things may have changed.

Seriously, though, I had a sub-3.0 gpa in a science major, plus a median-high LSAT, plus some fun soft factors. You know what that translates to? SCHOLARSHIP MONEY

Hell yeah minority ancestors. Hell yeah.

# ¿ May 10, 2010 22:51

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

My grandpa spoke english as a second language and I grew up on an Indian reservation. Unfortunately I'm still white.

shoulda registered for head rights motherfucka

# ¿ May 10, 2010 23:03

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Seriously the white man took your guys' land, least you can do is affirmative action his rear end out of higher education vato

# ¿ May 10, 2010 23:04

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

While reading con law I was suddenly struck by this thought:

The law is really this big bubble. The bubble is kept inflated and insulated by the outside world by arcane rituals known as "procedure" and a bizarre, self-actualizing force known as "stare decisis"- kind of like vacuum energy in the big bang. The Supreme court is kind of like the wall of the bubble, sometimes expanding, really just serving as a functional barrier between the outside and the artificial world within. But imagine a world where all processes within the bubble stopped, there would be only chaos and freedom and OH GOD KILL ME

# ¿ May 10, 2010 23:45

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

THE MACHO MAN posted:

That sucks. Did you try contesting it??

In undergrad, I used to always get screwed on income because my parents were just above the need based for aid. I've got at least three ghettos (including good ol Newark) right next door, but my mostly white city screws me.

he was talking about getting a scholarship at admission, not financial aid

# ¿ May 11, 2010 00:02

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

!!!!

I just found a Taco Restaurant that will deliver what sounds like real Tacos AND rockstar energy drinks to my door.

I am so going to be undergoing gastronomic distress during property tomorrow morning.

e: it's called "The Taco Shop"

I had Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner last night and an exam at 8:30 this morning.

Tactical error.

# ¿ May 11, 2010 05:58

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

Making disturbing noises and releasing noxious odors is a time tested strategy to freak the gently caress out of those around you and lower the curve.

Bonus points for beginning to sweat/pant followed by mumbled prayers/panting.

The problem is that once you pop the cork, you gotta keep draining the bottle. loving capsaicin in your pipes is a terrible thing, but it does give you that nervous edge that pushes you to finish early, all the while unnerving those around you.

Alright, enough of this: Best Battletech mercenary unit. Go.

# ¿ May 11, 2010 06:36

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

quepasa18 posted:

Small firm -- I'm one of 4 attorneys, and I'm only part-time.

Give 'em a month's notice.

# ¿ May 11, 2010 20:18

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Mr. Fictitious posted:

their wings aren't even that good :-(

I was hungry, and they're open until 1 am

# ¿ May 11, 2010 21:40

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Alaemon posted:

My torts 2 final was Buffy themed. She got sent to a boot camp for troubled teens and there was some agency law involved and I can't remember what else.

Mine was Twilight themed

# ¿ May 12, 2010 05:39

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

All real schools exempt you from that poo poo. Have fun with that.

I smell . . . cheese?

# ¿ May 12, 2010 21:02

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

The password for my Civ Pro exam was "Stark" - our teacher was mocking us for not being able to go see Iron Man 2 the weekend it came out.

My torts exam password was "Garibaldi" - I've been overloading on Babylon 5 free episodes lately, so I took that as a positive sign

# ¿ May 12, 2010 21:43

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Anyone have good conlaw flowcharts?

I need Due Process, Federal Legislative Power (Commerce, Tenth Amendment, Taxing and Spending, 13th, 14th, 15th Amendments), Dormant Commerce Clause, and Federal Executive Power.

gently caress this gay earth.

# ¿ May 13, 2010 01:04

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

I have some pretty decent outlines, but you betrayed the one true law by going to UIUC rather than Wisconsin.

I will not share with a heretic.

I remember our property discussions, and frankly you guys have some weird poo poo up there in the frozen north that you call "the law"

# ¿ May 13, 2010 02:11

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

TWO LAWYERS ENTER ONE LAWYER LEAVES

bring back terrordrome for the lawschool thread only

# ¿ May 13, 2010 02:29

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Rumor is that we're going to have 3 long questions for our con law exam. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to do this.

# ¿ May 13, 2010 04:07

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JohnnyTreachery posted:

detour into a long policy rant about why lochner and slaughterhouse are the Worst Decisions Ever

Possibly

# ¿ May 13, 2010 04:19

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Somebody send me an invite to the dropbox por favor

# ¿ May 13, 2010 05:19

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

JudicialRestraints posted:

Do you remember the retaliatory shooting of a Hmong hunter by a white Wisconsin native? Not many people do.

I do that was a serious miscarriage of justice in all eyes but those enshrined in a head of cheese

# ¿ May 13, 2010 05:21

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Roger_Mudd posted:

I got a job offer today at a small firm which is great. Bad news is he can't match my current salary until I pass the bar (have one year left of school). Is practicing law (something I want to do) worth a 10%-20% haircut?

What guarantees do you have that you'll actually be brought back up to the same level of pay

# ¿ May 13, 2010 22:37

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

I just realized I finished one year of law school.

Kill me before I drat myself further.

# ¿ May 14, 2010 00:32

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 19:21

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

sigmachiev posted:

Woop done, gonna be a sick summer in SD then I'm blowing this pop stand for greener pastures.

Where are you transferring to?

# ¿ May 14, 2010 01:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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