PYF Hilarious joke to tell: what do i say next

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Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Dr Snofeld posted:

Similarly.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a waste paper bin?

B: I dunno.

A: Aha! So it was YOU!

My favorite variation of this one is "What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?"

# ¿ Mar 21, 2012 14:39

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:58

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Dodgeball posted:

Just thought of this one, dunno if it's already an established joke, though:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Will you sing some?"
"Will you sing some who?"
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

You just lost me so many friends.

# ¿ May 2, 2012 15:07

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

betaraywil posted:

One critique I might offer: Go with something from Baba O'riley. Yelling "teenage wasteland" might be more immediately identifiable as a Who lyric.

...but Won't Get Fooled Again is the CSI Miami theme.

# ¿ May 2, 2012 15:41

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Holy John posted:

My roommate loves to tell this terrible dad joke:

"I'm hungry"
"Nice to meet you, Hungry! My name's Chris."

Better:

"I'm thirsty."
"I'm Friday."

(38/100)

# ¿ Nov 9, 2012 19:12

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

JiimyPopAli posted:

All kid's jokes come across as attempts at Latvian jokes.

LETS SEE WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE

A POO

Those kids' jokes are the best when they either explain the joke or type out HA HA HA or OOOOOHHH

# ¿ Mar 5, 2013 15:47

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

PYF Hilarious Pedantic Quibbles

# ¿ Jun 11, 2013 15:48

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Stairs posted:

One from my son:

Yo' mamma's so ugly when Scorpion saw her he yelled "Stay over there!"

Thank your son for me, I've been telling this one all day.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2013 18:38

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Lurken posted:

Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?

Because he had nobody to go with.

You told it wrong. It's supposed to go:

Q: Where did the skeleton have no body to go with?

A: The dance.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 20:15

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

PYF Ethnic Stereotype

# ¿ Apr 30, 2014 16:14

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Hirayuki posted:

That's one funny parabola!

That doesn't work with the pronunciation of that word.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2014 02:57

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2014 14:14

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Funktor posted:

Just made these up...

What would you get if Apple developed a fish?

iCod!

What if Apple researches cattle herding?

iProd!

How about if Apple gets into landscaping?

iSod!

are you five

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 15:12

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

By the end of the second paragraph I knew there was a terrible pun incoming.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 23:27

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Mr. Welfare posted:

One I made about my perpetually broke co-worker; he seems to enjoy it:

Mr. X and his girlfriend, Ms. Y, are in court. All of their respective family members are in the audience.

The judge clears his throat, and says:

"Mr. X and Mr. Y, in the name of the nation of Australia, I now declare both of you ... BANKRUPT!"

And their family members stand up and applaud.

Those little "heh heh" chuckles you get when you tell this joke do not mean you're funny. They are office etiquette.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2015 13:29

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

is it because they piss it clean? otherwise idgi

It's because no one ever touches it

Edit: oh hey there was a whole other page there

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 00:05

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Tell them this one too.

Why did the French chef kill himself?

He lost the huile d'olive.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 03:39

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Rocket Baby Dolls posted:

I call you an idiot and don't say why you are one, I just walk away after saying it. It's made you question your life and everything you value in life. Which has brought you here expecting a positive answer to that question I imposed on you. Yet every time you ask this in any forum you get no response. I'm finally here to make this a full circle after all these years.

I'm sad that this thread has only generated 18 pages in two years.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2015 17:07

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Zemyla posted:

There was a man who was heading for work, and was going over the speed limit. As he went over a bridge, a cop car came out, lights flashing, and pulled him over. The cop saunters over and asks, "What's your hurry?"

The man replies, "I don't want to be late for work."

"Oh?" the cop asks. "And what do you do that's so important?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher." the man says.

"A rectum stretcher?" the cop asks, incredulous. "What the hell is a rectum stretcher?"

"Well," the man says, "I start off by inserting one finger, then insert two, then three, then four, then my whole hand. After that, I wiggle it around until I can get both hands in, and then I stretch and stretch, until it's six feet wide."

"And what do you do with a six-foot rear end in a top hat?" the cop asks.

"You give him a radar gun and put him behind a bridge."

That punchline was not worth painstakingly crafting that joke around.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 06:54

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

Elendil004 posted:

What are Mario's overalls made out of?

Denim Denim Denim

Bananananana

# ¿ May 15, 2016 17:38

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:58

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

cheerfullydrab posted:

"It's driving me nuts!" so you have a double meaning.

whoosh

# ¿ May 26, 2016 14:19

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